The Anxiety Coaches Podcast

In today's episode, Gina discusses the often anxiety provoking situations people can find themselves in around the holidays, especially attending family gatherings. Specific attention is devoted to how old emotional and attachment patterns can be reactivated while reunited with family. Being aware of how the nervous system responds to feelings of safety and threat can help us maintain safe boundaries during such gatherings. A number of suggestions for maintaining equilibrium during the holidays are included.

Stillpoint Fridays is my once-a-week Friday note — a slower, more personal reflection that’s different from what I share on the podcast.
If you’d like a quiet place to land as the week winds down, you can join here: http://eepurl.com/bR2F9P or on our website anxietycoachespodcast.com and sign up for the newsletter.

Please visit our Sponsor Page to find all the links and codes for our awesome sponsors! https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com/sponsors/

Website https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com

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Learn more about anxiety What is anxiety?

Free Guided Meditation for Calming Your Anxious Mind 10-Minute Body-Scan Meditation for Anxiety

Quote:

Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.

-Pema Chödrön

Chapters
0:23 Understanding Family Anxiety
4:23 How Family Patterns Shape Attachment
6:53 Attachment Styles at Holiday Gatherings
10:53 Nervous System Responses to Family
15:44 Preparing for Family Gatherings
17:22 Five Ways to Prepare
21:25 Responding When Old Patterns Return
23:29 Loving Family While Protecting Your Peace
25:40 Practicing Self-Compassion and Growth
27:12 Closing Thoughts and Quote

Summary
In this episode we explore why family gatherings during the holidays can bring back anxiety and familiar emotional responses, even after years of personal growth. We discuss how early relationship experiences can shape attachment patterns and how familiar people, settings, and conversations may activate those patterns.

We cover anxious, avoidant, fearful-avoidant, and secure tendencies as general patterns rather than fixed labels.We look at how the nervous system responds to perceived safety and danger in social situations, including states associated with connection, mobilization, and shutdown. These responses can show up as people-pleasing, defensiveness, irritability, withdrawal, or difficulty expressing ourselves. We consider how asking what our nervous system may be responding to can replace self-criticism with greater understanding.

We share five ways to prepare for a family gathering: identify likely triggers, settle the body beforehand, decide on boundaries, strengthen our connection with ourselves, and plan for breaks. If stress arises in the moment, we can notice bodily cues, orient to the present, pause before responding, and choose a response rather than repeating an old pattern.We discuss how we can care about family while protecting our peace, and how boundaries may range from limiting certain conversations to choosing not to attend when a relationship is unsafe. We close by considering old feelings as opportunities to practice new responses, treat ourselves with kindness, and make choices from self-respect.

#AnxietyCoachesPodcast #GinaRyan #HolidayAnxiety #FamilyGatherings #HolidayStress #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyles #AnxiousAttachment #AvoidantAttachment #SecureAttachment #NervousSystemRegulation #PolyvagalTheory #FamilyDynamics #SettingBoundaries #HealthyBoundaries #PeoplePleasing #SelfCompassion #GroundingTechniques #MentalHealthMatters #EmotionalHealing #PersonalGrowth #SelfAwareness #StressManagement #ProtectYourPeace #Mindfulness #AnxietyRelief #AnxietySupport #HolidaySeason #CopingStrategies #EmotionalRegulation #InnerWork #HealingJourney #FamilyTriggers #MentalWellness #CalmYourNervousSystem #ACP
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In today's episode, Gina discusses the distinction between parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems and how to use our understanding of these systems to help us regulate our response to stress and anxiety provoking circumstances. Gina identifies a number of symptoms associated with our sympathetic nervous system response as well as methods to get us back to our peaceful, rest and digest state.

Stillpoint Fridays is my once-a-week Friday note — a slower, more personal reflection that’s different from what I share on the podcast.
If you’d like a quiet place to land as the week winds down, you can join here: http://eepurl.com/bR2F9P or on our website anxietycoachespodcast.com and sign up for the newsletter.

Please visit our Sponsor Page to find all the links and codes for our awesome sponsors! https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com/sponsors/

Website https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com

Join our community Group Coaching Join our Group Coaching Full or Mini Membership Program

1:1 Coaching Learn more about our One-on-One Coaching

If you prefer to listen AD-FREE, try our Supercast premium access membership:

Learn more about anxiety What is anxiety?

