The Dudela Podcast | Fatherhood Real Talk for New Dads

Decide Who You're Going to Let Down
You cannot be everything to everyone.

At some point, someone is going to be disappointed.

Your boss wants more hours. Your friends want you at dinner. Your parents want to see you. Your house needs work. Your wife needs help. Your kids want you home.

And somewhere in the middle of all that, you're trying to find a little time for yourself.

So here's the uncomfortable question: Who are you willing to let down?

In this episode of The Dudela Podcast, John and Michael tackle one of the hardest parts of being an intentional father: deciding what actually deserves your time, energy, money, and attention when everything feels important.

Because being a good dad doesn't mean doing everything.

Sometimes it means having the courage to disappoint someone so you can show up for the people who matter most.

Michael kicks things off with the chaos of moving into a new house while Abigail is pregnant with baby number two and they're raising a toddler. Between moving expenses, unpacking, preparing a nursery, keeping up with work, and managing family life, there's a lot happening.

And when life gets that busy, it's easy to start keeping score.

Who's doing more around the house?

Who's carrying the financial responsibilities?

Who's handling the kids?

Who's making the sacrifices?

But marriage isn't a competition. And just because you don't see everything your spouse is carrying doesn't mean they aren't carrying it.

We talk about recognizing the invisible responsibilities in your relationship, communicating before resentment builds, and why keeping score is one of the fastest ways to make an already stressful season harder.

Then we get into the bigger issue.

What happens when every responsibility feels like your number one priority?

You want to provide for your family, but you also want to be present.

You want to be a good friend, but you don't want to miss bedtime.

You want to pursue opportunities, but you don't want your marriage to suffer.

You want to invest in yourself, but you feel guilty taking time away from your kids.

And sometimes, even when you're doing everything you can, it still feels like you're falling short.

John shares how he's navigating multiple professional commitments, growing Dudela, and protecting time with Viv and the girls. He explains why he and Viv have agreed to give certain opportunities a defined season before deciding which ones deserve a place in their lives moving forward.

Michael shares why saying no is difficult when you want to be a great husband, father, son, brother, and friend, and why sometimes the right decision actually means saying yes to something you've been avoiding.

We also talk about the importance of not letting yourself down.

Because if you sacrifice every hobby, friendship, and personal interest in the name of being a good dad, eventually you may find yourself exhausted, frustrated, and disconnected from the man you wanted to become.

The goal isn't to disappoint everyone else. The goal is to stop disappointing the people and priorities that matter most.

And that takes intentional decisions.

Not just once.

Every single day.

In This Episode

Why dads feel overwhelmed trying to balance everything

Moving into a new house with a pregnant wife and toddler

The financial and emotional stress of major family changes

Why keeping score in marriage creates resentment

Recognizing the invisible work your spouse does

How to communicate when responsibilities feel unequal

Balancing work, marriage, parenting, friendships, and personal time

Why being a good provider means more than earning money

Deciding who you're willing to disappoint

Setting boundaries with work, friends, and extended family

Why missing bedtime might matter more than missing a networking event

Learning when to say no and when to say yes

Making time for hobbies without sacrificing your family

Why dads shouldn't lose their identities after having kids

How to prioritize responsibilities when everything feels urgent

Using a brain dump to reduce stress and mental overload

Evaluating your calendar and financial priorities

Giving commitments a season instead of making permanent decisions

How John and Viv are evaluating professional opportunities together

Why accountability and friendships matter for dads

Finding someone you can talk to when fatherhood feels overwhelming

Why becoming a steady dad happens through daily decisions

How your children learn from the example you're setting

Feeling Overwhelmed as a Dad?
If you've ever searched for advice about balancing work and family, managing parenting stress, setting boundaries as a father, avoiding dad burnout, or making more time for your wife and kids, this conversation is for you.

Maybe you're an expecting dad wondering how you're going to balance a career with a newborn.

Maybe you're a new father struggling with sleep deprivation, financial pressure, and the responsibilities of providing for your family.

Maybe you're a working dad who feels guilty every time you leave the house.

Or maybe you're simply exhausted from trying to be everything to everyone.

You're not alone.

And you don't have to figure it all out today.

You just have to start making decisions that reflect the kind of dad you want to become.

The Brain Dump: A Simple Tool for Overwhelmed Dads
One of the most practical things we discuss in this episode is something we've talked about before at Dudela.

