ADHD Mums

Jane McFadden
ADHD Mums
Latest episode

270 episodes

  • ADHD Mums

    When the Teacher Asks ‘What Can I Do to Help? But You Don’t Know What to Say

    22/04/2026 | 14 mins.
    If your child looks ‘fine’ at school… but falls apart the second they get home —
    this episode is for you.
    🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:
    What masking really looks like in a classroom setting
    Why ‘they’re fine at school’ can be deeply misleading
    The invisible work happening before the school day even starts
    Why internalising kids are often missed entirely
    What it costs to ‘look like you’re coping’ all day
    Why asking a child to self-advocate isn’t always realistic
    How anxiety builds when expectations aren’t predictable
    The difference between behaviour you can see… and effort you can’t
    Why some kids nod, smile… and completely miss instructions
    What actually reduces stress in the classroom (and what doesn’t)

    💭 This episode is for you if:
    Your child holds it together at school but unravels at home
    You’ve been told ‘we’re not seeing that here’
    Your child doesn’t speak up when they’re struggling
    You can see the effort they’re putting in — even if others can’t
    you’re trying to explain your child to the school and not being heard
    You feel stuck between what you see… and what they report

    📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:
    The School Complaint & Escalation Guide for Parents
    https://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/
    📬 Check out my Paid Resource on Schools:
    When School Looks Fine But Isn’t Understanding Burnout, Masking & School Can’t
    Making School Work: A Parent’s Guide to Neurodivergent Kids and the System
    School Advocacy Hub of Resources
    https://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/
    📬 Listener Questions & Community
    🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
    Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
    Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
    https://wa.me/61403457313
    ✍️ Ask a Listener Question
    https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
    👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
    For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
    https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
  • ADHD Mums

    When School Feels Too Much Too Early — Expectation Creep Explained

    20/04/2026 | 23 mins.
    If you’ve ever sat in a school meeting
    hearing what’s ‘expected’…
    and thought
    ‘this feels like too much… too early’ —
    this episode is for you.
    Because sometimes it’s not subtle.
    It’s that quiet moment where something doesn’t sit right…
    but you’re told it’s normal.
    In this episode, we unpack what’s really happening when school expectations keep creeping up — academically, behaviourally, socially — and why so many kids are being asked to meet standards that don’t actually match where they are.
    💭 This episode is for you if:
    – You’ve thought ‘this feels too much for their age’
    – Your child is struggling, but you know they’re capable
    – You’ve been told ‘this is just how school is now’
    – Your child is falling behind quickly and can’t catch up
    – You’re noticing stress, resistance, or shutdown around school
    – You’re questioning whether the system is actually the issue
    🎧 Related Episodes
    When School Becomes the Trauma – School Series
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/s2-ep2-school-series-when-school-becomes-the-trauma-what-no-one-tells-adhd-parents/
    Here’s the part most people don’t say out loud:
    If it feels too big…
    too fast…
    too much…
    that doesn’t automatically mean
    your child is the problem.
    Sometimes it means
    the expectations have moved
    and no one stopped
    to check
    who they were leaving behind.
    For more about Dr. Rebecca English
    https://www.qut.edu.au/about/our-people/academic-profiles/r.english
    📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:
    The School Choice Kit
    https://adhdmums.com.au/product/the-school-choice-kit/
    The School Complaint & Escalation Guide for Parents
    https://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/
    📬 Check out my Paid Resource on Schools:
    Making School Work – Parent Guide ($20)
    https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/
    School Advocacy Hub of Resources
    https://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/
    📬 Listener Questions & Community
    🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
    Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
    Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
    https://wa.me/61403457313
    ✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
    https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
    👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
    For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
    https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
  • ADHD Mums

    98. When You Say ‘Can We Talk’ — And It Blows Up Straight Away

    15/04/2026 | 9 mins.
    If you’ve ever said
    ‘can we just talk about something?’
    and it escalates
    before you’ve even said the thing —
    this episode is for you.
    Because it’s not the conversation
    that’s blowing up.
    It’s what happens
    in the seconds before it even starts.
    In this episode, we unpack that exact moment — the one where you’re trying to keep it calm, keep it small, keep it ‘not a big deal’…
    and somehow it still turns into tension, shutdown, or a full spiral.
    The urgency you feel to resolve it.
    The resistance you feel coming back.
    And how quickly that turns into
    ‘why do I make things like this?’
    🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:
    Why ‘can we talk?’ can trigger a reaction before anything is said
    What’s actually happening when one person moves in and the other pulls away
    The demand-withdraw pattern (and why it escalates so fast)
    Why urgency to resolve something doesn’t land as ‘small’ to the other person
    How unfinished conversations sit in your body all day
    Why it feels impossible to just ‘leave it’
    What happens when both people are trying to regulate — in opposite ways
    How effort builds with zero progress (and why that feels so heavy)
    Why this quickly turns into ‘I’m too much’ or ‘I make things hard’
    The difference between a communication problem… and a timing collision

    💭 This episode is for you if:
    You feel a strong need to resolve things straight away
    You struggle to leave conversations unfinished
    You’ve been told ‘not right now’ and felt it land hard
    You replay conversations that never even really happened
    You feel responsible for fixing the tension in relationships
    You’ve thought ‘why do I make things escalate?’

