ADHD Mums

Jane McFadden
ADHD Mums
Latest episode

263 episodes

  • ADHD Mums

    93. When You Remove the Stress — And Start Wondering What’s Wrong With You

    25/03/2026 | 9 mins.
    If you’ve removed the pressure…
    stepped back…
    even taken a break…
    and you still feel on edge — this episode is for you.
    Because this is the part no one explains.
    When nothing is ‘wrong’ anymore…
    but your body is still acting like it is.
    In this episode, we unpack what happens when stress isn’t the thing driving your anxiety — and why removing the load doesn’t always create relief. If you’ve ever wondered ‘is this just who I am?’ this conversation will shift how you see it.
    🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:
    What it means when anxiety doesn’t go away after removing pressure
    Why ‘just rest’ doesn’t work for everyone
    The moment you realise it’s not the situation — it’s the pattern
    How your nervous system can run rules that don’t match your current life
    The difference between stress-based overwhelm and pattern-based overwhelm
    Why unclear expectations quietly keep you in a constant state of alert
    What ‘predictive patterns’ look like in real life (and why they stick)
    Why insight alone doesn’t change how your body responds
    What actually helps your system settle — and why it’s not what you think

    💭 This episode is for you if:
    You’ve reduced stress but still feel constantly ‘on’
    You’ve wondered ‘why am I like this?’
    Rest doesn’t seem to touch the feeling in your body
    You feel worse when things are quiet, not better
    You carry a constant mental load even when nothing urgent is happening
    You feel immediate relief when things are clearly defined

    🎁 Free Resource
    ADHD Self-Test
    https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-self-test/
    If you’re sitting in that space of
    ‘is this anxiety… or something else?’
    this is the clearest place to start.
    🎧 Related Episodes
    CONFESSIONS: Things I Can’t Say at the Playground
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-55-confessions-things-i-cant-say-at-the-playground/
    Camouflaging ADHD & Autistic Traits in Girls (with Millie Carr)
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/replay-s1-episode-41-camouflaging-adhd-autistic-traits-in-girls-with-millie-carr-re-release/
    📬 Listener Questions & Community
    🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
    Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
    Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
    https://wa.me/61403457313
    ✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
    https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
    👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
    For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
    https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
  • ADHD Mums

    92 The Teen They Called ‘The Problem’ — And What Changed in a Different School Setting

    23/03/2026 | 25 mins.
    There’s a moment when you realise it’s not just a ‘bad term’ at school.
    It’s mornings that feel impossible.
    A child who won’t go.
    Or can’t go.
    And suddenly the question changes from
    'how do we fix this?'
    to
    'where do we go now?'
    WHAT WE COVER
    – What actually happens when mainstream school stops working
    – Why some children aren’t ‘failing school’ — the system is failing them
    – The reality of alternative education (and the myths that scare parents)
    – Why behaviour often looks worse before safety is built
    – What smaller, relationship-based learning environments do differently
    – How to know if an alternative pathway might be right for your child
    – Why some kids return to mainstream — and some never should
    WHY THIS EPISODE MATTERS
    There’s a gap no one talks about.
    Between
    ‘just try another school’
    and
    ‘we can’t do this anymore’
    And most parents fall straight into it
    with no map.
    This episode gives you language for that moment
    and shows you what actually exists on the other side.
    WHAT ALTERNATIVE EDUCATION ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE
    Not a ‘last resort’.
    Not a room full of ‘problem kids’.
    But often:
    – smaller class sizes
    – built-in sensory supports (not earned, not restricted)
    – flexible timetables
    – relationship-first teaching
    – success measured beyond academics
    Where safety comes before compliance
    and connection comes before curriculum.
    WHAT PARENTS OFTEN DON’T GET TOLD
    Alternative settings aren’t easier.
    They’re different.
    – Enrolment is often selective and thorough
    – Not every child is the right fit for every setting
    – There are waitlists
    – And options are limited depending on location
    But when it works
    it can completely change a child’s trajectory.
    THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF
    – Your child is anxious, refusing, or shutting down at school
    – You’ve tried multiple schools and nothing is improving
    – You’ve been told ‘this is just how school is’
    – You’re wondering if there are other pathways
    – You’re scared of making the wrong call
    🎧 RELATED EPISODES
    When School Becomes the Trauma – School Series
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/s2-ep2-school-series-when-school-becomes-the-trauma-what-no-one-tells-adhd-parents/
    The Great Gaslighting: When Schools Say ‘We Don’t See It’
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-7-school-series-the-great-gaslighting-when-schools-say-we-dont-see-it/
    Camouflaging ADHD & Autistic Traits in Girls (with Millie Carr)
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/replay-s1-episode-41-camouflaging-adhd-autistic-traits-in-girls-with-millie-carr-re-release/
    📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:
    The School Complaint & Escalation Guide for Parents
    https://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/
    Quiet Exclusion Kit
    https://adhdmums.com.au/product/quiet-exclusion-kit/
    School Advocacy Hub of Resources
    https://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/
    📬 Listener Questions & Community
    🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
    Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
    Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
    https://wa.me/61403457313
    ✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
    https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
    👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
    For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
    https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
  • ADHD Mums

    91. ‘When Someone Says “We Didn’t Have ADHD Back Then” — And You Start Defending Your Parenting’

    18/03/2026 | 16 mins.
    There is a moment at a family barbecue where your child isn’t sitting at the table.
    They’re walking.
    Talking.
    Eating on the move.
    And someone says it.
    'We didn’t have this ADHD thing when we had kids.'
    And just like that, it stops being about lunch
    and starts feeling like it’s about you.
    Because what sounds casual
    lands like doubt.
    WHAT WE COVER
    – Why 'we didn’t have ADHD back then' still shows up in families
    – What people see vs the invisible regulation work parents are doing
    – Familiarity bias and why ADHD gets dismissed as 'normal'
    – The concept of 'load blindness' in parenting
    – Why ADHD is more visible now (not more common)
    – How modern expectations make differences harder to hide
    – Why not forcing the battle is sometimes the most regulated choice
    THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF
    – You’ve felt judged in everyday moments like meals or outings
    – Someone has questioned your child’s ADHD
    – You’re doing constant behind-the-scenes regulation work
    – You’ve second-guessed yourself after family comments
    – You’re trying to support your child without turning everything into a battle
    EPISODES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
    Camouflaging ADHD & Autistic Traits in Girls (with Millie Carr)
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/replay-s1-episode-41-camouflaging-adhd-autistic-traits-in-girls-with-millie-carr-re-release/
    CONFESSIONS: Things I Can’t Say at the Playground
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-55-confessions-things-i-cant-say-at-the-playground/
    WHAT THE RESEARCH TELLS US
    ADHD hasn’t suddenly appeared.
    One of the most cited global studies (175 studies analysed) shows prevalence has remained relatively stable — we’re just better at recognising it now.
    https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/135/4/e994/33967/Prevalence-of-Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity
    Australian data tells a similar story.
    Children are entering school with a wider range of developmental profiles — particularly in communication and regulation.
    https://www.aedc.gov.au/resources/detail/2021-aedc-national-report
    This isn’t about kids being 'worse'.
    It’s about environments, expectations and visibility.
    HELPFUL LINKS
    Free ADHD Resources
    https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/
    Advocacy Hub
    https://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/
  • ADHD Mums

    90. ‘When Someone Says “We Didn’t Have ADHD Back Then” — And You Start Questioning Yourself’

    16/03/2026 | 21 mins.
    Somewhere in almost every ADHD conversation, someone eventually says it.
    'There weren't kids like this when I was at school.'
    Or the slightly more polite version:
    'Why are there suddenly so many ADHD kids now?'
    And if you're a parent of a neurodivergent child, you've probably heard this one too:
    'Maybe it's just screens.'
    This episode pulls that myth apart.
    Because the truth is far more complex — and far more interesting.
    ADHD didn't suddenly appear in the last 20 years.
    What has changed is how classrooms work, what children are expected to do inside them, and how visible neurodivergence becomes when the environment shifts.
    In this episode, we unpack one of the biggest myths about ADHD and neurodivergence:
    Are there actually more neurodivergent children now?
    Or are we finally recognising what was always there?
    WHAT WE COVER
    – The myth that 'there were no ADHD kids in the past'
    – Why increased diagnosis does not mean ADHD is suddenly more common
    – How modern classrooms have changed dramatically over the last 30 years
    – Why language demands in early schooling are much higher than they used to be
    – What happens when school expectations exceed a child's nervous system capacity
    – The difference between developmental opportunity and underlying neurodevelopmental differences
    – Why early learning environments play a crucial role in supporting neurodivergent kids
    – The societal changes affecting children's development, play and independence
    – How pandemic stress and modern family pressure has reshaped childhood environments
    – Why blaming screens oversimplifies a much bigger developmental conversation
    WHAT THE RESEARCH ACTUALLY SAYS
    One of the most cited global studies on ADHD prevalence analysed 175 international studies and found that ADHD rates have remained relatively stable over time.
    What has changed is recognition and diagnosis, not the existence of neurodivergent children.
    Global prevalence research:
    https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/135/4/e994/33967/Prevalence-of-Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity
    This systematic review, published in Pediatrics, remains one of the most widely referenced papers estimating ADHD prevalence worldwide.
    WHAT WE ARE SEEING IN AUSTRALIA
    In Australia, population-level data also tells an important story.
    The Australian Early Development Census tracks developmental vulnerability across the country and consistently shows that many children are entering school with developmental differences in communication, emotional regulation and social skills.
    AEDC National Report:
    https://www.aedc.gov.au/resources/detail/2021-aedc-national-report
    Importantly, developmental vulnerability does not mean something is 'wrong' with a child.
    It tells us that children's environments, expectations and support systems all interact with how development unfolds.
    And when school expectations increase, differences often become more visible.
    THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF
    – You have heard someone say 'there weren't kids like this when we were growing up'
    – You're navigating an ADHD diagnosis and feeling overwhelmed by misinformation
    – You're trying to explain neurodivergence to family members who don't understand
    – Your child struggles in modern classrooms but thrives in other environments
    – You've wondered whether society has changed more than children have
    – You want research-backed information about ADHD prevalence
    MORE ABOUT SALLY GALLOWAY & KAT MARRINGTON
    Kat Marrington (Speech Pathologist) at www.Talkiplay.com
    Sally Galloway (Occupational Therapist) at www.sallygalloway.com.au
    FREE ADHD RESOURCES
    If you're exploring ADHD for yourself or your child, these free tools can help.
    ADHD Self-Test
    A quick screening tool to help adults identify whether ADHD traits might be worth exploring further.
    https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-self-test/
    Free ADHD Resources
    Guides, articles and practical support for ADHD families.
    https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/
  • ADHD Mums