Free Guided Meditation for Calming Your Anxious Mind 10-Minute Body-Scan Meditation for Anxiety

Quote:

True stability results when presumed order and presumed disorder are balanced. A truly stable system expects the unexpected, is prepared to be disrupted, waits to be transformed.

-Tom Robbins

Chapters
0:27 Calm Anxiety Through Adaptability
2:56 Understanding the Fear Cycle
6:15 Building Resilience and Flexibility
9:25 Coping With Chronic Stress
12:05 Making Time for Meditation
14:47 Closing Thoughts and Today’s Quote

Summary
This episode we discuss how anxiety can keep us in a cycle of fear and fight-or-flight, including the worry that physical sensations will return. We describe common responses such as a racing heart, sweating, shallow breathing, muscle tightness, trembling, tingling, and difficulty sleeping. These reactions are part of the body’s normal stress response, and becoming afraid of them can keep the cycle going.We talk about building adaptability by strengthening our resilience to internal and external stress.

Our capacity can be affected by both acute stress, which comes and goes, and chronic stress that offers little relief. Ongoing responsibilities, such as caregiving, can make it especially difficult to recover and regain a sense of balance.We discuss making small, regular opportunities to rest and catch our breath, particularly when we cannot change a stressful situation.

Meditation can help us settle, let go of some of the day’s stress, and feel better able to adapt. For those with unpredictable schedules, we suggest starting with a ten-minute meditation at bedtime and making it a daily practice.

#Anxiety #AnxietyRelief #PanicAttacks #FightOrFlight #NervousSystem #NervousSystemHealing #ParasympatheticNervousSystem #StressManagement #StressRelief #ChronicStress #Resilience #BuildingResilience #Adaptability #FearOfFear #AnxietySymptoms #AnxietySupport #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #MentalWellness #GuidedMeditation #BedtimeMeditation #SleepMeditation #Mindfulness #MindfulnessPractice #SelfCare #CalmYourMind #AnxietyRecovery #AnxietyCoachesPodcast #GinaRyan #ACP
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In today's episode, Gina shares an extensive bit of wisdom regarding the value of meditation and how to get started with basic meditation readily and easily. Using the instructions contained in this episode, listeners will have the opportunity to get started with meditation in as little as a single breath. A quiet guided meditation is included in the second half of the episode to help listeners get started with meditation, or for those already accustomed to meditation, to further their practice.

Stillpoint Fridays is my once-a-week Friday note — a slower, more personal reflection that’s different from what I share on the podcast.
If you’d like a quiet place to land as the week winds down, you can join here: http://eepurl.com/bR2F9P or on our website anxietycoachespodcast.com and sign up for the newsletter.

Please visit our Sponsor Page to find all the links and codes for our awesome sponsors! https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com/sponsors/

Website https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com

Join our community Group Coaching Join our Group Coaching Full or Mini Membership Program

1:1 Coaching Learn more about our One-on-One Coaching

If you prefer to listen AD-FREE, try our Supercast premium access membership:

Learn more about anxiety What is anxiety?

Free Guided Meditation for Calming Your Anxious Mind 10-Minute Body-Scan Meditation for Anxiety

Chapters
0:27 A Busy Mind Is Part of Meditation
3:27 Start Small and Find Your Way
5:07 Give Your Mind a Gentle Job
7:56 Practice Meditation with a Busy Mind
12:14 Listen, Notice, and Return
16:45 Pause, Breathe, Observe, Proceed
18:09 Carry the Practice into Daily Life

Summary
We discuss why a busy mind is not a sign of meditation failure. Meditation is the practice of noticing when attention wanders and gently returning it, with each return offering another opportunity to practice.We consider ways to make meditation more approachable, including beginning with a few breaths rather than setting a time goal. Stillness and closed eyes are not required: sitting, lying down, walking, or adjusting your position can all be part of the practice.

We also explore giving the mind a simple task by labeling what is happening, such as thinking, planning, worrying, or judging, then returning attention to an anchor. Anchors can include the breath, the feeling of the feet on the floor, sounds, air on the skin, or the texture of an object.We guide a meditation that moves attention among the breath, feet, sounds, and the sensation of a hand resting on the body. The practice includes noticing and naming distractions without trying to resolve or suppress them, and allowing movement when needed.

