The Angry Therapist Podcast

I think resentment is one of the biggest things that can crack a relationship. We get hurt, minimize it, swallow it, and keep moving until all those little things start piling up. Eventually, the resentment becomes so big that we don't see the person or the relationship the same way anymore.

In this episode, I talk about why we need to learn how to express ourselves before resentment turns into a giant pile, how to know what is actually worth bringing to the table, and why resolving resentment doesn't always mean getting an apology from the person who hurt us.

I also talk about how to bring up resentment without blaming or attacking someone, taking ownership for my own part, and figuring out whether a relationship is still worth investing in. I break down the difference between doing life with someone, at someone, or around someone - and why honest relationships require us to be willing to talk about the hard shit.

I talk about:

Why resentment can create hairline cracks in a relationship.

How swallowing small hurts can eventually turn into a giant pile of resentment.

Why I don't believe we can always depend on someone else to give us closure.

How to decide what is actually worth expressing.

Why I sometimes overexpress and need to work things out on my own first.

Why bringing up resentment should come from a place of response rather than reaction.

How taking ownership for my own part can change the conversation.

What someone's response to my hurt can tell me about their capacity for the relationship.

Why some relationships may have simply been outgrown.

How children, finances, and other responsibilities can make resentment harder to address.

Why I think we have a responsibility to express valid hurt before the pile gets too big.

The difference between doing life with someone, at someone, and around someone.

How to think about resentment differently in romantic relationships, friendships, and family.

Why some resentment may need to be processed without ever being expressed directly.

Why working through resentment is a muscle that requires reps.

If this episode resonated with you, be sure to follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share it with someone who might need to hear it.

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE

My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on my SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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I’ve been thinking a lot about my relationship with God. I believe in God. I believe in something greater. But I’ve realized that believing in God and actually having a relationship with God are two different things for me.

In this episode, I get honest about growing up without religion, my complicated history with Christianity, the moments in my life that have felt undeniably spiritual, and why I think I’ve sometimes avoided a deeper relationship with God. I talk about light and dark, pleasure and addiction, surrender, serendipity, and the idea that our stories may be the place where we see something greater working through us.

I also talk about my house burning down, starting over in Costa Rica, the unexpected things that have happened since, and how those experiences have changed the way I see my life and my relationship with God. I share why I’ve started looking at my story differently and why I think making sense of the painful parts of our lives can help us move from a dark place toward the light.

I talk about:

● Why I believe in God but still struggle with my relationship with God.

● Growing up without religion and my complicated relationship with Christianity.

● Why I sometimes felt like I was performing rather than genuinely worshipping.

● The moments in my life that have felt like undeniable “God moments.”

● Why I see light and dark as two different paths we can move toward.

● How pleasure, addiction, and unhealthy choices can pull us toward darkness.

● Why I think serendipity can be a form of light.

● How I’ve started seeing the events in my life as part of a larger story.

● What my house burning down taught me about surrender and starting over.

● Why I believe our story may be the most valuable thing we ever own.

● How looking back at trauma and painful experiences can help us understand our story.

● Why I’m beginning to wonder if this next chapter of my life is about developing a better relationship with God.

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HEREMy book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on my SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do we remain stuck in the same patterns, compare ourselves to our partner’s past, or wait for an ex to give us closure?

In Episode 26 of Therapy Thursdays, John answers your most personal questions about identity, intimacy, insecurity, attachment and relationships. He explains why meaningful change requires us to let go of an old version of ourselves - and why the familiar can feel safe even when it is making us unhappy.

He also explores what true intimacy looks like after the performance falls away, how to respond when a partner asks for space, and what couples are really trying to communicate beneath everyday arguments. From protest behaviour and defensiveness to breakups, reconciliation and the need for an apology, this episode is about recognising what is happening underneath the surface.

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE

My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on my SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m breaking down the biggest ways I think we sabotage our own healing, relationships, and lives. This conversation came from a post that resonated with millions of people and grew into a series because these patterns are so common - and so easy to mistake for growth.

I talk about why insight isn’t the same as change, why breakups aren’t something we simply “get over,” why divorce doesn’t automatically mean failure, and why chasing happiness can keep us disconnected from a life that actually feels meaningful.

I talk about:

Why knowing my attachment style doesn’t automatically change my behavior.

How self-awareness can become another place to hide.

Why healing eventually becomes about execution, not explanation.

Why I don’t believe we truly get over people we deeply loved.

How grief includes losing the future I imagined with someone.

Why divorce doesn’t erase a real or meaningful marriage.

How staying because of fear is different from staying because of love.

Why happiness was never meant to be my permanent destination.

What I’ve started choosing instead of making happiness my North Star.

If this episode resonated with you, be sure to follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share it with someone who might need to hear it.

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE

My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on my SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when I know better but still find myself repeating the same relationship patterns? I answer 10 questions about love, attachment, obsession, loneliness, breakups, abuse, reconciliation, and the difficult choices we make when relationships activate something deeper inside us.

I talk about why we can confuse familiarity with safety, why we sometimes become addicted to what another person does to our nervous system, and how to tell the difference between attachment anxiety and intuition. I also explore why some relationships are worth experiencing even if they aren't meant to last, and why being lonely inside a relationship can make attention from an ex feel so powerful.

In this episode:

• Why repetition compulsion can make us recreate emotional dynamics that hurt us

• How familiar can become confused with safe

• Why obsession with another person can actually be a form of emotional regulation

• How to distinguish attachment anxiety from intuition

• How to tell whether you're fighting for a relationship or fighting against grieving it

• Why not every meaningful relationship has to become a lifelong one

• Why I don't believe there is necessarily one person who is the one

• What loneliness inside a relationship can reveal about what you're actually missing

• Why leaving an abusive relationship can be much more complicated than simply knowing you should leave

• When friendship with an ex is actually just another way of holding on

• Why long-term relationships can become disconnected and what it can look like to find each other again

🎙️ Connect with me:

📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE

My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co

📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on my SubStack ⁠HERE⁠

If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE

Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find out more HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices