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The Love Doc Podcast

Dr. Sarah Hensley
The Love Doc Podcast
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  • Episode 21, Season 2: “The Pain of the Dismissive Avoidant”
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Love Doc Relationship Coaching Services with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" Season II, where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.In this powerful and deeply illuminating episode Dr. Sarah Hensley in Social Psychology, and Raina Butcher dive into one of the most misunderstood emotional landscapes in attachment science: the inner world of the Dismissive Avoidant. For decades, the dismissive avoidant has been stereotyped as cold, unfeeling, and incapable of emotional depth. But Dr. Hensley dismantles that myth with compassion and scientific clarity. Beneath their carefully constructed armor lies some of the deepest, oldest pain of all the attachment styles—a pain so profound that many DA’s have learned to dissociate from it entirely just to survive.Dr. Hensley traces these wounds back to their roots in childhood. Many dismissive avoidants grew up in environments where emotional needs were consistently minimized, ignored, or even shamed. A child who learns that their emotional world is unsafe or “too much” often adapts by shutting it down altogether. That shutdown becomes their survival strategy—one they unknowingly carry into adulthood. But here’s the truth that often goes unseen: that shutdown is not the absence of feeling; it is the presence of invisible pain. Pain from years of not being held emotionally. Pain from learning early on that vulnerability equals danger. Pain that becomes so overwhelming that the only way to cope is to turn it off.Inside adult romantic relationships, this creates a painful paradox. The DA’s partner often experiences the excruciating sting of their distance—their tendency to pull away when connection deepens, their inability to express what’s going on internally, their preference for solitude over closeness. But underneath that distance is a nervous system that is terrified of being emotionally seen as too much or dismissed for feeling. Their detachment isn’t because they don’t care. It’s because the pain is simply too much to face. Dr. Hensley and Raina explore how healing for dismissive avoidants isn’t about “learning more.” It’s about learning how to build capacity around feeling safely for the first time. And when they do heal—when they slowly reconnect with the parts of themselves they’ve locked away for years—many report experiencing real joy for the first time in their adult lives. Joy in connection. Joy in trust. Joy in finally coming home to themselves. As Dr. Hensley shares, this journey requires a gentle, measured, and safe container—one that honors their pace rather than overwhelms it. That’s exactly why The Love Doc Hybrid Group Coaching Program has become a powerful healing space for so many dismissive avoidants. The program allows participants to remain anonymous if they choose, and the information is micro-dosed in digestible layers, so DA’s can process at their own speed without pressure or exposure. In fact, many FA/DA couples who’ve gone through Dr. Hensley’s program report breakthroughs they once thought were impossible.Whether you love someone with a dismissive avoidant attachment style—or you are one—this episode offers both scientific insight and a path forward. Pain may have shaped their past, but it does not have to define their future.Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Patreons link: patreon.com/TheLoveDocPodcastDr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coachingBook one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual CoachingPurchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/coursesTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedocFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyDisclaimer: The content shared on this podcast reflects personal experiences, opinions, and perspectives. The stories told are based on real-life events as remembered and interpreted by the hosts and guests. While we may discuss past relationships, custody matters, or personal dynamics, we do so from our point of view and with the intention of healing, education, and advocacy.Identities are not disclosed unless already publicly known or permitted, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental unless explicitly stated. The information provided is not intended to defame, malign, or harm any individual or entity.We do not offer legal advice or psychological diagnosis. Listeners are encouraged to consult with professionals regarding their specific circumstances.By listening to this podcast, you agree that the hosts are not liable for any losses, damages, or misunderstandings arising from its content.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
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  • Episode 20, Season 2: "Monthly Q&A – Questions from Our Private Facebook Community"
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Love Doc Relationship Coaching Services with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" Season II, where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 20, Season 2: "Monthly Q&A with Dr. Hensley – Questions from Our Private Facebook Community"In this month’s special Q&A edition of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah Hensley opens the floor to you—our loyal listeners and members of the Love Doc Clients & Community Facebook group. After reading through dozens of insightful and deeply personal questions submitted by the community, Dr. Hensley sits down to answer as many as she can in one heartfelt episode. These are real questions from real people—many of whom are courageously navigating the complexities of insecure attachment, emotional neglect, and the challenges of modern relationships.As expected, a major theme emerges: the Dismissive Avoidant attachment style—that emotionally elusive, often misunderstood blueprint that so many of you struggle to make sense of. Why do they retreat just as things start to feel close? Can they truly change? What does healing look like with someone who seems emotionally unavailable? Dr. Hensley dives deep into these questions, unpacking the psychology of avoidance while also addressing broader themes such as self-abandonment, boundary setting, and nervous system regulation in love and partnership.If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “Why do I love people who can’t meet me halfway?”—this episode will feel like a conversation you’ve needed for years.And if you’re not yet part of the free, private Love Doc Clients & Community group, consider this your invitation to join a supportive, trauma-informed space where you can connect, ask questions anonymously, and receive guidance grounded in science and compassion. ➡️ Join the group here.Month after month from here on out Dr. Hensley will be answering your most pressing questions directly on the podcast. Keep your questions coming—because your healing matters here.Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Patreons link: patreon.com/TheLoveDocPodcastDr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coachingBook one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual CoachingPurchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/coursesTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedocFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyDisclaimer: The content shared on this podcast reflects personal experiences, opinions, and perspectives. The stories told are based on real-life events as remembered and interpreted by the hosts and guests. While we may discuss past relationships, custody matters, or personal dynamics, we do so from our point of view and with the intention of healing, education, and advocacy.Identities are not disclosed unless already publicly known or permitted, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental unless explicitly stated. The information provided is not intended to defame, malign, or harm any individual or entity.We do not offer legal advice or psychological diagnosis. Listeners are encouraged to consult with professionals regarding their specific circumstances.By listening to this podcast, you agree that the hosts are not liable for any losses, damages, or misunderstandings arising from its content.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
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  • Episode 19, Season II: “Attachment Across the Generations: How Our Past Shapes Our Present”
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Love Doc Relationship Coaching Services with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" Season II, where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 19, Season II: “Attachment Across the Generations: How Our Past Shapes Our Present”In this episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah Hensley dives into a thought-provoking exploration of how attachment styles have been shaped and reshaped across multiple generations. While research in this area is still developing, Dr. Hensley shares her insights, blending the data we do have with her own professional expertise and observations from years of working with clients. Together, she and Raina reflect on how cultural norms, economic conditions, and parenting trends have influenced the way each generation both experiences and passes down attachment.We begin with The Greatest Generation aka the Silent Generation (1928–1945), who were shaped by the Great Depression and World War II. Their attachment strategies often leaned toward survival, self-sacrifice, and stoicism—traits that helped them endure hardship but often left emotional needs unspoken. This foundation directly influenced the Baby Boomers (1946–1964), who grew up in a time of post-war prosperity, suburban expansion, and cultural shifts. While this generation had greater stability, many were raised by emotionally distant parents still carrying war scars, creating a paradox of material abundance alongside emotional gaps.Next, we move to Generation X (1965–1980), often called the “latchkey kids.” With both parents working and divorce rates climbing, many Gen X children learned independence early but often struggled with consistent emotional attunement at home. This set the stage for Millennials (1981–1996), who came of age in a rapidly globalizing world of technology, economic instability, and shifting social values. Millennials were raised with more open conversations about emotions but also felt the weight of high expectations, student debt, and uncertain futures—all of which influence how they form and sustain attachments today.Finally, we turn to Gen Z (1997–2012) and Gen Alpha (2013–present), the most digital-native generations. Gen Z has grown up amidst political polarization, social media pressures, and the mental health crisis, shaping a cohort that is both highly self-aware and often highly anxious. Gen Alpha, still in childhood, is being raised by Millennials who are more intentional about emotional intelligence, attachment security, and breaking cycles—but also parenting in a world defined by technology, climate concerns, and shifting cultural landscapes.Dr. Hensley and Raina bring compassion and clarity to this conversation, showing how the ripple effects of one generation’s experiences can echo for decades. At the heart of the discussion is a message of hope: while each generation carries wounds, each also has the opportunity to break cycles, build secure attachments, and create healthier family units for the future.Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTENERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Cozy Earth promo code: LOVEDOC for 40% off at Luxury Bedding and Loungewear | Cozy EarthBedJet promo link for our listeners: bedjet.com/lovedocArmra promo code: LOVEDOC for 15% off at https://armra.com/LOVEDOCPatreons link: patreon.com/TheLoveDocPodcastDr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coachingBook one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual CoachingPurchase Dr. Hensley’s self-paced coaching program: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/coursesTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedocFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyDisclaimer: The content shared on this podcast reflects personal experiences, opinions, and perspectives. The stories told are based on real-life events as remembered and interpreted by the hosts and guests. While we may discuss past relationships, custody matters, or personal dynamics, we do so from our point of view and with the intention of healing, education, and advocacy.Identities are not disclosed unless already publicly known or permitted, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental unless explicitly stated. The information provided is not intended to defame, malign, or harm any individual or entity.We do not offer legal advice or psychological diagnosis. Listeners are encouraged to consult with professionals regarding their specific circumstances.By listening to this podcast, you agree that the hosts are not liable for any losses, damages, or misunderstandings arising from its content.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
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  • Episode 18, Season II: "Holding onto Hope in the Midst of Pain"
