ADHD Mums

• 25. The Emotional Load of Raising Neurodivergent Girls and How to Lighten It

  What if the exhaustion you're carrying isn’t about your daughter’s needs — but about the systems stacked against her? In this fiercely honest conversation, Jane sits down with Katie Koullas, founder of Yellow Ladybugs, to unpack the invisible weight neurodivergent mums carry while raising autistic and ADHD girls. From masking to missed diagnoses, perfectionism to protection — this episode doesn’t shy away from the real stuff. It validates the hell out of the lived experience of raising girls who internalise everything and explode only when no one’s watching. Katie shares her experience as a mum, advocate, and changemaker, giving voice to the deep guilt, relentless fear, and raw love that shape this reality — and what she’s learned about lightening the emotional load without selling your soul in the process. 💡 What We Cover: • Why the emotional load isn’t about your daughter — it’s about the world she’s navigating• The heartbreak of watching your daughter mask to survive• The reality of invisible struggles in schools, friendships, and diagnosis• How society gaslights and minimises internalising neurodivergent girls• How mums can reframe guilt, lean into radical acceptance, and still model strength• What burnout looks like when you're carrying it all — and how to catch it before it knocks you out• How we actually start changing the systems (hint: stop waiting for the neurotypicals)• What Katie wishes every mum raising a neurodivergent daughter had access to 🔗 Resources & Links: Learn more about Yellow Ladybugs and register for the June conference: yellowladybugs.com.au Follow Katie and Yellow Ladybugs on Instagram Related episodes: When School Becomes the Trauma (S3E2) | Spotify | Apple Podcast Burnout Starts in the Classroom (S3E3) | Spotify | Apple Podcast RSD & Emotional Intensity (S2 Ep 81) | Spotify | Apple Podcast 🎧 Listen Now: If you’ve ever felt like you’re parenting in secret, constantly translating your daughter’s needs to people who just don’t get it — this is the episode you didn’t know you needed. Tune in, share it with another mum carrying too much, and remind yourself you’re not failing — you’re unsupported. JOIN THE COMMUNITY: Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format! FOLLOW FOR MORE: Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube LEAVE A REVIEW: Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together. COLLABS: For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected]. MORE RESOURCES: Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: ADHD masking, autistic girls, neurodivergent parenting, emotional burnout, ADHD and guilt, internalisers, invisible needs in school, Yellow Ladybugs, neuroaffirming support, autism diagnosis, teenage girls and shutdowns, parent burnout, sensory overload, radical acceptance parenting, co-regulation exhaustion, ADHD shame, internalised ableism, school system failure, masking and meltdown, ADHD mum support, ADHD podcast Australia, Katie Koullas, neurodivergent self-advocacy, changing the system as a mum.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 24.  QUICK RESET: The ADHD Myth of 'Just try Harder'

  If you’ve ever stood frozen in the kitchen, fully aware of what needs doing — and still couldn’t start — this episode is for you. This week’s Quick Reset tears apart the toxic myth that ADHD mums just need to “try harder.” Jane unpacks what’s actually happening when your brain stalls, and why shame, not laziness, is often the real culprit. From inner critics echoing old failures to the neuroscience behind executive dysfunction, this is a raw, validating, and darkly funny call to stop blaming effort — and start working with your brain instead. You’ll learn practical, low-pressure strategies to get started (no, not with a new app), and finally understand why “just do it” advice doesn’t just fail ADHD mums — it hurts us. ✨ IN THIS RESET: The damaging myth of laziness and willpower How shame shuts down executive function Why ADHD is not about motivation — it’s about regulation What to say to yourself instead of “I just need to focus” Brain-based strategies for task initiation that actually help Real talk about fridge purchases, hyperfocus, and starting vs finishing Why “trying harder” never fixed burnout — and never will 💭 This episode is for you if:– You keep thinking, “I should be able to do this” — but can’t start– You’ve got planners, lists, and alarms… and still feel stuck– You want to stop spiralling into shame and start using strategies that work for your brain 🔗 Sources & Citations: Brown, T. E. (2006). Attention Deficit Disorder: The Unfocused Mind in Children and Adults. Yale University Press. Barkley, R. A., Murphy, K. R., & Fischer, M. (2006). The ADHD Report, 14(6), 6–11. Volkow, N. D., Wang, G.