Lift the Shame: The Podcast - Mothering Free From Diet Culture, Food Guilt, and Body Shame

Why Doing the Opposite Isn’t Enough
Maybe you entered motherhood with a list of promises:
I’ll never control food the way it was controlled for me.
I’ll never comment on my child’s body.
I’ll never make hunger feel shameful.
I’ll do everything differently.
Those promises can be deeply meaningful. Sometimes “not that” is exactly where cycle-breaking begins.
But eventually, motherhood asks us something harder:
If every choice is based on doing the opposite of what happened to us, is the past still making the decision?
In this episode of Lift the Shame, we’re exploring what happens when cycle-breaking becomes another form of reaction—and how recovery can help us move from simply avoiding old patterns toward choosing flexible, values-consistent responses in the present.
We’ll talk about why opposite parenting can be an important first step, how old protective strategies sometimes show up in new forms, why freedom and structure aren’t necessarily opposites, and how differentiation can help us ask not only “What don’t I want to repeat?” but “What am I actually trying to build?”
Because healing isn’t about pretending the past doesn’t matter.
It’s about letting the past become information rather than instruction.
🌿 A Gentle Invitation
The next time you hear yourself thinking:
I’ll never do what was done to me…
pause.
You don’t have to dismiss that instinct.
Instead, ask:
What am I protecting here?
What does my child actually need from me right now?
What response fits the parent I want to be?
The goal isn’t to forget where you came from.
It’s to have more freedom in deciding where you go next.

For more support, join our community for mothers in eating disorder recovery, Lift the Shame: https://www.crystalkarges.com/lift-the-shame-online-support-group
You're not alone.


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When My Child Changed, My Eating Disorder Got Loud Again
Maybe you were doing okay.
Your recovery felt steadier. Food took up less space. You had learned how to recognize some of the old voices without automatically following them.
And then your child changed.
Their appetite grew.
Their body changed.
They entered puberty.
They started asking questions about food or bodies.
They reached an age that reminded you of yourself.
And suddenly, something you thought you’d already worked through got loud again.
In this episode of Lift the Shame, we’re talking about the surprising ways our children’s development can brush against our own histories—and why feeling activated by a new season of motherhood doesn’t automatically mean you’re going backward.
Sometimes motherhood simply brings us to parts of our stories we haven’t had to meet this way before.
We’ll explore how a child’s changing body or appetite can activate old associations, why shame about being triggered can make these moments even harder, how to begin separating your child’s experience from your own, and what it might mean to let an old protective pattern become information rather than instruction.
Because recovery isn’t static.
It’s relational.
And every season of motherhood may ask something different of it.
🌿 A Gentle Invitation
The next time something about your child’s changing body, appetite, or development brings an old voice close to the surface, pause before deciding what that reaction means about you.
Try asking:
What is this moment touching in me?
And then:
Whose story am I in right now?
You don’t have to make the old reaction disappear.
You can notice it without handing it forward.
If you are a mother in eating disorder recovery, check out our free virtual support group, Lift the Shame. You're not alone.


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The Lunchbox Was Never About the Lunch
Why can packing a school lunch feel so unexpectedly emotional?
For many mothers—especially those navigating eating disorder recovery—the lunchbox can become much more than a container for food.
It becomes a place where love, fear, hope, responsibility, and the desire to “get it right” quietly collide.
In this episode of Lift the Shame, we’re exploring why ordinary school mornings can carry so much invisible weight—and how the desire to give our children a different relationship with food can sometimes turn awareness into vigilance.
Because sometimes we’re not only packing lunch.
We’re trying to pack safety. Food freedom. Body trust. Protection. Maybe even the hope that our children will never struggle the way we did.
That’s a lot to ask of a lunchbox.
We’ll explore why feeding children can feel especially emotionally loaded in eating disorder recovery, how breaking cycles can quietly become another form of pressure, the difference between influence and control, and what it might look like to care deeply without asking one meal to guarantee our child’s future.
Because this lunch can nourish your child.
It doesn’t have to carry the whole story.
🌿 A Gentle Invitation
Tomorrow morning, before you close the lunchbox, pause for one slow breath.
Notice everything you may be trying to fit inside it—nourishment, love, protection, healing, hope.
Then gently remind yourself:
“This lunch doesn’t have to carry everything.”
Close the lid.
Let lunch be lunch.
And let the relationship keep unfolding.
P.S. If feeding your children keeps bringing tender parts of your own recovery to the surface, you don’t have to navigate that alone. Lift the Shame is my free monthly support space for mothers navigating eating disorder recovery through motherhood.
There’s room for what you’re carrying, too.
[Join Lift the Shame]


