Brothers and Teachers

• "We get good at what we do."

  This conversation is part of an ongoing series of conversations with fellow writers, including several on Substack such as Latham Turner Michael Mohr Lyle McKeany Sam Kahn Andy Johns Scott Britton and Sex at Dawn author Chris Ryan as well as others including addiction expert Dr. Adi Jaffe, master coaches Michael Lipson and Robert Ellis, ultra-runner Charlie Engle and legendary sci-fi author Kim Stanley Robinson. Today’s conversation is between Donna McArthur the writer behind The Bright Life and Bowen Dwelle who writes at An Ordinary Disaster, which includes his serialized memoir of the same name. Donna and I got together recently a conversation focused on change, including why we are sometimes so resistant to making changes, how we’ve overcome that resistance, some big changes that we’ve made in our own lives, the role of physicality and intuition in change — and, of course, what we’re working on next. If you value authentic, honest, deep, vulnerable conversations between working writers, we think you’ll get a lot out of this discussion. Following the interview are links to some of our writing, some other writers of memoir on Substack, and some questions for you. We’d love to hear from you! Our ConversationI usually record video as well, but I screwed it up this time, so just use the audio player at the top of the page ⬆️ ⭐️⭐️ THANK YOU FOR LISTENING⭐️⭐️We’ve got some questions for you* What’s the biggest change you’ve made in your own life?* Have you experienced resistance to change—and how have you overcome that resistance? * How do you make your best decisions? What’s your relationship with intuition, and how has that evolved over time? * How do you prepare for making changes? Some of our own writingSubscribe for more Donna writes The Bright Life — a guide to a life of possibility and well-being by examining what lies below the layers of daily life, and taking steps to shift and grow.Bowen’s writing at An Ordinary Disaster includes memoir and personal essay on men, adventure, addiction, depression, love and money. Other writers we recommend on SubstackThe Recovering Academic Of a Sober Mind Michael Mohr's Sincere American WritingJust Enough to Get Me in Trouble The Unspeakable with Meghan Daum Nolan Yuma’s Born Without BordersThe Abbey of Misrule Tangentially Speaking with Chris Ryan Homegrown Humans Newsletter Brett Scott’s Altered States of Monetary Consciousness Did you enjoy this conversation? Use the heart ♡ below to let us know👇🏻 Get full access to An Ordinary Disaster at bowendwelle.substack.com/subscribe

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  45:36
• “We all need our own philosophy”

  This conversation is part of an ongoing series of conversations with fellow writers including several on Substack such as Michael Mohr Lyle McKeany Sam Kahn Andy Johns Scott Britton and Sex at Dawn author Chris Ryan as well as others including addiction expert Dr. Adi Jaffe, master coaches Michael Lipson and Robert Ellis, ultra-runner Charlie Engle and legendary sci-fi author Kim Stanley Robinson. Today’s conversation is between Latham Turner the writer behind Get Real, Man and Bowen Dwelle who writes at An Ordinary Disaster, which includes his serialized memoir of the same name. Latham and I got together recently for a deep and wide-ranging conversation covering writing to explore, how “adventure doesn’t happen by accident,” writing as men and the transition into being an older man, using research in storytelling, how “we all need our own philosophy,” the challenge of positive confrontation and “the Goat Work,” how we relate to our immediate geography, long-distance walking, wayfinding, personal spirituality, the gods we’re praying as — and, of course, what we’re working on next. If you value authentic, honest, deep, vulnerable conversations between working writers, we think you’ll get a lot out of this discussion. Following the interview are links to some of our writing, some other writers of memoir on Substack, and some questions for you. We’d love to hear from you! Our ConversationUse the audio player at the top of the page, or watch the interview here ⬇️ ⭐️⭐️ THANK YOU FOR LISTENING⭐️⭐️Some of our own writing* Latham: The Men’s Movement is Dead; Long Live the Men’s Movement* Bowen: The Man Pays—on the bittersweet joy of being child-free* Latham: What Will You Die For —on developing a personal philosophy of life* Bowen: I’m Here to Tell the Truth—the introduction and table of contents to my serialized memoir, An Ordinary Disaster.Latham and I will both be posting a piece this coming week on the theme of “Recovery” from a group of men including ourselves, Joshua Doležal Michael Mohr Dee Rambeau and Lyle McKeany. You may recall our previous series on “Fatherhood” from September. Be on the lookout for Latham’s piece on December 11 and Bowen’s on the 13th! Subscribe for more Latham writes Get Real, Man — a newsletter about growing up after you’ve become an adult. It’s part memoir, part essays, but always exploration of an authentic life.Bowen’s writing at An Ordinary Disaster includes memoir and personal essay on men, adventure, addiction, depression, love and money. Other writers we recommend on SubstackInner Life and The Recovering Academic Of a Sober Mind Michael Mohr's Sincere American WritingJust Enough to Get Me in Trouble Deep Fix Sparks from Culture by David Roberts The Bright Life Make Me Good Soil The Unspeakable with Meghan Daum visa's voltaic verses ⚡️ The Abbey of Misrule Tangentially Speaking with Chris Ryan Homegrown Humans Newsletter Eleanor’s Substack Poetic Outlaws Siesta in the Storm The Ghost Further Reading and Listening * 📚 The Denial of Death, by Ernest Becker * 📚 The Flowering Wand: Rewilding the Sacred Masculine, by Sophie Strand * 📚 Of Boys and Men by Richard V Reeves * 🎧 Finding Your Soul in The Darkness w/ Francis Weller on Mark Groves podcast * 🎧 The Evolution of Masculinity w/ Chris Ryan on The Mythic Masculine podcast * 📚 Bowen’s complete “for men” reading list.We’ve got some questions for you* If you’re a writer, what has writing done for you? And if you’re a reader, what do you get from your time spent reading?* What is your own relationship to adventure and exploring? What’s familiar—and what would be a new challenge?* How much does the place where you are impact you, as a writer and as a person?* If you have children (or even if you don’t, but just care about a child in your life), what are the stories and models you want to raise them with? * What makes you feel like a whole person? What have you learned becoming your whole self that you would share with others?* Who else needs to be in this conversation about masculinity and men? Who would you point out as positive role models? Did you enjoy this conversation? Use the heart ♡ below to let us know👇🏻 Get full access to An Ordinary Disaster at bowendwelle.substack.com/subscribe

