The Laura Dowling Experience

Bob Cullen isn't a doctor or a traditional academic — he's a man who spent his early life around violence and addiction, spent years in prison, and has spent the time since trying to understand where that violence actually comes from. Now finishing a master's and preparing to start a PhD, he leads the Success Stories Programme, running workshops with men — including in prisons and on probation — about patriarchy, masculinity and the beliefs that quietly shape how boys become men.

In this conversation, Bob and Laura trace violence back to its roots: the way boys are taught that emotion is weakness, how shame and poverty drive harm, and why Bob believes we can't reduce violence against women without understanding masculinity itself. He's honest about the misogyny he still hears from men when no women are around, and clear that shaming men or simply telling them to "talk more" misses how the harm is learned in the first place.

The episode also turns inward. Bob speaks openly about the drugs, the self-harm and the years he couldn't look at himself in the mirror, and about the education, meditation and steady relationships that slowly turned things around. It closes on regret, accountability and self-forgiveness — and why, after all the work he's done, he still chooses to hold on to some of the guilt he carries.

Please note: this episode discusses violence, prison, abuse, misogyny and suicide, and may be difficult to listen to. Support links are included below.

🔑 Key Points

Violence has roots we rarely look at
Bob argues we'll never reduce violence against women by focusing on it alone — it has to be traced back to patriarchy and how masculinity is formed.

Boys learn early that emotion is weakness
From "boys don't cry" to the fear of being called weak by friends, boys are taught to suppress feeling and to prove they'll use violence if needed.

Shame is one of the biggest drivers of violence
Drawing on James Gilligan's work, Bob links most harm to shame, poverty and exposure to violence, and notes people are usually victims before they become perpetrators.

Misogyny didn't start with social media
He traces how men talk about women when none are around back through history, rather than blaming figures like Andrew Tate alone.

"Just get men talking" isn't enough
Bob explains why shaming men or telling them to open up misses how the harm is learned, and why his work is built on accountability and community instead.

Change came through education and connection
Getting clean in prison, meditation, journaling and a teacher named Andrea opened a path into study, feminism and the Success Stories work he now leads.

Accountability over easy self-forgiveness
Bob speaks honestly about the guilt he still carries, and why he chooses to hold it: not to punish himself, but as a reminder of who he doesn't want to become.

📚 Resources

Violence: Our Deadly Epidemic and Its Causes — James Gilligan
On shame, poverty and the roots of violence.

The Will to Change — bell hooks
On men, masculinity and love.

The Patriarchs — Angela Saini
How patriarchy took hold.

Success Stories Programme
The anti-patriarchy, anti-violence programme Bob runs with men.

Samaritans Ireland
Free 24/7 on 116 123.

Pieta
Free 24/7 crisis support on 1800 247 247.

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 — Introduction and the Success Stories Program
03:52 — Patriarchy, domination and masculinity
06:34 — Why focusing only on violence against women falls short
09:56 — "Boys don't cry" and the fear of weakness
12:45 — Shame, poverty and the roots of violence
13:40 — Misogyny's long history, from Pandora to Descartes
27:40 — Why "men just need to talk" isn't enough
32:56 — Victims before perpetrators
41:30 — Accountability, integrity and community
50:00 — Drugs, self-harm and going to prison
63:00 — The teacher who changed everything
79:23 — Regret, accountability and self-forgiveness
Thanks for listening! You can watch the full episode on YouTube here. Don’t forget to follow The Laura Dowling Experience podcast on Instagram @lauradowlingexperience for updates and more information. You can also follow our host, Laura Dowling, @fabulouspharmacist for more insights and tips. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review—it really helps us out! Stay tuned for more great conversations.
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In this bitesize moment pulled from the Laura Dowling Experience back catalogue, child and adolescent psychotherapist Dr Coleman Noctor explains why so many of us feel anxious and "behind," even when life is objectively fine.

He shows how the gap between expectation and reality fuels anxiety, why chasing "exceptional" leaves us discontent, and how aiming for his "four to seven zone" can bring us back to balance.

