Principal Matters: The School Leader's Podcast with William D. Parker

A Quick Note to Listeners:

Before this week’s interview Jen Schwanke and I take some time to answer a listener question. This week’s question is:

I’m a Secondary leader now tasked with coaching and supporting Elementary leaders. What advice do you have for me when I’m sometimes out of my comfort zone with their unique challenges?

Listen in to hear our response!

Meet Darren Melton:

This week on Principal Matters Podcast, I sit down for a conversation with Darren Melton. Darren serves as Head of School at Lincoln Christian School in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where he has led since 2023. A veteran educator, coach, and administrator with more than 30 years of experience, Darren is known for his relational leadership style, commitment to Christ-centered education, and practical wisdom in building healthy school culture.

Prior to returning to Lincoln Christian, he served as Executive Director of Athletics for Broken Arrow Public Schools. Earlier in his career, he spent 17 years at Lincoln Christian as Head Football Coach and Athletic Director, leading the football program to a 142–38 record.

Darren has also coached at Jenks Public Schools and Owasso Public Schools and has served on the board of directors for the OSSAA. He is passionate about leadership development, strong parent partnerships, and creating school environments built on trust, accountability, and care for students.

Hiring People Who Truly Care About Kids:

We begin by discussing one of Darren’s core beliefs about hiring and team development: “We don’t hire people who take things out on children.” Darren explains how difficult it can be to evaluate emotional maturity and relational health during the hiring process, but emphasizes the importance of surrounding students with people who genuinely love kids and want to build relationships with them. He reflects on the joy of seeing former students become strong leaders, parents, and educators themselves—and why character matters just as much as competency in school leadership.

Filling the Gap with Trust, Not Suspicion:

One of the central themes of the episode comes from a phrase Darren often uses: “Fill the gap with trust, not suspicion.” Darren shares how leadership teams can easily fall into unhealthy assumptions when communication is incomplete, but healthy organizations choose trust first. He explains how strong leadership cultures are built when teams feel safe enough to disagree, wrestle with hard conversations, and still walk away united around what is best for students and families. The conversation highlights the importance of humility, healthy conflict, and assuming positive intent.

Building Parent Partnerships Before Conflict Happens:

We also explore how school leaders can strengthen partnerships with parents before problems arise. Darren explains why schools must proactively communicate expectations “upstream” rather than waiting until conflict surfaces. From admissions conversations to parent meetings and athletic programs, he shares how clarity and consistency help families better navigate challenges when they come. Darren emphasizes that conflict is inevitable in schools, but trust and preparation can make those conversations healthier and more productive.

“Kids Are the Managers of Information”:

Another powerful part of the conversation centers on Darren’s statement that “kids are the managers of information.” He discusses how students naturally tell stories from their own perspective, and why parents and schools must work together carefully to pursue truth instead of reacting emotionally to incomplete information. Darren explains that discipline should ultimately be about restoration, growth, and helping students fail forward while still knowing they are loved and supported by the adults around them.

Getting Upstream from Problems:

We also discuss the importance of getting “as far upstream as possible” from problems. Darren shares practical examples from coaching, athletics, and school leadership about why leaders must clearly define expectations early and often. Whether it’s teaching procedures, communicating standards to parents, or preparing students for responsibility, he explains how intentional systems prevent unnecessary confusion and conflict later. Leadership, he argues, is often about managing small details with consistency and care.

Leading with Humility and Support:

As the episode closes, Darren reflects on the importance of surrounding yourself with great people and building cultures where staff members know their leaders genuinely have their backs. He speaks candidly about leadership challenges, reviewing systems honestly, learning from mistakes, and continuing to grow alongside trusted teams. Throughout the conversation, Darren models a leadership style grounded in humility, courage, accountability, and deep care for people.

Now It’s Your Turn:

As you reflect on this conversation, consider these questions for your own leadership:

Where might you be filling gaps with suspicion instead of trust?

Have you clearly defined expectations for your staff, students, and families “upstream” before conflict occurs?

Do your team members genuinely know that you have their backs?

How are you building a culture where healthy conflict and honest conversations can happen safely?

In what ways could you better communicate care and support before addressing problems or performance?

Thank you for doing what matters as you lead with practical wisdom and powerful reminders about trust-based leadership and healthy school culture!

You can learn more about Lincoln Christian School at their website. Connect with Darren Melton via email at: darren.melton@lincolnchristianschool.com.

The post Fill the Gap with Trust with Darren Melton – PMP521 appeared first on Principal Matters.

What happens when what you get isn’t what you wanted? This week on Monday Matters, Jen Schwanke shares a story from her newsletter, “The Dog I Wanted,” about losing a beloved dog and learning to love a new one who was nothing like what she expected. Jen and Will connect the story to a reality every school leader knows: the staff you lead, the students you serve, and the challenges you face won’t always match what you hoped or planned for. Listen in as they discuss how principals and teachers can let go of expectations, adjust to the people and circumstances in front of them, and lead well when reality looks different from the plan.

A Quick Note to Listeners:

Before this week’s interview, Jen Schwanke and I take some time to answer a listener question. This week’s question is:

What practical ways can I increase visibility even when I get trapped in my office so often?

