Stepmum Space

Christmas is when stepfamily pressure peaks — and for many Stepmums, it’s when the “perfect blended family” myth hurts the most.In this episode, I’m joined by Courtney, a stepmum in Australia navigating 50/50 care with two stepkids (14 and 12). Courtney shares a raw, honest account of what happened when the other household’s new partner became highly involved — and how panic, comparison, and control slowly escalated co-parenting tension, affected her relationship, and left her stuck in fight/flight.This episode explores accountability without shame, emotional reactivity, and the shift from “What do they think of me?” to “What do I want my role to be?”✨ This is our last episode of the year — we’ll be back in January.What we coverThe emotional toll of stepmum life (and why it surprises so many women)When a new stepparent “takes over” — and why it’s so triggeringFairness, resentment, and the “here we go again” spiralHow co-parenting conflict leaks into the stepcouple relationshipFight/flight responses and nervous system overwhelmLetting go without feeling like you’re “losing”Key takeaways for stepmumsYou’re not “too sensitive” — your stress response is informationTrying to control the other household often increases exhaustionKids’ silence can lead stepmums to overthink and over-functionYou can own missteps without living in self-blameRole clarity starts with your values, not others’ perceptionsChapters / timestamps00:00 – Intro + Christmas chat 01:46 – Courtney’s family setup 03:30 – “I wasn’t prepared for the emotional toll” 06:10 – What changed when the other household had a baby 08:20 – The new stepdad’s involvement 11:10 – Loyalty binds + “you’re just Courtney” 13:48 – Wanting to matter (slowly) 15:25 – Panic, control, and the group chat 19:20 – Decisions made without consultation 21:58 – When it hit Courtney’s wellbeing 24:40 – Home as safe space 27:25 – Do the kids know? 30:34 – Partner conflict + “here we go again” 32:11 – Fight/flight/freeze 36:44 – “I wouldn’t force my role” 39:05 – Letting go of perception 44:02 – Closing reflectionsSupport mentioned (January)Feeling reactive, exhausted, or stuck?The Stepmum Reset Workshop – 23rd January Small group, practical tools, calmer nervous system, clearer boundaries. Just a few spots left.1:1 coaching for stepmums Couples coaching for stepcoupleswww.stepmumspace.comShare + subscribeIf this episode helped, please follow or subscribe and leave a quick review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it really helps other stepmums find this support.SEO keywordsstepmum support, stepmom support, blended family, stepfamily podcast, co-parenting conflict, high conflict ex, loyalty binds, stepcouple arguments, stepmother burnout, emotional labour, nervous system regulation, Christmas stepfamily stressSupport the show

If you’re juggling a high-conflict ex, 50/50 schedules or loyalty binds, this one’s for you. Katie talks to Lauren, a Scottish stepmum who reconnected with her high-school love—now a dad of three with two exes—and built a calm, child-centred blended family through clear boundaries, parallel parenting and a truly united couple stance. We cover: meeting kids at their pace, handling retaliation without taking the bait (haircuts, earrings & house rules), why a written agreement beats a verbal one, transitions in a 50/50 schedule, and keeping sibling connections strong across big age gaps. Lauren also shares choosing not to have biological children—and still feeling like a whole family. Next steps: 1:1 coaching, the January Stepmum Reset Workshop, and downloadable tools at stepmumspace.com.Timestamps: 00:03 Intro & themes 02:10 How the blended family began 07:40 Meeting each child at their pace 10:22 “You’re the boss of your own hair” (child agency) 16:18 Retaliation & staying out of the drama 20:18 What supportive partners actually do 25:53 Mediation + written agreement (game-changer) 31:18 Transitions without loyalty binds 32:47 Sibling dynamics (18/18/7) 35:44 Choosing not to have bio kids 37:45 Advice for struggling stepmumsKeywords: stepmum support, blended family, parallel parenting, high-conflict ex, custody agreement, 50/50 schedule, stepmum boundaries, mediation, withheld access, stepfamily transitionsLinks/CTA: • Book a free intro for 1:1 coaching • Join the January Stepmum Reset Workshop • Download tools for tricky moments → stepmumspace.com Socials: @stepmumspaceSupport the show

(Trigger warning: miscarriage, domestic violence)What happens to a stepmum when the whole family system is in survival mode?When there’s court, withheld contact, trauma, ASD needs, transition day meltdowns, and a partner trying to hold everything together with guilt-soaked hands?In today’s episode, Jean (not her real name) shares her raw, complex and human journey on Stepmum Space.Across this conversation we explore:What it’s like to fall in love with someone whose ex weaponises contact How ASD, trauma, and loyalty binds shape a child’s behaviour The emotional toll of being blamed for things that never happened Step-sibling dynamics when both partners bring a child into the relationship The guilt, resentment and relief stepmums rarely say out loud How to stay connected to your partner through the chaosWhy stepmums often think “maybe they’d be better off without me” — and how to move past itWhen the ex blocks therapy: what it does to the child and the stepmumHow to stay connected to your partner through chaosThe surprising moments that helped rebuild trust, safety and calmWhat children really understand about conflict, loyalty binds, and transitionsJean speaks openly about miscarriages, trauma responses, domestic abuse in the wider system, and the ripple effects that land in a stepmum’s lap—often silently, often without choice.This episode gives you:Emotional reassurancePractical insightsA deeper understanding of trauma behavioursA real-life story of survivable — and workable — blended family chaosPermission to feel what you’re feeling🔥 If this episode hit a nerve… The January Stepmum Reset Workshop is for you.If you’re listening and thinking:“This is my life.”“I’m exhausted from trying to keep the peace.”“I love my partner, but the system is breaking me.”“I want 2026 to feel different.”Then the Stepmum Reset Workshop is the space you’ve been craving.The workshop is practical, psychologically grounded, and genuinely transformative. Spaces are limited. Book at stepmumspace.com 💛 Connect with Stepmum SpaceInstagram: @stepmumspaceTikTok: @stepmumspacePodcast: Stepmum SpaceWork with Katie: www.stepmumspace.com🎧 If you found this episode helpful…Please follow, rate, or leave a review. It helps more stepmums find this support—and you never know who needs to hear this today.Support the show

High-conflict exes, clashing house rules and an ours baby — today’s episode goes deep into the reality of stepfamily life. If you’re a stepmum feeling overwhelmed, anxious or alone, this one will speak straight to you.Katie talks with Jane (name changed), a stepmum navigating secrecy for safety, court cases, three stepchildren, and a new baby, all while trying to build a stable home anchored in values and routines. Jane shares how belonging grows slowly, how she built trust through small consistent cues (hair plaits, dinners together, practical help), and how she learned to hold boundaries without absorbing the emotion of hostile messages.They explore loyalty binds, two-home rules, the pressure of a contact schedule that takes every weekend, and the emotional load of loving someone with a complicated history.In this episode:Loving your partner and the past they carrySecrecy, safety and contact from a distanceGradual attachment to stepchildrenBelonging cues (plaits, shared meals, helping)Clashing values across two homesLiving by a custody schedule + protecting couple timeBoundaries with a hostile exSharing hard truths with kidsWelcoming an ours baby + forming new identityPerfect for: Stepmums in high-conflict situations • overwhelmed by instability • new stepmums • anyone struggling with boundaries, anxiety or slow-growing attachment.The Stepmum Reset Workshop Feel clearer, calmer and more in control. 👉 Book now: stepmumspace.comPrefer self-paced? See all workbooks under All Products on the site.Support the show

Book your place on The Stepmum Reset now: https://stepmumspace.comEpisode SummaryIn this episode, Katie talks to Claire — an independent woman who fell deeply in love with her partner… and his three children. While Claire adores the kids, navigating the dynamic with their mum and the emotional load of stepfamily life has been far harder than she expected.If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, out of control, or unsure where your boundaries should be, this conversation will make you feel truly seen.In this episode, Katie and Claire explore:loving the kids but finding dynamics with their mum difficultbiting your tongue more than anyone realiseslosing yourself while trying to hold everything togetherfeeling like your life is shaped by other people’s decisionsthe emotional toll of being endlessly flexiblewhy boundaries aren’t optional for stepmumshow to reconnect with yourself when everything feels chaoticA raw, validating conversation every stepmum will relate to.Key Topicsfeeling out of controlhigh-conflict or tense co-parenting dynamicssilent emotional loadboundaries when you’re not the biological parentresentment, guilt, overwhelm and burnoutstaying grounded and connected to yourselfThe Stepmum Reset WorkshopIf you’re thinking, “I can’t keep going like this,” The Stepmum Reset is for you.This two-part workshop gives you the tools, language, boundaries and clarity to feel more in control.Next dates: 26th November and 6th December 7:15–8:45pm UK Time Live on Zoom Small group, compassionate, safeYou’ll leave with:a personalised wellbeing and boundary plantools that ease overwhelmclarity on what’s yours to hold — and what isn’tstrategies for asking for what you needa community of women who truly get itBook your place: https://stepmumspace.com Or email: [email protected] Foroverwhelmed stepmumswomen drained by the ex-partner dynamicstepmums struggling with boundarieshigh-conflict co-parenting situationsthose feeling anxious, invisible or resentfulnew stepmums needing validation and reassuranceHelpful LinksThe Stepmum Reset: https://stepmumspace.com Instagram: @stepmumspace 1:1 and Couples Coaching: https://stepmumspace.com/bookingFinal NoteYou are not alone. You are not doing it wrong. Your feelings are valid — and there is support that makes this feel lighter.Support the show