The Brain Dump.

When everything is swirling around in your head, get it out.

Grab a notebook, open your phone, or sit down at your computer and write down everything you're carrying.

Work responsibilities. Home projects. Financial concerns. Family commitments. Appointments. Things you've promised people. Things you want to accomplish.

All of it.

Then start asking yourself:

What actually needs my attention right now?

What can wait?

What can I delegate?

What can I say no to?

What am I doing simply because I feel obligated?

And what am I neglecting that actually matters to me?

Sometimes the biggest source of stress isn't how much you have to do.

It's trying to hold all of it in your head at once.

Get it out, organize it, and start making decisions.

Join the Spit Up Society
Being a good dad is hard. Doing it alone is even harder.

That's why we created the Spit Up Society.

For just $5 per month, you can join John and Michael for two live Dudela conversations every month, ask questions, share what you're going through, and connect with other dads who are trying to figure this whole fatherhood thing out.

Our calls happen on the first Tuesday and third Thursday of every month.

Can't make a call? We record them so members can catch up whenever they have time.

You'll also get access to exclusive content, including The Womb Watch, where we're following Michael and Abigail through their second pregnancy.

Whether you're preparing for your first baby, navigating the newborn stage, or trying to balance work and family life, we'd love to have you.

Join the Spit Up Society:

https://thedudelaco.com/join/spit%2Dup%2Dsociety/

Free Dad Prep Guide
Becoming a dad is one of the biggest transitions you'll ever experience.

And there's a lot nobody tells you.

Our free guide, 15 Things Every Dad to Be Should Know, helps expecting fathers understand what matters most during pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and the transition into fatherhood.

It's practical advice from dads who have been there.

Get your free Dad Prep Guide:

https://www.thedudelaco.com/guide

The Dudela Prep Kit
Want to take the next step?

The Dudela Prep Kit is designed to help expecting dads prepare for the responsibilities of fatherhood before their baby arrives.

From finances and relationships to emotional preparation, labor and delivery, postpartum, and building your family's identity, this kit gives you practical tools to start taking action.

Because information is helpful.

Information without action is nothing.

Get the Dudela Prep Kit:

https://www.thedudelaco.com/kit/

Ask Dudela
Sometimes you don't need another article.

Sometimes you just need another dad to listen.

In this episode, we talk about how important it is to have someone you can vent to without feeling judged.

Maybe you're stressed about money.

Maybe work is overwhelming.

Maybe you're struggling with your marriage.

Maybe you're terrified about becoming a dad.

Or maybe you just put your kid down at 2:30 in the morning and need to get something off your chest.

That's what Ask Dudela is for.

Head to our website and leave us a voicemail.

You can ask a question, share a win, talk through a struggle, or simply tell us what's going on.

We listen to every message.

And if you don't have another dad in your life you can talk to, we'd love to be that community for you.

Leave us a voicemail:

https://www.thedudelaco.com/voicemail/

Follow Dudela
Want more conversations about pregnancy, fatherhood, marriage, parenting, and becoming the dad you want to be?

Follow along and join the conversation.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_dudela_official/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_dudela_official

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheDudela%2DOfficial

Your Challenge This Week
We're giving you two challenges this week.

Challenge 1: Decide Who You're Willing to Let Down

Look at your calendar for the next two weeks.

Find one commitment that doesn't align with your biggest priorities right now.

Maybe it's an unnecessary meeting.

Maybe it's a social event you've been dreading.

Maybe it's an extra project that can wait.

Maybe it's something you agreed to simply because you didn't want to disappoint someone.

Ask yourself:

If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?

Then make a decision.

And remember, sometimes the right choice is to keep the commitment. The point is to make that choice intentionally.

Challenge 2: Check In on Another Dad

Think of one dad in your life.

Maybe he's expecting his first baby.

Maybe he's raising toddlers.

Maybe he's going through a difficult season.

Maybe you haven't talked in a while.

Send him a text.

Something as simple as:

"Hey man, just checking in. How are you doing? Been thinking about you."

You never know how much someone might need that.

Because we're all carrying something.

And sometimes knowing another dad cares enough to ask makes all the difference.

Being a good dad isn't about getting everything right. It's about consistently choosing what matters most.

That's how you become a steady dad.

And that's what Dudela is all about.

What does the CEO of Babysense think parents actually need at 3 AM?