Listen in to hear our answer!

Meet Patrick Erwin:

Patrick M. Erwin is an educator, speaker, and leadership development specialist currently serving as Curriculum Director for Maxwell Leadership Foundation. With a background that blends music education, leadership, and school culture development, Patrick spent 17 years as the band director at Hillgrove High School, where he became known for building strong student leadership systems and positive team culture.

He holds degrees from the University of Georgia, Auburn University, and Berry College. Patrick is the author of the new book I Love This Place, which explores how intentional leadership development can transform school culture. A nationally recognized presenter and leadership coach, Patrick continues to encourage educators through speaking, curriculum design, and practical strategies that help schools become places where both students and staff thrive.

Amplifying School Culture Through Leadership:

Patrick and I begin our conversation by exploring one of the central metaphors in Patrick’s new book, I Love This Place: the idea of constructive and destructive interference in music. Patrick explains how school teams either amplify one another or unintentionally cancel each other out depending on how aligned they are around vision, values, and expected behaviors. Just as musical harmony requires people playing together with intention, healthy school culture requires leaders who clearly communicate purpose and create alignment across teams. Leadership, Patrick argues, becomes more influential when others catch the vision and begin amplifying it alongside you.

The Leadership Framework of HUSTLE:

Patrick also shares the story behind the acronym HUSTLE, a leadership framework he developed while leading a large high school band program. Originally a reminder to move quickly and stay focused, HUSTLE eventually evolved into a practical leadership model centered on key character traits: humility, understanding, scholarship, trustworthiness, leadership attitude, and excellence. Patrick explains how those values became the foundation for developing student leaders who could influence culture, support one another, and help sustain a thriving organization far beyond what two directors alone could accomplish.

Humility vs. Humiliation:

One of the most powerful parts of the conversation centers on Patrick’s distinction between humility and humiliation. He explains that both words share the same root idea of being “grounded,” but humility is choosing to ground yourself honestly, while humiliation happens when the world grounds you instead. Patrick shares transparent stories from his early years as a teacher, including difficult moments where ego and pride created blind spots in his leadership. Those experiences ultimately helped him recognize that leadership is not about protecting personal reputation or legacy, but about serving others, learning continuously, and staying open to growth.

Why Diversity Strengthens Teams:

We also dive into Patrick’s reflections on diversity, inclusion, and team composition. Drawing from both research and his own classroom experience, he explains why diverse teams naturally create friction—but also produce stronger decisions, better creativity, and healthier outcomes over time. Patrick describes looking across his classroom and recognizing the incredible variety of personalities, experiences, and backgrounds represented within a single group of students. Rather than trying to erase differences, he argues that leaders must learn how to celebrate them, understand them, and help teams find common purpose while allowing different strengths to shine.

Creating Rituals That Build Belonging:

Patrick shares several practical strategies for building school culture, including one especially powerful ritual involving nuts, bolts, and paracord necklaces. At the end of each marching band season, students exchanged nuts and bolts with peers who had “helped them hold it together” throughout the year. The simple physical artifact became a lasting symbol of teamwork, support, and shared accomplishment. Patrick explains how attaching meaningful objects to emotional moments can help students remember that they belong to something bigger than themselves and that strong cultures are built through intentional connection and recognition.

Building Places People Love:

As the episode closes, Patrick reminds listeners that culture change takes time, often several years, but leadership development remains one of the most powerful drivers of long-term transformation. When schools intentionally invest in helping both adults and students grow as leaders, cultures become places where people feel connected, valued, and proud to belong. Eventually, students begin leaving campus and telling others, “I love this place.” And according to Patrick, that is when true culture change begins spreading into the broader community.

Now It’s Your Turn:

As you reflect on this conversation, consider these questions for your own leadership:

Are your teams amplifying one another or unintentionally canceling one another out?

How clearly have you communicated vision, values, and expectations within your organization?

Are you choosing humility, or waiting for humiliation to teach the lesson instead?

How are you helping diverse voices and strengths shine within your team?

What rituals or traditions could help your students and staff feel more connected and valued?

Where might you need to give someone permission to lead instead of trying to control every outcome?

Learn more about I Love This Place and connect with Patrick at Patrick Erwin’s Website

The post I Love This Place with Patrick Erwin – PMP520 appeared first on Principal Matters.

The school year is in full swing, and in addition to leaders I’ve been supporting in Grow Academies, Masterminds, and one-on-on coaching, I’ve also had the privilege of gathering with leaders in person.

This week I wanted to share about an opportunity I had recently to join my friend Chris LeGrande, Executive Director of Oklahoma’s secondary principal and middle-level education associations (OASSP & OMLEA), as Principal Matters sponsored a dinner for principals from my area of the state.

Several themes emerged from our time together. Here are three takeaways I thought may resonate with Principal Matters listeners and leaders:

Belonging matters, not just for students, but for adults too. Beau Brannon, Union High School, Tulsa, Oklahoma, shared an amazing system he and his teachers have created to track every student to make sure he/she has a caring adult connected to their outcomes. Listen in as Jen and I talk about some of the takeaways he’s learned from that effort.

