ADHD Mums

In this episode, we unpack the very real (and very common) experience of showing up already stretched… masking it with humour… and then internalising the entire thing as a personality flaw.
The jokes land.
People laugh.
It looks like you’re coping.
But underneath it — something else is happening.
🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:
What’s actually happening when you default to self-deprecating humour
Why ‘being funny about it’ can be a form of real-time regulation
How overwhelm gets rewritten as ‘this is just who I am’
The hidden role of impression management in social situations
Why you leave interactions replaying everything you said
What ‘cognitive downplaying’ looks like in everyday life
How overcommitment + pressure turns into identity, not context
Why nothing changes when you minimise what’s actually too much
The moment it shifts from ‘this doesn’t work for me’ to ‘I am the problem’
What it looks like to move the pressure off you — and back onto the situation

💭 This episode is for you if:
You make jokes when you’re actually overwhelmed
You leave social situations thinking ‘I did it again’
You overcommit, then feel trapped in it
You replay what you said and cringe later
You’ve labelled yourself as ‘too much’, ‘chaotic’, or ‘bad at follow-through’
You feel like you have to manage how others see you

🎁 Free Resource
ADHD Self-Test
https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-self-test/
If you’ve ever thought
‘is this just my personality… or something else?’
this is a helpful place to start.
🎧 Related Episodes
No, I Can’t Meditate. I’m Too Busy Dissociating
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-47-quick-reset-no-i-cant-meditate-im-too-busy-disassociating/
Why You’re Bad at Asking for Help and What to Do Instead
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-18-quick-reset-why-youre-bad-at-asking-for-help-and-what-to-do-inste
.📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

If you’ve ever left a group chat
replaying everything you said…
and everything you didn’t…
and somehow landed on
‘that felt off… was that me?’
this episode is for you.
Because this isn’t just about group chats.
Or school committees.
Or awkward conversations that go nowhere.
It’s about what happens when everyone in the room
is solving a different problem…
and no one realises it.
In this episode, we unpack the kind of interaction that looks normal on the surface — calm, polite, ‘reasonable’ — but leaves you carrying it for hours (or days). The replaying, the second-guessing, the quiet shift into ‘I must have handled that wrong.’
And why that feeling doesn’t mean what you think it means.
🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:
Why some conversations go in circles and never actually resolve
What’s really happening when everyone sounds ‘right’ but nothing lands
How different brains track completely different things in the same conversation
Why tension builds even when no one is being openly confrontational
The moment a conversation stops being about the topic — and becomes about identity
Why you leave interactions with a version of yourself you didn’t walk in with
How group chats split into side conversations (and why that regulates people)
The hidden role of fairness, meaning, effort, and threat in communication
Why your brain keeps replaying it later — even when it’s ‘over’
What it actually means when something feels ‘off’ (and why that matters)

💭 This episode is for you if:
You replay conversations long after they’ve finished
You leave group chats feeling uncomfortable but can’t explain why
You’ve thought ‘did I make that worse?’
You pick up on tension that others seem to miss
You feel responsible for smoothing things over (even when you didn’t start it)
You carry interactions into your night, your drive, your quiet moments

🎁 Free Resource
ADHD Self-Test
https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-self-test/
If you’ve ever wondered
‘Why do I experience conversations like this?’
this is a helpful starting point.
🎧 Related Episodes
Why You Keep Waking at 3am — And It’s Not Just Anxiety
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-26-why-you-keep-waking-at-3am-and-its-not-just-anxiety/
Why You’re Bad at Asking for Help and What to Do Instead
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-18-quick-reset-why-youre-bad-at-asking-for-help-and-what-to-do-inste
Too Exhausted to Be the Parent You Want to Be
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/too-exhausted-to-be-the-parent-you-want-to-be

If you’ve removed the pressure…
stepped back…
even taken a break…
and you still feel on edge — this episode is for you.
Because this is the part no one explains.
When nothing is ‘wrong’ anymore…
but your body is still acting like it is.
In this episode, we unpack what happens when stress isn’t the thing driving your anxiety — and why removing the load doesn’t always create relief. If you’ve ever wondered ‘is this just who I am?’ this conversation will shift how you see it.
🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:
What it means when anxiety doesn’t go away after removing pressure
Why ‘just rest’ doesn’t work for everyone
The moment you realise it’s not the situation — it’s the pattern
How your nervous system can run rules that don’t match your current life
The difference between stress-based overwhelm and pattern-based overwhelm
Why unclear expectations quietly keep you in a constant state of alert
What ‘predictive patterns’ look like in real life (and why they stick)
Why insight alone doesn’t change how your body responds
What actually helps your system settle — and why it’s not what you think

💭 This episode is for you if:
You’ve reduced stress but still feel constantly ‘on’
You’ve wondered ‘why am I like this?’
Rest doesn’t seem to touch the feeling in your body
You feel worse when things are quiet, not better
You carry a constant mental load even when nothing urgent is happening
You feel immediate relief when things are clearly defined