Maybe less technology, not more.

In this episode of The Dudela Podcast, John and Michael sit down with Elad Erdan, CEO of Babysense, for an honest conversation about baby tech, baby monitors, sleep, parenting anxiety, marriage, career, and what it means to become a deeply involved dad.

Elad is a dad of two, an entrepreneur, and the CEO of a company that has been helping families navigate one of the most stressful parts of early parenthood since 1991: keeping an eye on your baby while still getting enough peace of mind to actually sleep yourself.

And his path to Babysense started with becoming a dad.

Elad shares how the birth of his first child forced him to reconsider the life and career he was building. Fatherhood changed his priorities, his relationship with work, and eventually the direction of his career.

We talk about the pressure dads feel to provide while also being present, prioritizing your relationship after kids, building systems that make family life easier, and why accepting that you cannot control everything might actually make you a better father.

Then we get into the baby tech.

Elad explains what parents should actually look for when choosing a baby monitor, the difference between WiFi and non WiFi monitoring, privacy versus remote access, breathing motion monitoring, split screen systems, and why more parenting data does not always create more peace of mind.

He also shares a simple test he uses when thinking about technology for exhausted parents:

Does this make your life better at 3 AM?

Because if a product has you staring at another screen when you should be sleeping, something has gone wrong.

John also shares why he originally chose a Babysense split screen monitor for his twins and how it has worked for his family, while Michael talks about preparing for baby number two and realizing that the gear you choose for your first baby may need to work for the family you are still building. transcript.txtTXT

But some of the best parts of this conversation have almost nothing to do with technology.

We talk about something we have been noticing at Dudela for a while:

The Dad Renaissance.

More dads are researching the gear. More dads are waking up at night. More dads are changing diapers. More dads are asking questions. More dads are prioritizing their partners. More dads are intentionally choosing to be deeply involved in their families.

And Elad is seeing that shift from inside the baby industry too.

You do not become a great dad on day one.

You grow into it.

In This Episode

How becoming a dad completely changed Elad's career

Going from law and entrepreneurship to CEO of Babysense

What fatherhood teaches you about control

The pressure of providing while also being present

Why prioritizing your partner matters after having kids

Building systems that make newborn life easier

Elad's 3 AM test for parenting technology

Why more parenting data can sometimes create more anxiety

What dads should look for when choosing a baby monitor

WiFi versus non WiFi baby monitors

Privacy, convenience, and remote access

How breathing motion monitoring differs from video monitoring

Choosing a baby monitor for twins or multiple children

Split screen and two camera baby monitors

What John looked for when choosing a monitor for his twins

Why Michael needs a different setup with baby number two coming

Babysense Touch and combining local and remote monitoring

Preparing your baby gear for the family you plan to have

Why some baby products are worth investing more in

The growing involvement of dads in baby gear decisions

The Dad Renaissance

Why you will not be a perfect dad on day one

Elad's advice for the exhausted new dad awake at 3 AM

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This episode is for you.

Check Out Babysense
John has been a Babysense customer since becoming a dad to twins, and Dudela is now a Babysense affiliate.

If you are researching a monitor for your first baby, twins, multiple rooms, or another baby on the way, check out Babysense through our affiliate link:

Shop Babysense through Dudela

If you purchase through our link, Dudela may earn a commission at no additional cost to you.

One of our favorite ideas from this conversation is simple:

Technology should reassure parents, not give them another thing to obsess over.

Start with the problem you are actually trying to solve for your family. Then find the technology that helps without adding more noise.

Join the Spit Up Society
The podcast is where we talk about fatherhood. The Spit Up Society is where we get to talk with you.

For $5 per month, you get two live Dudela calls every month, exclusive content, The Womb Watch, and a growing community of dads who actually want to be intentional about this stuff.

Bring your questions about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, marriage, money, newborn life, baby gear, or fatherhood.

Join the Spit Up Society

Free Dad Prep Guide
Just found out you are going to be a dad?

Our free Dad Prep Guide covers the practical things we wish somebody had explained before we became dads and gives you a place to start preparing for pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and life with a newborn.

Get the Free Dad Prep Guide

Dudela Prep Kit
Want to go deeper?

The Dudela Prep Kit helps first time dads intentionally prepare for the areas of fatherhood that tend to hit all at once: your relationship, emotions, finances, labor and delivery, postpartum, family identity, and the transition into actually becoming Dad.

