Club Sandwich

Melissa Reader provides an update on Vera's FACES campaign.

FACES (Families for Aged Care Equity and Support) is a family-led campaign asking for one honest count of the number of people waiting for their aged care funding and the people who die while they're waiting. Add your name at vera.guide/faces.

Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you.
Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au
This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian — search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.
Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

She found out she was a carer from a line buried in her dad's hospital discharge papers, not from anyone asking her. This week's guest lived the exact crisis she'd spent her career trying to fix.
Content note: this episode discusses the deaths of both of the guest's parents within six months of each other, terminal illness, carer burnout, grief, and systemic failures in aged care support. For support: Carer Gateway 1800 422 737. Griefline 1300 845 745. Lifeline 13 11 14, 24/7.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community
In this episode:
The Conversation: Gohar Yazdabadi, CEO of Council on the Ageing (COTA) NSW, joins Sarah Macdonald to talk about losing both her parents within six months of each other this year, her father to a brain tumour and stroke, her mother to ovarian cancer and leukaemia, while raising two young daughters and running a full-time advocacy organisation. She didn't realise she was a carer until a hospital discharge note said "daughter is experiencing extreme carer stress." Covers the year-long wait for an approved home-care package that meant her dad couldn't be safely discharged from hospital, being refused compassionate-grounds after-school care, and the administrative burden, estates, probate, emptying a 35-year family home, that continued after both deaths.

This Week's Hack: If a system, a form or a person finally names what you're carrying, whether it's "carer stress" or something else, let that be the moment you ask for help, even if it feels too late or too small. The acknowledgement doesn't change anything on its own, but it's permission to stop pretending you're fine.

Send this to: anyone juggling two ageing parents at once, or anyone who's ever had their caring role questioned or dismissed by a system that's meant to help.

A moment that stays: "No part or period of a relationship makes that relationship or defines that relationship," Gohar says. The hardest twelve months of caring for her parents wasn't what defined her whole relationship with them, and she's consciously working to remember the joy, not just the crisis.
Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.
About Gohar Yazdabadi: CEO, Council on the Ageing (COTA) NSW, the peak advocacy body for older people in NSW. Also this week: Gohar features in an ABC Compass special on the sandwich generation, presented by Sarah Macdonald, airing this weekend 8-9 Aug 2026 (on iView after).
Put The Kettle On, Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au.
Our FACES campaign: Last year, 4,812 older Australians died waiting for the aged care they'd already been approved for, about 13 a day. Vera started FACES to count the people waiting, and count the ones we lose, every quarter, published. If you're sitting in that wait with your mum or dad right now, add your name at vera.guide/faces.
This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services: australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.
Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A will is only useful when you're dead, but the rest of the paperwork is critical long before that. This week's guest lives and breathes it for a living.
Marie Brownell, Director of Estate Planning and Administration at NSW Trustee and Guardian, joins Sarah Macdonald to explain what a power of attorney, an enduring power of attorney, an enduring guardianship and a will each actually do, who needs one, and why doing them together in one sitting makes life easier later.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community
In this episode:
This Week's Hack: Getting a will, power of attorney and enduring guardianship done properly doesn't have to cost much, a few hundred dollars through a public trustee, and it's free if your mum or dad is on a full pension. Do all three documents together in one sitting if you can.
Send this to: whoever in your family keeps meaning to "get around to" their will, and anyone who's ever been an executor and found out how messy it can get.
A moment that stays: mid-recording, Sarah realised live on air that she isn't sure her own mum's paperwork is complete, she thinks she has power of attorney but not enduring guardianship. Marie's reply: "you need the whole shebang."
Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.
About Marie Brownell: Director of Estate Planning and Administration at NSW Trustee and Guardian, specialising in wills, powers of attorney and enduring guardianship.
Put The Kettle On, Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au.
Our FACES campaign: Last year, 4,812 older Australians died waiting for the aged care they'd already been approved for, about 13 a day. Vera started FACES to count the people waiting, and count the ones we lose, every quarter, published. If you're sitting in that wait with your mum or dad right now, add your name at vera.guide/faces.
This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services: australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.
Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Melissa Reader on the launch of Vera's new FACES campaign.

FACES (Families for Aged Care Equity and Support) is a family-led campaign asking for one honest count of the number of people waiting for their aged care funding and the people who die while they're waiting. Add your name at vera.guide/faces.

Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you.
Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au
This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian — search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.
Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your kid finished school years ago. They're 22, or 27, or 33. So why are you still doing their washing? Clinical psychologist Jo Lamble is in the chair for the layer of the sandwich generation nobody names.
Content note: this is a lighter, funnier episode than most, although the last few minutes touch briefly on ageing parents and visiting a grandparent in aged care. For support: Relationships Australia 1300 364 277 (relationships.org.au). Carer Gateway 1800 422 737. Lifeline 13 11 14, 24/7.
JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community
In this episode:
The Conversation: Clinical psychologist and regular Clubber Jo Lamble joins Sarah Macdonald to talk about adult children still living at home, or boomeranging back — why cushioning them stops working the moment they finish school, the anxiety of waiting up at night (and why earplugs actually help), the four-layer club sandwich of caring for an ageing parent, yourself, adult kids and grandkids all at once, and why "we've got to advertise adulthood" instead of just surviving it.
This Week's Hack: Stop parenting, start being flatmates. Call a house meeting. Announce it, don't slide it in sideways. Agree on the basics a good flatmate keeps: give each other space, split the chores, don't comment on clothes or friends, and raise problems on the spot instead of storing them up for three months and exploding.
Send this to: whoever is still doing their 25-year-old's washing, or anyone who feels like a nag for asking their adult kid to do their own.
A moment that stays: Jo's line for anyone who thinks it's "not fair" to want a life outside caregiving — some young adults are choosing not to have kids because they watched their own mum run herself ragged and never once look like she was enjoying it. We've got to advertise adulthood.
Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.
About Jo Lamble: Clinical psychologist, author and a regular Clubber on the show, specialising in family dynamics, guilt and boundaries.
Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au
This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.
With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian — search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.
Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.