A Millennial Mind

Why do some traditions feel like a warm hug, while others leave you questioning everything?

In this episode, I sit down with my friend Shivani Bafna, content creator and new mom, who openly shares the reality of motherhood online. We talk about pregnancy, postpartum recovery and the Indian traditions passed down through generations. She shares which ones helped her, which advice she chose to accept or ignore, and how she kept her peace with parents, in-laws and the internet all weighing in. Motherhood doesn't have to mean choosing between honouring your culture and doing what feels right for you.

We talk about:

Her real emotions when she found out she was pregnant, and the pressure South Asian women feel to act excited about motherhood
Never seeing herself as "maternal," and the fear of losing her identity
How our own mothers shape what we believe motherhood should look like
Handling unsolicited advice, and why she asked her family questions instead of handing them rules
The no-visitors debate, and why she chose her mental health
Why every parenting decision has a trade-off, and "call me a bad mom"
Three generations, three laddu recipes, and how she picked one without offending anyone
The 40-day postpartum diet: saffron milk, fenugreek water and nourishing food for recovery
Why every woman struggles with postpartum, and why motherhood doesn't have to be binary

If you've ever felt torn between the traditions you grew up with and the mother you want to be, this conversation will make you feel a lot less alone.

Subscribe and turn on notifications so you don't miss the next one; it genuinely helps me bring on more incredible guests.

Follow Shivani Bafna: @shivani_bafna https://www.instagram.com/shivani_bafna

AD:

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Everyday ways to save water:

Cut your shower by two minutes to save 28L
Use a washing up bowl instead of a running tap to save 10L per minute
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Search "Let's Save Water" or visit letssavewater.com to see what small changes you could make, and maybe have a chat with your friends and family about this too.

#AMillennialMind #Postpartum #SouthAsianMotherhood

Chapters
00:00 Intro: why old motherhood traditions are only now making sense
02:47 Welcome, Shivani Bafna
03:53 Who was Shivani before the public eye?
04:28 Growing up Indian in the Midwest
08:03 "I was never maternal"
11:02 How our mothers shape our idea of motherhood
16:17 Her real emotions when she found out she was pregnant
19:37 When your parents disagree with your pregnancy choices
23:31 Navigating unsolicited advice as a first-time mom
28:37 Why family support is give and take
30:24 The problem with fear-based motherhood content
33:15 AD: Let's Save Water
34:05 Living under one roof with the whole family
34:47 The no-visitors rule: does she regret it?
38:52 Every parenting decision has a trade-off
39:46 The no-kissing rule
40:57 How to set boundaries with parents and in-laws
42:05 Have these conversations before the baby arrives
44:18 Three generations, three laddu recipes
46:49 Treating your family like key stakeholders
47:33 When everyone in the family disagrees
49:40 Why it's okay to change your mind as a parent
53:19 The 40-day postpartum diet
56:34 Collective care in South Asian culture
58:59 The truth about postpartum
1:01:05 Adapting traditions to work for you
1:02:26 Motherhood doesn't have to be binary
1:03:38 Final thoughts

🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast

✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/

Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠
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Why do some relationships feel safe and easy, while others leave you constantly overthinking?

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Amir Levine, psychiatrist, neuroscientist and bestselling author of Attached and his new book, Secure. We talk about the four attachment styles and why your style isn't something to heal from. It's a biology you can learn to work with. The little everyday moments are what actually rewire your brain to feel safer in love, friendship and family.

We talk about:

The four attachment styles, and why you can have a different one with every person in your life
The smoke experiment that shows the hidden strengths of anxious and avoidant people
Why tiny everyday interactions matter more than big therapy breakthroughs
The five pillars of a secure life, and how to show up for people even when life is full
Why one partner can't be everything, and how to build your "secure village"
The three pitfalls avoidants fall into, and the simple fixes that save relationships
"Wall tennis with love," a tool for anxious people in one-sided friendships
Why parents have far less influence on your adult attachment style than you've been told
How anxious attachment can be a superpower when you learn to use it

If you've ever blamed yourself for being "too much" or "too distant," this conversation will change how you see yourself and the people you love.

