LOVERS by shan

In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by my husband Jared Brady to tell the story of the exact day we decided to call our relationship an open relationship.
Want to take the Relationship Style quiz I mentioned in the episode? Click HERE
https://www.loversbyshan.com/quizzes
In this episode, Shan Boodram and Jared Brady share intimate details from the early days of their relationship that led to them choosing to label their love as an open relationship.
If your first reaction to “open relationship” is “so… cheating?” you’re not alone, and this conversation is also for you.
Cheating isn’t about a specific behavior, it’s about breaking the rules of the relationship you agreed to play by, which is why it’s important to clearly define YOUR rules together.
This episode explores why people seek structured relationships even without exclusivity, what commitment actually looks like when it isn’t defined by romantic restriction, and how accountability, emotional safety, partnership, and love can exist outside traditional scripts.
This isn’t an episode about convincing anyone to open their relationship. It’s about clarity, consent, and understanding why the rules matter more than the label.
Follow Jared
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady
YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKVWwEy39GLNzKXXt9v46TA

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Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Conflict is inevitable in long-term relationships. Damage doesn’t have to be.

In this episode, we explore what actually separates fights that bring couples closer from fights that quietly turn lovers into enemies. We talk about the moment arguments go sideways, why so many conflicts feel bigger than the issue at hand, and how couples can stay on the same team even when they fundamentally disagree.

Our guest, Touré Neblett, draws on decades of navigating high-stakes, contentious conversations both publicly and privately to share what he’s learned about emotional regulation, repair, and conflict inside a long-term marriage. This conversation focuses on how disagreement can exist without contempt, and how learning to fight differently can fundamentally change the trajectory of a relationship.

Follow Touré
Website → https://toure.com Toure
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/toureshow/ Instagram
YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo-SwvkGbQgDt3oXfASPPJQ youtube.com
Podcast → Touré Show (Apple/Spotify)
Books → Who’s Afraid of Post-Blackness? What It Means to Be Black Now; I Would Die 4 U: Why Prince Became an Icon; Soul City; Never Drank the Kool-Aid; The Portable Promised Land; Nothing Compares 2 U (available on Amazon and major booksellers)

Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, I share the deeper psychological lessons inside the new Diddy documentary, not to debate guilt or innocence, but to understand the human systems that create cycles of power, harm, silence, and attachment. This isn’t a Hollywood story or an industry story. It’s a human story. The documentary made Diddy feel more human rather than less, and that’s what makes it so unsettling. When you look closely at the incentives, the grooming, the rewards, the fear, the validation, and the primal drives behind the behavior, you start to see a spectrum that exists in all of us — the universal instincts for status, belonging, intimacy, dominance, and connection.

I also talk about Cassie, Kirk Burrowes, and the partners who stayed inside that ecosystem, not to blame but to understand the psychological gravity of coercive control. When we understand the forces acting on people — the love-bombing, the fear, the dependency, the identity fusion — we gain clarity on why people stay, why people participate, and why some people break free. This video is ultimately about human nature, accountability, restraint, and how to build relationships where love and power don’t collapse into each other.

If you or someone you care about has experienced sexual assault or abuse, you are not alone. For confidential, 24/7 support from trained specialists, visit RAINN: https://rainn.org/

In an emergency, dial 911 or seek help from someone you trust.

Want more Lover?

Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com

Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter

Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community

Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

Did you know, in 2023, more than 39,000 people were diagnosed with HIV in the United States and six territories, with Hispanic and Black individuals each accounting for more than a third (Source. CDC)

In this episode of LOVERS, Shan sits down with Jonathan Van Ness for a conversation about receiving an HIV diagnosis, the years he kept it private, and the moment he decided he wanted the story to come from him. Jonathan shares what it felt like to catch himself holding back during interviews, how choosing to speak changed his relationship with his own truth, and the sense of relief that followed once he stopped protecting something that shaped so much of his life.

They also talk about the realities of HIV today, why knowing your status matters, and how tools like PrEP fit into the larger picture of staying informed and reducing stigma.

Follow Jonathan Van Ness
Website → https://jonathanvanness.com/
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/jvn
YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/jvn
JVN Hair → https://jvnhair.com/
Podcast → https://jonathanvanness.com/podcasts/
Books → https://jonathanvanness.com/books/

Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY RYU, our little munchkin just turned FIVE!
And while Thanksgiving week is here, Jared and I felt like it was the perfect moment to sit together and talk about being parents. 

Somewhere between the sleepless nights, tiny victories, meltdown moments, and unexpected laughter, Ryu taught us something surprising: sometimes, love is giving someone your dirty socks.

(It’s her quote, and honestly… she’s not wrong.)

Together, we explore:
✨ How becoming parents reshapes the way you love and the way you’re loved
✨ The unexpected emotional cost and reward of raising strong-willed children
✨ A reflection on why we are the way we are

A conversation for anyone navigating love, partnership, and the wild joy of raising tiny humans.

—
⭐ Follow Jared
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady/?hl=en

Music Monday
YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKVWwEy39GLNzKXXt9v46TA

⭐ Want more Lovers?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.