The Birth Lounge Podcast

In this episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe welcomes back perinatal therapist Ashley Mariani for a conversation that isn't happening nearly enough: the relationship between sexuality, pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.

So often, our culture either completely ignores sexuality in motherhood or hypersexualizes birth in ways that don't actually serve women. HeHe and Ashley explore what it looks like to honor your sexuality as a natural, embodied part of pregnancy, labor, birth, and beyond, and why that relationship with yourself doesn't simply disappear once your baby arrives.

Together, they dive into the realities of rebuilding intimacy after birth, navigating breastfeeding, co-sleeping, body changes, exhaustion, and the identity shifts that come with becoming parents. They also unpack how these experiences impact relationships, why desire often changes postpartum, and how couples can reconnect without shame, pressure, or unrealistic expectations.

Whether you're pregnant, newly postpartum, or years into parenthood, this conversation offers a compassionate, honest look at one of the most overlooked parts of the motherhood journey and reminds you that your identity, your relationship, and your sexuality all deserve care, too.

00:54 Content Warning and Space

03:08 Guest and Episode Focus

06:42 Sex Taboo and Real Support

09:21 Sex and Birth Connection

12:23 Purity Culture Origins

14:44 Porn Culture and Pregnancy

21:37 Postpartum Porn and Healing

34:37 Sex Positive Parenting

35:51 Co Sleeping and Desire

39:52 Spontaneous Intimacy Ideas

41:57 Free Birth Advocacy Class

43:41 Postpartum Desire Differences

46:32 Playful Safe Flirting

49:29 Two Year Desire Timeline

52:21 When Therapy Is Refused

56:29 Family Origins And Shame

01:00:46 Misogyny Porn And Incel Culture

01:05:16 Relearning Embodiment Postpartum

01:10:50 Breaking Cycles With Communication

01:12:32 Vaginal Mapping And Tiny Bites

01:17:28 Wrap Up Resources And Farewell

 

Guest Bio:

Ashley Mariani, a Registered Social Worker, mom, wife, and the owner of Mind Online Therapy. She’s been practicing virtually since 2018—long before it was trendy—and she’s known for a nervous-system-first approach that’s practical, grounded, and refreshingly free of fluff. Ashley’s work focuses on couples therapy, intimacy, anxiety, trauma, and perinatal mental health, with a strong emphasis on co-regulation, stress physiology, and shame-free conversations about what’s really happening beneath conflict. She’s also a birth trauma advocate, helping bring language, validation, and support to an experience that’s often minimized or misunderstood. Ashley is the voice behind The Rogue Therapist, where she delivers bold, honest education for people who are done performing their healing.

 

Connect with Ashley: Mindonline.ca

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/ 

Connect with Mind Online on IG: https://www.instagram.com/mindonline.ca/

Connect with Ashley on IG: https://www.instagram.com/therogue.therapist/

 

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

In this episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe continues her series on one of the most requested and emotionally charged topics in parenting: vaccines.

She's joined by pediatrician and The Vaccine Book author, Dr. Bob Sears, for a thoughtful conversation about vaccine schedules, informed consent, and why so many parents feel caught between asking questions and feeling heard. Together, they explore how vaccine recommendations have evolved over time, what influences the current childhood vaccine schedule, and why trust between families and the medical system has become increasingly strained.

Throughout the conversation, Dr. Sears shares his perspective on topics including timing of vaccination, measles and the MMR vaccine, herd immunity, newborn protection strategies, breastfeeding antibodies, and questions many parents have about vaccine ingredients, package inserts, MTHFR, and vaccine safety research. He also discusses why some families seek individualized approaches to vaccination and what he believes parents should consider when making decisions with their healthcare provider.

As with every episode in this series, this conversation is not intended to tell you what decisions to make for your family. Instead, HeHe's goal is to create space for respectful discussion, equip parents with information, and encourage thoughtful conversations with trusted healthcare providers so you can make informed decisions that align with your family's values.

Whether you're firmly decided, still gathering information, or simply curious about the questions many parents are asking, this episode invites you into a conversation centered on nuance, critical thinking, and respectful dialogue.

