this is bipolar

In this powerful and practical conversation, Shaley sits down with therapist and author Diana Partington to unpack what Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) actually is—and why it can be a game-changer for people living with bipolar disorder.

Diana shares her deeply personal story of living with suicidality for decades before discovering DBT, the therapy that finally gave her the “toolbox” she had been searching for. Together, Shaley and Diana explore how DBT differs from traditional CBT, why mindfulness doesn’t mean “emptying your mind,” and how skills like Wise Mind, emotional regulation, and the PLEASE skill can help stabilize mood, increase awareness, and create buffer zones before episodes escalate.

This episode is a relatable, stigma-breaking look at learning skills after years of thinking you already should know them—and how small, practical tools can make a life-saving difference.

Whether you’re newly diagnosed, supporting someone with bipolar disorder, or looking for concrete strategies that actually work in real life, this conversation brings hope, validation, and actionable insight.

⏱️ Key Moments
(00:10:32) Why DBT felt different from every therapy Diana had tried before
(00:13:48) The “toolbox” metaphor—and why skills matter more than insight alone
(00:18:21) How DBT was originally developed to treat suicidality, not just diagnoses
(00:22:05) The problem with CBT for highly sensitive or suicidal individuals
(00:26:40) The DBT philosophy: therapists are not the experts—you are
(00:30:12) Understanding Emotion Mind, Reasonable Mind, and Wise Mind
(00:34:55) Can you access Wise Mind during bipolar symptoms? Practical realities
(00:39:18) Catching hypomania early: recognizing patterns “at the beginning of the curve”
(00:44:02) The PLEASE skill explained—why sleep, medication, and routine are foundational
(00:49:27) Mindfulness redefined: it’s not meditation, it’s learning to observe your mind

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening. If this episode or podcast means something to you, I would be forever grateful if you could give a five star review so it can reach people that need it. 

You can also share this conversation with someone who could use a few more tools in their toolbox—and remember: skills can be learned at any stage of the journey.

We have a peer support group on instagram  and you are invited to connect on IG: @this.is.bipolar

Want to connect or work with Shaley? email [email protected]  

Buy "DBT for Life" by Diana Partington here  

Register for Online Workshops 

 

More about Diana: 

Diana Partington is a licensed professional counselor and author of DBT for Life: Skills to transform the way you live. She offers online DBT skills classes, workshops, and training for clients and clinicians across North America. She wrote her master’s thesis at Vanderbilt on effectively teaching DBT skills for different learning styles. Passionate about making DBT skills accessible to everyone, Diana also speaks at major conferences and provides bespoke training for mental health professionals. Her website, DBTforLife.com (https://dbtforlife.com/talking-and-training/www.DBTforLife.com), is a hub of information about Dialectical Behavior Therapy, her educational offerings, 
her book, and her podcast "Suffering Optional: DBT and the Dharma" You can also connect with Diana on IG @sufferingoptional.

In this heartfelt and hope-filled episode of This Is Bipolar, Shaley and Dr. Andrea Vassilev meet in real life for the very first time in Los Angeles and dive deep into one of the most meaningful (and complicated) topics when living with bipolar disorder: friendships.

Together, they explore how bipolar disorder can impact connection, consistency, communication, and trust — from ghosting during depression to intensity, oversharing, and irritability during hypomania or mania. They talk openly about shame, grief, self-stigma, and the fear of being “too much,” while also highlighting the incredible strengths people with bipolar bring to friendships: empathy, loyalty, creativity, and deep emotional insight.

This episode also offers practical guidance for:

Navigating disclosure with friends

Asking for what you actually need during different mood states

Supporting loved ones with bipolar (and letting them support you)

Finding peer connection through bipolar communities and support groups

Above all, this conversation is a reminder that you are worthy of friendship, connection, and love — exactly as you are.

