John’s Breaking Point: Why Some Men Stay in Miserable Marriages
In today’s Dear DSO episode, I read a letter from a guy I’ll call John. He’s reached the end of his rope. His wife drinks heavily, refuses therapy, hasn’t been intimate with him in years, and contributes nothing to the family or household. Meanwhile, John’s doing it all — cooking, cleaning, parenting, working full-time — and he’s still trying to “make it work.”If you’ve ever found yourself trapped in a relationship like this, wondering what’s wrong with you for staying… this one’s going to hit home. I talk about why so many men hang on to something that’s clearly dead, the psychological trap that keeps them stuck, and why the real work isn’t about fixing her — it’s about fixing yourself.I also share what I told John privately about the importance of therapy, male friendships, and finding a group of men who will call you out and help you rebuild your life.👉 Join the Brotherhood: helpformen.com/join 👉 Get early access to my upcoming book REBUILD – The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man: helpformen.com/rebuild
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11:23
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11:23
When Chaos at Home Turns You Into Someone You Don’t Recognize
In this episode, I share a powerful story from a listener who has lived through 17 years of marital chaos. On paper, he’s a hardworking, successful man—a career in medicine, a thriving real estate business, and five kids. But behind the scenes, his marriage has been a war zone: false accusations, secret fertility treatments, volatility, and finally his wife moving three hours away with the children.In the middle of all this, he admits he lost himself—turning to affairs and even escorting—becoming a man he barely recognizes. Now, with his teenage daughter reaching out about her mother’s abuse, he’s finally facing the truth and taking steps to fight for custody.This is a raw reminder that living in dysfunction doesn’t make you stronger—it makes you weaker. If you’re in chaos, you need to draw the line before you lose everything, including yourself.Submit your own story: deardso.comJoin the HFM Brotherhood today!
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10:49
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10:49
When She Denies the Affair and Calls You “Insecure”
In this episode, I respond to a listener email from a man who caught his wife sneaking around with ‘just a friend.’ Even when confronted, she flips it on him and calls him insecure. Why do cheaters deny and gaslight instead of owning up? I break it all down—and talk about what men need to do in this situation.Submit your own story to Dear DSO.Join the HFM Brotherhood today!
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9:49
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9:49
When a Wife Walks Away After 30 Years: Midlife Crisis, Perimenopause, or Something Else?
In this episode, I respond to a listener email from a man whose wife left him after 33 years of marriage. She had an affair, moved 2,000 miles away, and says she’s finally living for herself. Is this midlife crisis? Perimenopause? Or just long-simmering resentment finally boiling over? I break it all down—and more importantly, talk about what men can do when blindsided like this.Submit your own story to Deardso.comJoin The HFM Brotherhood!
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16:09
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16:09
“30 Years Married… But Now Just Roommates”
A man wrote in after 30+ years of marriage. Three kids, a successful career, a busy and interesting life—he’s fit, adventurous, and still chasing growth at 61 years old.The problem? His wife has completely checked out sexually. No intimacy, no affection, not even a kiss on the cheek. Even hormone therapy hasn’t changed anything. He loves her, doesn’t want divorce, but he’s dying inside.
Welcome to the Dad Starting Over podcast! "Starting Over" means different things to different people. It could be that you're newly divorced and starting over fresh with a new life. It could be that you're still married and wanting to hit the reset button and finally do things right within your marriage. Whatever your story may be, you're in the right place.
I'm Ralph, a.k.a DSO, the author of books called "The Dead Bedroom Fix", "Divorce Panic", "Real Talk" and "Red Flags". You can learn more about me, my books, one-on-one coaching, and the member-only part of my site called the Brotherhood at https://helpformen.com
New Zealand