Ladies, We Need To Talk

Mid-life is hard enough, but what happens when you add a baby to the mix?
The average maternal age has been creeping up over the past twenty years, with more women than ever becoming first time mums in their 40s, delaying motherhood to build careers, travel, find the right partner, secure housing, or navigate infertility.
Having a baby later in life can be exhausting. Sleep is elusive, many women are edging perimenopause and the risks to both mother and baby can increase. Then there's the judgement — the sideways looks, the inevitable question: are you the mum or the grandma?
Yumi Stynes meets two first time mums who fell pregnant in their mid-40s to talk about the challenges and the joys of being an older mum.
Plus women's health expert Dr Karin Hammarberg weighs in on the risks- and rewards- of waiting.
This episode will answer questions like:
Can I get pregnant after 40?
Can you get pregnant when you're 45?
Why do women delay getting pregnant?
Should I wait to get pregnant?
What are the chances of getting pregnant over 40?
What is a geriatric pregnancy
Is it harder to get pregnant after 40?
What to listen to next:
Surrogacy: why women carry babies for others — ABC listen
Is your attachment style messing with your love life? — ABC listen
Felicity Ward on motherhood, depression and a sexual rebirth — ABC listen
Last shot pregnancy — ABC listen
What to read next: 
Why these women have never had a partner — ABC News
The surprising health benefits linked to having a baby at 35 and older — ABC News
 This episode contains references to pregnancy, dating, marriage, babies, toddlers, children, conception, TTC, sex, IVF, in vitro fertilisation, motherhood, donor eggs, maternity, parenthood, cancer, geriatric pregnancy, Advanced maternal age, pregnancy after 40, fertility after 40, Hilary Swank, Gisele Bundchen

Is monogamy a tired social contract — or a deeply meaningful way to build a life with someone you love? Is opening up your relationship an act of honesty and freedom, or just another complicated commitment in an already overbooked life?
Roll up, Ladies, as monogamy and Ethical non-monogamy go head-to-head. Arguing in favour of fidelity is comedian and Deadloch actor, Nikki Britton. Meanwhile, sex therapist, Aleks Trkulja goes in to bat for ENM.
Will one relationship style prevail?
This episode will answer questions like:
What is Ethical non-monogamy?
Should I open my relationship?
Was Lindy West in an open marriage?
Are there rules in an Non-Monogamous relationship?
How can I date more than one person?
Is monogamy the same as marriage?
Is ENM the same as Polyamory?
What to listen to next: 
What we need men to know about sex — ABC listen
Is your attachment style messing with your love life? — ABC listen
Is everyone having better sex than me?
The case against hookup sex with Hannah Ferguson — ABC listen
What to read next: 
Why these women have never had a partner — ABC News
The women staying single by choice in a world of relentless dating pressure
What happens to your sex life during perimenopause?
This episode contains references to dating, monogamy, non-monogamy, heterosexuality, ethical non-monogamy, ENM, polyamory, sex, relationships, orgasms, partnerships, tinder, bumble, Hinge, dating apps, ghosting,

The uterus is central to womanhood: it's the baby house, and allows for menstruation. So, what's it like to have it removed?
Each year around 30,000 Australian women have a hysterectomy — to relieve pain, to treat cancer, or as part of gender affirming care.
The path to surgery isn't always straightforward or quick. It can involve years of heartache, confusion and BS from specialists. But for most women, a hysterectomy is a game changer, bringing lasting relief and restoring quality of life.
Yumi Stynes speaks to women who've a had hysterectomy and finds out what led to their decision and what life is like on the other side.
Plus, gynaecologist and endometriosis specialist Dr Pav Nanayakkara explains the reasons we might need to get a hysterectomy, how to navigate the side effects of having your reproductive organs removed and whether we can still achieve the big O post-surgery.
Helpful resources:
Ausralian Endometrosis Foundation
Jean Hailes Foundation
 This episode will answer questions like:
What is a hysterectomy?
Why do people get a hysterectomy?
What are the different types of hysterectomy?
What happens after a hysterectomy?
Do I need my uterus?
Will a hysterectomy cure my adenomyosis pain?
Will a hysterectomy cure my endometriosis?
Did Lena Dunham get a hysterectomy?
What to listen to next:
"Where the hell is my husband?" Women who've never had a partner — ABC listen
Will we ever have a cure for endometriosis? — ABC listen
The new way to date — ABC listen
Family Feuds: Is estrangement the new normal? — ABC listen
You can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.
What to read next:
Why Kate chose to 'stay flat' after breast cancer surgery — ABC News
Why these women have never had a partner — ABC News
This episode contains references to hysterectomies, hysterectomy, uterus, medical misogyny, surgery, ovaries, gender affirming care, relationships, orgasms.

Ever been called too clingy? Or felt overwhelmed by your partner's needs? Blame your attachment style!
Attachment theory is a cornerstone of modern psychology; chances are you've read about it in Attached or spent hours spiralling on TikTok as you tried to identify your attachment style and what it means for your relationship.
The theory breaks our attachment styles into three main categories: anxious, avoidant and secure and suggests that the way we're raised shapes how we show up in relationships.
We might hold on too tight, we might shut down and reject our partners, or if we're lucky, we might embrace open honest communication and feel secure.
Yumi Stynes is joined by Clinical Neuropsychologist Dr Hannah Korrel to unpack your questions on love, relationships and conflict.
Further information:
Dr Hannah Korrel is a Neuropsychologist who runs the Sydney Neuropsych clinic.
Her book How to break up with friends is publish by Impact Press.
This episode will answer questions like:
What is attachment theory?
What are the different attachment styles?
How do attachment styles affect relationships?
What is my attachment style?
Can attachment styles change over time?
What to listen to next:
Relationship resuscitation — coming back from the brink — ABC listen
The new way to date — ABC listen
"Where the hell is my husband?" Women who've never had a partner — ABC listen
Family Feuds: Is estrangement the new normal? — ABC listen
You can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.
What to read next:
Why these women have never had a partner
The women staying single by choice in a world of relentless dating pressure
This episode contains references to attachment, attachment theory, attachment styles, family, relationships, arguments, conflict, avoidance, anxiety, security, attached, dating, parenting, love

The Beckhams know about it. Hilary Duff's been through it. Harry and Meghan could write a handbook. Family estrangement is brutal, but when there's a rift, can it be repaired?
Beyond the celebrity headlines, the "no contact" movement has been gaining traction online as children cut themselves off from their parents, parents find themselves out in the cold and rigid boundaries strain what's left of family bonds.
In this episode, Yumi Stynes talks to women who've been through the pain of family estrangement. She finds out what led to the rift and how letting go can be a form of healing.
You'll also hear from clinical psychologist Dr Kayla Steele with tips on navigating family break ups – from learning how to move on or figuring out how to mend a broken relationship.
This episode will answer questions like:
Why does estrangement happen?
What should I do if I've been cut off?
Is it ok to go "no contact" with a family member?
How can I talk to a family member who's estranged?
How can I move forward?
What to listen to next:
Where's my village? Esther Perel on how to build community
Emotional labour with Rose Hackman — ABC listen
Embracing imperfection was the key to Astrid's success — ABC listen
The price of perfectionism — ABC listen
You can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.
What to read next:
Building a village means showing up even when it feels hard, says Esther Perel
Why these women took marriage sabbaticals — and how it went — ABC News
What loving someone with an addiction or dependence can look like
The dark side of being a perfectionist
This episode contains references to estrangement, grief, dishonesty, loss, illness, family, depression, anxiety, relationships, arguments, confrontation, isolation, alienation