PLCs, when done well, can be wonderful. When done without fidelity, they can become toxic. Timothy Ray, Assistant Superintendent, Catoosa Public Schools, Oklahoma, shared vulnerable lessons on how his leadership team has reorganized their own meetings around teaching and learning in order to dive deeper into the same tasks their helping teachers navigate.

AI is still top of mind for many leaders who are trying to figure out how to protect against its misuse while also learning how to manage it as a tool, not an end in itself. Amy Sanders, Sapulpa Public Schools, Oklahoma, shared ways she and her teachers are tackling the hard questions of keeping students safe while also not being afraid of learning ways to utilize technology as an instrument in learning.

As I like to say whenever I’m in a room with other leaders, “The smartest person in the room is the room.”

Jen and I also discuss some upcoming leadership development opportunities for listeners. as well as give some shout-outs to the following:

For Oklahoma leaders: Sign up for the OASSP/OMLEA Leadership & Learning Conference in Edmond, Oklahoma, October 28–29. Danny Steele and Phil Januszewski will be keynoting, along with other great leaders:

https://www.ccosa.org/page/oasspomlea-leadership-and-learning-conference

For all leaders: In September, I launched a virtual leadership series called Hats We Wear in partnership with First Educational Resources. We meet once a month. Even though we’ve already completed Session 1, it’s not too late to sign up for the remaining seven sessions. You’ll also receive the video from Session 1 so you can catch up in the meantime.

Want to learn more about Hats We Wear – Virtual PD Series or sign up? Go here:

https://resources.firsteducation-us.com/the-hats-we-wear-as-school-leaders-how-to-lead-serve-coach-and-communicate-with-confidence-full-year-series-landing-page

Finally, Jen Schwanke will be at Louisiana’s principal’s association conference September 27-28, in Baton Rouge. If you’re there, make sure to tell her hello!

Listen to the full episode to hear us reflect on these and other ideas that emerged in today’s Monday Matters! As always, thank you for doing what matters! ~ Will

The post MONDAY MATTERS with Jen Schwanke and Will Parker – Learning From Other Leaders appeared first on Principal Matters.

Meet Robyn Hamasaki:

Robyn Hamasaki is Managing Director of Leadership Development for the National Principals Association, supporting efforts to develop PreK–12 school leaders, National Honor Society advisers, and student councils. Previously, she served as a teacher, assistant principal, and PreK–8 principal and helped establish the Principal Leadership Institute with the Colorado Department of Education. She also served as a Colonel in the U.S. Army Reserve. Born and raised in Hawaii, Robyn brings a deep commitment to servant leadership, coaching, belonging, relationships, and developing others.

The Realities of School Leadership:

Robyn begins by discussing one of the persistent realities of school leadership: it can be lonely. Whether leading a rural school, serving without an assistant principal, or simply carrying responsibilities others may not fully understand, school leaders need meaningful connections with people who understand the work. Robyn emphasizes the importance of networks, coaching relationships, and communities where leaders can safely talk through challenges, exchange ideas, and learn from one another.

Belonging:

A central theme of the conversation is belonging. Robyn explains that belonging matters not only for students, but also for teachers and school leaders. When people feel seen, heard, and connected, they become more committed and confident. The progression can be summarized in this way:

Belonging → Attachment → Commitment → Transformation

Five Guiding Principles:

The conversation also explores lessons Robyn has learned from decades of leadership across education and the military. She identifies five principles that continue to guide her:

I can’t do it alone.

It’s not about being right and making someone else wrong.

Include and empower others in leadership.

Lead by example.

Trust your gut and the experience behind it.

2027 National Principals Conference:

Robyn also previews the February 2027 National Principals Conference in Tampa, built around the theme “One Conference, One Community.” She shares how the conference is being designed as a PreK–12 gathering focused not simply on professional development, but on creating meaningful experiences, relationships, and memories for school leaders. Conference strands will address teaching and learning; belonging and well-being; systems leadership; community voice and shared responsibility; and innovation, technology, and AI.

Closing Comments:

As the conversation closes, Robyn offers a reminder to school leaders to cherish the experience of leadership. The work is difficult, but leaders have an extraordinary opportunity every day to influence students, teachers, families, and communities. She encourages leaders to notice and celebrate what’s going well, reach out when the work becomes difficult, build a community of support, and remember the power of something as simple as noticing another person and saying hello.

Staying Connected:

To connect with Robyn Hamasaki, you can shoot her an email at: robyn.hamasaki@principals.org.

If you would like to learn more about the 2027 National Principals Conference, you can visit https://www.principals.org/ or see the information below!

National Principals Conference 2027:
February 6–9, 2027
Tampa Convention Center | Tampa, Florida
https://npc.principals.org/

Conference Registration & Rates:
https://npc.principals.org/conference-rates-and-hotel/

The $699 early-bird registration rate is available through September 30, 2026.

The post Creating Belonging, Experience, and Memories with Robyn Hamasaki – PMP519 appeared first on Principal Matters.