Because information is helpful.

Information without action is nothing.

Get the Dudela Prep Kit

Ask Dudela
Have a question about pregnancy, baby gear, relationships, newborn life, or becoming a dad?

Send it to us.

Leave John and Michael a voicemail through Dudela. We listen to every message, and your question may become part of a future episode or live conversation.

Visit Dudela

Your Challenge This Week
Ask yourself:

What system could make our family life a little easier?

Maybe it is how you handle nighttime wakeups. Maybe it is how you divide responsibilities. Maybe it is your bedtime routine. Maybe it is the technology you are using. Maybe it is simply creating a regular check in with your partner.

Do not try to control everything.

Build one system that removes a little friction from your family.

Then use the energy you get back to be more present with the people who matter.

That is the point.

Baby #2 Is Coming: What I'm Doing Differently This Pregnancy
 

The Dudela family is growing.

Michael and Abigail are expecting baby girl number two, due on Christmas Day.

And pregnancy feels a little different the second time around.

In this episode of The Dudela Podcast, John sits down with Michael to talk about what pregnancy number two has actually been like, what he learned the first time, and what he is intentionally doing differently as a husband and dad this time around.

Because during your first pregnancy, everything is new.

You are tracking the baby's size every week. You are Googling symptoms. You are trying to figure out which appointments matter. You are buying baby gear you have never heard of. You are wondering how much everything is going to cost. And somewhere in the middle of all of that, you are trying to figure out what your pregnant wife actually needs from you.

The second time, you know a little more about what is coming.

Michael shares what has been different during Abigail's second pregnancy, including more nausea, earlier body changes, food aversions, cravings, preparing their toddler Riley to become a big sister, moving into a bigger home, and realizing just how quickly the second pregnancy seems to move.

We also talk about why the halfway point of pregnancy can be such an important moment for dads.

Around 20 weeks, the pregnancy can suddenly start feeling very real. There is a growing belly. You may be feeling the baby move. The anatomy scan gives you an incredible look at your child. And the countdown toward labor, delivery, and newborn life starts getting a whole lot shorter.

That is when preparation matters.

Michael shares why dads should prioritize important ultrasound appointments, how to support your wife when her body starts changing quickly, why you need to become a better listener instead of trying to solve everything, and how taking things off your wife's mental load can make a huge difference.

We also get into the reality of preparing financially for another baby, planning a babymoon, getting ready for sleepless nights again, deciding which baby products are actually worth keeping, and figuring out how to give your first child the attention they need when a newborn enters the family.

And if you are nervous about becoming a dad?

That is okay too.

You do not need to have fatherhood figured out before your baby arrives.

You just need to start becoming the kind of dad who wants to figure it out.

In This Episode

Michael and Abigail are expecting baby girl number two

Why pregnancy number two feels completely different

Their Christmas Day due date

What has surprised Michael during the second pregnancy

Pregnancy nausea, cravings, food aversions, and exhaustion

Why the baby bump can show earlier during a second pregnancy

What pregnancy feels like when you already have a toddler

Preparing your first child to become a big sister or brother

What dads should know around 20 weeks pregnant

Why dads should attend important ultrasound appointments

What to expect from the anatomy scan

When pregnancy starts feeling real for dads

How to support your pregnant wife without trying to fix everything

Becoming a better listener during pregnancy

Taking things off your wife's mental load without waiting to be asked

Why pregnancy requires dads to become more selfless

Preparing financially for hospital bills, diapers, formula, and newborn life

What Michael learned financially from baby number one

Preparing for sleepless nights when you already have a toddler

How to make sure your first child still feels seen after baby arrives

Why a babymoon is worth considering

The best time during pregnancy to get away together

Baby products Michael will use again

Baby products they probably will not buy again

Why bottle feeding flexibility can help dads become more involved

How fatherhood changes what you consider important

Why it is normal for expecting dads to feel nervous

Becoming the dad you want to be before baby arrives

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Follow Michael's Pregnancy in Real Time With The Womb Watch
Michael is not just talking about this pregnancy after the fact.

We are documenting it as it happens.

The Womb Watch follows Michael and Abigail through pregnancy number two in real time.

Every few weeks, John and Michael sit down for shorter conversations about what is happening right now, including appointments, ultrasounds, milestones, what Abigail is experiencing, what Michael is learning, and what dads coming behind him should know.

If your wife recently got pregnant, you can essentially follow along with another dad who is just a little farther down the road.

The Womb Watch is exclusively available inside the Spit Up Society.

Join the Spit Up Society
You do not have to figure out fatherhood alone.

For $5 per month, the Spit Up Society gives you access to The Womb Watch, exclusive Dudela content, and two live calls with us every month where you can bring whatever questions you are dealing with right now.

Pregnancy.

Birth.

Postpartum.

Marriage.

Money.

Newborn life.

Fatherhood.

Bring it.

Join the Spit Up Society here:

https://thedudelaco.com/join/spit-up-society/

Find Resources for Your Exact Stage of Pregnancy
Not sure what you should actually be doing right now?

Head to Dudela and choose where you are in the pregnancy journey.

We have resources designed to help dads understand what matters at different stages so you can spend less time Googling and more time actually preparing.

https://thedudelaco.com/

Free Dad Prep Guide
If you just found out you are going to be a dad, start here.

https://www.thedudelaco.com/guide

Our free Dad Prep Guide covers the things we wish someone had told us before becoming dads and gives you practical ways to start preparing for pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and newborn life.

Dudela Prep Kit
Want to take preparation seriously?

https://dudelaco.gumroad.com/l/dudela-prep-kit

The Dudela Prep Kit gives first time dads a practical framework for preparing for fatherhood, including your relationship, emotions, finances, labor and delivery, postpartum, family identity, and life after your baby arrives.

Because knowing more is helpful.

Doing something with what you know is what actually prepares you.

Ask Dudela
Are you somewhere in pregnancy right now and have a question?

Maybe you just saw the positive pregnancy test and have no idea what happens next.

Maybe you are heading into the anatomy scan.

Maybe your wife is miserable and you do not know how to help.

Maybe you are excited about becoming a dad but also quietly terrified.

Send it to us.

Leave John and Michael a voicemail through the Dudela website. We listen to every message, and your question may become part of a future podcast or live conversation.

https://thedudelaco.com/

Follow Dudela
Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/the_dudela_official/

TikTok

https://www.tiktok.com/@the_dudela_official

YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/@TheDudela-Official

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/p/The-Dudela-61566037880710/

Your Challenge This Week
If your wife is pregnant, ask yourself one question:

What is something she is carrying right now that I can carry for her?

Do not ask her to create a list for you.

Look around.

Maybe it is dinner.

Maybe it is laundry.

Maybe it is getting up with your toddler on Saturday morning so she can sleep.

Maybe it is researching the car seat.

Maybe it is making the appointment.

Maybe she just needs you to listen without trying to solve anything.

Find one thing.

Own it.

Because preparing for fatherhood is not just about knowing what happens next.

It is about becoming the kind of man your family can count on when it does.

What do moms actually wish dads understood about pregnancy, postpartum, and becoming parents?

This time, we decided to stop answering for them.

In this episode of The Dudela Podcast, John and Michael are joined by their wives, Vivian and Abigail, for an honest conversation about pregnancy, postpartum, marriage, motherhood, careers, community, and what support from a husband actually looks like when life gets hard.

And there is some pretty big Dudela family news.

Michael and Abigail are expecting baby number two, another girl.

That means Dudela is officially going through another pregnancy in real time.

We talk about what this pregnancy has looked like so far, pregnancy nausea and food aversions, preparing for a second baby, and what Abigail needs from Michael during pregnancy that she does not always know how to ask for.

But this conversation goes much deeper than pregnancy.

Viv opens up about how difficult the postpartum season was after having twins and what it felt like to lose part of herself during those early months of motherhood. She shares why patience, grace, friendship, and having people around her mattered so much while she figured out who she was becoming.

Abigail shares what it is like balancing motherhood with a career she genuinely loves, the guilt that can come with being a working mom, and why having a husband who encourages her career instead of making her feel guilty about it has mattered so much.

We also get into something every expecting dad needs to hear.

Your wife may not always be able to tell you exactly what she needs.

Sometimes supporting her means paying attention.

Take the baby.

Handle bath time.

Figure out dinner.

Give her permission to rest.

Encourage her to spend time with friends.

Make the decision she is too exhausted to make.

Create room for the parts of her identity that exist outside of being a mom.

