Live IFS

🔸 Judging grace
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
I'm off-base when I finish her sentences, but she moves so quickly, I feel like my questions often slow her down, so it’s all I can offer. And I get struck by these feelings of serendipity; like in this call, trying to keep up at top speed but also miraculously not falling, I pictured a couple of squirrels chasing each other in the tree. Then she mentions a tree house, and I have to check if I'm dreaming. And I'm holding back laughter, in wonder at how a squirrel knows where to leap. There are pros and cons to this kind of resonance, at times distracting. But if you notice our work being significantly impaired by it, to please speak up.

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🔸 Practitioner qualifications

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Talking too much. Sorry, Christine. Semi-IFS calls (when someone wants to talk about a thing, outside of usual IFS schedule) are tricky.
Re: "how it feels when mom says…" I felt like protectors wouldn’t let us go there, so I decided to drop it. I chose "return to topic" due to time pressure (she starts her new role like tomorrow!) so I figured we could try to put a bow on that, revisit the deeper stuff In future work. I was feeling strong pull to direct access… I gotta check that inclination of mine.
Also I'm aware there's plenty of hard science in psychology and therapy. And I think it’s fair to say that it advances, in practice, by people trying stuff and seeing if it works (difficult to measure). The *most* influential (ie the Buddha) didn't do much publishing, peer review, outcome studies. “Parts are a thing, and I can talk to voices in my head” may always be an instantiated belief, and the anecdotal evidence, the ratio of “things are better” vs “worse” that I hear is sufficient proof for me.

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🔸 Healthy anger. Explode or do nothing.

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🔸 My father: I've had enough / would like some resolution

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
The way Steve frequently shares his somatic state is so helpful; something I'm missing by doing audio-only. I should add it to my default, "use anytime" set of questions.
Around min 31, I struggled to find the simple question. "How did his being closed minded make you feel silenced?" hmm, no that doesn't capture it…. if I just say "whats the connection…?" that feels too blunt. Maybe I'm working too hard to avoid that. Or maybe I'm noticing Steve can go deep, quick, so I'm avoiding those more open ended questions.

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🔸 Ah there it is again, this big mound of disappointment in myself

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