-J., Kollins, S. H., Wigal, T. L., Newcorn, J. H., Telang, F., ... & Swanson, J. M. (2011). “Motivation deficit in ADHD is associated with dysfunction of the dopamine reward pathway.” Molecular Psychiatry, 16(11), 1147–1154. Sonuga-Barke, E. J. S. (2005). “Causal models of ADHD: From common simple deficits to multiple developmental pathways.” Biological Psychiatry, 57(11), 1231–1238. 📚 Mentioned Resource: ADHD Planner & Personal Values Workbook — Designed to help you rebuild capacity, re-centre your day, and stop measuring your worth by productivity. Explore more ADHD-friendly resources: https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/ Other Quick Reset Episodes: S3E8 Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E10 Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E12 I can’t stop snapping when my child does this one thing: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E14 I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E15 He wants the Maldives but we can't even manage the park: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E16 No meds, No plan, and no help..... but yet they're still calling us undiagnosed: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E17 How we survive the 3- 6:00 PM shit show when kids are coming down off meds: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E18 Why you are bad at asking for help and what to do instead: Spotify | Apple Podcast S2E22 Why self-care feels like another fucking task: Spotify | Apple Podcast JOIN THE COMMUNITY: Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format! FOLLOW FOR MORE: Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube LEAVE A REVIEW: Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together. COLLABS: For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected]. MORE RESOURCES: Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here. TOPICS COVERED:ADHD executive dysfunction, task initiation, parenting with ADHD, emotional regulation, ADHD shame spiral, performance parenting, burnout, trauma-informed self-support, neuroaffirming strategies, inner critic, motivation myths, hyperfocus, late diagnosis, ADHD overwhelm, doing things differently, permission to rest.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 23. ADHD Meds Won’t Fix Everything – Now What?

  With special guest: Jayde Couldewell from Beyond the Bump If you thought finally getting a diagnosis and trying meds would be the end of your chaos — but you’re still overwhelmed, melting down, or yelling into the void — this one’s for you. In this raw, funny, and emotionally honest episode, Jane is joined by Jayde Couldewell to talk about what really happens after diagnosis. Spoiler: the meds help, but they’re not the whole story. Together, they unpack what comes next — from executive function and exercise, to morning meltdowns and postnatal rage, to finally being able to hear your own thoughts. Jayde shares the real-life before-and-after: what it took to make consistent change after starting meds, why boundaries mattered more than bubble baths, and how she learned to parent herself while parenting three kids. ✨ IN THIS RESET: Why ADHD meds are a powerful tool — but not a magic fix The grief and clarity that comes with late diagnosis How self-understanding created space for real change Building habits with ADHD (without making it a full-time job) Why it’s normal to need more than just one script The difference between the ‘old you’ and your real self underneath the chaos How to start small — and stay kind to yourself when it feels hard 💭 This episode is for you if: – You’re newly diagnosed and wondering what now?– You’re still waiting for the mythical “life-changing moment” after meds– You want to see how someone made it work — without toxic positivity or 5am bootcamps Follow Beyond the Bump Podcast on IG. 