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  1:02:56
• Salvational or "a series of compulsions"?

  This conversation is part of an ongoing series of conversations with fellow writers including several on Substack such as Michael Mohr, Lyle McKeany, and Sex at Dawn author Chris Ryan as well as others including master coaches Michael Lipson and Robert Ellis, ultra-ultra-runner Charlie Engle and legendary sci-fi author Kim Stanley Robinson. Today’s conversation is betweenSam Kahn, the writer behind Castalia , who also writes as part of the Inner Life collective, and Bowen Dwelle who writesAn Ordinary Disaster, which includes his serialized memoir of the same name. Sam and I got together for a deep and wide-ranging conversation covering how we came to writing on Substack, the questions of why write? and is it hard?, figuring out how to tell the truth, the challenges of editing, using addiction as the “hinge” for writing, how life can seem like “a series of compulsions,” how writing can be “salvational,” as well as the power of community for writers. We also get to one of my favorite topics: masculinity and identity, which is as complicated—or as simple—as you want to make it. Either way, as Sam puts it, “it’s a valid topic.” Finally, the epistemological boundary between arguing a point of meaning vs. speaking from personal experience, reconnecting with our wild center, and, of course, what we’re working on next. If you’re someone who values authentic, honest, deep, vulnerable conversations between working writers, we think you’ll get a lot out of this discussion. Following the interview are links to some of our writing, some other writers of memoir on Substack, and some questions for you. We’d love to hear from you! Our ConversationListen in the player at the top of the page, or watch the interview on video: ⭐️⭐️ THANK YOU FOR LISTENING⭐️⭐️Please subscribe Sam writes at Castalia on literature, politics, and personal reflections. Bowen writes memoir and personal essay on topics including identity, masculinity, adventure, alcohol, addiction, depression, sports, not having children, and love, among other things. Some of our writing* Sam: Against Branding (and Sarah Fay) * Bowen: Sex is Better Sober* Sam: Gentlemen Prefer B*****s* Bowen: No, it is not a struggle to find good male role models—and, it’s time we got our heads screwed on straight about the “patriarchy.”Other writers we recommend on SubstackInner Life The Recovering Academic Get Real, Man Of a Sober Mind Michael Mohr's Sincere American Writing Just Enough to Get Me in Trouble Deep Fix Sparks from Culture by David Roberts The Bright Life Mary Tabor "Only connect ..." Make Me Good Soil Grand Hotel Abyss The Unspeakable with Meghan Daum visa's voltaic verses ⚡️ Sherman Alexie The Abbey of Misrule Persuasion Tangentially Speaking with Chris Ryan Homegrown Humans Newsletter Out of It The Rewilded Soul if not, Paris Further Reading* 📖 The Revolt of the Public, Martin Gurri* 👁️ The Flowering Wand: Rewilding the Sacred Masculine, Sophie Strand * 🎬 The Conversation * 📚 Bowen’s complete “for men” reading list.Men’s Writing Group on SubstackBowen hosts a monthly group for men on Substack writing memoir, autofiction, personal essay and other first-person informed work. This group already includes several strong writers Michael Mohr Latham Turner Joshua Doležal Lyle McKeany Dee Rambeau. Participation is by request and invitation. If you’re interested in joining us, please complete this questionnaire.We’ve got some questions for you* Why do you write? Is there a subject or personal complex that serves as a hinge for your writing?* What are your own compulsions? * Is writing redemptive (or just another compulsion)? * How does Substack change the way we think about writing, art, and sharing ideas?Did you enjoy this conversation? Use the heart ♡ below to let us know👇🏻 Get full access to An Ordinary Disaster at bowendwelle.substack.com/subscribe

