Episode 68 - Why Smart Women Overgive: Healing Your Relationship Patterns with Clinical Psychologist Phoebe Rogers
Have you ever realised that you’ve grown and evolved… but your relationship patterns haven’t quite caught up?
Maybe you’re confident, capable, and the go-to person in every other area of your life - yet in relationships you still find yourself over giving, second-guessing your needs, or slipping into old habits that no longer feel like you.
If that sounds familiar, this episode will land deeply.
This week, I’m joined by Clinical Psychologist and Couples Counsellor Phoebe Rogers, Founder of The Relationship Space, whose work is changing the way women understand love, attachment, emotional safety, and self-worth.
Phoebe once lived the same patterns so many smart women do - emotional burnout, self-abandonment, choosing partners who couldn’t meet her, and feeling confused about why love felt harder than it needed to. Everything shifted for her when she discovered attachment theory, Schema Therapy, and Inner Child work - approaches that helped her break old cycles and finally choose secure, steady, emotionally available love.
What I adore about this conversation is that it’s not just for women dating or looking for love. It’s for anyone who wants healthier, more connected, more emotionally reciprocal relationships - including the one they have with themselves.
Even after nearly 25 years of marriage, I learned so much about my own patterns, my own instincts, and the subtle ways we silence ourselves in order to keep the peace. I know you will too.
Key Episode Takeaways:
Why women overgive - and how to stop abandoning yourself. Phoebe explains why so many women slip into the role of giver, fixer, or emotional anchor - and how to shift into healthier, more reciprocal patterns.
How Schema Therapy reveals the beliefs driving your relationship habits and understanding them changes everything - not just romantically, but across friendships, family and work.
Your wounded child: the part of you that still needs reassurance and safety, Phoebe shares powerful insights into how to connect with and soothe the younger part of yourself that’s driving your biggest fears and reactions.
The power of listening to yourself, from intuition to boundaries.
About the Guest:
Phoebe Rogers is a Clinical Psychologist and Couples Counsellor specialising in dating and relationships, and is the Founder of The Relationship Space. She once struggled to find a healthy relationship, and kept repeating patterns of emotional burnout and self-abandonment; after discovering attachment theory, Schema Therapy and Inner Child work she was able to break free of unhelpful relationship patterns and find love- firstly with herself, and then with a partner. She now helps other women choose emotionally available, secure love, by understanding their patterns, healing past wounds, and choosing differently. She helps women develop self-trust in dating, to communicate their needs without fear, and choose the love they deserve. Phoebe is sought out for her compassionate, direct, and integrative approach, using Schema Therapy, and good old-fashioned pragmatic advice. She also runs an online group for women who want healthy relationships.
Show Resources:
Follow Phoebe on Instagram - HERE
Connect with Phoebe on Facebook - HERE
Learn More About Phoebe's Book, When Will It Happen For Me - HERE
Follow Emma, the Podcast Host on Instagram - HERE
Learn More About Emma's 1:1 Coaching - HERE
Book a Complimentary 30-Minute Call with Emma - HERE
If you LOVED this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag @emmalagerlow and @therelationshipspace - I genuinely love seeing your insights and ah-ha moments.
Yours in Love, Emma. X.
New Zealand