Social Harmony - Time to Talk

Today I'm joined by my friend of over 20 years, Kerry McAllister to talk about her life in an episode that brought home to me just how much we're unaware of what is happening for those around us until we ask the question...

Kerry and I worked together in a 'celebrity chef' fronted gastropub in an environment that was fast-paced, physically and emotionally taxing and a solid mix of hard work and fun alongside some of the best people I have ever worked alongside - a number of whom I count as lifelong friends - Kerry is one of those friends.

From the start, Kerry often had to be more grown up than her tender years should have allowed and there was a great deal of dysfunction that just became part of the fabric of daily life - family harm, substance misuse and instability were always front and centre, all of which left it's particular scars.

From escaping to work on a prestigious cruise liner to various high-end restaurants across the United Kingdom, Kerry's life was the classic tale of burning the candle at both ends while working hard and partying even harder but her own demons were never quite silenced we hear first-hand how Kerry was often the architect of her own downfall whilst trying to hold things together for herself.

Volatile relationships, drug and alcohol excess, traversing the country (and also moving across to France for a while) and doing everything in her power to keep things together mentally and physically, Kerry talks openly about the highs, lows and all the bits in between that have made her the woman she is today. While she is always self-effacing and quick to highlight what she sees as her flaws, I see someone who has faced adversity head-on from a young age and still keeps going - even recently, when diagnosed with breast cancer her willingness to fight and her capacity to love those around her is an inspiration and I am proud to call her my friend.

Available on YouTube, Spotify and Apple Podcasts:

Social Harmony - Time to Talk - YouTube

https://open.spotify.com/show/4aAdbPrTjEEnwco5jII65U?si=8561a459c4db49c1

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/social-harmony-time-to-talk/id1792776061

Today I'm joined by Marlowe Kaufman - a therapist who combines counselling with neuroscience to provide behaviour change strategies across the board from those suffering from extreme depression to those looking to add a few extra performance points.

With Master's Degrees in both disciplines, Marlowe seeks to understand the psyche of her clients while approaching trauma, embedded behaviours and inbuilt limiting beliefs from both 'head and heart' in order to understand intrinsic feelings whilst applying techniques that work to alter neural pathways so that sustained change can occur.

Talking openly and with radical candour, Marlowe shares her motivations to begin working in this field, the hard work it has taken to get her to her current position, tragedies and challenges that have impacted upon her as well as the successes enjoyed. In addition, we discuss current attitudes towards mental wellbeing, impacts of social media, pathology versus idiosyncrasies and much more.

Available on YouTube, Spotify and Apple Podcasts:

Social Harmony - Time to Talk - YouTube
https://open.spotify.com/show/4aAdbPrTjEEnwco5jII65U?si=19d64d1357534e9f

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/social-harmony-time-to-talk/id1792776061

Check out Marlowe's work on the links below:

Navigating tantrums: What to do before, during, and after - Calgary's Child Magazine
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Today I'm joined by Ilke Lander - a mother, businesswoman, author, keynote speaker and inspirational coach to those who are looking to up their game that bit more...

Ilke's story begins by telling of how she moved regularly as a child and had lives in around 30 homes by the age of 30. This was not the result of a military upbringing but from a father who had a great deal of foresight and personal belief to pursue his dreams to make a better life for his family. These moves took Ilke to several countries, where she became bilingual and adaptive to the culture in which she found herself while using ballet as something to anchor herself around whilst the physical discipline required maintained her mental focus in addition to the theory of mind which enabled her to see different perspectives from her own.

As a young woman trying to define herself and carve a career path, Ilke was incredibly self-aware and would reflect deeply on what was (and what was not) serving her and what she needed to do to get to the point she wished to reach. In these "white stages" Ilke realised early on that she would need to grind hard to improve her skills, remaining intentional while she aimed at her goals.

While there have been many successes, there are also a large number of setbacks and challenges - the type that nobody posts on their social media highlight reel. Ilke talks in detail about some of her most difficult obstacles and the lessons learnt by facing and overcoming some of the toughest periods in her life.

Available on YouTube, Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Check out Ilke's work on the links below:

⁠Speaker | Coach | Consultant⁠
⁠Amazon.com: Ilke Lander: books, biography, latest update⁠
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Today I'm joined by Gaerecka Lyonns - creator and force behind The Mars Rising, a course aimed at parents (particularly mothers) that helps provide guidance for raising confident, secure and strong boys in a world that has left many confused, depressed and questioning of their own worth.

Gaerecka is a mother of two boys and grew up with a military upbringing that instilled values in her that she holds today - that said, she has led (by her own admission) a life that has been very anarchic, living as a street kid, libertarian and something of a tomboy.

While working in construction Gaerecka became something of a totem for the men she worked alongside, giving a female perspective when they would discuss their problems in stating or maintaining relationships with women. Her honesty and willingness to share without shaming gave her a unique insight into the male psyche and how nurturing and championing men to become their best selves led to positive outcomes for not just the men themselves but also those around them.

In a society that appears to preach an "us versus them" narrative, we appear to be isolating ourselves further from the connection that we are innately wired for - something made worse by the ostracising of boys from a young age by well-meaning people who, while trying to mould are causing harm either by over-indulging their sons or lack of nurture for masculine traits.

Gaerecka works with parents to help them understand the foundational needs of young boys, the positive aspects of masculinity, individual accountability and so much more that modern society seems determined to stifle much of which is positive about masculine qualities. Her belief that good men add value to the world and her conviction as both parent and coach shines through is her work and her daily life.

Available on YouTube, Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Check out Gaerecka's work on the links below:

https://themarsrising.myflodesk.com/

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Today I'm joined by a man whose name I don't know - but he goes by his alter-ego of The Confident Fat Guy.

The CFG is a podcaster and mental health advocate who looks to engage with people who are struggling by turning his own stories into ways of reaching out and relating on a fundamental level.

With a history that includes alcohol abuse, violence, rejection, loneliness and suicidal ideation, CFG uses his platform to talk openly about both the ways in which his life has been impacted by external events and the ways in which he has responded - both positive and negative - that have brought him to his current point in life, one in which he is content with who and what he is while better equipped to deal with the new challenges that life throws at him.

Talking candidly in a way that he previously - like so many men - was unable to do, CFG shares how he went from an angry and confused young man who would self-medicate with excessive alcohol consumption, through using violence to gain a sense of self-worth, to becoming a parent and putting down the bottle through to a man who has gained wisdom while fighting his demons - and now he wants to give back to the community.

Available on YouTube, Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Check out CFG's work on the links below:

https://open.spotify.com/show/4dZ6nLynqj8lbQaEbRkBV0?si=bdb602e0954d460e

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