Women & ADHD

Episode 207 with Roberta Dombrowski

“Work is one of the only socially acceptable forms of addiction. We get rewarded for not having boundaries and for always taking on more and more things.”

Roberta is an executive coach and founder of Learn Mindfully, where she helps leaders and teams thrive from the inside out.

After rising quickly through leadership roles to become a VP in the tech world at age 29, Roberta realized her success was coming at a cost — she found herself burned out, anxious, and physically affected by the pressure to prove herself constantly. On the outside, she was the high‑performing executive. On the inside, she was white‑knuckling her way through burnout, complex trauma, and the isolation of often being the only woman or person of color in the room.

In this conversation, Roberta and I discuss:

How her late ADHD diagnosis helped her finally make sense of her childhood and school experience
The overlap between ADHD, trauma, and burnout, especially for high‑achieving women, mothers, and entrepreneurs
What trauma‑informed leadership actually looks like day‑to‑day (hint: it’s not just more bubble baths)
Why work is “one of the only socially acceptable forms of addiction” — and how to step out of that cycle
How to start loosening your grip on control, micromanagement, and over‑functioning without letting everything fall apart

If you’ve ever felt like your “success” is built on overfunctioning, perfectionism, and people-pleasing — and you’re desperate to break up with burnout but not sure how — this episode is definitely for you.

Website: learnmindfully.co
Instagram: @learn_mindfully

Links & Resources:
In Her Words (Roberta’s podcast)
Free resource: Leadership Energy Audit
Free resource: Reclamation Journal
Strong Ground: The Lessons of Daring Leadership, the Tenacity of Paradox, and the Wisdom of the Human Spirit by Brené Brown
Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky with Connie Burk

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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

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Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching
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Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy
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Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse
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Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!
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If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast
Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast
Twitter: @womenandadhd
Facebook: @womenandadhd

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/women-and-adhd/donations

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Episode 206 with Madeline Grace Matthews & Karla Pretorius

“I'm learning more and more how to be myself.”

Madeline is 23, and she was diagnosed with autism and a mild cognitive disability as a child. Originally from the U.S., she currently lives with her missionary family in Thailand. She is also the author of the recent book “Nineteen Letters to Myself: Guided Reflections and Prompts for Hope and Healing from a Neurodivergent Perspective.” 

Madeline’s book started as a series of letters to her younger self — originally as a coping tool, and eventually as a way to make sense of her neurodivergence, as well as childhood trauma, big emotions, religious faith, and learning to see herself as “different, not less.”

Karla is a psychotherapist and PhD candidate who began working with Madeline in 2021 and helped her write and publish the book. In the first half of the episode, the three of us discuss the process of writing the book and the healing power of showing our younger selves kindness and acceptance. 

In the second half of the episode, I sit down with Karla and hear a little more about her research on women and ADHD and the incredible work she’s doing in the neurodivergent community. Karla, who has ADHD herself, shares how she’s working to bridge academic research with lived experience.

If you’re the parent of a neurodivergent teen or if you’ve been diagnosed in adulthood and you’re on a journey of reparenting your inner child, or if you’ve ever felt like you were too much, not enough, or simply misunderstood — this episode is definitely for you.

Website: karlapretorius.com
Instagram: @therapy.neurodivergent

Links & Resources:
Nineteen Letters to Myself: Guided Reflections and Prompts for Hope and Healing from a Neurodivergent Perspective by Madeline Grace Mathews and Karla Pretorius
AIMS Global

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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

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Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching
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Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy
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Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse
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Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!
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If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast
Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast
Twitter: @womenandadhd
Facebook: @womenandadhd

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/women-and-adhd/donations

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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Episode 205 with Jen Fry.

“I like to tell people that I’m not nice. I’m kind, but I’m not nice. I think niceness is weaponized way too much against people.”

Jen is an educator, speaker, and author of the book “I Said No: How to Have Boundaries and Backbone While Not Being a Jerk.”

Saying no is supposed to be simple — but for so many women with ADHD, it feels loaded with guilt, overthinking, and the fear of disappointing everyone around you.

Jen is a former college volleyball coach with a PhD in sports geography, and she now works at the intersection of conflict, culture, and sport, speaking to teams and organizations around the country.

We talk about the ADHD tendency to be a people-pleaser, and why Jen proudly says she’s kind, not nice. In this conversation, we talk about ADHD, hyperfocus, time blindness, imposter syndrome, and why so many high-achieving women end up chronically overcommitted, burnt out, and resentful. 

We also explore what it really takes to say no — not just to other people, but to our own overexcited ADHD brains, our endless ideas, and our impulse to fill every spare moment.

