The Better Man Podcast

There is nothing more deeply humiliating or shameful, to men, than suffering from any kind of sexual dysfunction. 
 
You feel like less of a man. You lose your natural sense of masculinity. And it allows your shame to consume your mind and trick you into thinking you'll be laughed at if you bring it up to other men. 
 
But something magical happens when you can talk about it openly: 
 
It loosens the pressure vault and lets the tension in your nervous system relax. Why? Because your sexual wellness isn't just about doing more kegels. In fact, that misses the point entirely. 
 
Perhaps nobody knows this better than today's guest, Michael Hodge. 
 
Michael lived through 5 years of severe pelvic pain, urinary, and sexual issues, which culminated in his wife telling him that she doesn't want to have sex with him anymore. 
 
Since then, he's merged his own healing experience with somatic nervous system practices which saved his sex life (and possibly his marriage). Beyond that, he's helped thousands of men transform their sexual and pelvic health issues too. 
 
Today's episode will transform how you think about - and approach - your own sexual wellness. You'll see why it's a necessary ingredient to your overall holistic health. And you'll leave with weird techniques that can make a significant difference to your connection and sense of pleasure (versus pressure) when it's time to "get busy." 
 
Here's what Michael and I discuss: 
 
Why your sexual health means so much more than your penis or pelvic floor 

How bringing more sexual energy into your platonic relationships improves your sexual relationship with your partner 

Why the best way to improve your sexual health is by playing more in your day-to-day life 

 
And so much more, including… 
 
Why putting too much emphasis on exercises to address underlying sexual dysfunction can sometimes miss the forest for the trees (1:53) 

How Michael's been through the complete ringer of pelvic floor and sexual health dysfunction - and what helped him to recover "down there" (6:43) 

A strange connection between "nice guy complex" and sexual dysfunction (10:08) 

Why type T personality types usually finish the quickest in bed (and how addressing your nervous system can help you last longer) (11:03) 

How somatic techniques can be wildly effective if you're prone to bottling up your emotions (this made Michael cry the most primal cry of his life) (14:04) 

The scientific reason why purely mechanical approaches to ED and other types of sexual dysfunction leave you hanging (17:56) 

Do you feel "trapped in your body" when making love? Here's why this is a common feeling (22:06) 

How to instantly quell any feelings of guilt or shame when you're getting busy (and why this nervous system technique will help you last longer and enjoy sex more) (25:45) 

Are you scared that your partner will leave you because of your bedroom performance? Michael's wife said that to him once (and here's how he fixed it for good) (26:21) 

How to significantly increase how long you last by doing something that will make you recoil … but it WORKS! (43:01) 

 
Guest Bio:
 
Michael Hodge lived through 5 years of severe pelvic pain, urinary, and sexual issues. By merging his own healing experience with nervous system practices, he is helping thousands of men to transform their pelvic health. He also really likes dark chocolate and produces euphoric dance music.
 
Resources mentioned in this episode: 
 
1. Transform Men's Pelvic Health Website: https://www.transformpelvichealth.com/
 
2. Miachel's Vigor Sexual Strength Program (for ED and PE): https://bit.ly/vigorstrongsex   
 
(Use code MANFLOW to save 15% on Michael's Vigor program.)  
 
3. Overcome Pelvic + Urinary Issues Program: https://bit.ly/overcomepelvicpain  
 
4. Follow Transform Men's Pelvic Health on social media: 
 
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@TransformPelvicHealth   
Instagram: @transformpelvichealth  
Tik Tok: @transformpelvichealth
 
5. Man Flow Yoga: Haven't signed up yet? Start your 7-day free trial and see how yoga can eliminate aches and pains better than other types of exercise here: https://shrtlnk.co/kP8M7 
 
6. Man Flow Yoga Events: Find the full list of cities we're coming to here: https://manflowyoga.com/man-flow-yoga-events/

If you're a dad, especially if you have younger kids, then you know how quickly your home can go from clean and organized to a chaotic disaster. 
 
