Building a Marriage Team
In early recovery, survival is the focus. But what does it look like for couples who’ve done the foundational healing work to move beyond crisis and start rebuilding true partnership?
In this powerful and relatable episode, we sit down with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, a couple who have lived through the depths of betrayal trauma and are now guiding others in later-stage recovery. Together, we explore what healthy partnership looks like after the secrets, lies, and trauma are out in the open—and when safety, sobriety, and honesty are becoming consistent.
We dig into the real dynamics of post-trauma cooperation vs. competition, compliance, and conflict avoidance. The Raabsmiths share personal stories and practical tools that couples can use to rebuild trust and co-create a shared life vision.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:⏳ [02:30] – The essential recovery foundations that must be in place before true partnership is possible⏳ [04:00] – Why couples often fall into competition or compliance, and how it erodes intimacy⏳ [07:00] – How to recognize covert power struggles and replace them with cooperative communication⏳ [09:30] – The hidden dangers of “polite compromise” and why it’s not the same as collaboration⏳ [20:20] – Using values and emotions to rebuild a shared vision after betrayal⏳ [22:45] – How individual healing (therapy, support groups, boundaries) is an act of relational care⏳ [32:00] – What shared responsibility and honest self-expression look like in real-time partnership
If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review—we’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey!
🎁 Download My Free Course: First Steps to Rebuilding Trust If you’re navigating broken trust in your relationship, whether you’re the one who broke it or you’ve been deeply impacted by it, this free video course can help.
📋Join me in the Courageous Together™ Program If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get:
✅ A structured healing roadmap✅ Live Q&A sessions with me✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets✅ Confidential and secure access
Let’s Stay Connected:🌍Website 📩Subscribe to My Email List 📍Instagram🪧Facebook🎙️Listen to More Podcast Episodes
About Geoff Steurer:I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.
About Jody Steurer:Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski.
About Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith:Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are clinicians, speakers, and authors with over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Their mission is to help couples navigate the complexities of relational challenges, particularly in the aftermath of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, fostering deep restoration and growth.
Matthew is a Professional Certified Coach through the International Coaching Federation (ICF) with a background in pastoral leadership, while Joanna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR practitioner, and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist through APSATS. Both hold Master of Divinity degrees and have served together on multiple church leadership teams. Currently, they co-lead their private practice, The Raabsmith Team, where they specialize in helping couples rebuild connection, trust, and intimacy.
Their passion for this work stems from their own journey of restoration. After experiencing the devastating effects of sexual addiction and betrayal in their marriage, Matthew and Joanna embarked on a years-long pursuit of reconciliation. This transformative experience led to the creation of tools like The Intimacy Pyramid™️, a practical model for relational restoration and growth co-created with colleague Dan Drake.
Their first book, Building True Intimacy (2023), has sold over 1,000 copies and provides practical guidance for couples to use the Intimacy Pyramid to create enduring connections. They also founded Renewing Us Recovery™️, a comprehensive program designed to support couples in the later stages of relational restoration. In November 2025, they will host the inaugural Renewing Us Couples Retreat, offering workshops and connection opportunities for couples on similar paths of recovery and growth.
Matthew and Joanna live in Memphis, Tennessee, with their three young children. They prioritize self-care through shared adventures, new experiences, and a weekly game of pickleball.
http://www.raabsmithteam.com/free
The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.
Episode 296
New Zealand