Shameless Sex

What if alcohol isn't making you more confident... it's just making you care less? What is life like when you cultivate the confidence without altering yourself?

In this refreshingly honest (and often hilarious) episode, we're joined by Helen Masters, founder of Sober AF Dating, sober coach, speaker, and self-confessed recovering people-pleaser, to unpack everything we thought we knew about dating, confidence, sex, and sobriety.

Helen opens up about the experience that led her into coaching after surviving sexual assault and spending years believing alcohol was the secret ingredient to confidence, connection, and a good night out. It wasn't rock bottom that made her stop drinking—it was realizing she was tired of living somewhere in the middle.

Together, we dive into some of dating's biggest myths. Is alcohol the biggest catfish in modern dating? Why do so many of us mistake intoxication for confidence? And what really happens when you remove the liquid courage from flirting, first dates, and the bedroom?

We also get candid about the things nobody talks about: the first sober orgasm with a new partner, why sober flirting can actually save you months of wasted time, and how ditching alcohol often strips away the stories, excuses, and BS that get in the way of genuine connection.

Helen shares one of her most talked-about beliefs: "Women aren't addicted to wine—they're addicted to permission." We explore what that really means, how sobriety changes the dating experience for women and men in different ways, and the unexpected gifts women discover when they stop drinking.

You'll also hear why Helen sometimes coaches clients in pubs, the wide range of people she works with, and how her no-nonsense, straight-talking British humour helps people navigate everything from first-date nerves and body confidence to menopause, modern dating, and yes—even the kinky stuff.

If you've ever wondered what dating, intimacy, and confidence look like without alcohol—or you're simply curious whether sober really can be sexy—this episode is packed with laughs, honesty, and plenty of moments that might just change the way you think about connection.

About Helen Masters

Helen Masters is the founder and CEO of Sober AF Dating, a sober coach, speaker, and recovering people-pleaser who swapped hangovers for honesty. After more than two decades believing alcohol was the key to confidence, dating, and a good night out, she discovered something surprising: the real magic happened when she stopped drinking.

Known for her straight-talking British humour and her motto, "I'm not Willy Wonka—I don't sugarcoat sht,"* Helen is on a mission to show that sobriety doesn't make life smaller—it makes it bigger. Through coaching, speaking, and Sober AF Dating, she helps people build confidence, connection, and authentic relationships without needing liquid courage.

Contact Helen: helen@soberafdating.com

IG: @Soberafdating

Personal IG: @Thehelenmasters

TikTok: @SoberAFDating

Come to our October 2026 Couple's retreats! Learn more and reserve your spot here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about Intimacy Rewired - Amy's 6-week online course for couples: https://intimacyrewired.com

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Wait...I Can Transform My Relationship in Just 42 Days?

Join us on this episode of Shameless Sex as we give away all of the prime tips from the game-changing Intimacy Rewired course with the masterminds behind it, Ian Stratton and Amy Baldwin. You'll get the inside scoop on their 6-week program that has already changed the lives of many, and we're giving away the top takeaways so you can start applying the life-changing tools right now.

Here's what you'll learn:

* The pillars of Intimacy Rewired and how they can help you break free from patterns that hold you back and go from good to great in the bedroom and beyond

* How to master the art of communication and become a pleasure expert in the bedroom

* Techniques to kick shame to the curb and move towards deep love and connection

* How to integrate active learning and practical tools that actually stick to transform your intimacy

Ian Stratton, a seasoned healing expert with a passion for making personal growth accessible, and Amy Baldwin, with her signature enthusiasm, have joined forces to create a program that's not just informative but also fun and engaging. With their unique blend of Internal Family Systems, somatic psychotherapy, and more, they'll guide you through the journey of transformation.

As a listener, you'll not only get the exclusive lowdown on Intimacy Rewired, but you'll also score a special discount when you sign up. Just head to ⁠https://intimacyrewired.com ⁠and mention the show to get started and get a special discount.

Tune in to this episode to get ready to rewire your intimacy and transform your relationship. We give you the tools. Now all you have to do is listen and start to practice!

Come to our October 2026 Couple's retreats! Learn more and reserve your spot here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Can monogamous people really find what they're looking for at a sex party?

Tune in as we chat with Michael Hollice, the Founder and Creative Director of The Play, a revolutionary sex party community that's been breaking boundaries for over 8 years. You might be wondering what happens at one of these parties, or if they're even for you - especially if you're monogamous. The answer might surprise you.

Here's what you'll learn from this episode:

* The real meaning behind "sex parties" and what sets The Play apart from the rest

* Why monogamous people are increasingly drawn to sex parties and what they're getting out of the experience

* Essential tips for newbies looking to dip their toes into the world of sex parties

* Surprising takeaways from The Play's approach to creating safe, inclusive, and curated events that anyone can learn from

* The importance of STI testing and how The Play is leading the way

As one of the few black play party owners, Michael brings a unique perspective to the conversation, shaped by his experiences in TV and film production, as well as his time at LinkedIn and Google. Get ready to have your assumptions challenged and your curiosity piqued. Whether you're monogamous, non-monogamous, or somewhere in between, this episode is for you.

By listening, you'll gain a deeper understanding of the sex party scene, the benefits of community-driven events, and how to prioritize care, consent, and connection in your own life. And who knows, you might just find yourself wanting to join the party.