Whether you realize it or not, this physical clutter takes a toll on you - emotionally, mentally, and spiritually (even if you have a high tolerance for clutter, which is something I was not born with). 
 
With Father's Day around the corner, and as a dad of two young kids myself, I invited the PERFECT guest for today's Father's Day themed show: 
 
Tyler Moore aka The Tidy Dad!
 
Tyler is a public school teacher, best-selling author of Tidy Up Your Life: Rethinking How to Organize, Declutter, and Make Space for What Matters Most, and perhaps most impressive, is that he's a father of three living in a 700 square foot apartment in New York City. 
 
Squeezing five people (including three children) into a 700 square foot apartment is not easy. He doesn't have the luxury of excess physical space that many of us do. 
 
And yet, his apartment stays cleaner, more organized, and more efficient than the vast majority of living spaces. Mine included. 
 
And you know what?
 
After Tyler created a system to keep his 700 square foot apartment clean, organized, and useful … he realized how crucial his "tidying up" methods are when applied to other, more important areas of life like his relationships, his career, and his overall life. 
 
This is a fantastic episode even if you're not a dad, even if you live in a spacious home, and even if your living space isn't cluttered. 
 
Here's what Tyler and I discuss: 
 
How to declutter your life according to a dad of three living in a 700 square foot apartment in New York City

The vicious way keeping up with the joneses fills your house with useless stuff 

How physical decluttering and organization applies to more important areas of your life too 

 
Here's a sneak peek at what's in this episode: 
 
How 30-day experiments can give you a completely new experience of life (without boxing you into a certain identity) (1:58)

Why The Tidy Dad spends his mornings with Man Flow Yoga (3:13) 

The absolute worst way to start your morning (and you probably do it too) (8:34) 

A silly question to ask about your clothes that will give you instant clarity over whether it can be safely donated or kept (14:11) 

The strange way certain color clothing gives you a boost of confidence (18:16)

How thinking of the rooms in your house as zones can tidy up a cluttered space almost overnight (and why it might address your hidden dissatisfaction) (24:56) 

An ingenious "toy" idea for your kids that will be consumed in quick order (41:00) 

How to jump off the train that leads to an endless accumulation of stuff (and the sneaky cause of it) (42:41) 

Why the simple act of naming stuff around your house means you can tidy it (54:42) 

The suffocating "Internalization" trap that men, and particularly fathers, fall into and the simple, yet identity-shattering way out (56:43) 




Resources mentioned in this episode: 
 
1. Man Flow Yoga Father's Day Sale: Tidy Dad-approved. If you're seeing this before Monday, June 22, we're currently having our biggest sale of the year. Become a Man Flow Yoga Lifer here: https://manflowyoga.com/fathers-day-2026/ 
 
2. Get Tyler's Book: Tidy Up Your Life: Rethinking How to Organize, Declutter, and Make Space for What Matters Most on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Tidy-Your-Life-Rethinking-Declutter/dp/0593797833 
 
3. Read The Tidy Times (Tyler's Substack) and learn how to become more tidy in your day-to-day life: https://tidydad.substack.com/ 
 
4. Listen to Tyler's Podcast, Tidy Tidbits, available wherever you listen to podcasts. 
 
5. Follow Tyler on Instagram: @TidyDad (https://www.instagram.com/tidydad/)  
 
6. Check out The Tidy Dad website here: https://thetidydad.com/ 
 
7. Man Flow Yoga Events: Find the full list of cities we're coming to here: https://manflowyoga.com/man-flow-yoga-events/

I've always been suspicious of this idea that becoming more selfish is the path to happiness. It feels like a lie. Especially when you're a father. 
 
But you know what?
 
After hosting a handful of in-person events this year, I've noticed a silent crisis amongst men: We don't know how to get our needs met. We carry around invisible rucksacks that weigh us down, dim the color and depth of our world, and snatch peace, fulfillment, and joy from our grasp.
 
My suspicion about doing things that benefit me was an example of this invisible weight. Maybe yours is a productivity hack, a fitness schedule, or a weight loss journey. Defense mechanisms like these are smart and cunning, so they'll dress themselves up in a way that feels like moving forward… 
 
…while you slowly watch your world get duller and less fulfilling around you. 
 