And during postpartum, understand that the woman beside you is experiencing one of the biggest physical, hormonal, emotional, and identity changes of her life.

She may not seem exactly like the woman you married for a while.

That does not mean something has gone wrong.

She is becoming someone new too.

This conversation is about learning how to become parents together, how to build a village around your family, and how husbands and wives can give each other grace while everyone figures it out.

Whether you are trying for a baby, expecting your first, preparing for the fourth trimester, or already deep in toddler life, there is something in this conversation for you.

In This Episode
• Michael and Abigail announce baby number two

• What this pregnancy has actually been like so far

• Pregnancy nausea, exhaustion, and food aversions

• Preparing for a second baby versus preparing for your first

• What pregnant wives actually need from their husbands

• Why your wife may struggle to ask you for help

• Learning to anticipate your partner's needs

• Why decision fatigue is so real for moms

• Giving your wife permission to rest without guilt

• What dads need to understand about the postpartum season

• Giving your wife grace during the fourth trimester

• What it feels like when your spouse does not seem like herself after baby

• Postpartum identity changes and becoming a mom

• Supporting your wife's career after having kids

• Working mom guilt and balancing career with motherhood

• Why friendships and community matter so much after having kids

• Building your village before you desperately need one

• Why parenting alongside friends makes the hard seasons easier

• Understanding that toddler behavior is communication

• How dads can respond differently to tantrums and difficult behavior

• Why your child's behavior is not always about you

• Creating meaningful family moments out of ordinary days

• Learning your strengths as a mom and dad

• Becoming a team instead of keeping score

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This episode is for you.

Meet the Wives
For this episode, we handed part of the microphones over to the women who have been beside Dudela from the beginning.

Abigail is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst with a background in Applied Behavior Analysis. She works with children on developmental skills, communication, behavior, and helping families understand why behaviors happen in the first place.

One of her biggest reminders for dads in this episode is simple:

Behavior is communication.

When your toddler is screaming, hitting, melting down, or doing something that drives you insane, it is easy to take that behavior personally.

But your child may simply be trying to communicate something they do not yet have the language or skills to express.

Vivian is a mom of twins, entrepreneur, and wedding planner behind The Alpenglow Edit. Her love for creating meaningful moments has carried directly into motherhood and the way she and John intentionally create traditions, adventures, and memories with their girls.

She also gets honest about the harder side of becoming a mom, including the postpartum season and eventually finding parts of herself again through starting her business.

Together, they give us something we want more of on Dudela:

The mom's side of the story.

The Womb Watch Is Coming
With Michael and Abigail expecting their second daughter, we have been documenting this pregnancy behind the scenes.

The Womb Watch follows their pregnancy in real time through appointments, conversations, questions, preparation, and Michael figuring out what it means to go through pregnancy as a dad for the second time.

The Womb Watch is exclusive content for members of the Spit Up Society.

Join the Spit Up Society
The podcast is where we talk about fatherhood.

The Spit Up Society is where we get to talk with you.

For $5 per month, you get access to two live Dudela Q&A calls every month, The Womb Watch, exclusive content, behind the scenes conversations, early access to Dudela resources, and a community of dads figuring this stuff out together.

Our live calls happen on the first Tuesday and third Thursday of every month.

Bring your questions about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, newborn life, marriage, finances, fatherhood, or whatever you are dealing with right now.

Can't make the live call? Members get access to the recordings too.

Join the Spit Up Society here:

https://thedudelaco.com/join/spit-up-society/

Free Dad Prep Guide
Preparing for your first baby?

Start here:

https://www.thedudelaco.com/guide

Our free Dad Prep Guide gives expecting dads practical advice for pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and becoming a father.

Dudela Prep Kit
Want to go deeper?

https://dudelaco.gumroad.com/l/dudela-prep-kit

The Dudela Prep Kit is our complete roadmap for first time dads preparing for labor, delivery, postpartum, and life with a newborn.

It includes 33 pages, 6 pillars, and 9 printable tools designed to help you stop wondering what you should be doing and start preparing for what comes next.

Ask Dudela
Have a question you want us to answer?

Maybe your wife is pregnant and you have no idea what she needs.

Maybe you are struggling through the newborn stage.

Maybe your toddler is losing their mind and you cannot figure out why.

Maybe you just need another dad's perspective.