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  58:14
• We'd all do well to "grow a spiritual pair"

  This conversation is part of a series of interviews with various brothers and teachers, including many fellow writers, all of which are part of the body of work surrounding my book-length memoir An Ordinary Disaster—one man's proof that we can all learn to listen to ourselves, and to act upon the inner voice of our self, our sanity and our soul.I’m glad you’re here! And—this is a reader-supported publication. If you appreciate my work, please consider becoming a paying subscriber. As a full-time working writer, I appreciate every reader and everyone who chooses to part with five bucks a month to support my writing. Almost all of this Substack remains free; only contribute money if you feel inclined to do so, but there are a few things that I make available only to paying subscribers, like my long-form handbook on intuition. Michael Mohr is the writer behind Michael Mohr's Sincere American Writing and Bowen Dwelle writesAn Ordinary Disaster which includes his serialized memoir of the same name. In addition to their writing, Bowen offers his intuitive Guide Service, and Michael works with writers as a developmental editor. Michael and I got together for a deep and wide-ranging conversation that covered a number of topics including how our own writing has changed us, patriarchy and personal responsibility, the psychosexual realm between mothers and sons, love, commitment and addiction, women who inspire and support us, and, of course, what we’re working on next. If you’re a writer who values authentic, no B.S., honest, vulnerable conversations, we think you’ll get a lot out of this discussion. Following the interview are links to some of our writing, some other writers of memoir on Substack, further reading on memoir, and some questions for you. We’d love to hear from you! Use the ♡ and comments below 👇🏻Our ConversationListen in the player at the top of the page, or watch the interview on Youtube ⭐️⭐️ THANK YOU FOR LISTENING⭐️⭐️Please SUBSCRIBE to both of our SubstacksBowen writes memoir and personal essay on topics including alcohol, addiction and depression… adventure, fitness, sports, and nature… identity, masculinity, fatherhood and being child-free, love, relationships and sex, among other things. If you’re not already a subscriber to Bowen’s substack, please do take this opportunity to subscribe now. Michael writes about everything from identity politics to AA and sobriety to existentialism and death to meditation and more. At Sincere American Writing you get a mix of fiction, memoir, personal essay, book reviews, cultural commentary and much more. If you’re not already a subscriber to Michael’s ‘Stack, please take this opportunity to subscribe now. Our WritingHere are two of the more popular pieces we’ve written on Substack:Writers Versus The World — How Writers are Different from Everyone ElseThink of any daring, talented and interesting writer—Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Didion, Sontag, Kerouac, Steinbeck, Henry Miller, Baldwin, Mailer, David Foster Wallace, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Ottessa Moshfegh, Zadie Smith, Elif Batuman, etc—and you instantly see that the art stems from an intriguing, even dangerous artist. This is causal: Writers are generally an unusual lot. They are weird, freakish, isolated, individual, “different.” The wild eccentric weirdos who the rest of society seems flummoxed and yet often captivated by… Follow this link to read the rest of Michael’s piece. Other Writers We Like on SubstackJust Enough to Get Me in Trouble by Lyle McKeanyThe Recovering Academic by Joshua Doležal Get Real, Man by Latham TurnerOf a Sober Mind by Dee RambeauThis Is a Newsletter! by That Guy From the Internet Deep Fix by Alex Olshonsky The Unspeakable with Meghan Daum Sherman Alexievisa's voltaic verses ⚡️ by visakan veerasamy Cured: The Memoir by Sarah FayThe Loaf, with Tim KreiderFurther ReadingSexus (The Rosy Crucifixion, #1), Henry MillerThe Happiest Man Alive: A Biography of Henry Miller, Mary V. DearbornBlackout, Sarah HepolaThe Routine Things Around The House, by Stephen DunnThe Women’s Movement, by Joan DidionMens Writing Group on SubstackWe host a monthly group for men on Substack writing memoir, autofiction, personal essay and other first-person informed work—which really could include just about anything, including fiction.This group already includes several strong writers Michael Mohr Latham Turner Joshua Doležal Lyle McKeany Dee Rambeau Bowen Dwelle Participation is by request and invitation. If you’re interested in the possibility of joining us, please complete this questionnaire.We’ve got some questions for you* What is the purpose, in your mind, of writing, of Art, of creative expression? Why do it at all? * What does it mean to be a woman or a man in 2023 America? How has this changed over the past few decades? * Why do you read memoir? Is this a very different reason than why you read fiction? Why?* How do you feel about personal responsibility? Does your race or gender condemn you to a certain kind of existence, or can you transcend that? * How has your mother or father shaped you as an adult? Have you transcended any of that shaping? Why or why not? Was this worth your time?Use the heart ♡ below to let us know👇🏻 Get full access to An Ordinary Disaster at bowendwelle.substack.com/subscribe

