Cleave: The Podcast

Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood teachings in faith communities — and for many people, that misunderstanding has caused more harm than healing.
In this Here’s the Lesson episode, we explore why forgiveness has so often been taught as immediate reconciliation, emotional closure, or spiritual maturity — and how that definition leaves survivors feeling confused, ashamed, and unsafe.
If your body still reacts, if setting boundaries feels necessary, or if forgiveness feels impossible right now, this episode offers clarity without condemnation.
We talk about:
The difference between forgiveness and reconciliation

Why forgiveness is an internal process, not restored access

How faith can be used to heal rather than control

Why Jesus forgave freely and still set boundaries

How honoring what’s still healing can be an act of wisdom, not failure

This episode is for anyone navigating:
spiritual abuse, emotional manipulation, family systems, boundaries, faith and healing, or the pressure to “forgive and move on” before it’s safe.
Forgiveness can free you.
Boundaries can protect you.
You don’t have to choose one or the other.

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What happens when kindness comes with expectations?
In this mini episode of Here’s the Lesson, we explore how giving—especially in families—can quietly turn into obligation, control, or resentment when it’s tied to unspoken expectations.

This conversation isn’t about blame.

It’s about honesty, boundaries, and learning the difference between love that’s freely given and love that’s conditional.

If these conversations matter to you, we share a weekly note with deeper reflections on faith, boundaries, and truth. You’re welcome to join us. ⁠Click here⁠ for more.

Also, A Favor to Ask: If this episode, or any of our others resonate with you... Please subscribe and rate this podcast! It will help us reach others that need this message too!

What happens when faith—meant to heal, guide, and liberate—is used to control, silence, or shame?
In this episode, we dive into the often misunderstood topic of spiritual abuse and spiritual manipulation. We talk honestly about how gospel principles can be misapplied in families, churches, marriages, and faith communities—sometimes unintentionally, sometimes generationally—and the emotional and spiritual toll that can take.
This conversation isn’t about blaming or attacking people of faith. It’s about naming patterns that stop growth, distort truth, and disconnect us from our own agency—and from God. We explore how misuse of concepts like honor thy parents, turn the other cheek, and self-sacrifice can lead to anxiety, depression, resentment, and loss of self.
We also discuss how to recognize the difference between Christlike love and control, why boundaries are not unfaithful, and how learning to listen to your own inner compass can actually bring you closer to the Savior—not farther away.
This episode is for anyone who has felt confused, conflicted, or trapped in the name of “doing the right thing.” Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and know you’re not alone in the process of healing.

If these conversations matter to you, we share a weekly note with deeper reflections on faith, boundaries, and truth. You’re welcome to join us. ⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠ for more.

Also, A Favor to Ask: If this episode, or any of our others resonate with you... Please subscribe and rate this podcast! It will help us reach others that need this message too!

“Don’t judge” is one of the most quoted — and most misunderstood — phrases in Christian culture.
In this Here’s the Lesson mini episode, we unpack what Jesus actually taught about judgment, discernment, and accountability. Christ never asked us to abandon truth in the name of love. He warned against hypocrisy — not righteous judgment.
We explore the difference between condemning people and discerning fruit, why “don’t judge” is often used to deflect accountability, and how truth spoken with humility is not unchristian — it’s loving.
Here’s the lesson:
Discernment isn’t judgment.
Avoidance is.
Take what’s good. Leave the rest.

If these conversations matter to you, we share a weekly note with deeper reflections on faith, boundaries, and truth. You’re welcome to join us. Click here for more.

What did Jesus actually mean when He said, “turn the other cheek”?
For many, this teaching has been misunderstood—and misused—to encourage silence, endurance, and even compliance in the face of harm. In this episode of Here’s the Lesson, we slow down and place Christ’s words back into their original context.
This conversation explores the difference between refusing retaliation and refusing safety, how scripture can be weaponized to protect abuse, and why Jesus consistently modeled both love and wisdom.
Boundaries are not a lack of faith.

Peace is not passivity.

And Christ never asks us to endure abuse to prove our righteousness.

If these conversations matter to you, we share a weekly note with deeper reflections on faith, boundaries, and truth. You’re welcome to join us. ⁠Click here⁠ for more.