Office Hours with Arthur Brooks

Today’s topic: love. Forget Valentine’s Day—where romance only happens once a year. Try my new book, The Meaning of Your Life, out March 31, where I describe how to make love lifelong.
Many people today feel discouraged about love. Fewer people are getting married, fewer are falling in love, and more are opting out of romance altogether. This isn’t just a personal problem—it’s a cultural one.
In this episode of Office Hours, I explore what’s happening to romantic love and why it matters so deeply to our sense of meaning in life. Drawing on neuroscience, psychology, and ancient wisdom, I examine what love actually is, what happens when we fall in love, and why heartbreak is often a necessary part of learning to love well. I also share three practical rules for finding love in a time when many people are afraid to risk it at all.
This episode isn’t about dating advice or quick fixes. It’s about understanding love as one of the most powerful paths to meaning, growth, and a life well lived, even when it doesn’t come easily.
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Where to find Arthur Brooks: 
• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Timestamps:
(00:00) Intro
(03:34) Arthur and Ester’s love story 
(06:44) Why entrepreneurial love stories are dwindling
(07:44) Data on the decline in love, marriage, and sex
(11:10) What happens when you’re falling in love
(23:37) Why relationships don’t work out 
(26:42) The mystical side of romantic love
(30:40) What love is and why the English language falls short of explaining it
(35:10) Love lessons from the Greeks 
(40:25) Rule 1: Take more risks
(48:01) Rule 2: Look for your complement 
(52:02) Rule 3: Don’t fear the breakup 
(55:52) Q&A: Are there different types of decision-makers
(57:10) Q&A: The effects of cold plunges
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Referenced:
• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.amazon.com/Meaning-Your-Life-Finding-Emptiness/dp/0593545427
• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale
•Understanding the Science of Love: A Practical Guide: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/love 
• Don Quixote: https://www.amazon.com/Quixote-Penguin-Classics-Cervantes-Saavedra/dp/0142437239
• Oxytocin: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22618-oxytocin 
• Vasopressin: https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/neuroscience/vasopressin
• The sociopaths among us: How to spot (and avoid) a Dark Triad: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/the-sociopaths-among-us-how-to-spot-and-avoid-a-dark-triad 
• Emophilia: An overlooked (but not forgotten) construct in relationships and individual differences: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886924000114 
• 3 Steps to Managing Your Emotions: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/3-steps-to-managing-your-emotions
• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠
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If you’ve been feeling empty or lonely and are looking for immediate solutions, I hope today’s episode helps—and if you want to go deeper, you can order my new book, The Meaning of Your Life, out March 31.
Today’s topic: the loneliness epidemic. We know more people than ever before, but do we actually know them? In a world of constant connection, many people still feel unseen, unknown, and disconnected from those around them.
In this episode of Office Hours, I explore why loneliness has become so widespread and how it shows up in our relationships. I talk about the difference between being known and being understood, why feeling understood matters so much for happiness, and how modern habits and technologies can make it easier to stay in touch while avoiding real connection.
Change means pushing back against our instincts and doing things that feel like the opposite of what we want. That can sound daunting, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. In this episode, I share four simple habits that, with practice, become easier and help lay the groundwork for more meaningful relationships.
If you’ve been feeling lonely, this episode explores what happens when we stop waiting for that feeling to fix itself.
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Brought to you by:
• ⁠David Protein⁠—The most effective portable protein on the planet ⁠http://www.davidprotein.com/arthur⁠ ⁠⁠⁠
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Where to find Arthur Brooks: 
• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
—
Timestamps:
(00:00) Introduction
(04:31) What Edgar Allan Poe’s life reveals about loneliness
(07:39) The difference between being known and being understood
(09:43) Why feeling known is essential for happiness
(12:38) What fMRI studies reveal about being understood
(15:33) Give what you want to get in relationships
(17:01) Why being known by your spouse matters for happiness
(18:30) Why loneliness is rising among young people and the role of technology
(19:27) How loneliness becomes self-reinforcing
(21:08) Strategy #1: The opposite signal strategy
(24:15) Strategy #2: Proactively knowing others
(27:28) Strategy #3: Asking more questions
(30:33) Strategy #4: Putting your phone away
(32:15) Why loneliness requires proactive effort
(33:16) Q&A: Which times of day matter most for limiting screens?
(34:47) Q&A: How can you let go of shame around anxiety?
—
Referenced:
• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.amazon.com/Meaning-Your-Life-Finding-Emptiness/dp/0593545427
• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 
• Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World: https://www.amazon.com/Together-Connection-Performance-Greater-Happiness/dp/0062913298
• “Alone” by Edgar Allan Poe: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46477/alone-56d2265f2667d 
• New Cigna Study Reveals Loneliness at Epidemic Levels in America: https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/new-cigna-study-reveals-loneliness-at-epidemic-levels-in-america-300639747.html 
• The Good Life: Lessons From the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11575524 
• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours
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I’ve hinted at this before, but in my new book, The Meaning of Your Life, I explore where meaning actually comes from—one place, for example, is by serving others with our time and treasure. However, you certainly won’t find it in the worldly idols we so often chase. This all brings us to today’s topic—money.
Most people assume that having more money will make them happier. The research suggests something more subtle. What matters is not how much money you have, but how you use it.
In this episode of Office Hours, I am joined by Dave Ramsey, one of the most influential voices in personal finance, whose work has helped millions of people change their relationship with money. Dave shares his own journey from early financial success to bankruptcy and back, and how his faith shapes his thinking about debt, discipline, and financial peace.
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Where to find Dave Ramsey:
• X: https://x.com/daveramsey
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramsey-dave
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/daveramsey
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/daveramsey 
• Website: https://www.ramseysolutions.com
Where to find Arthur Brooks: 
• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Timestamps:
(00:00) Intro
(05:14) Dave’s early experiences with entrepreneurship and money 
(07:30) How Dave’s early career success gave way to financial collapse
(10:54) Why borrowing money tends to undermine happiness
(13:34) Dave’s path back to prosperity 
(16:43) What financial peace means 
(18:07) How serving others contributes to long-term happiness
(19:45) How hope supports lasting change
(21:20) Why intentionality matters most
(23:37) Why things won’t bring you happiness 
(27:12) How the credit system’s lack of guardrails sets people up to fail
(29:02) Why credit card debt is especially damaging to well-being
(30:00) Why people make poor financial decisions 
(32:25) Why car debt is usually a poor investment
(35:16) How to get an education without taking on excessive debt
(38:40) Why mortgage debt doesn’t lower happiness when kept in check
(41:25) A framework for thinking about debt and savings 
(42:21) Why generosity is linked to greater prosperity 
(48:14) Q&A: How to stop being so stressed about money
(50:14) Q&A: How to make a savings plan for college 
(52:58) Dave’s six big principles for money and happiness
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Referenced:
• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.amazon.com/Meaning-Your-Life-Finding-Emptiness/dp/0593545427
• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 
• Good credit, bad credit: The differential role of the sources of debt in life satisfaction: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/joca.12388 
• Financial Peace: https://www.amazon.com/Financial-Peace-Dave-Ramsey/dp/0963571206
• What Is the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility?: https://www.investopedia.com/terms/l/lawofdiminishingutility.asp 
• Why You’re Better Off Not Borrowing: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/02/debt-borrowing-happiness/677303
• How your bank balance buys happiness: The importance of “cash on hand” to life satisfaction: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2016-17475-001
• ...References continued at: ⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours
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Most advice about anxiety is wrong.

“Don’t think about it.” “Let it go.” “Stop worrying.”

In this clip, I explain why that advice actually makes anxiety worse, and I teach a practical technique that does the opposite: the Anxiety Journal.

You’ll learn how to take vague, haunting anxiety and turn it into clear, structured fear by writing down your worst-case scenario, best-case scenario, and most-likely scenario, then assigning probabilities and planning responses for each. This simple act moves anxiety out of the emotional centers of your brain and into your executive, decision-making system, where it becomes manageable.

Instead of running from anxiety, you’ll learn how to focus it, quantify it, and prepare for it. The result isn’t avoidance—it’s courage, clarity, and control.
This is the same method I teach my students, use myself, and recommend to anyone who wants to stop being ruled by anxious thoughts and start directing them instead.

Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/
Pre-order My New Book: https://TheMeaningOfYourLife.com
Newsletter: https://arthurbrooks.com/newsletter
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Instagram: https://instagram.com/arthurcbrooks
Facebook: https://facebook.com/arthurbrooks
YouTube: @drarthurbrooks
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/
Email: [email protected]

If you wake up feeling uneasy or heavy before the day even starts, you’re not alone. Morning anxiety is incredibly common, and it has a biological explanation.

About 30 to 45 minutes after waking, your brain releases a natural spike of cortisol, the stress hormone designed to help you get moving. For those of us who feel emotions intensely, that surge can make mornings feel turbulent. I know this feeling well, and over the years, I’ve learned how to manage it.

On the topic of morning routines, I created a guide with six simple, science-backed practices that make your morning calmer and more focused. I created it in the hope that even if you're able to adopt one or two of the 6 protocols, your morning will get easier. You can get it here: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/6-protocols. In this clip, I explain why you wake up anxious and share the science-backed routine that changed my mornings completely.

You’ll learn:- How the brain’s limbic system produces both positive and negative emotions, and why you need both to stay balanced.- Why some people naturally have higher “negative emotionality,” and how to work with that temperament instead of fighting it.- What ancient wisdom calls Brahma Muhurta — “the Creator’s Hour," and why modern research supports waking before dawn.- How sleep timing, light exposure, and intentional structure can calm your nervous system before the day begins.

Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/Ckzw9Bb3GaM?si=JoSNR5vPDvCMX29KGet my new book, 'The Happiness Files' here: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Files-Insights-Arthur-Brooks/dp/B0F4MFQ6VNConnect and Subscribe:Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/Newsletter: https://arthurbrooks.com/newsletterX (Twitter): https://x.com/arthurbrooksInstagram: https://instagram.com/arthurcbrooksFacebook: https://facebook.com/arthurbrooksYouTube: @drarthurbrooksLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/Email: [email protected]