Feel Better

You’re playing small. And if you’re honest… you already know it.

In this episode of The Feel Better Podcast, I sit down with Georgia from George Design to talk about what it really takes to stop holding yourself back and start backing yourself.

Georgia is the founder of George Design, working with businesses to clarify their brand, grow their visibility, and make smarter, braver decisions. You can find her at georgedesign.co.nz.

This is a conversation for the woman who:
​knows she’s capable of more
​has ideas she’s not acting on
​keeps waiting until she feels “ready”

We get into:
​why women underestimate themselves by years
​how to make bold decisions without certainty
​the mental load of trying to do everything “right”
​building a business alongside motherhood
​handling judgment, criticism, and other people’s opinions
​what actually moves the needle when growing something

And the shift that changes everything:
👉 stop asking what if it fails?👉 start asking what if it works?

Because staying where you are? That’s a decision too.

If you’ve been hesitating, overthinking, or quietly playing smaller than you know you could… this episode will call you forward.

You’re the one who gets it done. The capable one. The reliable one. The strong one.
But what if that version of youis quietly costing you more than you realise?
In this episode, we’re unpacking hyper-independencethe pattern that looks like strength… but is often driven by fear, control, and past experiences.
If you:
​find it hard to ask for help
​feel like it’s easier to just do it yourself
​get frustrated when others don’t step up
​struggle to switch off or truly rest
​feel secretly overwhelmed, disconnected, or resentful
this episode will hit close to home.

We explore:
​what hyper-independence actually is (and why it’s not just your personality)
​how trauma and life experiences shape this pattern
​the hidden cost most people don’t see until later
​why it blocks connection, support, and ease
​simple, practical ways to start letting people in

Because the goal isn’t to become dependent. It’s to become someone who can be capable and supported.
You don’t have to hold everything on your own.

If this resonates, share it with someone who needs to hear itand hit follow so you don’t miss future episodes.

You can love your kids deeply… and still feel like you’ve lost yourself.
HannaH Findlay is a Mum who has inspired many others with the beauty she has found in pulling herself through some of the toughest parts of becoming a parent. We talk about what happens to your identity in motherhood.
The version where your body changes.
Your mental health takes a hit.
Your interests disappear.
And one day you realise… you don’t actually know what you like anymore.
We talk about:
why so many women feel lost after having kids
the mental load and “holding your breath all day” feeling
how anxiety and overwhelm shrink your capacity to even know what you enjoy
the pressure to live entirely for your children (and why that doesn’t work)
what it actually takes to start finding yourself again
This isn’t about reinventing your life overnight.
It’s about starting small.
Planting something (literally, for her!)
Trying something.
Letting it be messy and unfinished.
Because no one is coming to save you.
But you can build your way back to yourself.
If you’ve ever thought,
“I don’t know who I am anymore”
this episode will meet you there.
And gently show you a way forward.
HannaH and her husband Brent have a fantastic business called Mortgage Mates - mortgage advisors who feel like friends. If you need some great people on your side, check them out at mortgagemates.co.nz

You want more connection. They don’t.
And now you’re stuck in that quiet, painful in-between…
where you’re in a relationship, but still feeling alone.
In this Ask Charlotte episode, I’m unpacking one of the most common (and confronting) dynamics I see in counselling:
when one partner wants emotional connection, depth, and intimacy… and the other just doesn’t meet them there.
We’re talking about:
why this happens (and what’s actually underneath it)

the difference between a skill gap vs a willingness gap

how to communicate your need for connection without pushing them further away

what might be blocking your partner from showing up emotionally

how love languages can both help and confuse things

and the hard truth… when this becomes a dealbreaker

Because here’s the thing most people won’t say out loud:
you don’t have to stay in a relationship that consistently feels disconnected.
But before you make big decisions, there are things you can try.
This episode will help you get clearer on what’s really going on in your relationship,
what’s possible to change,
and what you actually need moving forward.
If you’ve ever thought:
“Why do I feel so alone when I’m not single?”
this one is for you.

🎧 And if you’re looking for a practical next step, my course Give Me 10 Minutes is designed for exactly this.
Short, guided audio sessions to help you both rebuild connection without having to fit in traditional therapy.

Many of us believe that being tough on ourselves is the way to change.
We think that if we criticise ourselves enough, push harder, or feel bad enough about our behaviour, we’ll finally become the person we want to be.
But in my experience as a counsellor, the opposite is true.
In this episode of the Feel Better Podcast, I’m talking about self-criticism and why it actually makes lasting change harder, not easier. I explain what happens in your brain when you shame or blame yourself and why that activates your threat response rather than the parts of your brain responsible for reflection, emotional regulation and problem solving.
Over the years I’ve worked with many people who try to beat themselves into change. They set goals, fall off track, and then pile on the self-criticism. But this pattern rarely leads to the kind of sustainable change people are hoping for.
Instead, I talk about a different approach. One that is grounded in self-acceptance, values and kinder self-talk, which research shows is far more effective for long-term behaviour change.
In this episode I’ll share:
• Why self-criticism activates your brain’s threat system
• Why shame and blame undermine lasting change
• The neuroscience behind self-compassion and motivation
• Three practical tools to interrupt self-critical thinking
• How to move toward change through your values
• How to tell yourself the kind but accurate story
If you’re stuck in the cycle of setting goals, falling off track and beating yourself up, this episode will help you understand why that happens and what to do differently.
Because real change doesn’t come from attacking yourself.
It comes from learning to work with yourself instead.
If you’d like support making meaningful changes in your life, you can find out more about Change Therapy, my new coaching-based approach to working with clients, at:
www.charlottecummings.nz
You can also connect with me on Instagram:
@charlottethecounsellor