Securely Attached

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
 
- Whether letting your anxious child sleep in your bed reinforces anxiety or supports emotional security.
- The difference between attachment needs and anxiety accommodations.
- Why distress tolerance and secure attachment are not competing goals.
- How SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) approaches sleep struggles.
- What it actually means to "stop an accommodation" — and why sleep isn't always the first place to start.
- How to know if your child can't sleep alone or simply prefers not to.
- Why bedtime feels so loaded for parents and how to zoom out and look at the bigger picture.
- The research on attachment (including why you don't have to get it right 100% of the time).
- How to reduce anxiety without damaging your relationship with your child.
 
If your child struggles with separation anxiety at night, frequently climbs into your bed, or says he's too scared to sleep alone, this episode will help you step back from the all-or-nothing messaging and make a thoughtful, individualized decision that fits your family.
 
 
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
 
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
 
😴 Struggling with toddler bedtime battles? Download my ✨FREE✨ Toddler Sleep Guide with 7 concrete strategies backed by peer-reviewed research and anecdotally tested in my own practice, that you can implement with your children today to turn your bedtime struggles into solutions.
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with practical solutions for getting your child to stay in their own bed with Eileen Henry
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode to help you understand the basics of attachment theory and fostering your child's secure attachment bond
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about toddler sleep strategies 
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz 
 
 
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
 
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Michaeleen Doucleff, science journalist and author of Dopamine Kids, joins me to talk about what's really happening in our children's brains when it comes to screens, social media, and ultra-processed foods and why so many kids (and adults) feel stuck in cycles of constant wanting without real satisfaction.
 
Together we explore:
 
What dopamine actually does in the brain and why it's not simply the "pleasure chemical."
How screens and ultra-processed foods are engineered to tap into our children's seeking systems.
Why today's kids may be experiencing more craving and less true gratification.
Why simply taking screens away often backfires and what to replace them with instead.
How small, sustainable environmental shifts (not massive overhauls) can recalibrate your child's motivation system.
Practical ways to reduce screen use in the evenings, during transitions, and "on the go."
How involving your child in the process can increase autonomy, buy-in, and long-term success.
 
This conversation isn't about fear, shame, or unrealistic detoxes. It's about understanding the science of motivation so we can make thoughtful changes that bring more color, pleasure, and peace back into our homes.
 
 
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗Michaeleen Doucleff
📚Dopamine Kids: A Science-Based Plan to Rewire Your Child's Brain and Take Back Your Family in the Age of Screens and Ultraprocessed Foods
 
 
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 
📱@drsarahbren
 
 
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
 
🔗 Dr. Kent Berridge
🔗 Dr. Wolfram Schultz
📚 Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything by BJ Fogg, PhD
📄 From Tobacco to Ultraprocessed Food: How Industry Engineering Fuels the Epidemic of Preventable Disease 
🔗 Read Montague, Ph.D. 
📄 Sign‐tracking modulates reward‐related neural activation to reward cues, but not reward feedback 
🔗​​ Brick 
 
👉 Whether it's screens, power struggles, reactivity, or habits that are hard to shift, it can be incredibly difficult to see and change these cycles on your own. Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers in-person and virtual therapy and parent coaching to help you create meaningful, lasting change. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services or schedule a free 30-minute consultation to find the right support for your family.
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids with Dr. Kristen Lindquist
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating tantrums, big feelings, screen time and more with Dr. Laura Markham
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about reclaiming your focus and navigating distractions and screen time to become more present with Nir Eyal
 
🎧Listen to my podcast episode about stress, screens, shifting hormones, and early puberty with Dr. Sheryl Ziegler

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
 
What "kindergarten readiness" actually means (and what it doesn't).
Dr. Upshur and Dr. Bren share their personal experiences - with one choosing to send her child to kindergarten and the other deciding to hold her son back - and why.
The pros and cons of redshirting, and whether being one of the youngest in the class really leads to long-term struggles.
Why social-emotional readiness may matter less than you think.
How family logistics, finances, community norms, local school culture, and sibling dynamics can influence your decision.
What research says about long-term academic and life outcomes.
How to take the pressure off yourself so you can make a thoughtful, "good enough" choice.
 
If you're going back and forth about whether to send your child to kindergarten or wait another year, wondering if they're too sensitive or overwhelmed to start, or worried about making the "wrong" decision, this episode will help you zoom out, gather the right information, and move forward with more clarity and confidence.
 
 
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
 
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child success in preschool with Meredith Gary
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your toddler learn to share
 
 
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
 
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Devon Kuntzman, toddler expert and author of Transforming Toddlerhood, joins me to explain why the toddler years feel so intense and how understanding development can change everything.
 
Together we explore:
 
How toddlerhood is defined by contradictory needs for independence and attachment and why this creates so much emotional volatility.
How rapid cognitive, motor, and language development can leave toddlers feeling disoriented and overwhelmed.
How to slow down power struggles using developmentally informed tools like asking "What's your plan?" and turning "no" into "not yet."
Why helping toddlers organize their thinking supports regulation, impulse control, and cooperation.
How parents can stay flexible, grounded, and confident while navigating a stage that naturally pushes everyone's limits.
How to  grab your free spot in Devon's 9th Annual Transforming Toddlerhood Conference being held live virtually from March 11th-15th.
 
This episode is designed to help parents make sense of toddler behavior through a developmental lens, reduce self-blame, and walk away with practical strategies for setting limits while still supporting independence, emotional growth, and secure attachment.
 
 
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 Transforming Toddlerhood
 
🔗 Reserve your FREE spot in the Transforming Toddlerhood Conference 
 
🎧Listen to Devon's first Securely Attached podcast episode about how to effectively set limits, stay calm, and parent with confidence in toddlerhood
 
📚 Transforming Toddlerhood: How to Handle Tantrums, End Power Struggles, and Raise Resilient Kids—Without Losing Your Mind
 
 
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@transformingtoddlerhood
📱@drsarahbren
 
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 94. Toddler sleep: Why it's different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help them fall asleep, with Eileen Henry
 
🎧 90. Seeing the world through your toddler's eyes: Helping your child feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series
 
🎧 209. How can I get my toddler to share and play nicely with other kids?
 
🎧231. BTS: How can I build my toddler's assertiveness skills?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
 
- Whether it's okay to have different rules for different kids under the same roof in a blended family.
- How developmental differences and co-parenting agreements can shape household expectations.
- What to do when step-siblings notice (and protest) differences in discipline.
- How to align parenting styles in a blended family without creating resentment.
- Why transparency and age-appropriate conversations can actually strengthen family trust.
- How to approach your spouse when you feel protective, defensive, or out of sync.
 
If you're navigating parenting post-divorce in a blended family with different parenting plans and complex co-parenting relationships, struggling with fairness between step-siblings, or feeling unsure how to handle different rules in the same house, this episode offers clarity, nuance, and practical next steps.
 
 
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
 
👉🏻 Navigating separation or divorce? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized support at every stage of the process, including therapy and coaching, parenting and co-parenting support, family therapy, and weekly divorce groups for women and children. Whether you're in the middle of a split or adjusting to a new family structure, our team is here to help you and your children feel steady and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family.
 
 
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the best way to approach introducing your kids to your new significant other after a divorce
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode answering a mom who wondered if there was something she can do to strengthen her child's relationship with her ex 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting on the same page with your partner in parenthood 
 
 
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
 
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!