If you’ve ever struggled with boundaries, overcommitting, or worrying that saying no makes you “difficult,” this episode is going to hit very close to home. 

Website: jenfrytalks.com
Instagram: @jenfrytalks

Links & Resources:
I Said No: How to Have Boundaries and Backbone While Not Being a Jerk by Dr. Jen Fry
The Power of Likeability (Forbes)
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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

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Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching
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Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy
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Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse
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Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!
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If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast
Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast
Twitter: @womenandadhd
Facebook: @womenandadhd

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/women-and-adhd/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Episode 204 with Rae Jacobson.

“There is a difference between traits and impairment. If we dilute the idea of ADHD into something that just seems familiar, we risk shutting out the people who really need help.”

Rae is a journalist, an ADHD and learning disorders expert, and the Lead of Insight at Understood, where she also hosts the podcast Hyperfocus. Rae has spent over 20 years digging into the stories and science of neurodivergence. She’s a former senior editor at the Child Mind Institute, and her work has appeared in New York Magazine, the Daily Beast, Rolling Stone, Parenting, American Girl, and more.

Rae and I talk about her very winding path to an ADHD diagnosis: growing up as the “smart kid who did terribly at school,” getting diagnosed with LD-NOS, dyscalculia, and dysgraphia, and then finally, in her early 20s, realizing she has ADHD. Rae shares the life-changing experience of attending Landmark College — a school specifically for students with ADHD and learning disabilities.

We also wrestle with the current ADHD discourse: the difference between relatable traits and true impairment, what happens when “everyone has ADHD,” and why that can both broaden awareness and quietly shut people out of care. We talk about internalized ableism, the ongoing cycles of skepticism (“quit your whining”) and backlash online, and the need for voices that pair lived experience with journalistic fact-checking.

And of course, we talk about Hyperfocus, Rae’s podcast at Understood that zeroes in on what fascinates us most about ADHD, mental health, and learning. 

Website: Understood.org
Instagram: @understoodorg

Links & Resources:
The Berkeley Girls with ADHD Longitudinal Study (S. Hinshaw)

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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

- - - - -
Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching
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Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy
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Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse
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Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!
- - - - -

If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast
Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast
Twitter: @womenandadhd
Facebook: @womenandadhd

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/women-and-adhd/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Episode 203 with Dr. Anupriya Gonge.

“For mothers, the executive functioning demands keep shifting. Just as you find your rhythm, everything changes again.”

Dr. Anupriya Gogne is a board-certified addiction psychiatrist who specializes in women’s mental health, She is also the Division Director of Outpatient Psychiatry at Brown University Health in Rhode Island. Over the past eight years, she has worked closely with adult and perinatal women navigating a wide range of psychiatric challenges. After her own late-in-life ADHD diagnosis, Dr. Gogne began to reframe much of what she was seeing in her clinical work — particularly in high-achieving women who had spent years feeling overwhelmed, misunderstood, or misdiagnosed. This personal and professional insight led her to write the book “Neurodevelopmental Disorders in Adult Women: Special Considerations in the Perinatal Period,” which offers a clinical guide for trainees and practitioners and sheds light on the often-overlooked experiences of neurodivergent women and mothers.

We discuss how ADHD often presents differently in women, especially during the perinatal period, and how executive dysfunction can be mistaken for laziness, depression, or character flaws. Dr. Gogne shares her own experience of being a high-functioning but chronically exhausted student and professional, and how the diagnosis helped her understand her lifelong struggles with attention, restlessness, and self-criticism. We talk about the gendered ways society responds to executive dysfunction in mothers vs. fathers, the importance of strengths-based and trauma-informed care, and the intersection of ADHD with culture, trauma, and hormonal transitions. Dr. Gogne also shares how cultural norms in India shaped her ability to mask and compensate for her symptoms, and why she believes ADHD is not a disorder, but rather a state of nervous system dysregulation that deserves more compassionate and individualized treatment.

In this episode, we discuss:

Dr. Gogne’s late ADHD diagnosis and its impact on her clinical work
The need for strengths-based, individualized approaches in perinatal psychiatry
How mothers and fathers experience executive dysfunction differently
How trauma and hormonal shifts intersect with executive dysfunction

Website: https://www.brownhealth.org/providers/anupriya-gogne-md

Links & Resources:
Neurodevelopmental Disorders in Adult Women: Special Considerations in the Perinatal Period by Dr. Anupriya Gogne
(Get 20% off with code: SPRAUT)
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Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

- - - - -
Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching
- - - - -
Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy
- - - - -
Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse
- - - - -
Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!
- - - - -

If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast
Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast
Twitter: @womenandadhd
Facebook: @womenandadhd

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/women-and-adhd/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy