We Gotta Thing - Exploring Non-Monogamy

Non-monogamy can be about much more than sex with other people. For us, it has enriched our relationship, created meaningful friendships, and changed the way we move through everyday life. In this episode, we explore how the lessons we've learned through ethical non-monogamy show up in our relationships with family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and even when meeting strangers. 
We discuss the important distinction between being honest about who you are as a couple and oversharing the private details of your sex life. We've learned how to define our relationship on our own terms rather than allowing family, friends, religion, age, or societal expectations to define it for us.
Mentioned in this episode:
Contact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months!
Book your Desire Resorts trip here
Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios:
We Gotta Thing
Playtime 
Dressed to Undress

Emotions are having a moment—and they're affecting everything from our broader culture to our most intimate relationships. In this episode, Kel from Expansive Connection joins us to explore how fear of uncomfortable feelings, emotional manipulation, codependency, and unregulated emotional expression can influence our decisions and cause harm. These challenges can become even more intense in ethical non-monogamy, where jealousy, insecurity, vulnerability, and uncertainty often bring powerful emotions to the surface. Navigating these adult relationships successfully requires an equally mature ability to understand and manage what we feel.
In this episode we'll examine how emotions are created in the brain, why they are essential, and how "affective realism" can cause us to mistake what we feel for what is objectively true. Kel also shares practical ways to strengthen emotional intelligence and emotional fitness—including noticing and naming feelings, pausing before reacting, separating feelings from facts, and communicating more effectively. Uncomfortable emotions are inevitable, but avoiding them means missing valuable opportunities for growth, deeper self-awareness, and stronger relationships.
Mentioned in this episode:
The Feelings Wheel
How We Feel
Expansive Connection Coaching
Join the We Gotta Thing Community

Sexuality is complex. Sexuality is diverse. Sexuality is More Than Monogamy.
More Than Monogamy is a feature-length documentary film about non-monogamy, polyamory, open relationships, swinging, kink, and ethical non-monogamy. The film explores the many relationship structures that exist beyond traditional monogamy, often referred to collectively as "The Lifestyle."
Combining real-life experiences with expert insight, this sexuality and relationships documentary is designed to be both educational and entertaining, offering clear explanations of modern relationship dynamics. The film examines why non-monogamous relationships can be deeply fulfilling for some individuals and couples—while also acknowledging why they may not be the right fit for everyone.
More Than Monogamy features in-depth interviews with leading experts in human sexuality, relationship psychology, sex education, and intimacy, including:
Dr. Justin Lehmiller – sex researcher and author

Dr. Liz Powell – licensed psychologist and relationship expert

Kevin A. Patterson – writer and educator on race, sexuality, and polyamory

Kitty Chambliss – author, certified coach, and relationship expert

Billy Procida – podcast host and sexuality commentator

Kenneth Play – intimacy coach and sex-positive educator

Dirty Lola – sex educator and media personality
 

Through honest conversations and accessible storytelling, the film breaks down common myths surrounding polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, kink, and open relationships, while encouraging viewers to think critically about love, commitment, communication, and consent.
Whether you are curious about non-monogamy, already part of the lifestyle, or simply interested in learning more about modern relationships and sexuality, More Than Monogamy serves as an informative, respectful, and judgment-free introduction.
The Film
https://www.morethanmonogamy.com/
Our Social media can be found on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok @morethanmonogamyfilm
 
Dillon's work can be found here 
https://www.allthebirdsllc.com/
and his socials are @all.the.birds.film
 
Spark Erotic Work can be found here
https://sparkerotic.com
https://urvashiseye.com
 
Contact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months!
Book your Desire Resorts trip here
Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios:
We Gotta Thing
Playtime 
Dressed to Undress

Kink is often misunderstood, wrapped in myths, stereotypes, and cultural taboos that obscure what it's really about. In this episode, we unpack what kink is—and just as importantly, what it isn't. From broad definitions of BDSM and the idea that kink is simply "whatever is taboo for you," we explore why modern media often gets it wrong by focusing on shock value while overlooking the foundations of communication, consent, negotiation, safety, and aftercare. We'll also challenge common misconceptions that kink is abusive, anti-feminist, or only about pain.
Theresa from Expansive Connection will help us break down the different elements of BDSM and explain how many forms of play overlap, emphasizing that the labels matter far less than the connection and experience they create. Whether you're simply curious or already exploring, understanding the diversity of kink opens the door to seeing it through a much more informed and compassionate lens.
Most importantly, we'll discuss why so many couples and consensually non-monogamous relationships find value in exploring kink. Join us as we explore how embracing curiosity and authenticity can deepen intimacy, strengthen connection, and remind us that desire isn't something to fear—it's an opportunity to grow together.
Below are resources that referenced during this podcast:
- The Erotic Blueprints, Miss Jaiya: https://missjaiya.com/
- Midori:  www.planetmidori.com
- NCSF (National Coalition for Sexual Freedom): https://ncsfreedom.org/
- NOW (National Organization for Women): https://now.org/
- Journal of Sexual Medicine 2008 study "Demographic and Psychosocial Features of Participants in BDSM":  https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2008.00795.x
- Journal of Homosexuality 2006 study "Understanding Sadomasochism: An Empirical Examination of Four Perspectives":  https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J082v50n02_07

The phrase "taking one for the team" is often treated as a hard boundary in ethical non-monogamy, but we think the reality is far more nuanced. For us, attraction is rarely determined by physical appearance alone. Decisions about whether to pursue a connection are influenced by a combination of factors including chemistry, personality, intelligence, behavior, relationship dynamics, safety, sobriety, and sometimes that unexplainable "ick" factor. 
We also discuss whether there are times when "taking one for the team" can actually be a positive experience. When you feel emotionally and physically safe, genuinely enjoy someone's company, and trust a couple you've come to know, a lack of immediate physical attraction or chemistry doesn't necessarily have to end the conversation. By keeping an open mind, couples may discover rewarding experiences and relationships they otherwise would have overlooked.
Ultimately, deciding whether to play should always be a mutual decision made without pressure, guilt, or obligation—and any "no" should be accepted graciously and without lingering consequences. We believe there is a spectrum between holding out for the elusive perfect four-way connection and feeling obligated to "take one for the team." 
Mentioned in this episode:
Contact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months!
Strictly Anonymous podcast with Mr Jones cancer story
Book your Desire Resorts trip here
Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios:
We Gotta Thing
Playtime 
Dressed to Undress
More Than Monogamy documentary