So ponder these questions:
 
What if there was nothing to fix about yourself? 
 
What if you didn't have to fill every spare second of your schedule to feel like enough? 

What if you didn't need to become a better man to be happy and fulfilled and connected? 
 
Join me as I try to answer these existential, yet empowering questions. 
 
Here's a sneak peek at what's in this episode: 
 
Why optimizing only your physical fitness leaves your mental, emotional, and social fitness hanging (0:27) 

How the wrong environment can leave past pains and traumas trapped in the physical body (and why giving yourself a break from the daily drudge of your routine makes it easier to let them go) (1:22) 

The invisible 60 lb rucksack that modern men carry on their shoulders without experiencing the immense relief that comes by setting it down (3:12) 

Why losing weight can't make you happy forever (and what you actually need to do to feel the peace, fulfillment, and joy that's always available) (8:15) 

Why you can't out-exercise a bad diet and you can't out-work a negative emotional pattern (and what to do instead to become the man you want) (8:43) 

How approaching your emotions as THE solution, instead of the problem, makes all of your goals more achievable and more fun (10:18) 

A heavy realization I made after recent Man Flow Yoga Events about why something feels like it's missing in so many lives of middle-aged men (19:00) 

Why being selfish (like spending an entire weekend golfing) is perhaps the most counterintuitive, yet effective way to improve your relationships (24:32) 




Resources mentioned in this episode: 
 
1. Man Flow Yoga Events: Find the full list of cities we're coming to here: https://manflowyoga.com/man-flow-yoga-events/ 
 
2. Man Flow Yoga: Haven't signed up yet? Start your 7-day free trial and see how yoga can eliminate aches and pains better than other types of exercise here: https://shrtlnk.co/kP8M7

What if you could achieve all of your health goals without using any willpower, discipline, or external motivation?
 
It might sound too good to be true, but there's a surprisingly simple way to do this: Falling in love with your future.
 
Something magical happens when you fall in love with your future: You start to appreciate the mistakes you made (or will make) on your health journey instead of beating yourself up over them. 
 
Today's guest, Scott, experienced this first-hand:
 
After retiring and moving to Hawai'i with his husband, the luxurious life caught up to his belly. One day, he looked in the mirror and hardly recognized himself because he gained so much weight. 

Instead of beating himself up over it or worrying how he'll find the discipline to be consistent enough to lose the weight, Scott remembered to fall in love with his future. 
 
Since that moment he looked in the mirror, Scott's done a complete 180. He started yoga and eating right. As his momentum grew, he started resistance training. And today, he's continually tinkering and integrating healthier micro habits into his daily life.
 
Scott comes loaded with helpful tips and tricks, mindset shifts, and ways to approach your fitness and health from a new perspective.  
 
Here's what Scott and I discuss:
 
The micro habits Scott built to lose weight in retirement 

How to eliminate the need for discipline and sacrifices when becoming healthier 

How to create your own philosophies that can hold you up when accountability, discipline, and motivation fail

 
And more, including… 
 
The spiritual mindset shift Scott went through after not recognizing himself in his mirror (and how this enabled him to be consistent without discipline) (3:11) 

The slow and insidious postural destruction that happens when you sit at a desk for work all day (3:34) 

Why the "Gravel Hill" technique can stop you from falling off the wagon completely when you feel discouraged or uncomfortable (6:16) 

How to recognize your growth when you're miserable in the middle of the discomfort phase (8:16) 

Why falling in love with your future unlocks the ability to look forward to stumbling on your fitness journey (9:19) 

The counterintuitive reason to put yourself first in your relationship (it sounds weird, but Scott and his husband celebrate 30 years next year!) (16:58) 

Why off-the-mat Man Flow Yoga helps ingrain the postural benefits more deeply into your body (and how to easily start doing this) (28:53) 

How to start resistance training without stepping foot in the gym or even lifting weights (42:28) 

The most effective dieting strategy if you're overweight and over 50 (48:51) 




Resources mentioned in this episode: 
 
1. Man Flow Yoga Events: Find the full list of cities we're coming to here: https://manflowyoga.com/man-flow-yoga-events/ 
 
2. Man Flow Yoga: Haven't signed up yet? Start your 7-day free trial and see how yoga can eliminate aches and pains better than other types of exercise here: https://shrtlnk.co/kP8M7

Our world has become too shackled into "black and white" thinking. 
 