Leave us a voicemail directly through the Dudela website. We listen to every message and may answer yours on the podcast or during one of our live conversations.

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Your Challenge This Week
Ask your wife one question:

What is one thing I could take completely off your plate this week?

Then listen.

And if you already know the answer, do not make her manage you through it.

Take the kids.

Make dinner.

Handle bedtime.

Clean the kitchen.

Give her an hour alone.

Make the decision.

Whatever it is, own it from beginning to end.

Being a steady dad is not always about knowing exactly what to say.

Sometimes it is simply noticing what your family needs and showing up before someone has to ask.

Trying should be the fun part, right?

Trying for a baby is supposed to be the fun part. Then the ovulation strips show up, the fertile window turns into a deadline, and sex starts feeling like something you're clocking into.

Nobody really preps dads for that.

In this episode, John and Michael sit down outside in Dillon, Colorado (concert crowd noise included) to talk honestly about trying to conceive: John and Viv's five months, Michael and Abigail's six to eight, and every emotion that showed up in between.

They get into the stuff most guys never say out loud. The pressure of being "the star of the show" — if you don't perform, there's no baby. The mindset shift of scheduled sex, and how to actually make it fun instead of clinical. What it felt like when a pregnancy test came back negative and not realizing until that night how much the moment meant to his wife. The golf trip Michael was on when Abigail got a negative test the morning of his sister's baby shower, and what he learned about not being emotionally present for it.

They also cover the practical side: tracking ovulation, timing morning sex around testosterone levels, why hot tubs are a fertility myth worth knowing about, and when it's worth getting your own levels checked. And the mental side almost nobody addresses — the eight inches between your ears that start asking "is this ever going to work" after a few negative tests in a row.

But the bigger point isn't the biology. It's that the trying season, hard as it is, is a chance to build the communication and partnership that carries you into parenthood. John's twins were conceived on Leap Day, an accident neither of them expected, after months of turning a stressful window into something they looked forward to together.

If you've been trying for one month or two years, this is a reminder you're not the only one white-knuckling the two-week wait, and you don't have to carry it alone.

🍼 In This Episode

What trying to conceive actually feels like for dads, not just moms

Why the fertile window creates pressure most men don't talk about

Scheduled sex: how to keep intimacy fun instead of clinical

The "star of the show" pressure and how to handle an off night

What to do when a pregnancy test comes back negative, and how to actually support your wife in that moment

Tracking ovulation, morning timing, and other practical strategies

Why hot tubs, diet, and drinking habits are worth a second look while trying

The mental side of trying to conceive that men rarely admit to

How comparison creeps in when friends start having kids

Turning the trying season into a foundation for your relationship, not just a means to an end

🎯 If You've Ever Searched
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This episode is for you.

 

🧡 Resources for Dads

Free Dad Prep Guide - https://www.thedudelaco.com/guide
If you're preparing for your first baby, start here. Our free guide covers the things we wish someone had told us before becoming dads and gives you practical ways to start preparing now.

Dudela Prep Kit - https://www.thedudelaco.com/kit
Want to go deeper? The Dudela Prep Kit is our complete preparation framework for dads, $37, covering pregnancy, birth, postpartum, your relationship, emotions, finances, newborn life, and the transition into fatherhood.

🎙️ Ask Another Dad
Going through something you want to talk about? Maybe you're trying for a baby. Maybe pregnancy is kicking your ass. Maybe your newborn won't sleep. Maybe you just need another dad's perspective.

Leave John and Michael a voicemail at thedudelaco.com/voicemail, or email dude@thedudelaco.com. We listen to every one and respond when we can.

🤝 Join the Spit-Up Society
Sometimes you don't need another article or Google search. You need other dads.

The Spit-Up Society is $5 a month and gets you two live Q&A calls with John and Michael every month, a private community, and early access to merch and guides.

Join at https://www.thedudelaco.com/join/spit-up-society

 

📱 Follow Dudela

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_dudela_official/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_dudela_official

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheDudela-Official

 

💪 Your Challenge This Week

If you're currently trying for a baby, have one conversation with your partner that has nothing to do with timing, ovulation, or whether this is "the month." Ask her how she's actually doing with all of this. Then tell her how you're doing too. No fixing it, no strategy, no calendar. Just talk.

Before you're mom and dad, you're still the two people building this family together. If trying has started to feel like work, find one way this week to make being together feel like the two of you again.