For The Hayters

You make decent money. You're contributing something to your 401(k). You think you're good. But what if I told you there's free money sitting on the table — money your employer literally wants to give you — and most people have no idea they're walking away from it?
This week on Wallet Therapy, Becky admits she spent years contributing 2% to her 401(k) and missing out on her full employer match (oof), and Alex breaks down the part of your paycheck you might not even know you're leaving behind.
We get into:
What an employer match actually IS (explained like you're five)
Why this is step five on your money journey — and when it's okay to skip ahead
The "paycheck illusion" and why contributing $100 doesn't actually take $100 out of your check
Roth vs. Traditional 401(k) — and why Alex has strong feelings about it
Real numbers: what starting at 20 vs. 30 vs. 40 vs. 50 actually looks like at retirement
Why it's NEVER too late to start (and the math to prove it)

Your homework: Log into your 401(k) right now. Check your contribution percentage. Is it hitting your full employer match? If not, increase it today. That's it. That's the assignment.

🎟️ Want to ask Alex your specific 401(k) questions live? Join us May 14th at 6pm in our Wallet Therapy Live session on Patreon → patreon.com/beckyhater

Try Monarch: Get 50% off your first year → https://monarch.com/referral/ey3kkk8c7e
Connect with us:
Join the Live Therapy: Support the show and join our monthly live Q&As at patreon.com/beckyhayter.
Share your story: Email us at [email protected] to have your financial scenario featured on the show!

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: parental death, grief, generational trauma, brain surgery, mentions of medical events.
Laura and Este grew up in the same massive Italian family — same Christmases, same wedding tables, same kitchen — and barely spoke for the first 20 years of their lives. Then Laura's dad died. This conversation is about grief, immigrant parents, generational patterns, and the cousin who became her person inside a family she'd known her whole life.
Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.
🔹 New episodes drop every Monday!
🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter
🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters
🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]
🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com
🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: parental abandonment, complicated grief, dementia, caregiver burnout, complex family dynamics.
Danielle was raised by a single mom with a disability in the same small town as the father who chose not to be part of her life. Now she's parenting her own daughter while becoming a caregiver for the mother who raised her — who's living with dementia. This conversation is about growing up early, grieving a door that never opened, and learning to love in two directions at once.
Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.
🔹 New episodes drop every Monday!
🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter
🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters
🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]
🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com
🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

70% of couples argue about money more than they argue about chores — and yet nobody teaches us how to actually talk about it. Becky gets real this week, confessing that the second she downloaded Monarch and started tracking every dollar, Leah felt like she was being audited (in her defense, the mystery $450 Amazon charge turned out to be baby formula). She's said no to dinners with friends, her social life feels strained, and now she's wondering — is getting your money together supposed to cost you your relationships? If you've ever felt the squeeze between financial goals and the people you love, this one is for you.
The Solution: Alex (The Expert) walks through the three conversations every couple needs to be having — and the mindset shifts that make them work:
The Vision Date: Start with dreams, not numbers. Where do you want to be in 1, 3, 5, 10 years? Shared goals are what make the spending plan actually stick.
The Monthly Check-In: 15-20 minutes, consistent, awareness not judgment. No hour-long money court sessions.
The Emergency Huddle: When the unexpected hits, no blame — just solution.
The 50/50 Trap: Why splitting bills equally when incomes aren't equal quietly causes financial infidelity — and why a percentage-based split is almost always more fair.
The Friendship Tax: How to handle friends who spend at a different level than you (spoiler: the counter-offer changes everything).
Your Most Expensive Relationship: Why your phone is quietly costing you more than any person in your life, and the 24-hour rule that helps you break up with it.
Plus, we answer a question from Anonymous — she's over 50, just told her husband about $10K in credit card debt, and he suggested separate fun accounts + a shared household account. Alex walks her through exactly where to start.
Schedule a vision date with your partner this week (or your future one — this still works solo). No spreadsheets. No numbers. Just dreams. Where do you want to be in 1, 3, 5, 10 years? Making it public makes it real.

Try Monarch (the app Becky mentioned): Get 50% off your first year → https://monarch.com/referral/ey3kkk8c7e

Connect with us:
Join the Live Therapy: Support the show and join our monthly live Q&As at patreon.com/beckyhayter.
Share your story: Email us at [email protected] to have your financial scenario featured on the show!

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trigger Warning: This episode contains detailed discussions of pregnancy loss, stillbirth, infant death, and postpartum depression.
After years of navigating PCOS and multiple IUI cycles, Kortney finally heard the words she’d prayed for: "You’re pregnant." But the joy of expecting twins, Kinsley and Cameron, was met with a terrifying reality at her 20-week scan. Her cervix had opened, and her pregnancy shifted into a crisis no parent is prepared for.
In this episode, Kortney walks us through the delivery of her twins at 21 weeks, the "Cuddle Cot" that gave her precious time with them, and the grueling path through IVF to bring her daughter and son home years later. This is a raw look at grief, the "redemption" of a healthy birth, and learning that joy and loss can coexist.
Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.
🔹 New episodes drop every Monday!
🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter
🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters
🔹 Submit your story: [email protected]
🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com
🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.