How To Have Sex

Congratulations, you got the kids to sleep! Now lock the door.... this episode is just getting started.
Jay-Jay Feeney and certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes sit down for one of the most requested topics yet: how to actually have a sex life once you've got kids. Melissa is three months postpartum with her second baby and deep in the newborn trenches, so this one's personal, honest, and refreshingly unfiltered.
Together they unpack why parenthood doesn't kill your libido so much as it completely rewires it. From spontaneous desire to something Melissa calls "responsive desire," and from candlelit dates to a stolen 90 seconds between nappy changes.

In this episode:

Why "need-driven touch" (hello, breastfeeding) can leave you touched out and not exactly craving more contact from your partner
Spontaneous vs. responsive desire, and why waiting to "feel horny" first might be the whole problem
"Chore Play": how unloading the dishwasher can genuinely be foreplay
Melissa's raw, three-months-postpartum update on her own body, libido, and relationship
Why exhaustion, not lack of attraction, is public enemy number one for parents' sex lives
The gentle way she and her husband reconnected physically after birth, with zero pressure
The "sex menu": a 5-minute, 10-minute and 30-minute system for intimacy on the busiest nights
Getting your privacy back (a lock on the door is doing more heavy lifting than you'd think)
"Sexual currency" - the small everyday moments that quietly build (or kill) desire
Why obligatory sex causes more long-term damage than just... not having sex
The weekly relationship check-in that keeps resentment from creeping in

Whether you're in the newborn haze, wrangling a toddler, or years into parenting and just want your spark back, consider this your permission slip to stop chasing your old sex life and start building a new one that actually fits this season.

Next week: How to Have Mind-Blowing Group Sex 👀

How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.


JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex

How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz

HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney

Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes

Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school








Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mel is back in the saddle (well, the bed) after maternity leave, and she and Jay-Jay are diving straight into one of the most requested topics on the show: casual sex. Not the drunk, regretful, "what happened last night" kind; the confident, consensual, genuinely great kind.
This week they cover where to actually meet people now that everyone's exhausted by dating apps, why the word "slut" deserves a serious rebrand, and the very real hormonal reason women tend to catch feelings faster after a good hookup (sorry, it's science).
There's also the truth about STIs in retirement villages (yes, really), what to pack for a one-night stand, and Mel's confession about the "Caribbean man" fantasy that absolutely did not go to plan.
Funny, filthy in the best way, and genuinely useful.

How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.


JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex

How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz

HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney

Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes

Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Think you've never had an internal orgasm... or wondering if you're even capable of one? This week Jay-Jay and Mel are getting very hands-on (literally) with everything you need to know about internal, G-spot and cervical orgasms.
Mel breaks down why internal orgasms feel so different from clitoral ones, why they're harder to access, and why almost every woman has the anatomy to experience one (it's a skill you can learn, not a lottery you either win or lose).
They map out the G-spot, the A-spot, the cervix and a couple of letters you've probably never heard of, bust the myth that it's all about "technique," and share the embarrassing, awkward, and occasionally accidental stories of their own first orgasms (bike-related and otherwise).
Expect real talk on arousal and engorgement, why rushing straight to penetration rarely works, the "come here" motion everyone's Googling, breathwork, pelvic floor tricks, and a step-by-step game plan you can try tonight - solo or with a partner.

New episodes every week. Class is officially in session.

How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.


JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex

How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz

HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney

Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes

Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school







Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Been a while? No judgment here. Dust off the cobwebs, we've got you. This week Jay-Jay and Mel are talking dry spells: what actually counts as one, why they happen even in happy relationships, and how to come back from one without the pressure of "perfect" sex.

We bust the myth about your vagina supposedly "closing up" after a few dry years, unpack why going straight from zero to hero is a bad idea, and get into vaginismus, pelvic floor health, and why penetration might be the last thing you want to put back on the table. Then things get really interesting with a deep dive into body workers and internal mapping … Jay-Jay needed convincing this was a real job.

There's also a very relatable tangent about trying to reconnect with your partner while the dog watches from the end of the bed, plus practical tools: sexual currency, breathwork, self-pleasure as a way back in, and the exact question to ask a partner who's gone quiet on sex.

Whether you're single and out of practice or years deep in a relationship drift, this one's for you.

How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.


This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HTHS for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.

JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex

How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz

HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney

Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes

Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school





Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ever been genuinely attracted to someone and still felt... nothing? Or found a candle way more arousing than anything actually sexual? This week Jay-Jay and Mel dig into the real psychology of arousal: what turns you on, why it's not as simple as "just get in the mood," and how to figure out your own erotic blueprint.

Mel introduces the erotic mind map, a tool she uses with her one-on-one clients, and puts Jay-Jay through it live on the mic. What starts as a laugh turns into a surprisingly honest conversation about connection, desire, exhibitionism, and a confession involving a romantic liason on a golf course!

You'll learn the difference between liking a sex act and actually feeling turned on, how porn and pop culture shape what we think should arouse us, and a simple brakes and accelerators exercise you can try tonight.

Plus: a Wild Secrets giveaway!

How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.


This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HTHS for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.

JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex

How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz

HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney

Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes

Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school





Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.