📥 Related Resources: • Free ADHD Medication Advocacy Guide • TGA Medication Shortage Portal 🎧 Related Episodes: S2E38 How ADHD medication revealed my Autistic traits | Spotify | Apple Podcast S2E39 Misdiagnosis in ADHD and Bipolar Disorder with Georgia Poletti-Moulds | Spotify | Apple Podcast S2E61 Unhealthy Habits & ADHD: Why We Get Stuck & How to Shift | Spotify | Apple Podcast S2E82 ADHD or PTSD? Why So Many Women Are Misdiagnosed with Amanda Moses | Spotify | Apple Podcast Beyond the Bump Episode 208: ADHD - is it mum overwhelm or could it be something more? Talking ADHD in women | Spotify | Apple Podcast JOIN THE COMMUNITY: Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format! FOLLOW FOR MORE: Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube LEAVE A REVIEW: Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together. COLLABS: For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected]. MORE RESOURCES: Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: ADHD diagnosis, stimulant medication, late-diagnosed women, executive dysfunction, self-care with ADHD, postnatal rage, parenting burnout, creating new routines, morning overwhelm, neurodivergent mums, co-regulation, antidepressants, sensory processing, shame recovery, trauma-informed support, adult ADHD, performance burnout, self-trust, ADHD and exercise, nervous system healing.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 22. QUICK RESET: Why self-care feels like another f*cking task

  If someone tells you to take a bubble bath one more time, you might scream. This Quick Reset is a no-filter, nervous-system-level rant for every ADHD mum who’s been told that a massage will fix her burnout. Jane unpacks why the whole self-care industry is fundamentally mismatched to neurodivergent mums — and how pretending we feel better after one ‘treat’ just leads to more shame, not recovery. From sensory overload and executive dysfunction to the rage of being handed a “Mother’s Day spa voucher” after 364 days of unpaid emotional labour, this episode calls out the delusion of performance rest — and offers honest alternatives that might actually increase your capacity to survive. ✨ IN THIS RESET: Why typical self-care advice feels like a slap in the face How ADHD brains struggle to “relax on command” The truth behind fake rest, survival mode, and executive dysfunction What to do when even the bath feels too hard How to find five-minute moments that actually help (without a full routine) A very real story about walking 50 metres to put the bins out — slowly 💭 This episode is for you if:– You’re drowning in responsibility and someone suggests yoga– You’ve tried rest but felt more resentful than rested– You want to stop surviving a system that breaks you, blames you, and offers a bubble bath as compensation References 📚Brown, T. E. (2013). A New Understanding of ADHD in Children and Adults: Executive Function Impairments. Routledge. 📚 *Price, D. (2021). Laziness Does Not Exist. Atria Books. 📚 Barkley, R. A. (2012). Executive Functions: What They Are, How They Work, and Why They Evolved. Guilford Press. Other Quick Reset Episodes: S3E8 Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E10 Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E12 I can’t stop snapping when my child does this one thing: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E14 I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E15 He wants the Maldives but we can't even manage the park: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E16 No meds, No plan, and no help..... but yet they're still calling us undiagnosed: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E17 How we survive the 3- 6:00 PM shit show when kids are coming down off meds: Spotify | Apple Podcast S3E18 Why you are bad at asking for help and what to do instead: Spotify | Apple Podcast 🔁 SHARE THIS RESET:If this one hit hard, send it to a mum friend who’s also stuck in survival mode. Let her know: she’s not broken, she’s bracing. Read the blog version of this episode: https://adhdmums.com.au/quick-reset-why-self-care-feels-like-another-fcking-task/ TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: ADHD mums, performance parenting, fake rest, executive dysfunction, parenting burnout, self-care shame, chronic dysregulation, ADHD and motherhood, cortisol overload, trauma-informed parenting, invisible load, overfunctioning, resentment cycle, Mother's Day rage, self-care myths, rest as survival, emotional labour, ADHD sensory processing, real recovery, neurodivergent rest.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 21. SCHOOL SERIES: The Future of Neurodivergent Education: What Needs to Change?

