Adult Child

⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community
6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection
👉 theshitshow.mn.co

🥩 Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a $35 off: https://www.omahasteaks.com

🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION
Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.
➡️ Join here

💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD
☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat
🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch

💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA
Instagram → @adultchildpod
TikTok → @adultchildpod
YouTube → @adultchildpod

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If you feel guilty for shit you didn’t even do, this one’s for you. 
Toxic guilt isn’t feedback on what you did. It’s a verdict on who you are, and you can’t apologize your way out of a verdict. And today we’re unpacking all the ways it shows up in your life, the childhood experiences that wired it into you, and how to actually heal it through Internal Family Systems (IFS) and polyvagal theory.
✨ What this episode explores
▪️ Six Fears Behind Toxic Guilt - What each one sounds like in your head, from “someone’s going to be mad at me” to “it’s all going to go to shit,” and the behavior each one drives you toward.
▪️ The Inner Critic and Shame Cycle - How your inner critic, a young shame part, and your escaping parts keep each other going, and why you can’t break the cycle by silencing just one of them.
▪️ Shame as a Survival Response - Why slumping, looking away, and going quiet made you less of a target as a kid, and why your body still does it when you’re not in danger.
▪️ Guilt Over Rest and Pleasure - Why toxic guilt doesn’t need anyone else in the room, and how it makes resting, buying something nice, or having a bad day feel like something you’re getting away with.
▪️ Polyvagal Tools for Toxic Guilt - How naming the state instead of the story, doing the physical opposite of collapse, and reaching out for co-regulation start to tell your body something new.

🎧 If this episode resonated, you might also love:
▪️ Ep 190 | The Purpose of Our Pain: IFS Therapy to Heal Complex Trauma w/ Tammy Sollenberger
▪️ Ep 241 | Inside an Emotional Flashback: Recognizing One, Surviving One & What's Underneath
▪️ Ep 167 | Gaslighting, Imposter Syndrome & Emotional Attunement w/ Amelia Kelley
-----------------------
⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community
6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection
👉 theshitshow.mn.co

🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION
Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.
➡️ Join here

💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD
☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat
🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch

💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA
Instagram → @adultchildpod
TikTok → @adultchildpod
YouTube → @adultchildpod

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community
6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection
👉 theshitshow.mn.co

🥩 Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a $35 off: https://www.omahasteaks.com

🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION
Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.
➡️ Join here

💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD
☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat
🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch

💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA
Instagram → @adultchildpod
TikTok → @adultchildpod
YouTube → @adultchildpod

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Your childhood decided who people are before they ever opened their mouths. Sometimes that means missing the person who is hurting you. Sometimes it means creating the harm you were braced for.
There are two different ways your trauma keeps you from seeing a relationship for what it actually is. Betrayal blindness is not seeing the ways people are treating you like shit. Attachment blindness is not being able to see the people you're in relationships with accurately in the first place. Today we're diving into both.
✨ What this episode explores
▪️ Betrayal Blindness — Why your mind, body and nervous system will keep you from seeing that someone you depend on is hurting you, and what they are protecting you from.
▪️ What Actually Counts as a Parent Betraying You — Why it isn't just the obvious abuse, and the one thing that makes all of it betrayal no matter what it looked like.
▪️ Seeing the Incident But Not the Pattern — The more common version for adult children, where you clock every individual hurt but never let them add up to a conclusion about the relationship.
▪️ The Shame That Holds the Blindness in Place — Why being treated badly doesn't register as wrong when part of you believes you deserve it, and what has to come first.
▪️ Attachment Blindness — How the attachment system you built to survive your family becomes the lens you see every relationship through, and why it looks for what it expects instead of what is actually there.
▪️ 3 Ways You See Harm That Isn't There — How transference, black and white thinking and emotional reasoning each turn a feeling into a conclusion about somebody.
▪️ The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy — How the way you see someone shapes how you treat them, how that shapes the way they respond, and why you take their response as proof you were right all along.
-----------------------
⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community
6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection
👉 theshitshow.mn.co

🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION
Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.
➡️ Join here

💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD
☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat
🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch

💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA
Instagram → @adultchildpod
TikTok → @adultchildpod
YouTube → @adultchildpod

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community
6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection
👉 theshitshow.mn.co

🥩 Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a $35 off: https://www.omahasteaks.com

🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION
Get the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.
➡️ Join here

💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD
☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat
🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch

💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREA
Instagram → @adultchildpod
TikTok → @adultchildpod
YouTube → @adultchildpod

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy