The Birth Lounge Podcast

Today's episode is brought to you by Two Pages Curtains. As a new mom, HeHe quickly realized how much her home environment impacted her postpartum recovery. Two Pages' beautiful cotton and linen curtains helped transform her home into a calmer, cozier space without sacrificing healthier materials. Visit twopagescurtains.com and use code HEHE to save on your favorite styles.

In this episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe tackles one of the most emotional (and surprisingly common) parts of becoming a parent: setting boundaries with the people you love.

After becoming a mom herself, HeHe experienced firsthand how quickly family dynamics can shift after a baby arrives. That's why she's joined by Instagram creator and Gen X grandmother Mom Mom Maria, who has become a trusted voice for helping parents and grandparents build healthier, more respectful relationships during the postpartum season.

Together, they unpack some of the biggest boundary challenges new parents face, from grandparents calling your baby "my baby" and sharing pregnancy or birth news without permission to expecting unlimited access, pushing for sleepovers, or dismissing your parenting choices with, "Well, we did it this way."

HeHe and Mom Mom Maria also share practical strategies for setting boundaries without guilt, responding confidently in the moment, presenting a united front with your partner, and navigating family members who struggle to respect your decisions. They talk about the difference between healthy support and entitlement, why consequences sometimes become necessary, and how protecting your peace in postpartum isn't selfish... it's one of the greatest gifts you can give your growing family.

Whether you're pregnant and preparing for these conversations or already navigating complicated family dynamics, this episode will leave you feeling more confident protecting your postpartum experience while creating healthier relationships for everyone involved.

Guest Bio:

Alexis is on a mission to heal motherhood. As a manifesting generator (iykyk), Alexis achieves this mission in a variety of ways. From business support services for those aligning with her mission, to teaching children and their families social and emotional regulation skills, to helping moms create their own healing plan. Alexis believes firmly that every person is unique and helps them find what works for each individual. Alexis offers birth story debriefs for mothers and doulas, as well as a completely free course and workbook for new moms to complete with their support system.

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/

Connect with Mom Mom Maria on IG: https://www.instagram.com/mommom.maria

https://www.facebook.com/people/MomMom-Maria/61577327715507/

 

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

We're bringing back one of our most-loved conversations because the truth is... every parent deserves to know all of their options before labor begins. Whether you're hoping for an unmedicated birth, planning an epidural, or simply want to feel prepared for whatever your birth unfolds, this episode is packed with evidence-based information to help you make informed decisions with confidence.

In this re-aired episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe sits down with board-certified OB-GYN Dr. Nicole Rankins for a balanced, judgment-free conversation about pain management in the hospital. Together, they break down the full spectrum of comfort measures available during labor, from epidurals and IV medications to nitrous oxide and non-medicated coping techniques, while discussing the benefits, limitations, and considerations of each.

They also dive into common misconceptions about epidurals, how different pain relief options can impact labor, and why understanding your choices before contractions begin can help you feel more confident, empowered, and in control throughout your birth experience.

Whether you're planning your first birth or preparing for another, this conversation is a reminder that there's no "right" way to give birth. The best choice is the one that's informed, intentional, and aligned with your goals.

Guest Bio
Dr. Nicole Rankins is a board-certified OB-GYN, childbirth educator, and host of the All About Pregnancy & Birth podcast. A Duke University-trained physician with more than two decades of experience delivering babies, she's passionate about helping parents understand their options so they can make informed, confident decisions throughout pregnancy and birth. Through her podcast, courses, and educational resources, Dr. Nicole empowers families with evidence-based information while championing patient autonomy and shared decision-making.

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/ 

Connect with Dr. Rankins on IG: https://www.instagram.com/drnicolerankins

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

In this episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe sits down with pelvic floor physical therapist Hayley Kava, founder of UMA Pelvic Health, to tackle one of the most common pregnancy complaints that doesn't get nearly enough attention: SI joint pain.

If you've been told pregnancy pain is "just part of it," this conversation is your reminder that you don't have to simply suffer through it. Hayley explains what's actually happening in your pelvis during pregnancy, why SI joint pain develops, and how your pelvic floor, core, ribcage, breathing, and overall movement patterns all work together.

Together, HeHe and Hayley break down why treating the pelvis in isolation often misses the bigger picture, how pregnancy hormones and your changing biomechanics influence pain, and why small changes to the way you move, stand, breathe, and rest can make a huge difference. They also discuss practical tools like SI belts, belly support bands, Pilates balls, yoga blocks, and gentle movement strategies, along with when those tools can help... and when they might not.

Hayley also shares why pelvic floor physical therapy isn't just about internal exams (and yes, those are always optional), how to build a supportive birth team, and why individualized care is one of the best investments you can make during pregnancy.

Whether you're already dealing with pelvic pain or hoping to prevent it, this episode is packed with practical, evidence-based strategies to help you move more comfortably, feel more supported, and better understand your changing body throughout pregnancy.

00:00 Stop Blaming Pelvic Floor

01:03 Pelvic Floor Basics

01:56 Meet Hayley Kava

03:19 Why SI Pain Matters

06:43 SI Joint Anatomy

09:18 Normal Asymmetry Patterns

12:20 Pubic Pain and Rolling

15:52 Inhibit Then Retrain

17:56 Rubiks Cube Body Model

20:10 Stop Bracing to Sneeze

21:34 Pregnancy Posture Fixes

25:31 Preparing for Labor Moves

29:14 Build Your Care Team

33:39 Pregnancy Compensation Patterns

34:36 Spotting Habitual Postures

36:46 Mindful Pain Check Ins

38:29 Shifting Stance And Sitting

41:29 Tension Beyond Pelvic Floor

43:23 Guarding And SI Joint Myths

46:16 Ribs Hip And Big Picture

47:57 Internal Exam Is Optional

50:38 Daily Tools And Movement

56:43 Services Access And Wrap Up

 

Guest Bio:

Hayley became a pelvic floor therapist in 2017 after a birth injury opened her eyes to the limitations in traditional pelvic rehab.

Hayley took her Postural Restoration and Sports Medicine background and dug deep into the literature. Over the years developing an integrative whole person method to treat the pelvic floor.

She has become passionate about sharing this method with not only her clients and staff but to the masses via social media, online classes and various trainings for clinicians looking to take a different approach to pelvic rehab. You can learn more about those offerings at hayleykavapt.com

 

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/ 

Connect with Hayley on IG: https://www.instagram.com/hayleykavapt/

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

 

LINKS AND RESEARCH MENTIONED:
www.umapelvichealth.com

www.hayleykavapt.com

Kiapour A, Joukar A, Elgafy H, Erbulut DU, Agarwal AK, Goel VK. Biomechanics of the Sacroiliac Joint: Anatomy, Function, Biomechanics, Sexual Dimorphism, and Causes of Pain. Int J Spine Surg. 2020 Feb 10;14(Suppl 1):3-13. doi: 10.14444/6077. PMID: 32123652; PMCID: PMC7041664.

Joukar, Amin MS∗; Shah, Anoli MS∗; Kiapour, Ali PhD∗; Vosoughi, Ardalan Seyed MS∗; Duhon, Bradley MD†; Agarwal, Anand K. MD∗; Elgafy, Hossein MD∗; Ebraheim, Nabil MD∗; Goel, Vijay K. PhD∗. Sex Specific Sacroiliac Joint Biomechanics During Standing Upright: A Finite Element Study. SPINE 43(18):p E1053-E1060, September 15, 2018. | DOI: 10.1097/BRS.0000000000002623

Ep. 468: The Know Your Rights Map: Obstetrical Violence, Birth Trauma, and Patient Rights in the Hospital Birth Room with Cristen Pascucci [Re-Air of Ep. 203]
In this Birth Lounge Podcast episode, host HeHe interviews Kristen Pascucci, founder of Birth Monopoly, about birth trauma and obstetric violence in hospital birth. They discuss trauma as a self-defined response that overwhelms the system, common trauma/PTSD symptoms (intrusive memories, nightmares, avoidance, physical reactions, triggers including the hospital or even the baby), and the overlap with prior sexual trauma. Pascucci explains obstetric violence as appropriation of the birthing person’s body and subordination through coercion, manipulation, pressure, disrespect, and power dynamics, ranging from jokes about birth plans to forced procedures; vaginal exams without true informed consent are highlighted as a common example. They also cover reporting options (hospital complaints, state licensing boards, lawsuits) and why accountability is often limited, including low disciplinary rates and barriers to malpractice cases, and share resources at birthmonopoly.com including an obstetric violence map.