 6 Important Timestamps

(00:03:40) — Meeting online, becoming real-life friends & why bipolar friendships matter

(00:08:55) — How depression affects consistency, ghosting, and friendships

(00:17:30) — Hypomania, intensity, irritability & how it can strain relationships

(00:25:45) — Grief, shame, oversharing & repairing friendships after episodes

(00:32:40) — Disclosure: how, when, and why telling friends can help

(00:44:50) — Reframing self-stigma & recognizing what makes you a great friend

Connect with us:

IG @this.is.bipolar

Youtube: this is bipolar channel

TT @this.is.bipolar

Be sure to sign up for my newsletter at thisisbipolar.com to get a free "Bipolar Travel Toolkit" PDF to help you prepare ahead and manage bipolar disorder while traveling. 

Chapter Markers:

(00:02:58) Andrea's Upcoming Book

(00:03:07) Andrea's Trip to Japan

(00:10:35) Medication Challenges

(00:14:20) Importance of Prevention

(00:16:26) Conference Experience

(00:21:11) Planning for Business Trips

(00:27:04) Post Travel Reflections

(00:28:17) Shaley's Camping Trip

(00:34:17) Balancing Expectations

(00:37:23) Memorable Moments

_________________________________________________________________

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening. If this episode or podcast means something to you, I would be forever grateful if you would follow/subscribe the ‘this is bipolar’ podcast wherever you listen to your podcasts so you stay up to date. It would also mean the world to me if you gave a 5 ⭐️ star review- this helps the podcast reach those who need to hear it most. 

Much love, Shaley xo 

More about your Host:

Shaley Hoogendoorn is a speaker, content creator and currently hosts the popular “this is bipolar” vlog and podcast. She lives with bipolar 2 disorder and shares her story and the stories of others to dismantle the stigma around mental illness. Shaley’s greatest hope is that creating safe spaces to connect will give hope and comfort those that struggle.

Meet our Guest Co-Host:

Dr. Andrea Vassilev holds a doctorate in psychology, is a therapist in California, and has lived with bipolar disorder for over 25 years. Andrea is the creator of the program Overcoming Self-Stigma in Bipolar Disorder and serves on the Board of Directors of the International Society for Bipolar Disorders. As a clinician and academic with lived experience, Andrea brings a special perspective to both her professional and advocacy work. Andrea hopes that by telling her own story of life with bipolar disorder through the lenses of clinical causes, treatments, and outcomes that she can provide education, hope, and comfort to others. You can connect with her on Instagram @best.life.bipolar or at www.andreavassilev.com. Be sure to pre-order Dr. Andrea's book - releases July 1st 2026

Beyond the Bipolar Label: A Workbook to Overcome Self-Stigma, Break Free from Shame and Live Authentically

In this deeply honest episode of this Is bipolar, Shaley sits down with a guest Jess who shares her lived experience of being diagnosed with bipolar I after antidepressant-induced mania and psychosis in college — and what it took to rebuild a life of stability, work, love, and motherhood.

Together, they unpack what psychosis and mania actually feel like in the body, how symptoms can be rooted in reality, and why bipolar disorder is better understood as a spectrum rather than a box. The conversation moves through medication missteps, the fear of hospitalization, suicidal ideation, and the long road to finding the right psychiatrist and treatment.

They also dive deeply into parenthood with bipolar disorder — pregnancy decisions, staying on medication, sleep protection, guilt, support systems, and why putting your mental health first is putting your child first.

This episode is validating, nuanced, and full of moments that will resonate with anyone living with bipolar disorder — or loving someone who is.

this is bipolar...