Subscribe and turn on notifications so you don't miss the next one; it genuinely helps me bring on more incredible guests.

AD:

In England, we’re using water faster than nature can replace it, and in Wales, wetter winters and drier summers are putting pressure on the water supply. We often use more than we realise, we don't need massive lifestyle changes to change these stats. Everyday ways to save water:• Cut your shower by two minutes to save 28L• Use a washing up bowl instead of a running tap tosave 10L per minute• Fix a leaky loo to save up to 400L a day• Use eco-mode on appliances to save 10L per washSearch “Let’s Save Water” or visit letssavewater.com to see what small changes you could make and maybe have a chat with your friends and family about this too.

#AMillennialMind #AttachmentStyles #Relationships

Chapters
00:00 Intro: why some relationships leave you overthinking
02:26 Welcome, Dr. Amir Levine
02:49 Why he wrote Attached and Secure
03:40 The four attachment styles explained
06:03 Different attachment styles with different people
07:59 Is being secure the goal?
08:30 The smoke experiment: hidden strengths of each style
10:50 Why the little moments matter most
13:43 When our first recording fell apart
18:43 Why attachment is a daily practice
20:15 What if your partner isn't secure?
22:46 Why different people support us in different ways
24:53 Turning "insecure" traits into strengths
26:55 Why we expect friends to be everything
28:42 When friendships drift apart
30:31 The five pillars of a secure life
33:25 The small thank-yous that make us secure
35:27 A loyalty program for relationships
36:15 How the human brain actually feels safe
37:37 The health benefits of feeling connected
39:39 Stop villainising avoidants
40:56 Avoidant pitfall #1: "Heal thyself"
42:53 Avoidant pitfall #2: breaking the baseline
46:09 Are you avoidant in your friendships?
47:03 Why teenagers pull away from parents
49:58 Avoidant pitfall #3: closeness overdose
53:23 How do I raise a secure child?
55:36 Sleep training, breastfeeding and attachment myths
57:44 Anxious baby vs anxious attachment
58:46 Attachment ingenuity: staying connected your way
1:00:29 How to handle an anxious friend
1:01:15 Wall tennis with love
1:04:14 When the other person isn't doing the work
1:07:54 What shapes the other 90% of your attachment style
1:08:21 What worms and dogs teach us about closeness
1:10:04 Why secure people don't overthink it
1:10:49 Anxious attachment as a superpower
1:12:34 The adopted sisters story
1:14:16 When your strengths become your swords
1:14:56 What he wants you to believe about yourself
1:15:36 Final thoughts

🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast

✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/

Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠
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Can you actually have it all, or is that the exact belief that's making you feel like you're failing?

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa, a double board-certified plastic surgeon, mom of three, and the internet's most unfiltered voice on modern motherhood. We get into the myth of doing it all, the impossible standards placed on working parents, and why the "good mom" checklist most of us are measuring ourselves against was never built for the life we're actually living.

We talk about:

Her definition of being a good mom, and why she refuses to be graded on how she cuts a cucumber

Going into labor in the middle of surgery, and the brutal reality of maternity leave in medicine

Being mistreated at work while pregnant, and why she wishes she'd stood up for herself sooner

Meeting her husband and being radically honest about her goals from date one

Why the burden of self-sacrifice still falls on mothers, and what it actually takes to change that at home

Quality time versus quantity of time, and what she learned from watching her own parents

The soccer game she missed and the conversation that came out of it

Why women get judged for having help, and what her husband says when she spirals about it

If you've ever felt guilty for wanting a career and a family, or like you're constantly being judged no matter what you choose, this conversation will change how you see it.

Subscribe and turn on notifications so you don't miss the next one; it genuinely helps me bring on more incredible guests.