00:00 Accountability and Advocacy

02:06 Informed Consent Basics

04:09 Meet Cristen Pascucci

05:34 What Birth Trauma Means

09:23 Trauma Symptoms and Triggers

16:13 Defining Obstetric Violence

20:13 The Pyramid of Harm

21:39 Common Example Vaginal Exams

33:02 Reporting and Medical Boards

45:29 Resources and Closing

 

Guest Bio:

A former communications strategist at a top public affairs firm in Baltimore, Maryland, Cristen Pascucci is the founder of Birth Monopoly and Birth Monopoly's Doula Power group, co-creator of the Exposing the Silence Project, and, from 2012 to 2016, vice president of national advocacy organization Improving Birth. She has run an emergency hotline for women facing threats to their legal rights in childbirth, created a viral consumer campaign to “Break the Silence” on trauma and abuse in childbirth, and helped put obstetric violence and the maternity care crisis in national media. Today, she is a leading voice for women giving birth, speaking around the country and consulting privately for consumers and professionals on issues related to birth rights and options. Cristen​ ​is also the host of Birth Allowed Radio as well as executive producer of a documentary film planned for release in 2020 to start a national conversation on obstetric violence, birth trauma, and women's rights in birth.

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/ 

Connect with Cristen on IG: https://www.instagram.com/birthmonopoly

facebook.com/birthmonopoly

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

In this episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe welcomes back perinatal therapist Ashley Mariani for a conversation that isn't happening nearly enough: the relationship between sexuality, pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.

So often, our culture either completely ignores sexuality in motherhood or hypersexualizes birth in ways that don't actually serve women. HeHe and Ashley explore what it looks like to honor your sexuality as a natural, embodied part of pregnancy, labor, birth, and beyond, and why that relationship with yourself doesn't simply disappear once your baby arrives.

Together, they dive into the realities of rebuilding intimacy after birth, navigating breastfeeding, co-sleeping, body changes, exhaustion, and the identity shifts that come with becoming parents. They also unpack how these experiences impact relationships, why desire often changes postpartum, and how couples can reconnect without shame, pressure, or unrealistic expectations.

Whether you're pregnant, newly postpartum, or years into parenthood, this conversation offers a compassionate, honest look at one of the most overlooked parts of the motherhood journey and reminds you that your identity, your relationship, and your sexuality all deserve care, too.

00:54 Content Warning and Space

03:08 Guest and Episode Focus

06:42 Sex Taboo and Real Support

09:21 Sex and Birth Connection

12:23 Purity Culture Origins

14:44 Porn Culture and Pregnancy

21:37 Postpartum Porn and Healing

34:37 Sex Positive Parenting

35:51 Co Sleeping and Desire

39:52 Spontaneous Intimacy Ideas

41:57 Free Birth Advocacy Class

43:41 Postpartum Desire Differences

46:32 Playful Safe Flirting

49:29 Two Year Desire Timeline

52:21 When Therapy Is Refused

56:29 Family Origins And Shame

01:00:46 Misogyny Porn And Incel Culture

01:05:16 Relearning Embodiment Postpartum

01:10:50 Breaking Cycles With Communication

01:12:32 Vaginal Mapping And Tiny Bites

01:17:28 Wrap Up Resources And Farewell

 

Guest Bio:

Ashley Mariani, a Registered Social Worker, mom, wife, and the owner of Mind Online Therapy. She’s been practicing virtually since 2018—long before it was trendy—and she’s known for a nervous-system-first approach that’s practical, grounded, and refreshingly free of fluff. Ashley’s work focuses on couples therapy, intimacy, anxiety, trauma, and perinatal mental health, with a strong emphasis on co-regulation, stress physiology, and shame-free conversations about what’s really happening beneath conflict. She’s also a birth trauma advocate, helping bring language, validation, and support to an experience that’s often minimized or misunderstood. Ashley is the voice behind The Rogue Therapist, where she delivers bold, honest education for people who are done performing their healing.

 

Connect with Ashley: Mindonline.ca

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/ 

Connect with Mind Online on IG: https://www.instagram.com/mindonline.ca/

Connect with Ashley on IG: https://www.instagram.com/therogue.therapist/

 

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app