Chapter markers:

(00:07:00) Childhood trauma & missed signs

(00:14:20) When psychosis first hit

(00:18:30) The phone call that saved her

(00:22:30) Living in constant cycling

(00:30:20) The meds that changed everything

(00:33:30) Inside bipolar psychosis

(00:48:30) Bipolar isn’t black & white

(01:06:00) Motherhood with bipolar

Connect with us:

IG @this.is.bipolar

Youtube: this is bipolar channel

TT @this.is.bipolar

Be sure to sign up for my newsletter at thisisbipolar.com 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening. If this episode or podcast means something to you, I would be forever grateful if you would follow/subscribe the ‘this is bipolar’ podcast wherever you listen to your podcasts so you stay up to date. It would also mean the world to me if you gave a 5 ⭐️ star review- this helps the podcast reach those who need to hear it most. 

Much love, Shaley xo

 

MEET JESS:

Jess Curtis was diagnosed with bipolar 1 during her sophomore year of college. After a decade of ineffective treatment and poor self-care, she achieved stability by self-advocating for better medication and making healthy lifestyle changes. 

As a bipolar advocate, Jess strives to be the friend and mentor she needed when she was first diagnosed with bipolar.

On her YouTube channel Our Bipolar (https://youtube.com/@ourbipolar), she posts videos to break stigma, offer support, and promote better understanding of bipolar disorder.

She also shares her story with high school and college students as part of NAMI's In Our Own Voice program and has been a keynote speaker at mental health events.

You can find her on Facebook and Instagram at OurBipolar. Jess lives in Pittsburgh with her husband Bryan, daughter Pearson, and dog Lucy. She works for a nonprofit as assistant managing editor for scientific journals.

BEST OF 2025

Welcome back to 'This is Bipolar,' where Shaley Hoogendoorn, a passionate mental health advocate living with Bipolar 2 disorder, invites us into a heartfelt conversation about navigating change as we head into 2025. Alongside her friend and new co-host, Dr. Andrea Vasilev, a doctor of psychology also living with bipolar, they explore the complexities of the New Year's transition for those living with bipolar disorder.

Glammed up in sparkling New Year's dresses (which you can see on the Youtube version), the duo dives into the challenges and expectations that come with the start of a new year, offering hope and alternative perspectives on how to approach personal goals and resolutions. Their stories and practical insights help shed light on managing life's pressures, accepting one's bipolar journey, and finding solidarity in shared experiences.

With emphasis on connection, self-acceptance, and redefining success, Shaley and Andrea encourage listeners to embrace their unique path, sharing methods they've employed to cultivate resilience and joy. Join them in this engaging episode, which reminds us that our stories aren't over and that there is profound strength in our shared journey.

this is bipolar...

(02:36) Welcoming Guest Co-Host

(04:15) Embracing New Years Themes

(07:54) Navigating Holiday Stress

(12:59) Body memory & bipolar

(14:53) The pressure of self-improvement

(17:35) Goals vs Resolutions

(21:16) Celebrating Small Achievements 

(27:41) Accepting bipolar disorder

(32:30) The Journey to Self-Love 

(35:45) Redefining Success

(40:29) Finding Joy in Quirkiness

(44:40) Closing Thoughts on Acceptance

Follow IG @this.is.bipolar

Youtube: this is bipolar channel

TT @this.is.bipolar

 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening. If this episode or podcast means something to you, I would be forever grateful if you would follow/subscribe the ‘this is bipolar’ podcast wherever you listen to your podcasts so you stay up to date. It would also mean the world to me if you gave a 5 ⭐️ star review- this helps the podcast reach those who need to hear it most. 

If you are looking to connect with a caring bipolar community or a support group, you can subscribe on Instagram and be added to a peer support chat and have access to a peer support meeting every month. We would love to see you there.

Much love, Shaley xo 

 

About our guest cohost:

Dr. Andrea Vassilev holds a doctorate in psychology, is a therapist in California, and has lived with bipolar disorder for over 25 years. Andrea is the creator of the program Overcoming Self-Stigma in Bipolar Disorder and serves on the Board of Directors of the International Society for Bipolar Disorders. As a clinician and academic with lived experience, Andrea brings a special perspective to both her professional and advocacy work. Andrea hopes that by telling her own story of life with bipolar disorder through the lenses of clinical causes, treatments, and outcomes that she can provide education, hope, and comfort to others. You can connect with her on Instagram @best.life.bipolar or at www.andreavassilev.com. * to hear Andrea's full story scroll back to our 'Conversations with' episode or the 'Self stigma episode".