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Love Doc Relationship Coaching Services with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" Season II, where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 18, Season II: "Holding onto Hope in the Midst of Pain"In this week’s episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Hensley and Raina lean into one of the most powerful forces we can carry with us through life’s darkest seasons—hope.So often, when we walk through trauma, loss, or deep relational pain, it feels as though hope is the first thing to vanish. Whether we’re wrestling with the aftermath of PTSD and CPTSD, navigating heartbreak, or enduring circumstances that seem impossible to recover from, hopelessness can take root quickly. But science and lived experience both show us something remarkable: hope has the ability to transform the nervous system, soften the impact of trauma, and ignite the possibility of change.Dr. Hensley and Raina dive into the differences between hope and faith, exploring how these two forces weave together. Faith, they share, is the unseen—it’s trusting in something bigger than ourselves. Hope, however, is the present—it’s the silver lining we can cling to even in the middle of heartbreak, the light that helps us breathe through the shadows. Together, faith and hope create a bridge between what is and what can be.Through raw honesty and deeply personal stories, both hosts open up about seasons in their own lives when hope was the only thing they had to hold onto. Their reflections remind us that while pain may shape us, it doesn’t have to define us. When hope enters the room, everything begins to shift—our perspective, our choices, and the way we show up for ourselves and others.This episode is more than just a conversation; it’s an invitation. An invitation to believe that even in the hardest, most heartbreaking circumstances, hope can still bloom. And when it does, it has the power to rewire our brains, reframe our stories, and restore our joy.🌟 Special Invitation: Don’t miss Dr. Hensley’s free webinar on 9/25 at 5pm EST, where she’ll go even deeper into healing, attachment, and the tools you need to create lasting change in your relationships. Save your spot here → courses.thelovedoc.com/webinarTune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTENERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Cozy Earth promo code: LOVEDOC for 40% off at Luxury Bedding and Loungewear | Cozy EarthBedJet promo link for our listeners: bedjet.com/lovedocArmra promo code: LOVEDOC for 15% off at https://armra.com/LOVEDOCPatreons link: patreon.com/TheLoveDocPodcastDr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coachingBook one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual CoachingPurchase Dr. Hensley’s self-paced coaching program: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/coursesTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedocFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyDisclaimer: The content shared on this podcast reflects personal experiences, opinions, and perspectives. The stories told are based on real-life events as remembered and interpreted by the hosts and guests. While we may discuss past relationships, custody matters, or personal dynamics, we do so from our point of view and with the intention of healing, education, and advocacy.Identities are not disclosed unless already publicly known or permitted, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental unless explicitly stated. The information provided is not intended to defame, malign, or harm any individual or entity.We do not offer legal advice or psychological diagnosis. Listeners are encouraged to consult with professionals regarding their specific circumstances.By listening to this podcast, you agree that the hosts are not liable for any losses, damages, or misunderstandings arising from its content.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
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  • Episode 17, Season II: “Restoring Human Decency: Choosing Kindness in a Divided World”
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Love Doc Relationship Coaching Services with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" Season II, where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 17: “Restoring Human Decency: Choosing Kindness in a Divided World”In the aftermath of heartbreaking tragedy and the loss of Charlie Kirk, our nation is once again faced with a sobering reality: we are not just battling political division, but something much deeper—an erosion of human decency. In this episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah Hensley and co-host Raina Joy step away from political rhetoric to reflect on what it truly means to be human, to choose kindness, and to build bridges rather than walls.Together, they explore how acts of violence and hatred are not simply social or cultural issues, but signs of spiritual warfare. Scripture reminds us that “we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers” (Ephesians 6:12). These moments of darkness reveal the demonic forces at work in our world—seeking to divide, destroy, and corrupt. Yet even in this brokenness, we are called to be light-bearers, choosing love, compassion, and healthy discourse over bitterness and blame.Dr. Sarah and Raina also speak to the growing epidemic of mental illness and intrusive, demonic thoughts that plague so many in today’s society. They remind listeners that behind every belief, every action, and every worldview is a story. When we approach others with curiosity and empathy rather than condemnation, we open the door to true understanding and healing.This episode is a heartfelt call to return to human decency—to remember that kindness matters, that every person carries wounds we cannot see, and that disagreement does not have to mean division. By grounding ourselves in faith, leaning into compassion, and recognizing the spiritual battle we are all in, we can begin to heal not only our relationships but also the heart of our nation.If you’ve been searching for a message of hope, love, and unity in a time of confusion and grief, this conversation will encourage you to anchor yourself in what matters most: faith, empathy, and the unwavering power of human decency.Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTENERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Cozy Earth promo code: LOVEDOC for 40% off at Luxury Bedding and Loungewear | Cozy EarthBedJet promo link for our listeners: bedjet.com/lovedocArmra promo code: LOVEDOC for 15% off at https://armra.com/LOVEDOCPatreons link: patreon.com/TheLoveDocPodcastDr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coachingBook one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual CoachingPurchase Dr. Hensley’s self-paced coaching program: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/coursesTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedocFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyDisclaimer: The content shared on this podcast reflects personal experiences, opinions, and perspectives. The stories told are based on real-life events as remembered and interpreted by the hosts and guests. While we may discuss past relationships, custody matters, or personal dynamics, we do so from our point of view and with the intention of healing, education, and advocacy.Identities are not disclosed unless already publicly known or permitted, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental unless explicitly stated. The information provided is not intended to defame, malign, or harm any individual or entity.We do not offer legal advice or psychological diagnosis. Listeners are encouraged to consult with professionals regarding their specific circumstances.By listening to this podcast, you agree that the hosts are not liable for any losses, damages, or misunderstandings arising from its content.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
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About The Love Doc Podcast

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Love Doc Relationship Coaching Services, with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
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