When something is considered "good," the negative trade-offs are ignored and neglected. When something is considered "bad," the good is disregarded and the baby gets tossed out with the bath water.
 
But the reality is that there's a lot more gray areas than we think. This is particularly true with charged topics like the differences between male and female, between masculinity and femininity. 
 
The truth rarely exists on the extremes. Both sides of an argument have positive and negative aspects to think deeply about. And absorbing an entire belief system while disregarding the "other side" can lead to real disconnection in your relationships and with yourself. 
 
Today's guest, Rafe Kelley (founder of Evolve Move Play), has lived out the consequences of falling into extreme camps. It caused a serious rupture in his marriage. But it's also taught him a valuable lesson: 
 
How to take the good from bad belief systems, separate the bad from good belief systems, and create your own Bespoke Belief System that's unique to you and serves your highest self. 
 
I encourage you to listen to this episode in its entirety. It is a heavily nuanced discussion of some of the hottest cultural topics and it may challenge some of your beliefs. You might feel yourself get pulled into the "cognitive miser" trap that Rafe mentions at the beginning of this episode. 
 
But if you listen with an open mind, you'll get as much from this episode as I did. 
 
Here's what Rafe and I discuss:
 
The differences between men and women (and why losing our sexual polarity is harmful to everyone)

How belief systems based on truth are surrounded by a foundation of falsehoods

Why considering beliefs from people you disagree with instead of throwing out anything not in your "camp" is one of the best ways to protect your closest relationships

 
And more, including… 
 
The danger of falling into traps placed by "cognitive misers" that can mess up your entire belief system (and why a Bespoke Belief System shields you from this) (3:23) 

Why do vegans become carnivore people? And how this ideological trap applies to every social media hot button (6:28) 

The fundamental problem in society and how we can answer this delicate question responsibly (12:44) 

Why does sexuality create so much guilt, shame, and trauma? (And the bizarre role played by living in a society based on Christian values) (21:25) 

How we inherited a shame-based relationship with sexuality from the Middle Ages (and why it still exists today) (27:24)  

Why misunderstanding the role males and females play leads to frustration in relationship and could even lead to divorce (41:31) 

How ideological groups take a grain of truth then encode a false belief system around that seed (and how this wrecked Rafe's marriage) (50:17)  

The overlooked negative trade-offs that naturally arise when we treat men and women as the same (and why respecting the differences means seeing differences as complimentary and not about superiority or inferiority) (59:42)  

 
Guest Bio: 
 
Rafe Kelley, founder of Evolve Move Play, pioneers a unique movement philosophy, merging parkour with martial arts and a deep connection to nature, fostering a holistic wisdom practice. With over two decades of teaching experience, he offers transformative retreats, workshops, and online courses worldwide. His work emphasizes the synergy between body, psyche, and environment, inviting exploration of personal potential and the sacred in movement.
 
Resources mentioned in this episode: 
 
1. Rediscover your true nature through movement, play, and connection on Rafe's website here: https://www.evolvemoveplay.com/
 
2. Join Rafe's free online forum at: https://coaching.evolvemoveplay.com 
 
3. Follow Rafe on social media below: 
 
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rafekelley 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evolve.move.play/ 
 
4. Man Flow Yoga Events: Find the full list of cities we're coming to here: https://manflowyoga.com/man-flow-yoga-events/ 
 
5. Man Flow Yoga: Haven't signed up yet? Start your 7-day free trial and see how yoga can eliminate aches and pains better than other types of exercise here: https://shrtlnk.co/kP8M7