In this BEST of 2023 bonus episode, Coping with Christmas, mental health advocates Shaley Hoogendoorn and Charise Jewell revisit one of our most-loved holiday conversations about navigating the season while living with bipolar disorder.

Shaley and Charise share personal experiences, practical strategies, and honest reflections on what has helped them manage — and sometimes even enjoy — the holidays. From laugh-out-loud moments (yes, hypomanic stocking-stuffing made the cut) to deeply heartfelt stories, this episode offers real-life insight into the traditions that worked… and the ones that absolutely didn’t.

Charise was one of the very first guests on This Is Bipolar, so listeners are encouraged to check out her original “Conversations With” episode to hear her full story. Charise is honest, kind, and deeply resilient. Her openness about her diagnosis — both online and in her book Crazy; A Memoir of a Mom Gone Mad — continues to pave the way for all of us to bravely share our own journeys.

CHAPTER MARKERS: 
Here is the list of chapter markers:
 * (00:00:09) Welcome to Conversations With
 * (00:00:42) Tips for Surviving Holidays
 * (00:05:10) Changes in Family Dynamics
 * (00:06:25) The Importance of Saying No
 * (00:08:32) Managing Holiday Indulgences
 * (00:15:53) Navigating Family Gatherings
 * (00:28:23) Creating New Traditions
 * (00:47:40) Finding Moments of Joy
 * (01:00:26) Embracing Small Acts of Joy
 * (01:07:43) Encouragement for Those Struggling
 
✨ Tips sprinkled throughout this BEST OF episode include:

• Make a list of the things you actually want to do so you don’t overbook yourself with obligations driven by “everyone else.”

• Know your capacity — and plan your holiday activities within it.

• Identify your triggers ahead of time. Note what worked and what didn’t in past years, and create a plan for situations that may arise at mandatory family gatherings. Be sure to listen for how Shaley navigates conversations around race, gender, and politics — having a prepared phrase can help diffuse tense moments.

• Find a place of refuge when you need a break — even if your only options are the bathroom or your car.

• Drive your own vehicle or arrange your own transportation so you can step out, take a breather, or leave if things become overwhelming.

• Schedule time for small moments of joy — even the little things count.

• Be honest. You don’t have to pretend to be holly-jolly if you’re not. Often, honesty opens the door to deeper connection — chances are, others feel the same way.

• Have safe people you can check in with who remind you how loved you are. If that feels hard, connecting with others online who live with mental illness can be incredibly validating. You’re always welcome to message Charise or me on Instagram — we’re happy to listen or offer encouragement.

…and so much more.

This is Bipolar.

🤍 A note from Shaley
To my listeners — thank you for being here. If this episode or this podcast means something to you, I would be so grateful if you’d favourite this account and follow/subscribe to the This Is Bipolar podcast wherever you listen, so you never miss an episode. Leaving a 5-⭐️ review also helps this podcast reach those who need it most.

If you’d like deeper conversations and more access to my guests and community, head over to @this.is.bipolar on Instagram and become a subscriber. There are so many extras that come along with it. Thank you for supporting me and this podcast 🤍
— Shaley

🌿 Meet Charise
A voracious reader and aspiring writer since childhood, Charise Jewell was born in Germiston, South Africa, and immigrated to Canada at age seven. She holds an Honours B.Eng. in Mechanical Engineering from McGill University and spent fifteen years working as a robotics engineer before becoming a writer.

Charise proudly lives with bipolar I disorder and advocates for the fair and dignified treatment of people living with mental illness. She lives in Toronto with her husband and three children.

🔗 Learn more at AND purchase her books at www.charisejewell.com
📲 Follow her on Instagram @reesechaell