00:00 Vaccine Indoctrination Claim

01:08 Advocacy Scripts for Birth

04:22 Vaccine Series and Guest Intro

11:42 Why Trust Broke Down

39:24 Vaccines and Immune System Theory

49:35 Why MMR Hits Hard

52:18 Measles Risk and Nutrition

56:42 Vaccine Side Effects Data Gap

01:01:13 Herd Immunity Myth

01:04:31 Newborn Cocooning and Shedding

01:11:35 Pregnancy Vaccine Repeat Doses

01:14:43 MTHFR and Vaccine Decisions

01:20:18 Will Diseases Return

01:23:43 Finding Like Minded Care

01:26:35 Resources and Farewell




Guest Bio:

Dr. Bob Sears is a pediatrician, vaccine educator, and author of The Vaccine Book. He earned his medical degree at Georgetown University School of Medicine and did his pediatric internship and residency at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. With the ongoing threat of mandatory vaccination laws, Dr. Bob’s mission is to insure that all families worldwide receive complete, objective, and un-doctored informed consent before they choose vaccination and that people everywhere retain the freedom to make healthcare decisions for themselves and their children.

 

https://drbobsears.com/

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/

Connect with Dr. Sears on IG: https://www.instagram.com/drbobsears

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

 

Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

 

LINKS MENTIONED:
https://www.vaclib.org/basic/health/patientchoicedoctors.htm

Just the Inserts website: find vaccine inserts on this website and vaccine friendly Pediatricians 

Dr. Green mom’s list of vaccine friendly Pediatricians: https://drgreenmom.com/find-a-vaccine-friendly-doctor/

Today's episode is brought to you by Two Pages Curtains. As a new mom, HeHe quickly realized how much her home environment impacted her postpartum recovery. Two Pages' beautiful cotton and linen curtains helped transform her home into a calmer, cozier space without sacrificing healthier materials. Visit twopagescurtains.com and use code HEHE to save on your favorite styles.

In this episode, HeHe sits down with international parenting coach Mary Van Geffen for a conversation every parent of a “spicy” child needs to hear. 💜 We’re talking about the strong-willed, deeply feeling, highly perceptive kids who are often labeled “too much,” “difficult,” or “defiant” when really… they just experience the world differently.

HeHe opens up about her own experience growing up labeled as a strong-willed child and how years of psychology education, therapy, and nervous system work helped her realize the problem was never that she was “bad.” More often, parents simply weren’t given the tools, support, or understanding needed to parent kids with intense temperaments.

Together, HeHe and Mary unpack what’s actually happening beneath tantrums, power struggles, emotional explosions, and big reactions. They talk about nervous systems, attachment, triggers rooted in our own childhoods, and why “connect before you direct” changes everything when parenting highly sensitive or persistent kids. You’ll also hear practical conversations around boundaries that are calm and firm, respectful parenting vs. permissive parenting, repairing after conflict, parenting teenagers with curiosity instead of control, and how to regulate yourself before trying to regulate your child.

This episode is validating, healing, and packed with practical tools for parents who want to raise emotionally healthy kids without shame, fear, or constant power struggles. And if you’ve ever worried that your child is “too much” or that you’re somehow failing as a parent… this conversation is going to feel like a giant exhale. 💜

 

Guest Bio:

Mary Van Geffen is the international parenting coach for Moms of Spicy
Ones®️, as well as a legit Spicy One herself. She wrote the book on thriving when your child ‘s needs feel overwhelming titled, Parenting A Spicy One: A Compassionate Guide for Raising a Wonderfully Strong-Willed and Deep Feeling Kid. (The book is Amazon’s 2026 top new release in both Motherhood and Parenting School Aged Children!) Mary’s work helps parents practice the spiritual discipline of staying calm, kind, and firm with their strong-willed kids - especially when they don't deserve it. She combines her training as a Simplicity Parenting counselor and Professional Co-Active Coach with hard-earned personal experience raising her own spirited daughter and mild-mannered son.She has transformed the lives of over eight thousand mothers with her on-line support group Moms of Spicy Ones Academy that includes hours of on-demand digital parenting classes and group coaching. Mary shares daily inspiration for loving your child and yourself with her 400,000 followers on Instagram. Her greatest achievement is cultivating a connected relationship with both her adult Spicy One child and her Spicy One Enneagram 8 mother.

Connect with Mary: 

maryvangeffen.com

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/ 

Connect with Mary on IG: https://www.instagram.com/maryvangeffen

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

If you're exhausted from wondering whether your baby's sleep is normal, you're not alone. That's exactly why I created the Newborn Sleep Solution. It's an evidence-based guide that walks you through newborn sleep, wake windows, naps, feeding, and what's actually realistic in those first few months, so you can stop second-guessing yourself and start feeling confident. Grab it at https://www.thebirthlounge.com/newbornsleep 

In this solo episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe gets real about three things that completely caught her off guard in motherhood now that she's 6-7 months postpartum.

