The Psychology of Depression and Anxiety - Dr. Scott Eilers

Build a stronger, more connected relationship with Paired for 25% off a yearly plan plus a 7-day free trial.“The common denominator in all my failed relationships is me… so I must be the problem.”It sounds logical. It’s also massively biased.In this episod, I break down why that conclusion doesn’t hold up, the two other common denominators you’re ignoring (hint: people and a broken world), and the missing data point that changes everything: you don’t actually know your “relationship success rate” compared to anyone else—because you only see your failures, not theirs.I talk about:
why hurt is inevitable in real relationships
why repair is the real definition of “safe”
how confirmation bias and minimization distort your self-image
why a relationship ending ≠ a relationship “failing”
the “home runs vs at-bats” analogy that makes this click fast
If you’ve been using relationships as evidence that you’re unlovable or broken—this is a necessary reset.
If my podcast has helped, my new book, The Light Between the Leaves, goes even deeper
Next Steps:📩 Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly.
About me:
I know what it is to feel hopelessly stuck and worthless to the world in general. I also know what it is to live without those feelings. I’m both a Clinical Psychology specializing in treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, and a human who has spent more than a decade managing sever depression and anxiety.
Mental Health Coaching with me
Therapy with me (for people in Iowa)
Find me on YouTube
Resources
🪣 Get my free 5-day guide to reclaiming your time and energy despite mental health struggles.
😴 Dramatically improve your sleep in 2 steps with my new Sleep Workbook.
📖 My 1st book: For When Everything is Burning
Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.
But I do care.

Start the New Year off right and give your home the luxury it deserves, and make home the best part of life. Head to http://cozyearth.com/ and use my code DRSCOTT for up to 20% off. (or DRSCOTTBOGO for the pajama deal).
If your sleep is bad, your mental health has a ceiling—no matter how good your therapist is, how much insight you have, or what meds you’re on.
In this episode, I walk through my 10 highest-conviction sleep moves for 2026, including the #1 rule almost everyone gets backwards: your circadian rhythm is built on your wake-up time, not your bedtime.
You’ll learn how to:
lock in your wake time (even on weekends)

build a real wind-down routine (without “bedtime revenge procrastination”)

handle 2–4am awakenings the right way

set a caffeine cutoff that actually protects sleep quality

optimize comfort, darkness, temperature, and white noise

stop training your brain to treat your bed like an office

If you want better mood, better focus, and better impulse control, start here.

If my podcast has helped, my new book, The Light Between the Leaves, goes even deeper
Next Steps:📩 Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly.
About me:
I know what it is to feel hopelessly stuck and worthless to the world in general. I also know what it is to live without those feelings. I’m both a Clinical Psychology specializing in treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, and a human who has spent more than a decade managing sever depression and anxiety.
Mental Health Coaching with me
Therapy with me (for people in Iowa)
Find me on YouTube
Resources
🪣 Get my free 5-day guide to reclaiming your time and energy despite mental health struggles.
😴 Dramatically improve your sleep in 2 steps with my new Sleep Workbook.
📖 My 1st book: For When Everything is Burning
Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.
But I do care.

Build a stronger, more connected relationship with Paired for 25% off a yearly plan plus a 7-day free trial. @pairedapp 

Chronic depression can wreck relationships—friends, family, coworkers, and especially romantic partners. But I don’t believe it’s inevitable that you end up alone.In this video, I share the highest-conviction strategies I’ve learned (through a lot of trial and error) for building relationships that can survive depressive episodes—without turning your partner into your therapist or expecting people to read your mind.
You’ll learn:
Why disclosure matters (and how it protects your relationships)
What to say when you’re in an episode, not just “I have depression”
How depression creates a filter that distorts how you interpret people
Why relational anhedonia can make you feel detached from people you love
How to avoid making relationship decisions from a depressive state
Why appreciation of effort matters even when “nothing helps”
How prompts, reminders, and structure can keep connection alive
If you’re in the middle of a rough season: you’re not broken, and you’re not unlovable. Your brain is doing what depressed brains do. The goal is to build relationships that don’t collapse every time the weather changes.

If my podcast has helped, my new book, The Light Between the Leaves, goes even deeper
Next Steps:📩 Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly.
About me:
I know what it is to feel hopelessly stuck and worthless to the world in general. I also know what it is to live without those feelings. I’m both a Clinical Psychology specializing in treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, and a human who has spent more than a decade managing sever depression and anxiety.
Mental Health Coaching with me
Therapy with me (for people in Iowa)
Find me on YouTube
Resources
🪣 Get my free 5-day guide to reclaiming your time and energy despite mental health struggles.
😴 Dramatically improve your sleep in 2 steps with my new Sleep Workbook.
📖 My 1st book: For When Everything is Burning
Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.
But I do care.

Head to https://huel.yt.link/lEnX8Jo and & use SCOTT20 to get 20% off your first order of the High Protein Starter Kit!If you struggle with suicidal thoughts, you’ve probably asked the scariest question: “Which version of me is real?” In this video, I explain why suicidal ideation is not a character reveal—and how to tell the difference between intrusive thoughts, impulsive thoughts, and the deeper desire underneath both.We’ll talk about why suicidal thoughts often mean “I want the pain to stop” (not “I want to be dead”), how over-identifying with these thoughts makes them stronger, and the practical biological levers (sleep + nutrition) that can reduce intensity and frequency.
If my podcast has helped, my new book, The Light Between the Leaves, goes even deeper
Next Steps:📩 Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly.
About me:
I know what it is to feel hopelessly stuck and worthless to the world in general. I also know what it is to live without those feelings. I’m both a Clinical Psychology specializing in treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, and a human who has spent more than a decade managing sever depression and anxiety.
Mental Health Coaching with me
Therapy with me (for people in Iowa)
Find me on YouTube
Resources
🪣 Get my free 5-day guide to reclaiming your time and energy despite mental health struggles.
😴 Dramatically improve your sleep in 2 steps with my new Sleep Workbook.
📖 My 1st book: For When Everything is Burning
Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.
But I do care.

If my podcast has helped, my new book, The Light Between the Leaves, goes even deeper

2025 was one of the hardest years of my life—but it taught me lessons I wouldn’t have learned any other way. In this video, I break down the 14 most important insights that came from pain, mistakes, and hard-earned clarity—and how I’m applying them in 2026.This isn’t motivational fluff or “new year, new you” advice. It’s an honest reflection on emotional health, discipline, relationships, identity, and what actually leads to a life that feels sustainable.

Next Steps:📩 Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly.
About me:
I know what it is to feel hopelessly stuck and worthless to the world in general. I also know what it is to live without those feelings. I’m both a Clinical Psychology specializing in treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, and a human who has spent more than a decade managing sever depression and anxiety.
Mental Health Coaching with me
Therapy with me (for people in Iowa)
Find me on YouTube
Resources
🪣 Get my free 5-day guide to reclaiming your time and energy despite mental health struggles.
😴 Dramatically improve your sleep in 2 steps with my new Sleep Workbook.
📖 My 1st book: For When Everything is Burning
Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.
But I do care.