    89. When the Quiet Kids Are Struggling — But No One Notices

    10/03/2026 | 34 mins.
    School systems are built to notice disruption.
    The child throwing chairs.
    The child refusing to sit down.
    The child who can't stay quiet.
    But there is another group of kids.
    The ones who sit still.
    The ones who follow instructions.
    The ones teachers describe as 'lovely', 'polite', or 'no trouble at all'.
    And those are often the kids quietly falling apart.
    Because when a child internalises stress instead of showing it outwardly, the education system often doesn't see the struggle at all.
    In this episode we unpack what happens to internalising kids inside classrooms — why their needs are frequently missed, and what parents can actually do when the system isn't built to notice them.
    We also talk honestly about advocacy, complaints, and the uncomfortable reality that change inside the education system rarely happens unless parents create pressure.
    If your child looks fine at school but collapses at home, this conversation will likely feel very familiar.
    WHAT WE COVER
    – Why internalising kids are often invisible inside classroom systems
    – The difference between externalising behaviour and internalised stress
    – Why schools often rely on children to 'ask for help' even when that is neurologically difficult
    – Practical adjustments teachers can make that reduce invisible pressure for internalising students
    – How parents can translate what works at home into classroom supports
    – Why documenting school failures matters for long-term systemic change
    – How complaint processes to regional education offices actually work
    – Why data from parents is one of the only ways the education system changes
    – The difficult decision many families face when schools push children out
    – Why expulsion data matters for education policy reform
    THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF…
    – Your child looks like they are coping at school but falls apart at home
    – School says 'they seem fine here' but you know the effort it takes for your child to get through the day
    – You have an internalising child who doesn't speak up about their needs
    – You're navigating school refusal or burnout
    – You've considered making a complaint about your child's school but don't know where to start
    – You're trying to advocate for your child inside a system that feels impossible to change
    Find out more about Bronnie Hammond Vale here
    https://www.honeycombadvocacy.com/
    📬 Check out my Free Resource Mentioned in THIS EPISODE
    The School Complaint & Escalation Guide for Parents
    https://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/
    School Advocacy Hub of Resources
    https://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/
    Episodes Mentioned in This Episode
    Camouflaging ADHD & Autistic Traits in Girls (with Millie Carr)
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/replay-s1-episode-41-camouflaging-adhd-autistic-traits-in-girls-with-millie-carr-re-release/
    Neurodiverse Classrooms (with Millie Carr)
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-33-neurodiverse-classrooms-with-millie-carr/
    When School Becomes the Trauma – School Series
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/s2-ep2-school-series-when-school-becomes-the-trauma-what-no-one-tells-adhd-parents/
    The Great Gaslighting: When Schools Say “We Don’t See It” – School Series
    https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-7-school-series-the-great-gaslighting-when-schools-say-we-dont-see-it/
    📬 Listener Questions & Community
    🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
    Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
    Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
    https://wa.me/61403457313
    ✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
    https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
    👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
    For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
    https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
    📬 Listener Questions & Community
    🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
    Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
    Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
    https://wa.me/61403457313
    ✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
    https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
    👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
    For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
    https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

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About ADHD Mums

Being a mum is hard enough. Being a mum with ADHD — or raising neurodivergent kids is a whole different level. ADHD Mums is the unfiltered, science-meets-reality podcast hosted by Jane McFadden, educational neuroscientist, advocate, and mother of three. This isn’t another polished parenting show with 'ten easy tips.' It’s real stories, confessions we’re not supposed to say out loud, and the research that explains why so many of us are running on empty. Every week you’ll hear: 🎙️ Confessions — raw, anonymous truths from mums navigating rage, burnout, and survival. 🧠 Expert insights — from neuroscientists, clinicians, and policy leaders on ADHD, autism, and mental health. 💬 Advocacy in action — exposing ADHD medication shortages, NDIS red tape, and the hidden costs mothers carry. With over 1 million downloads already tuning in from across the world, the podcast has already influenced ADHD reforms in Australia, been featured in national media, and pushed politicians to answer the questions mothers are asking. If you’ve ever screamed in the car, forgotten every form until the night before, or wondered if you’re the only one falling apart — this podcast is your proof that you’re not broken, you’re just telling the truth.
Podcast website

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