She opens up about how becoming a mom unexpectedly changed her friendships, why some of the people she thought would show up haven't, and how fellow moms have become some of her biggest sources of support. She also shares the surprising emotions that come up when people chalk her postpartum experience, baby's temperament, sleep, or travel success up to "luck" instead of recognizing the intentional, evidence-based choices behind them.

Finally, HeHe reflects on something she never expected to feel: how little she misses her pre-baby life. While motherhood has absolutely stretched and challenged her, she talks honestly about why she's never wanted to "go back," how becoming Saggy's mom has shifted her priorities, and what it's looked like to intentionally build a life and business that support both her family and the community she loves serving.

If you've ever wondered whether your friendships will change after baby, felt frustrated when your hard work gets dismissed as luck, or found yourself navigating the identity shift that comes with becoming a parent, this episode is an honest reminder that you're not alone. It might just leave you feeling a little more seen.

00:00 Three Things I Can’t Shake

00:57 Free Advocacy Scripts

04:12 Explicit Language Warning

04:32 Mindfucks of Motherhood Intro

05:37 Mom Friends Shift

08:47 Friendships After Baby

11:08 Offended by “Lucky”

18:15 Intentional Parenting Not Luck

25:13 Missing Old Life Less

32:18 Wrap Up and Where to Follow

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/ 

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

In this re-aired episode, HeHe sits down with reflux specialist Aine Homer to unpack one of the most stressful (and most misunderstood) newborn challenges: baby reflux. 💜 If you’ve ever found yourself wondering “Is this normal spit-up or something more?” or spending hours soothing a crying, uncomfortable baby with no clear answers, this conversation is going to feel incredibly validating.

Aine breaks down the difference between normal infant spit-up, reflux, and silent reflux, and explains why reflux is not a diagnosis on its own, but a symptom pointing to something deeper. Together, HeHe and Aine explore the many possible root contributors—from feeding mechanics and overfeeding, to swallowed air, birth interventions, allergies and intolerances, oral restrictions like tongue ties, nervous system stress, and even microbiome imbalance.

They also walk through common medical approaches, what medications like H2 blockers and PPIs actually do, and the considerations families should understand when weighing treatment options. Most importantly, this episode gives you a “puzzle piece” framework for understanding your baby’s symptoms, plus practical strategies to help you cope in those long, exhausting stretches when nothing seems to soothe your baby.

This episode is equal parts educational and deeply reassuring—reminding parents that reflux isn’t something you just “wait out,” and you are not wrong for wanting answers and support when something feels off.

00:00 Trust Your Parent Instincts

00:59 Non Toxic Registry Plug

04:50 Reflux Episode Setup

08:10 What Reflux Really Is

12:57 Spit Up Balloon Theory

16:45 Simple Fixes Burps Feeds

18:39 When Spit Up Signals More

22:04 Reflux Is A Symptom

25:45 Reflux Free Journey Map

29:14 Upright Time And Tongue Ties

37:44 Chewing For Facial Tone

38:22 Tongue Posture Basics

38:55 Nasal Breathing For Kids

42:02 Reflux Remedies And Red Flags

47:05 Meds Risks Probiotics And Support

Connect with Aine: https://www.thebabyrefluxlady.co.uk
 

Guest Bio:

Áine is the mum of two girls who between them had diagnoses of colic, reflux, silent reflux, CMPA, and multiple other food intolerances and allergies. Coupled with a three year relationship with post natal depression, left her feeling lost, alone and like she didnt even know who she was anymore. During that time, her instinct was to always listen to her babies, even though she wasn’t naturally maternal, and so she never accepted the explanations that the healthcare professionals offered. Her daughters WERE in pain, and there HAD to be a reason.

With a background in mechanical engineering, maths and then retraining in 2012 in Traditional Chinese Medicine, Áine believed that there was one question which would unlock the answers for her babies. And that is still the same question she supports her clients around the world to answer for these children. And that is “What is causing your babys distress?” No matter what is going on for your baby, the answer to this question brings pathways for resolution.

SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/ 

Connect with GUEST on IG: 

BIRTH EDUCATION:
Skip the registry overwhelm. HeHe spent 60+ hours researching baby gear, comparing brands, and digging into everything from microplastics and forever chemicals to quality and functionality, so you don't have to. Grab her free Low-Tox Baby Registry Guide for the exact products she chose for her own baby, plus the reasoning behind every recommendation: thebirthlounge.com/registry

 

Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin

 

Resources:
https://www.uptodate.com/contents/acid-reflux-gastroesophageal-reflux-in-babies-beyond-the-basics
 https://llli.org/why-infant-reflux-matters/
 https://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/abdominal/Pages/GERD-Reflux.aspx
 https://www.childrenshospital.org/conditions/gerd