    🎁 Free Resource
    ADHD Self-Test
    https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-self-test/
    If you’ve ever wondered
    ‘why does this feel so intense for me?’
    this is a helpful place to start.
    🎧 Related Episodes
    Why You Keep Waking at 3am — And It’s Not Just Anxiety
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-26-why-you-keep-waking-at-3am-and-its-not-just-anxiety/
    Why You’re Bad at Asking for Help and What to Do Instead
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-18-quick-reset-why-youre-bad-at-asking-for-help-and-what-to-do-inste
    Why Self-Care Feels Like Another Task
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-22-quick-reset-why-self-care-feels-like-another-fcking-task/
  • ADHD Mums

    97. The Invisible Job: Being the One Who Holds Everything Together

    13/04/2026 | 15 mins.
    If you’ve ever stepped away for five minutes…
    come back…
    and everything has already escalated —
    this episode is for you.
    Because it’s not just the moment.
    It’s the feeling that if you’re not there…
    it doesn’t hold.
    And somehow
    you’ve become the thing
    that keeps everything from tipping over.
    In this episode, we unpack the invisible role so many ADHD mums carry — the one where you’re not just part of the family… you’re the one holding it together.
    The one who reads the room.
    Softens the tone.
    Finds the compromise.
    And slowly realises…
    nothing really runs without you.
    🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:
    What emotional labour actually looks like inside a family
    How you become the ‘regulation’ in the room without realising it
    Why things escalate faster when you step away (and what that creates)
    The difference between helping… and holding the entire system together
    How hypervigilance turns into a full-time role
    Why your nervous system never fully switches off
    What happens when everyone starts relying on you to stabilise things
    The hidden cost of always stepping in ‘because you can’
    Why burnout here isn’t about one moment — it’s repetition
    How this shifts from a behaviour… into an identity

    💭 This episode is for you if:
    You feel like you can’t fully leave, even when you leave
    Things escalate quickly when you’re not there
    You’re the one who smooths, translates, and fixes
    You feel responsible for how everyone interacts
    You’re exhausted, but can’t explain exactly why
    You’ve wondered ‘am I too much… or just too involved?’

    🎁 Free Resource
    ADHD Self-Test
    https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-self-test/
    If you’ve ever thought
    ‘why does everything seem to land on me?’
    this is a helpful place to start.
    🎧 Related Episodes
    Too Exhausted to Be the Parent You Want to Be
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/too-exhausted-to-be-the-parent-you-want-to-be
    Why You’re Bad at Asking for Help and What to Do Instead
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-18-quick-reset-why-youre-bad-at-asking-for-help-and-what-to-do-inste
    When You Can’t Relax Even When It’s Quiet
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/why-adhd-mums-cant-relax/
    Why Self-Care Feels Like Another Task
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-22-quick-reset-why-self-care-feels-like-another-fcking-task/
    📬 Listener Questions & Community
    🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
    Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
    Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
    https://wa.me/61403457313
    ✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
    https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
    👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
    For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
    https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
  • ADHD Mums

    96. When You Keep Starting the Same Thing — And It Never Gets Finished

    06/04/2026 | 14 mins.
    In this episode, we unpack the invisible load of trying to do something simple inside a day that won’t hold it. The interruptions, the split attention, the constant restarting — and how quickly that gets turned into ‘I’m the problem.’
    From the outside, it looks like nothing happened.
    But inside it?
    You were doing that one task
    over and over again.
    🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:
    Why ‘simple tasks’ don’t stay simple in real life
    What constant interruptions actually do to your brain
    How restarting a task repeatedly drains more than doing it once
    Why your brain doesn’t register effort — only completion
    The invisible load of managing kids, conflict, and tasks at the same time
    What happens when attention keeps getting split before anything finishes
    Why it feels like ‘I did nothing today’ when you were actually working all day
    How small tasks turn into identity stories like ‘I can’t follow through’
    The difference between a task not getting done… and never having the conditions to be done
    Why school holidays amplify this pattern

    💭 This episode is for you if:
    You start the same task multiple times and never finish it
    You feel exhausted but can’t point to what you actually completed
    You’ve thought ‘this shouldn’t be this hard’
    You manage kids, tasks, and emotions all at once
    You feel like you’re constantly behind, even on small things
    You’ve labelled yourself as disorganised or bad at follow-through

    🎁 Free Resource
    ADHD Self-Test
    https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-self-test/
    🎧 Related Episodes
    Too Exhausted to Be the Parent You Want to Be
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/too-exhausted-to-be-the-parent-you-want-to-be
    Why You’re Bad at Asking for Help and What to Do Instead
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-18-quick-reset-why-youre-bad-at-asking-for-help-and-what-to-do-inste
    📬 Listener Questions & Community
    🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
    Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
    Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
    https://wa.me/61403457313
    ✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
    https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
    👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
    For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
    https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

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About ADHD Mums

Being a mum is hard enough. Being a mum with ADHD — or raising neurodivergent kids is a whole different level. ADHD Mums is the unfiltered, science-meets-reality podcast hosted by Jane McFadden, educational neuroscientist, advocate, and mother of three. This isn’t another polished parenting show with 'ten easy tips.' It’s real stories, confessions we’re not supposed to say out loud, and the research that explains why so many of us are running on empty. Every week you’ll hear: 🎙️ Confessions — raw, anonymous truths from mums navigating rage, burnout, and survival. 🧠 Expert insights — from neuroscientists, clinicians, and policy leaders on ADHD, autism, and mental health. 💬 Advocacy in action — exposing ADHD medication shortages, NDIS red tape, and the hidden costs mothers carry. With over 1 million downloads already tuning in from across the world, the podcast has already influenced ADHD reforms in Australia, been featured in national media, and pushed politicians to answer the questions mothers are asking. If you’ve ever screamed in the car, forgotten every form until the night before, or wondered if you’re the only one falling apart — this podcast is your proof that you’re not broken, you’re just telling the truth.
Podcast website

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