Securely Attached

As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most popular and foundational episodes in Securely Attached history.
 
When children are overwhelmed by big feelings, many parents wonder how to help them calm down, listen, or use the coping skills they've been taught. But before children can regulate themselves, they first need to experience regulation through relationships.
In this conversation, I sit down with early childhood specialist Dana Rosenbloom, founder of Dana's Kids, to explore the powerful role co-regulation plays in helping children develop emotional regulation skills, resilience, and self-awareness.
 
Together we discuss:
 
What co-regulation is and why it is the foundation of emotional development.

Why emotional dysregulation is often contagious for both parents and children.

How to stay grounded when your child is overwhelmed by big feelings.

Why the goal is not to be perfectly calm all the time.

How children learn emotional regulation through our modeling and presence.

Why getting comfortable with your child's discomfort can be one of the most important parenting skills.

The difference between being a detective and being a teacher during challenging moments.

How to respond when your child is upset about a limit you've set.

Why a child's rejection of a boundary is not a reflection of your effectiveness as a parent.

The role repair plays in building resilience, confidence, and connection.

 
This conversation offers a compassionate and practical framework for understanding children's behavior through the lens of regulation rather than compliance. Dana reminds us that emotional outbursts are not signs that we've failed as parents or that our children are failing. They are opportunities for connection, learning, and growth. Most importantly, this episode is a powerful reminder that before we can co-regulate with our children, we must first learn how to regulate ourselves.
 
⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐
 
If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
 
- The best way parents can tell their children that they are planning to separate or get divorced.
- How to approach this conversation in a way that helps children feel safe, supported, and loved.
- What parents should share, what they should avoid sharing, and why it's important to focus on what you know rather than what you don't know yet.
- The key reassurances every child needs to hear, even if they never ask the questions out loud.
- Why children of different ages may react very differently to the news and how to tailor your approach to your child's developmental stage.
- How to respond when children react with sadness, anger, blame, resistance, or seemingly no reaction at all.
- Practical ways to help children adjust to changes in the family while maintaining a sense of stability and connection.
- When it may be helpful to involve a therapist or family professional for additional support.
 
This episode will help you approach one of the most difficult conversations a family can face with greater confidence, compassion, and clarity while supporting your child's emotional well-being through the transition.
 
 
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
 
👉 Navigating separation or divorce? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized support at every stage of the process, including therapy and coaching, parenting and co-parenting support, family therapy, and weekly divorce groups for women and children. Whether you're in the middle of a split or adjusting to a new family structure, our team is here to help you and your children feel steady and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family.
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about busting divorce myths and breaking down the true effect it has on children with Michelle Dempsey-Multack
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating divorce or separation through a family systems approach with Una Archer
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether "nesting" during a divorce better for your kids?
 
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
 
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Debbie Reber, founder of Tilt Parenting and author of Differently Wired, joins me for a deeply honest conversation about what it really means to raise a neurodivergent child and why supporting these children begins with changing the way we understand them, not trying to change who they are.
 
Together we explore:
 
What it really means to be "differently wired" and why that shift in language matters.

Why so many parents of neurodivergent children feel isolated, even as awareness continues to grow.

The hidden emotional work of parenting children with ADHD, autism, and other forms of neurodivergence.

How understanding your child's nervous system can transform the way you respond to meltdowns and big emotions.

Why co-regulation starts with your own self-regulation and practical ways to support both.

How to move from trying to "fix" behavior to building connection, safety, and trust.

Why repair matters more than getting parenting "right."

How raising a neurodivergent child can lead parents into profound personal growth and healing of their own.

 
Whether you're parenting a neurodivergent child, wondering if your child might be differently wired, or simply looking for a more compassionate way to understand children's behavior, this conversation offers both practical tools and a powerful mindset shift.
 
 
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗Tilt Parenting 
📚 Differently Wired: A Parent's Guide to Raising an Atypical Child with Confidence and Hope 
📱IG: @tiltparenting FB: Tilt Parenting YouTube: Full-Tilt Parenting with Debbie Reber
 
 
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 
🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families 
📱IG: @drsarahbren
 
 
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 The Tilt Parenting Report
 
🎧 Full-Tilt Parenting: 10 Years Later: How We've Changed, How the Movement Has Grown (And What Comes Next) 
 
💻 Dr. Dan Siegel - Explains Mirror Neurons in Depth
 
🔗 Listen to Dr. Mona Delahooke on the Securely Attached podcast and read her book, Brain-Body Parenting 
 
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether a Neuropsych Evaluation is right for your child with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about secure attachment in autism: How to help neurodiverse kids build joy, confidence, and connection with Dr. Peter Vermeulen
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about ADHD and attachment security with Dr. Norrine Russell
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to modify traditional sleep strategies for neurodiverse brains with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
 
- How to support a child who struggles with separation anxiety, even at home.
- Why some kids follow their parents from room to room and constantly want to stay close.
- How to respond when your child says "I miss you" without accidentally reinforcing anxiety.
- Why validating your child's feelings is important, but rescuing them from distress can sometimes make separation harder over time.
- Simple ways to help children build confidence tolerating small separations through play, connection, and gradual stretching.
- How to figure out your child's "stretch point" so you can support growth without overwhelming them.
- Creative ways to use timers, playfulness, collaboration, and connection to help kids practice independence.
- How parents can reduce accommodations around anxiety while still staying warm, supportive, and emotionally attuned.
 
This episode will help you better understand what may be driving your child's clinginess or separation struggles and give you practical, compassionate strategies for helping them build confidence and independence over time.
 
 
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
 
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can have a smoother daycare or school drop-off
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping preschool parents prepare for drop-off, separation anxiety, and the development of social skills with Meredith Gary
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about where the line is between supporting your child and feeding their anxiety
 
 
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
 
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Dr. Jacob Ham, licensed clinical psychologist and Director of the Center for Trauma and Resilience at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, joins me for a profound conversation about trauma, attachment, presence, and the relational experiences that help us heal.
 
Together we explore:
 
- Why trauma is not defined solely by what happened to us, but by how those experiences continue to shape the way we relate to ourselves and others.
- The difference between living from a state of survival and living from a state of presence.
- How trauma can disrupt our natural capacity to move fluidly between connection, protection, openness, and autonomy.
- Why healing does not happen through insight alone, but through relationships that allow us to experience safety, reflection, and connection.
- The concept of reflective functioning and why it is one of the strongest predictors of secure attachment across generations.
- How becoming aware of our internal "chatter" can help us respond with greater compassion toward ourselves and our children.
- Why rupture and repair are a normal and necessary part of healthy relationships.
- How parents can begin breaking intergenerational cycles by cultivating curiosity, awareness, and presence.
 
This conversation offers a powerful reminder that secure attachment is not built through perfection. It is built through our willingness to stay present, remain open to reflection, and continually return to connection with ourselves and the people we love. Dr. Ham shares a deeply hopeful perspective on how healing happens and how even small moments of awareness can begin to transform the patterns we pass on to the next generation.