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  1:18:32
• The creative act is a form of dreaming

  This conversation is part of a series of interviews with various brothers and teachers, including many fellow writers, all of which are part of the body of work surrounding my book-length memoir An Ordinary Disaster—one man's proof that we can all learn to listen to ourselves, and to act upon the inner voice of our self, our sanity and our soul.An interview with the authorMy friend Michael Lipson interviewed me recently about the development and writing of my book-length memoir An Ordinary Disaster. I'd love to hear from you after listening, so don't be shy about leaving a comment or a question. Use the Substack audio player at the top of the page ⬆️ to listen to the interview.Highlights13:39 …how it's possible to forget something as important as what I was supposed to be, and then, a long ways down the road, come back to fully remembering—not coincidentally, a the point when I was also finally in a position to pursue that. 14:39 What was it like to begin and what were you seeking by doing that?15:19 …part of the reason that writing began to resurface was my experience changing my relationship with alcohol.17:19 I was asked to state my purpose and I said, “I'm here to tell the truth.” That felt true, and a very clear, spontaneous expression of the answer to the question of what I'm here to do in this chapter of life.19:59 I was tired of feeling like I wasn't expressing myself—and also that I didn't know how to.21:09 I felt like I needed to speak myself into existence.23:09 …The process of ‘becoming a writer…’ “I had to let the material work with me.”27:09 “As I confronted myself with the truth…that cemented my sense of self...” 36:09 …having people that I've known for a long time read my work has “made me feel like another person, like another whole part of myself is alive and present and being seen and active in relationship.”40:39 “I now have the confidence that I am doing what I should be doing and I will get where I'm going by being myself. I don't really have to think about it much at all. I just now am able to be myself, and let that lead.”43:39 Q: Where is the book in terms of the pathway of Campbell's hero's journey? A: The book is the return, the gold, the treasure. 46:10 “The creative act is a form of dreaming. When I'm writing and imagery or metaphors come in, it's the dream state—it's the colors arising from the unconscious psyche.”64:09 “…intuition refuses to be named because it's a function of the unconscious and therefore it cannot be named directly. It’s a defining characteristic of working with anything in the unconscious—the shadow, intuition, dreams. You have to move towards them indirectly.”1:13:00 “the spiritual power of sport is hugely underappreciated. Outdoor sports have been the primary path to reconnection with myself, and to wayfinding in my own life in a way that feels whole and satisfying.”1:15:00 “you tell the story of how you responded to those things as you’ve aged, and I see this as you’re actively wrestling with de-adulterating yourself and getting to your pure state. ... the gravity field is reducing, and your presence, your aura, your perimeter is expanding at the same time...” ⭐️⭐️ THANK YOU FOR LISTENING⭐️⭐️Thanks 100K to my dear friend Michael Lipson for the interview! Michael is a master coach who has worked with hundreds of leaders and executives, as well as a leader in the world of mens work, through his involvement in EVRYMAN and the Young Men’s Ultimate Weekend.Please SUBSCRIBE for all my writingFurther ReadingQuestions for you* Which parts of the interview hit home for you most?* Have you ever forgotten something for many years, and then remembered it at a later time in life, perhaps when you were more capable of realizing that dream? * How has your relationship with the naked truth of your own life evolved over tim, and how has that affected your sense of self? * Where are you in terms of Campbell's hero's journey, in your own life?* Have you experienced the spiritual power of outdoor sports? * Have you ever experienced a time of a dramatic sense of coming more fully into yourself? Get full access to An Ordinary Disaster at bowendwelle.substack.com/subscribe

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