Feel Better

If you struggle with overthinking, this episode is for you.
Maybe your brain replays conversations on a loop.
Maybe you catastrophise about the future.
Maybe decision-making feels exhausting because you’ve already run 47 scenarios in your head.

Overthinking is incredibly common. Research suggests up to 80% of our thoughts are negative and 95% are repetitive. That means most of us are swimming in the same mental loops on repeat.

In this episode, I break down:
• What overthinking actually is (and how it’s different from healthy reflection)
• The two main types: rumination and worry
• Why overthinking feels productive but actually reduces control
• The cognitive distortions driving it, including catastrophising, mind-reading, black and white thinking, and perfectionism
• Why overthinking is often about avoiding an “unbearable” feeling
• The nervous system patterns behind it
And most importantly, I give you practical strategies you can use immediately:
• The powerful question: “What now?”
• How to give your brain a container
• Why getting back into your body is essential
• How to use cognitive defusion from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
• Making good enough decisions instead of perfect ones
• Treating life like an experiment
• Building tolerance for uncertainty
• Replacing self-criticism with compassionate self-talk

If you’re tired of living in your head, if your thoughts feel loud and relentless, or if overthinking is impacting your sleep, relationships, or confidence, this episode will give you tools to interrupt the cycle.

You are bigger than your thoughts.
They don’t get to run the show.
For more resources, visit charlottecummings.nz
Come and connect with me on Instagram @charlottethecounsellor
If this episode helped you, please follow the podcast and share it with someone who needs it.

If you’re someone who keeps saying
“I’m just bad at boundaries” or
“I’m the kind of person who overworks”
this episode is for you.

In this Ask Charlotte episode, I’m answering a listener question about how to maintain work boundaries differently, especially when you’re high-functioning, committed, and genuinely care about doing a good job.

We unpack why willpower isn’t the answer, and why the stories you tell yourself about who you are might actually be keeping you stuck.

In this episode, I cover:
• Why fixed identity stories like “I’m just bad at boundaries” block change
• How to pre-decide work limits so you’re not relying on motivation at the end of a long day
• Practical ways to contain work overflow without letting it take over your life
• How to prepare pushbacks so boundaries don’t feel awkward or personal
• When overwork is actually a resourcing problem, not a you problem
• Why holding boundaries often feels uncomfortable and why that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong
• The confronting question of whether your personal life is inviting enough to pull you away from work
• How workaholism can be a trauma response and what to do if this pattern keeps repeating

If you’re burnt out, exhausted, or quietly worried that your work life is crowding out everything else, this episode will help you think differently and start doing things differently.

This is about building boundaries that are sustainable, realistic, and protective of the life you actually want to live.

Listen now on the Feel Better Podcast.

Hard conversations don’t ruin relationships.
Avoiding them does.
If you keep putting things off because you don’t want to rock the boat, this episode is for you.
In How to Have Hard Conversations Faster (Without Damaging Your Relationship), I unpack why even capable, high-functioning people struggle to raise difficult topics at home and how to do it in a way that actually builds connection.
Inside the episode:
• Why your brain treats hard conversations like a threat
• How avoidance quietly turns into resentment
• What to stop doing when you finally speak up
• How to raise one issue at a time without blowing things up
• The skills that make hard conversations safer, faster, and more productive
Being able to have difficult conversations is not a sign your relationship is failing.
It’s a sign it’s healthy.
🎧 Listen to Feel Better Ep 114 now.
And if this is something you want to work on together, share the episode with your partner and listen at the same time.

Self-care is one of your goals this year.
But when life gets busy, it’s the first thing you drop.

In this episode, I answer a listener question about how to plan self-care in a way that actually holds up in a full, demanding year.

If you already know this year is going to be busy with work pressure, family demands, deadlines or big goals, this episode will help you build self-care that supports you rather than disappearing when you need it most.

In this episode, I talk about:
• How to plan self-care for a busy schedule
• Why increased pressure requires increased self-care
• How to map high-pressure seasons across the year
• What to add when stress rises and what to take off your plate
• Why consistent, “boring” self-care works better than dramatic efforts
• How routines, rituals and pre-booking protect your wellbeing
• How accountability makes self-care more sustainable

This episode is about practical self-care for real life. The kind that supports emotional regulation, clearer thinking and burnout prevention when life is full.

If you don’t want self-care to be the thing you sacrifice in a busy year, this episode will help you create a plan that actually lasts.

🎙️ Ask Charlotte is part of the Feel Better Podcast, where I share practical tools for emotional wellbeing, resilience and living well under pressure.

High-performing people don’t need more motivation. They need safety.

In this episode, I’m joined by coach Cara Calvin to talk identity shifts, nervous system patterns, and why so many capable people freeze in the gap between where they are and where they want to be.

We cover:
Why rest can feel unsafe (and what to do about it)

Micro-actions that build momentum when you feel stuck

Lack mindset and the “I want to… but I can’t” trap

Leadership, burnout, and the cost of living in hustle mode

Systems that reduce chaos (shared calendars, weekly planning, morning routines)

How personal growth can pressure relationships, and how to bring your partner with you

If you’re a high-functioning person who looks fine on the outside but feels wired, tired, or numb on the inside, this episode will land.

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