We introduce a brief pause practice: stop, take one breath, observe what is present, and proceed. This can be used during everyday moments, such as before responding to a message or entering a difficult conversation. We conclude by emphasizing that even one conscious breath or moment of noticing can be a meditation practice.

#AnxietyCoachesPodcast #GinaRyan #Meditation #BusyMind #Mindfulness #AnxietyRelief #MeditationForBeginners #MentalHealth #Presence #Breathwork #GuidedMeditation #StressRelief #SelfCare #Calmness #InnerPeace #AnxietyRecovery #MindBodyConnection #OvercomingAnxiety #Grounding #MindfulBreathing #StopOverthinking #Awareness #MeditationTips #StressManagement #PeacefulMind
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In today's episode, Gina shares the third and final part of her interview with author Scott Berkun. Scott finishes his story about tools and ways of thinking that have helped him overcome his own mental health challenges, including content from his newest book "How To Live". Listen in for Scott's upbeat and humorous wisdom regarding mental health recovery and living one's best life.
Find out more about Scott and his work at
https://scottberkun.com/
Stillpoint Fridays is my once-a-week Friday note — a slower, more personal reflection that’s different from what I share on the podcast.
If you’d like a quiet place to land as the week winds down, you can join here: http://eepurl.com/bR2F9P or on our website anxietycoachespodcast.com and sign up for the newsletter.

Please visit our Sponsor Page to find all the links and codes for our awesome sponsors! https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com/sponsors/

Website https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com

Join our community Group Coaching Join our Group Coaching Full or Mini Membership Program

1:1 Coaching Learn more about our One-on-One Coaching

If you prefer to listen AD-FREE, try our Supercast premium access membership:

Learn more about anxiety What is anxiety?

Free Guided Meditation for Calming Your Anxious Mind 10-Minute Body-Scan Meditation for Anxiety

Chapters
0:27 The Many Parts of the Mind
3:31 You Are More Than Your Thoughts
7:54 Meditation Without Getting It Wrong
10:06 Be Brave Enough to Begin
14:37 Worry, Self-Trust, and the Future
18:02 Closing the Loop

Summary
Scott Berkun and Gina Ryan discuss how the mind contains many interacting thoughts, feelings, and influences rather than a single, consistently rational voice. They note that people may mistake inner dialogue for something abnormal, and argue that learning to relate to different parts of oneself can support a more fulfilling life. Berkun connects this idea to his book, *How to Live: Rules for People Who Don’t Like Rules*, which questions common assumptions and encourages people to examine the rules and beliefs they follow.

They discuss the idea that people are not defined by their thoughts. Thoughts can arise from moods, bodily states, surroundings, memories, or other influences; they may be irrational or conflict with a person’s goals without dictating what that person does. Berkun describes noticing thoughts with some distance, rather than automatically acting on them. Meditation, journaling, and conversations with trusted friends can help people observe their mental activity.Ryan and Berkun also challenge the belief that meditation requires having no thoughts or that it can be done poorly. They describe it instead as spending time with oneself, being present without acting on every feeling or thought. They suggest that self-acceptance and patience may be difficult in a culture that expects activities to have a clear purpose or result.The conversation turns to fear of looking foolish when trying unfamiliar activities. Berkun says people become skilled through practice, and that beginners should expect awkwardness rather than judge themselves by expert standards. He links fear of embarrassment to people’s social nature, while noting that criticism or mistakes do not necessarily threaten belonging.

Ryan shares that public speaking and writing have brought both negative reactions and meaningful connections, and that no work will appeal to everyone.Asked what might help people who worry, Berkun emphasizes self-trust: worry can reflect doubt that one’s future self will be able to handle events. He suggests allowing that future self to respond when more is known, while acknowledging that worry can sometimes be useful. Ryan reflects on rebuilding trust in herself after a crisis through patience and sustained practice.Berkun directs listeners to scottberkun.com for information about him and his book. He and Ryan close by expressing appreciation for their conversation and for the role the podcast played in his life.

#AnxietyCoachesPodcast #GinaRyan #ScottBerkun #HowToLive #MentalHealth #AnxietyRelief #AnxietySupport #OvercomingAnxiety #Mindfulness #Meditation #YouAreNotYourThoughts #SelfAwareness #InnerDialogue #SelfTrust #StopWorrying #Stoicism #PersonalGrowth #SelfCompassion #MentalWellness #SelfImprovement #Psychology #InternalFamilySystems #MindsetShift #EmbraceTheUnfamiliar #SelfDiscovery #ACP
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In today's episode, Gina shares part two of her interview with author Scott Berkun. In addition to being a successful author, Scott has a listener to the Anxiety Coaches Podcast and a client of Gina Ryan's private coaching. Scott experienced a significant "mental breakdown" in the past and recovered over the course of about a year. Listen in as Scott describes his experience and some of the processes and tools that helped him overcome his difficulties with fear and anxiety.
Find out more about Scott and his work at
https://scottberkun.com/
Stillpoint Fridays is my once-a-week Friday note — a slower, more personal reflection that’s different from what I share on the podcast.
If you’d like a quiet place to land as the week winds down, you can join here: http://eepurl.com/bR2F9P or on our website anxietycoachespodcast.com and sign up for the newsletter.

Please visit our Sponsor Page to find all the links and codes for our awesome sponsors! https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com/sponsors/

Website https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com

Join our community Group Coaching Join our Group Coaching Full or Mini Membership Program

1:1 Coaching Learn more about our One-on-One Coaching

If you prefer to listen AD-FREE, try our Supercast premium access membership:

Learn more about anxiety What is anxiety?

Free Guided Meditation for Calming Your Anxious Mind 10-Minute Body-Scan Meditation for Anxiety

Chapters
0:27 Finding Calm Through Mischief
3:09 Modern Life and Our Natural Needs
7:18 Rebuilding Community and Connection
11:13 The Turning Point in Recovery
15:39 Accepting Feelings Through Practice
17:14 Preparing for Future Challenges

Summary
In today's episode, Gina shares part two of her interview with author Scott Berkun. In addition to being a successful author, Scott has a listener to the Anxiety Coaches Podcast and a client of Gina Ryan's private coaching. Scott experienced a significant "mental breakdown" in the past and recovered over the course of about a year. Listen in as Scott describes his experience and some of the processes and tools that helped him overcome his difficulties with fear and anxiety.

Chapters
0:27 Finding Calm Through Mischief
3:09 Modern Life and Our Natural Needs
7:18 Rebuilding Community and Connection
11:13 The Turning Point in Recovery
15:39 Accepting Feelings Through Practice
17:14 Preparing for Future Challenges

Summary
We continue our conversation with Scott Berkun about the ideas behind his book and its cover, which features a laughing skeleton. Scott describes it as an image of the trickster spirit: mischief can challenge how seriously we take ourselves and remind us to appreciate being alive amid pressure to achieve and keep up with modern life.We discuss whether modern society contributes to stress and disconnection. Scott reflects on Freud’s argument that civilization brought rules, bureaucracies, jobs and careers that can complicate mental well-being, while Gina recalls how people once found relief through neighbors and small gatherings.

We also talk about how online contact can extend beyond the small communities people are suited to know, and how difficult it can be to build supportive relationships when connection is needed most.Scott shares how, during a mental health crisis, he organized a daily schedule of seeing a different friend each day for several months. He describes the support this gave him and the challenge of creating such connections while anxious or depressed. We consider whether communities and organized groups could help people find regular social support.Scott explains that finding a helpful therapist, reliable mental-health resources and breathing exercises helped him gain stability. Recovery took about a year, and he gradually stopped comparing himself with an idealized version of his past self.

He also discusses how reading *Radical Acceptance* helped him become more present with difficult feelings, and how patience, meditation and regular practice supported his recovery.We close by discussing the value of learning meditation and tolerating small discomforts before a crisis. Scott says earlier experience with meditation and journaling gave him useful habits, though his crisis remained overwhelming, and argues that people could benefit from learning more about how the mind works.

#AnxietyCoachesPodcast #GinaRyan #ScottBerkun #MentalHealth #AnxietyRelief #Mindfulness #Meditation #RadicalAcceptance #TaraBrach #MentalHealthAwareness #InnerPeace #StressManagement #OvercomingAnxiety #SelfHelp #EmotionalWellness #CommunitySupport #DunbarsNumber #Psychology #SelfCare #HealingJourney #MentalHealthRecovery #EasternPhilosophy #Wellness #MentalHealthMatters #MindfulnessPractice #ACP
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.