SWM 151 – AQ – Oral Sex Norms, Fantasy Guilt & Rekindling Passion
We haven’t done a round up of our anonymous questions for a while. These are actually questions going all the way back to January of this year. For those who are new, these questions come in from our anonymous Have A Question page. They have no contact information, and so we only get whatever they put in the text box as we can’t reach out to get more context. I posted the questions in our supporter’s forum where they were discussed and eventually became a blog post and a podcast episode.
So, if you have a question of your own you can’t find an answer to, or are afraid to ask anywhere else, you can ask it there, or join our supporter’s forum where you can ask anything you want anonymously as well.
But for now, we’re going to get on with these questions.
Question 1 – Cunnilingus after ejaculation
Do most guys enjoy cunnilingus after ejaculation?
I don’t have any stats on how many, I’m afraid. I could not find a survey on it anywhere, nor have we asked that question in any of our surveys.
I do know that some men definitely do enjoy it, and often quite passionately. Some have been very not-shy about sharing just how much they like it, and also how much their partners (not always married) also enjoy receiving it.
There’s another group of men who want to, but don’t, either because they’re afraid of judgement from the partner or because they errantly believe that ingesting their own semen while performing oral sex on their wife is somehow a homosexual act.
There’s yet another group of men who want to, but as soon as they ejaculate, suddenly they lose interest – likely because of the phenomenon where what you think is distasteful changes before and after orgasm.
And then of course there are those who have no interest, for a variety of reasons.
If I had to guess, it would be that “most” men haven’t ever tried it for a variety of reasons, and so have no idea if they enjoy it or not.
I will try to ask this question the next time I do a survey about oral sex though.
Question 2 – Oral after anal
My boyfriend is really into oral after anal. Really into it. I’m not sure where I am on this. Feels kinda degrading. Wondering if I’m overthinking it. Seems to be a common thing. Am I being too uptight not to try it?
You should never do anything that you’re uncomfortable doing. It doesn’t matter if it’s common, it doesn’t matter if you think you’re overthinking it, and I definitely don’t think you should do anything you feel is degrading. I think anyone who is pressuring you to do something you feel is degrading isn’t being very loving.
Now, that said, I do think there are times when it’s appropriate to check your feelings and see if they’re valid, as this woman is doing.
In this particular situation, yeah, there are a lot of reasons not to.
* You’re not married, so you shouldn’t be having any sort of sex, vaginal, anal, oral, or oral after anal.
* There are definitely health risks and concerns with oral sex after anal. There’s a chance of E. coli and Shigella bacterial transfer.
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