🎁 Free Resource
ADHD Self-Test
https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-self-test/
If you’re sitting in that space of
‘is this anxiety… or something else?’
this is the clearest place to start.
🎧 Related Episodes
CONFESSIONS: Things I Can’t Say at the Playground
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-55-confessions-things-i-cant-say-at-the-playground/
Camouflaging ADHD & Autistic Traits in Girls (with Millie Carr)
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/replay-s1-episode-41-camouflaging-adhd-autistic-traits-in-girls-with-millie-carr-re-release/
📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

There’s a moment when you realise it’s not just a ‘bad term’ at school.
It’s mornings that feel impossible.
A child who won’t go.
Or can’t go.
And suddenly the question changes from
'how do we fix this?'
to
'where do we go now?'
WHAT WE COVER
– What actually happens when mainstream school stops working
– Why some children aren’t ‘failing school’ — the system is failing them
– The reality of alternative education (and the myths that scare parents)
– Why behaviour often looks worse before safety is built
– What smaller, relationship-based learning environments do differently
– How to know if an alternative pathway might be right for your child
– Why some kids return to mainstream — and some never should
WHY THIS EPISODE MATTERS
There’s a gap no one talks about.
Between
‘just try another school’
and
‘we can’t do this anymore’
And most parents fall straight into it
with no map.
This episode gives you language for that moment
and shows you what actually exists on the other side.
WHAT ALTERNATIVE EDUCATION ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE
Not a ‘last resort’.
Not a room full of ‘problem kids’.
But often:
– smaller class sizes
– built-in sensory supports (not earned, not restricted)
– flexible timetables
– relationship-first teaching
– success measured beyond academics
Where safety comes before compliance
and connection comes before curriculum.
WHAT PARENTS OFTEN DON’T GET TOLD
Alternative settings aren’t easier.
They’re different.
– Enrolment is often selective and thorough
– Not every child is the right fit for every setting
– There are waitlists
– And options are limited depending on location
But when it works
it can completely change a child’s trajectory.
THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF
– Your child is anxious, refusing, or shutting down at school
– You’ve tried multiple schools and nothing is improving
– You’ve been told ‘this is just how school is’
– You’re wondering if there are other pathways
– You’re scared of making the wrong call
🎧 RELATED EPISODES
When School Becomes the Trauma – School Series
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/s2-ep2-school-series-when-school-becomes-the-trauma-what-no-one-tells-adhd-parents/
The Great Gaslighting: When Schools Say ‘We Don’t See It’
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-7-school-series-the-great-gaslighting-when-schools-say-we-dont-see-it/
Camouflaging ADHD & Autistic Traits in Girls (with Millie Carr)
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/replay-s1-episode-41-camouflaging-adhd-autistic-traits-in-girls-with-millie-carr-re-release/
📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:
The School Complaint & Escalation Guide for Parents
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/
Quiet Exclusion Kit
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/quiet-exclusion-kit/
School Advocacy Hub of Resources
https://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/
📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

There is a moment at a family barbecue where your child isn’t sitting at the table.
They’re walking.
Talking.
Eating on the move.
And someone says it.
'We didn’t have this ADHD thing when we had kids.'
And just like that, it stops being about lunch
and starts feeling like it’s about you.
Because what sounds casual
lands like doubt.
WHAT WE COVER
– Why 'we didn’t have ADHD back then' still shows up in families
– What people see vs the invisible regulation work parents are doing
– Familiarity bias and why ADHD gets dismissed as 'normal'
– The concept of 'load blindness' in parenting
– Why ADHD is more visible now (not more common)
– How modern expectations make differences harder to hide
– Why not forcing the battle is sometimes the most regulated choice
THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF
– You’ve felt judged in everyday moments like meals or outings
– Someone has questioned your child’s ADHD
– You’re doing constant behind-the-scenes regulation work
– You’ve second-guessed yourself after family comments
– You’re trying to support your child without turning everything into a battle
EPISODES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Camouflaging ADHD & Autistic Traits in Girls (with Millie Carr)
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/replay-s1-episode-41-camouflaging-adhd-autistic-traits-in-girls-with-millie-carr-re-release/
CONFESSIONS: Things I Can’t Say at the Playground
https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-55-confessions-things-i-cant-say-at-the-playground/
WHAT THE RESEARCH TELLS US
ADHD hasn’t suddenly appeared.
One of the most cited global studies (175 studies analysed) shows prevalence has remained relatively stable — we’re just better at recognising it now.
https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/135/4/e994/33967/Prevalence-of-Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity
Australian data tells a similar story.
Children are entering school with a wider range of developmental profiles — particularly in communication and regulation.
https://www.aedc.gov.au/resources/detail/2021-aedc-national-report
This isn’t about kids being 'worse'.
It’s about environments, expectations and visibility.
HELPFUL LINKS
Free ADHD Resources
https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/
Advocacy Hub
https://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/