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I’m Trying So Hard Not to Pass This On
“What if my child ends up struggling because of me?”
If you’ve ever asked yourself that question, you’re not alone.
For many mothers navigating eating disorder recovery, one of the deepest fears isn’t only their own healing—it’s the possibility that the food fears, body shame, or wounds they’ve worked so hard to untangle might somehow become part of their child’s story.
And sometimes that fear can make motherhood feel like constant surveillance.
Watching what you say.
Watching what they eat.
Watching how they talk about their body.
Replaying the comment you wish you hadn’t made.
Wondering whether one imperfect moment means you’ve already done damage.
In this episode of Lift the Shame, we’re staying with that fear—and gently questioning the enormous responsibility mothers can place on themselves when “I want things to be different for my child” quietly becomes “Then I can never get this wrong.”
Because eating disorders are complex. You have influence, but you do not have total control. And breaking a generational cycle doesn’t require you to become a perfectly healed mother.
Sometimes it looks much more ordinary than that.
Noticing.
Getting curious.
Seeking support.
Taking responsibility.
Coming back.
Repairing when something needs repair.
And allowing the relationship to be bigger than one hard moment.
In this episode, we’ll explore how the desire to protect our children can turn into hypervigilance, why influence and control are not the same thing, how to think about repair without turning it into another standard to perform perfectly, and what it might really mean to change what gets passed down.
Because your children aren’t only witnessing your wounds.
They’re also witnessing what you do with them. 
🌿 A Gentle Invitation
If there’s a moment you’ve been replaying lately, instead of asking:
“Did I ruin something?”
I wonder if you could ask:
“Is there anything here I want to return to?”
Maybe there is.
Maybe there isn’t.
But if something needs tending, repair doesn’t have to be elaborate.
Sometimes healing happens in the quiet moment when we decide to come back.
For more, check out Lift the Shame, our free virtual support group & community for mothers and moms-to-be in eating disorder recovery: https://www.crystalkarges.com/lift-the-shame-online-support-group


Get full access to Lift The Shame: The Column at crystalkarges.substack.com/subscribe

The Family Photos I Almost Disappeared From
Have you ever volunteered to be the one behind the camera?
Not because you love taking pictures—but because it felt easier than being in them?
For many mothers navigating eating disorder recovery or body image struggles, family photos aren’t just about preserving memories. They can become moments where shame quietly asks us to disappear.
In this episode of Lift the Shame, we’re exploring what happens when body shame convinces us that the people we love deserve to remember everyone except us.
Together, we’ll gently untangle the fear of being seen, the stories we’ve carried about our bodies, and the deeper truth that our children aren’t looking for perfection—they’re looking for us.
Because one day, those photographs won’t simply remind your family what you looked like.
They’ll remind them that you were there.
In this episode, we’ll explore:
Why family photos can feel unexpectedly vulnerable in eating disorder recovery
The quiet ways shame asks mothers to disappear from their own lives
How body image struggles can steal memories long before they steal photographs
A compassionate way to begin choosing presence over perfection, one small moment at a time

A gentle invitation…
Before you put your camera away this week, I wonder if you might let someone else take just one photo of you.
Not because you’ve finally learned to love every part of your body.
But because your story is happening now.
And you deserve to be part of it.

If today’s conversation resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. You can reply to this week’s Substack email or join us at one of our free Lift the Shame support circles—a gentle space where mothers navigating eating disorder recovery can feel seen, understood, and less alone.
Join Lift the Shame here: https://www.crystalkarges.com/lift-the-shame-online-support-group


Get full access to Lift The Shame: The Column at crystalkarges.substack.com/subscribe