About our guest: As the Founder and Creative Director of The Play, Michael Hollice has led the play party community for over 8 years, offering a wealth of firsthand experience and knowledge. Guided by The Play’s Pillars: Care, Consent, Connection, Creativity, and Community, Michael and his team create safer and inclusive spaces fostering genuine connections and cultural evolution. His experiences in television and film production, coupled with Operation Management roles at LinkedIn and Google, showcase his ability to combine creativity with efficiency. Notably, as one of the few black play party owners, Michael brings a distinct perspective, enriching diversity within the community he passionately shapes. His dedication to authenticity and inclusivity, coupled with his role as a cultural architect, continues to make The Play a beacon of immersive and transformative experiences. To learn more go to ⁠https://theplay.la

IG @theplay.la

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What's happening to your brain and body as you age, particularly during perimenopause? 

And why is it a complete landmine when you also have ADHD?

Ever felt like you're losing your grip on life, and nobody warned you that perimenopause and ADHD could be a double whammy? Join us on this week's Shameless Sex podcast as we dive into the uncharted territory of Ugly Perimenopause with Mandi Dixon, a Licensed Professional Counselor and ADHD Executive Function Coach who's got the tea on what's really going on.

In this episode, you'll get the lowdown on:

* The surprising link between estrogen loss and dopamine destabilization – and how it's affecting your sex drive and sanity

* Why women who seemed to have it all together are often the ones who crash and burn during perimenopause

* The hidden costs of being a high-achiever with ADHD – and how it's impacting your libido

* The importance of understanding the hormonal and neurological changes happening in your body

* Practical tools and solutions to make this stage of life less of a hot mess

Mandi's got the expertise and the passion to help you make sense of it all. With over 150,000 followers on social media and features in USA Today and Good Morning America, she's on a mission to empower women to take control of their bodies and their lives. And, spoiler alert, she's writing a book about it! Learn more about Mandi here: http://mandidixonlpc.com

Tune in as we get real about the challenges of perimenopause and ADHD, and discover how understanding what's happening in your body can lead to more freedom, a better quality of life, and maybe even a better sex life. And stick around until the end, when we'll be asking: what's next for women navigating ADHD and menopause – and how can you prepare for the journey ahead? 

Get ready to shamelessly explore the uncharted territory of your own body and mind. Listen now and join the conversation!

Follow Mandi:

IG @adhdmenopausetherapist

Tik Tok @adhdmenopausetherapist

Come to our October 2026 Couple's retreats! Learn more and reserve your spot here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Are You in a "Healthy Relationship"… or Just Really Good at Ignoring Red Flags? 🚩

Why do we keep falling into the same relationship patterns, even when we know better? Why do some people chase connection while others seem to run from it? And how do you build a relationship that actually lasts without losing yourself in the process?

In this candid and eye-opening episode, we sit down with Breann Starr, somatic relational and intimacy mentor and founder of Embodied Liberation.love, to unpack the psychology, nervous system patterns, and relationship habits that shape the way we love.

From healthy communication and emotional intimacy to codependency, attachment styles, and relationship repair, we're diving into the topics that show up in nearly every partnership—but rarely get talked about openly.

We explore what truly makes a healthy relationship, the biggest signs of an unbalanced relationship, and the relationship tools that help couples stay connected long after the honeymoon phase ends. Breann also shares the most common relationship challenges she sees in her clients and why many of our struggles can be traced back to patterns we learned years ago.

We also tackle one of the internet's favorite buzzwords: codependency. What is it, really? How do you know if you're people-pleasing your way through relationships? And how can you create deeper intimacy without sacrificing your own needs, boundaries, or identity?

Plus, we break down attachment styles—including anxious attachment and avoidant attachment—and discuss practical ways to work with them. If you're someone who spirals when a text goes unanswered or shuts down when conversations get emotionally charged, this part is for you.

Drawing from her background as a registered nurse and extensive training in trauma-informed somatic modalities, Breann explains why lasting relationship change isn't just about understanding your patterns—it's about learning how to work with them through the body, nervous system, and emotional awareness.

Whether you're dating, healing from heartbreak, navigating a long-term relationship, or trying to understand why your ex still somehow comes up in therapy, this episode is packed with actionable insights, relationship advice, and a few loving reality checks along the way.

✨ What a healthy relationship actually looks like
✨ The biggest signs of an unhealthy relationship
✨ Essential relationship skills for long-term success
✨ Common relationship problems and how to navigate them
✨ How past relationships affect current partners
✨ Codependency signs, causes, and healing strategies
✨ Anxious attachment vs. avoidant attachment explained
✨ How to improve communication and repair conflict
✨ Nervous system regulation for healthier relationships
✨ Building deeper intimacy, connection, and self-trust

Breann Starr is a somatic relational and intimacy mentor and founder of Embodied Liberation, a body-based approach to transforming how we experience love, sex, intimacy, relationships, and personal growth. She helps people break free from repetitive relational patterns, reconnect with themselves, and create more authentic, fulfilling relationships.

Learn more at https://www.embodiedliberation.love

If you've ever wondered whether you're securely attached, accidentally codependent, emotionally unavailable, or just a human trying your best to navigate modern relationships, this episode is for you.

Come to one of our October 2026 Couples Retreats! Learn more and reserve your spot here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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