The BPD Bunch

Have you ever known that isolating was making you feel worse and still felt like being around people was almost unbearable?
In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Raf, Mo, Céline and Madhurima talk about what has actually helped them manage depression and depressive spirals associated with BPD, including the parts that sound simple on paper and can feel incredibly difficult when you’re in them.
They get especially honest about opposite action: leaving the house when you want to hide, reaching out when shame tells you you’re a burden, taking care of your body when everything feels pointless, and learning when “rest” has quietly turned into avoidance. They also discuss self-esteem, hopelessness, sleep, substance use, emotional avoidance, asking for help, and why small changes can matter more than one dramatic breakthrough.
If you’ve ever thought, “I know what I’m supposed to do. I just cannot make myself do it right now,” this conversation is for you.
_____This season, we’re discussing BPD through the lens of the Alternative Model of Personality Disorders (AMPD). To meet criteria for BPD in this model, a person must have difficulties in at least two areas of personality functioning (Criterion A): identity, self direction, empathy, or intimacy, along with four or more pathological personality traits (Criterion B): emotional lability, anxiousness, separation insecurity, and depressivity (which are sub-traits of negative affectivity), impulsivity and risk taking (sub-traits of disinhibition), and hostility (a sub-trait of antagonism).In the first two episodes of the season, Dr. Carla Sharp, Dr. Frank Yeomans, and Dr. Alex Stein explain what the AMPD is, how it changes from the current categorical model, and how the BPD diagnosis is changing. In case you missed it, here are the links:Watch part 1 hereWatch part 2 here___🔗 Support us on Patreon________About Us: The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!________Disclaimer:This video is for education only and is not meant to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Have you ever tried DBT, decided it didn’t work for you, and wondered whether you were the problem?
In this episode of The BPD Bunch Brunch, Xannie and Melanie sit down with DBT experts Dr. Shireen Rizvi and Dr. Jesse Finkelstein to talk about what happens between learning a DBT skill and actually being able to use it when everything is falling apart.
The conversation gets into some harder questions too: Why do some people with BPD experience DBT as invalidating? What if your therapist says they “do DBT,” but the treatment looks nothing like adherent DBT? Can a client actually fail DBT? And how do you know when treatment itself needs to change?
They also discuss what DBT looks like beyond worksheets and coping skills, the tension between accepting yourself and changing your behavior, and what it actually means to build a life worth living.
If you’ve ever thought, “I tried DBT and it didn’t work for me,” this conversation may help you ask a different question: What kind of DBT did I actually receive?

Links/info:
Real Skills for Real Life:
Shireen and Jesse are also the authors of Real Skills for Real Life, a new guide designed to make DBT skills easier to understand, practice, and actually use in everyday life.
The book stays true to the DBT model and research while using illustrations, graphics, and step-by-step explanations to make complicated concepts more accessible. Whether you’re learning DBT for the first time, currently in treatment, or looking for a refresher on skills you’ve already learned, Real Skills for Real Life is designed to help bridge the gap between knowing a skill and putting it into practice.

The DBT-RU Cartoons YouTube Channel

Dr. Shireen Rizvi is a licensed clinical psychologist, board certified in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). She obtained her BA from Wesleyan University and her MS and PhD from the University of Washington. At the University of Washington, her mentor was Dr. Marsha Linehan, the developer of DBT. Over the past 25 years, Shireen has conducted research and training in DBT which has resulted in more than 100 peer-reviewed publications and book chapters. From 2009-2014, Shireen was Professor of Clinical Psychology at the Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology (GSAPP) at Rutgers University. She currently serves at Director of Psychology Training and Director of DBT Services and Research at Montefiore Einstein in New York City.
Visit shireenrizvi.com to find many free resources related to DBT.

Dr. Jesse Finkelstein is a licensed clinical psychologist and Linehan Board–certified clinician in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). He obtained his BA from Brown University and his PsyD from the Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology at Rutgers University. Dr. Finkelstein completed his predoctoral internship at Montefiore Medical Center and his postdoctoral fellowship at Columbia University Irving Medical Center, where he later served as an Instructor in Clinical Psychology. His clinical work focuses on evidence-based treatments including DBT, CBT, ACT, and exposure-based therapies for individuals struggling with emotion dysregulation, anxiety, trauma, and relationship difficulties.He is the co-founder of Therahive, where he develops accessible, skills-based psychoeducation grounded in evidence-based practices. He is also the founder of Axis Psychology, a private practice in New York City. 
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🌟 Love what we do? Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference!
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Disclaimer:
Although several of our panelists work in the mental health field, we are all coming to you as people in functional recovery from BPD, and are not here to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Have you ever been so used to feeling awful that you genuinely thought you were fine?
In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie Raf, Mo, Céline, and Madhurima sit down to talk about depressivity in borderline personality disorder (BPD), including the experiences they didn’t always recognize as depression at the time.
They talk about feeling completely numb while somehow still being in unbearable emotional pain, partying and using substances to avoid being alone with their thoughts, staying in bed for weeks, intense self-neglect, believing they were fundamentally worthless, and even convincing themselves that people only liked them because they had somehow “tricked” them. They also explore why depression sometimes became more obvious once the louder BPD behaviors began to quiet down.
In this episode:
* BPD and depression
* BPD depressivity
* Feeling empty or numb with BPD
* Shame, worthlessness and self-hatred
* Quiet BPD and internalized depression
* Reckless behavior and substance use
* Suicidal thoughts and hopelessness
* BPD recovery and recognizing emotions
If you’ve ever looked functional from the outside while privately wondering how much longer you could keep doing this, you may recognize yourself in this conversation.
This season, we’re discussing BPD through the lens of the Alternative Model of Personality Disorders (AMPD). To meet criteria for BPD in this model, a person must have difficulties in at least two areas of personality functioning (Criterion A): identity, self direction, empathy, or intimacy, along with four or more pathological personality traits (Criterion B): emotional lability, anxiousness, separation insecurity, and depressivity (which are sub-traits of negative affectivity), impulsivity and risk taking (sub-traits of disinhibition), and hostility (a sub-trait of antagonism).In the first two episodes of the season, Dr. Carla Sharp, Dr. Frank Yeomans, and Dr. Alex Stein explain what the AMPD is, how it changes from the current categorical model, and how the BPD diagnosis is changing. In case you missed it, here are the links:Watch part 1 hereWatch part 2 here___🌟 Love what we do? Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference! 🌈✨ 🔗 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch ________About Us: The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!________Disclaimer:This video is for education only and is not meant to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Have you ever run away hoping someone would follow, panicked when plans changed, or treated someone needing space like proof they were about to leave?
Xannie, André, Georgette, Carys, Katja, and Justin share what actually helped them manage fear of abandonment and separation insecurity in BPD. They talk about relationship testing, canceled plans, reassurance, friendship jealousy, losing themselves inside other people, and the difference between feeling abandoned and actually being abandoned.
They also discuss the less glamorous parts of getting better: asking partners not to reinforce unhealthy behavior, building an identity outside a relationship, tolerating separation, checking the facts, coping ahead, and accepting losses that cannot be changed.
Topics include:
* BPD and fear of abandonment
* Separation anxiety in relationships
* Testing partners and running away
* Reassurance seeking and canceled plans
* Losing your identity in relationships
* Friendship jealousy and fear of being replaced
* DBT check the facts and radical acceptance
* Recovering from BPD relationship behaviors

If a delayed reply, canceled plan, or one person needing space can make your entire relationship feel endangered, this conversation will probably feel painfully familiar.This season, we’re discussing BPD through the lens of the Alternative Model of Personality Disorders (AMPD). To meet criteria for BPD in this model, a person must have difficulties in at least two areas of personality functioning (Criterion A): identity, self direction, empathy, or intimacy, along with four or more pathological personality traits (Criterion B): emotional lability, anxiousness, separation insecurity, and depressivity (which are sub-traits of negative affectivity), impulsivity and risk taking (sub-traits of disinhibition), and hostility (a sub-trait of antagonism).In the first two episodes of the season, Dr. Carla Sharp, Dr. Frank Yeomans, and Dr. Alex Stein explain what the AMPD is, how it changes from the current categorical model, and how the BPD diagnosis is changing. In case you missed it, here are the links:Watch part 1 hereWatch part 2 here___🌟 Love what we do? Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference! 🌈✨ 🔗 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch ________About Us: The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!________Disclaimer:This video is for education only and is not meant to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Have you ever been so afraid of losing someone that you monitored every change in their behavior, panicked when they spent time with someone else, or pushed them away before they could replace you?In this episode, Xannie, Georgette, Carys, Katja, André, and Justin to talk about separation insecurity and fear of abandonment in BPD. They share what it was like when another person felt necessary for emotional survival, including obsessive reassurance seeking, leaving relationships first, trying to control a partner’s behavior, and losing their sense of identity outside the relationship.The group also confronts some of the harder truths about these experiences: when desperate attempts to keep someone close become manipulative or frightening, why love can become tangled with primal fear, and how old losses can make every new relationship feel like another abandonment waiting to happen.Topics include:* BPD and fear of abandonment* Separation anxiety in relationships* Fear of being replaced* Relationship obsession and emotional dependence* Favorite person attachment* Pushing people away before they leave* Manipulative behavior and abandonment panic* Losing your identity in a relationshipIf you’ve ever panicked when someone took too long to reply, assumed another person would replace you, or left first because waiting to be abandoned felt unbearable, this episode is for you.This season, we’re discussing BPD through the lens of the Alternative Model of Personality Disorders (AMPD). To meet criteria for BPD in this model, a person must have difficulties in at least two areas of personality functioning (Criterion A): identity, self direction, empathy, or intimacy, along with four or more pathological personality traits (Criterion B): emotional lability, anxiousness, separation insecurity, and depressivity (which are sub-traits of negative affectivity), impulsivity and risk taking (sub-traits of disinhibition), and hostility (a sub-trait of antagonism).In the first two episodes of the season, Dr. Carla Sharp, Dr. Frank Yeomans, and Dr. Alex Stein explain what the AMPD is, how it changes from the current categorical model, and how the BPD diagnosis is changing. In case you missed it, here are the links:Watch part 1 hereWatch part 2 here___🌟 Love what we do? Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference! 🌈✨ 🔗 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch ________About Us: The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!________Disclaimer:This video is for education only and is not meant to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.