  If you've ever walked out of a school meeting wondering how it could all feel so wrong — this episode is for you. In the powerful final instalment of the ADHD Mums School Series, Jane is joined by neurodivergent educator Millie Carr to reimagine what school could be — if we stopped prioritising performance over people. Together, they unpack how traditional education models are burning out not only our kids, but also the parents, teachers, and professionals trying to hold it all together. From sensory trauma to compliance-driven behaviour plans, this episode explores the uncomfortable truth: our current system isn’t broken — it was built this way. But that doesn’t mean we can’t shift it. You’ll hear stories, systems critique, and practical frameworks for creating school environments that don’t just tolerate neurodivergence — but truly honour it. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: Why behaviour plans and positive reinforcement often fail neurodivergent kids The myth of “readiness” and why regulation must come before learning Trauma-aware, neuro-affirming practice — what it actually looks like Why ‘calm’ doesn’t mean regulated, and how masking is rewarded in school What schools misunderstand about sensory needs, social withdrawal, and shutdown How parents, teachers, and allied professionals can challenge the system together The role of leadership, training, and funding in making lasting change Why fixing school is about collective regulation, not individual resilience 💭 This episode is for you if:– You’ve had to choose between education and emotional safety– You’re tired of being told “they’re fine here” when your child is unraveling at home– You want to understand how schools could work — and what has to shift for that to happen Related Episodes with Millie Carr How to Tell Your Child About Their Diagnosis: Essential Do's and Don'ts. | Spotify | Apple Podcast Camouflaging ADHD and Autistic Traits in Girls | Spotify | Apple Podcast The Neurodiverse Classroom | Spotify | Apple Podcast SCHOOL SERIES: When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents | Spotify | Apple Podcast SCHOOL SERIES: Burnout Starts in the Classroom — And Follows Them Home | Spotify | Apple Podcast SCHOOL SERIES: The Great Gaslighting: When Schools Say We Don’t See It | Spotify | Apple Podcast SCHOOL SERIES -IEP Meetings Are Broken — Here’s What to Say Instead | Spotify | Apple Podcast SCHOOL SERIES: When School Stops Feeling Safe | Spotify | Apple Podcast SCHOOL SERIES: How to Choose a School That Won’t Break Your Kid (or You) | Spotify | Apple Podcast 📥 Related Resources:– The School Choice Kit: A neuro-affirming guide to help you choose a school that works for your child — not against them. Includes school tour scripts, red flag/green flag checklists, and practical planning tools.– Read the blog version of this episode HERE. 🔗 References & Resources from Millie Carr Frameworks & Programs: Berry Street Education ModelBerry Street Education Model – Learning and Resources Social Stencil (Neurodiversity-affirming social and emotional program)Social Stencil Website Mental Health Fund and Menu – VIC Department of Education(Schools can access mental health programs tailored to student needs; menu attached where available)Mental Health Menu Overview – VIC DET Universal Design for Learning (UDL) GuidelinesCAST UDL Guidelines 📚 Recommended Books: The Neurodiverse Classroom: A Teacher's Guide to Individual Learning Needs and How to Meet Themby Victoria HoneybourneAvailable on Amazon Creating Trauma-Informed, Strengths-Based Classroomsby Tom BrunzellAvailable on Booktopia Neurodiversity-Affirming Schools: Transforming Practices So All Students Feel Accepted and Supportedby Emily Kircher-MorrisAvailable on Booktopia The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mindby Dr Daniel J. Siegel and Dr Tina Payne BrysonAvailable on Amazon Need support navigating school chaos?Making School Work is your go-to advocacy guide for when your neurodivergent child isn’t coping — and the school says they’re fine. Packed with scripts, templates, and clarity for IEPs, school refusal, and shutdowns, it helps you hold your ground in the rooms that matter.Get it here: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/ Resources Mentioned: 🔗 To find out more about Millie Carr or purchase her books please click on her website or check out her IG 🔗 Sign our Change Petition here 🔗 Submit your experience with schooling here 🎧 Listener Questions please send here 🔗 Free Guides and Resources: https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/ Disability & Education Laws Referenced (Qld Human Rights Act, DSE 2005, UN CRPD) 👩‍⚖️ Human Rights Commission: humanrights.gov.au 📚 References & Further Reading Disability Standards for Education 2005Read via the Department of Education – Australian Government Disability Discrimination Act 1992View the full legislation on the Federal Register OIN THE COMMUNITY: Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format! FOLLOW FOR MORE: Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube LEAVE A REVIEW: Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together. COLLABS: For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at [email protected]. MORE RESOURCES: Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here. TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE: neurodivergent education, trauma-aware classrooms, ADHD school burnout, behaviour plans, masking at school, shutdown, school refusal, inclusive education, co-regulation, collective regulation, neuroaffirming schools, sensory trauma, educational reform, school trauma, emotional safety, invisible disability, parenting ADHD kids, advocating for change, leadership in education, teacher training.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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