Follow Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa: [add her @drdhivyasrinivasa / https://avarawell.com/]

#AMillennialMind #MomGuilt #WorkingMom

00:00 Intro: the pressure to be a good mom02:27 Welcome, Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa03:10 Who is Dhivya?04:17 What actually makes a "good mom"?06:43 The fake metrics we judge parents by09:16 The guilt of wanting to work21:14 Going into labor in the operating room26:15 Maternity leave in medicine is brutal28:20 Mistreated at work while pregnant37:21 Meeting her husband: radical honesty on date one43:29 Why alignment matters more than perfection45:55 Men, self-sacrifice, and equal parenting55:12 Quality time vs. quantity of time1:00:20 Reacting to viral "you have to be in the office" takes1:04:36 The miseducation of sons1:11:24 Confidence modeled by her parents1:13:46 Dealing with mom guilt: the soccer game story1:19:39 Feeling misunderstood as a parent1:21:13 Advice for women judged by their mom or mother-in-law1:28:44 Hiring help and letting go of the guilt1:30:57 Why women get judged for having nannies1:34:18 Her husband's take: "let's just get the help"1:40:26 Next episode preview: attachment styles
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On this weeks episode I am joined by Gabby Bernstein, New York Times best-selling author of 11 books and one of the most influential voices in personal growth and spirituality, joins us to unpack limiting beliefs, trauma, and what it actually takes to rebuild trust in yourself.

We talk about why manifesting fails for so many people (hint: it's not the vision board), the 4-step process Gabby uses to heal a limiting belief in real time, how she healed from addiction and childhood trauma, and how she's applying everything she's learned to parenting her son. We also get into friendships in your 30s, setting boundaries without guilt, and why willingness, not certainty, is the real starting point for change.

If you've ever felt stuck but couldn't articulate why, this episode is for you.

Gabby's book Self-Help is referenced throughout this conversation. Her new book, Unshakeable Faith, is coming soon.

⏱ Timestamps:
00:00 Opening
01:25 Meet Gabby Bernstein
02:25 Welcome & why this topic
03:26 How to start when you feel stuck
05:36 Willingness to heal: opening the door
07:44 Manifesting needs follow-through, not just belief
08:53 Recognising your own core beliefs
11:39 The 4 steps to healing a limiting belief
15:17 How Gabby met her husband
18:14 Gabby's story: addiction and healing
20:41 Healing after loss and grief
22:53 Solitude, fellowship and community
24:06 Friendships in your 30s
29:45 Working through "I can't trust people"
31:54 Relief and sadness in recognising your patterns
33:40 Dissociation and remembering trauma
35:18 Parenting through personal development
39:17 Becoming your own inner parent
40:22 Finding a partner who respects your journey
41:14 Practising patience with yourself and others
42:20 Trauma vs. limiting beliefs
43:32 Understanding your protector parts
44:51 Why manifesting doesn't work for most people
46:57 Overcoming fear of confronting your patterns
48:17 What is self energy?
49:36 You can't force someone else to change
52:27 Setting boundaries without guilt
53:22 Self-forgiveness and daily practices
54:36 Trusting the universe and faith
56:49 Closing & where to see Gabby next

🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast

✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/

Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠
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Can you prepare for a life you’ve never lived before?

In this deeply personal solo episode of A Millennial Mind, I share how I’m preparing for motherhood while trying to protect something I’ve spent the last six years building: my podcast, my work and a part of my identity.

I’m walking you through the exact framework I’ve used to prepare for a season where my time, energy and priorities are about to change from setting realistic deadlines and building in a buffer, to defining non-negotiables, systemising my work and learning to let go of perfection.

But this isn’t just about pregnancy.

It’s about preparing for any season of life where you know you won’t have the same time, energy or capacity you once did.

If you’re entering a new chapter, building a business, navigating motherhood, moving, recovering from burnout or simply trying to make space for what matters most, I hope this episode reminds you that you don’t have to do everything perfectly. You just have to decide what matters most and do your best.

In this episode:

• Preparing your life for a major transition
• The reality of becoming a mother
• Matrescence and changing identity
• How I’m preparing A Millennial Mind for motherhood
• Why consistency matters more than perfection
• The 4-step framework I’m using
• Setting deadlines and building buffers
• Defining your non-negotiables
• Systemising and batch-recording your work
• Learning what to keep and what to let go
• Giving yourself grace when things don’t go to plan

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