🔑Key Points
• Why anxiety often lives in the gap between expectation and reality
• How "demonising average" sets most of us up to feel like we're failing
• Why happiness is a passing moment, not a permanent state
• The "four to seven zone" as a practical way to aim for balance

🎧 Listen to the full episode here.
Thanks for listening! You can watch the full episode on YouTube here. Don’t forget to follow The Laura Dowling Experience podcast on Instagram @lauradowlingexperience for updates and more information. You can also follow our host, Laura Dowling, @fabulouspharmacist for more insights and tips. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review—it really helps us out! Stay tuned for more great conversations.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Becca Maberly did everything "right." An A-grade student with an obstetrician father, she got to the hospital, had her baby with no pain relief, and was home for lunch - certain she was going to be brilliant at motherhood. Then the postnatal period arrived, and she went, in her words, straight to the bottom of the class.

In this honest, funny and disarming conversation, Becca and Laura pull apart the gap between what we're told motherhood will feel like and what it can actually be. Becca talks about feeling like an unnatural mother, the loneliness of the long hours in between, and the maternal rage that surges from nought to a hundred over spilled milk. She shares the day she asked her GP for help and was sent to a psychiatric unit, only to be handed a leaflet and told to count to ten.

She also names something few people hear about: D-MER, or dysphoric milk ejection reflex - the wave of crushing sadness that hit her at every let-down, which she only understood years later. The conversation moves on through renegotiating a relationship after a baby, a ruptured ectopic pregnancy that nearly went unnoticed, and why Becca now believes the meaning of life is simply finding your own balance. It's a reminder that if you're not loving every moment, you're not failing - and you're far from alone.

🔑 Key Points

From A-grade student to the bottom of the class
Becca sailed through pregnancy and birth, then found the postnatal period the hardest thing she'd ever done — and the mismatch between expectation and reality floored her.

"Enjoy every moment" can do real harm
Being told to treasure a stage you are quietly struggling through can leave mothers feeling ashamed and isolated rather than supported.

Not bonding straight away is more common than we admit
Becca loved her son but didn't feel the instant, overwhelming rush she'd been promised — and says a baby can feel like a stranger for a long time.

D-MER is real and rarely talked about
Dysphoric milk ejection reflex brought a homesick, crushing sadness at every let-down; naming it, years later, changed how she understood it.

Maternal rage often comes from feeling unsupported
The nought-to-a-hundred surge over something tiny is frequently about exhaustion, unmet expectations and carrying too much alone.

Asking for help doesn't always get the right response
When Becca told her GP she was angry and shouting, she was sent to a psychiatric unit and handed a CBT leaflet — a reminder of how far perinatal support still has to go.

Talking openly is its own kind of therapy
Ranting honestly online led Becca to realise she wasn't the only one — and connecting with other women became the support she couldn't find elsewhere.

Honesty is the most useful thing we can offer new parents
Not to frighten anyone, but to sit somewhere between "you'll be great" and "this could be the hardest thing you ever do" — the truth is usually in between.

📚 Resources

A Mother Place
Becca's platform for honest, unfiltered motherhood

Postnatal Depression (HSE)
HSE information and support

Talk Therapy (HSE)
Talk therapy and counselling options

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 — Intro
01:51 — From A-grade student to the bottom of the class
04:00 — Calling BS on "enjoy every moment"
04:52 — The feeding nobody warns you about
09:31 — Loneliness and the hours in between
11:58 — The GP, a psychiatric unit and a CBT leaflet
15:13 — D-MER: the sadness that comes with let-down
19:19 — Maternal rage and the spilled-milk surge
22:16 — When your baby feels like a stranger
24:02 — Renegotiating the relationship after a baby
37:11 — Her book, and a ruptured ectopic pregnancy
42:28 — The meaning of life is balance
Thanks for listening! You can watch the full episode on YouTube here. Don’t forget to follow The Laura Dowling Experience podcast on Instagram @lauradowlingexperience for updates and more information. You can also follow our host, Laura Dowling, @fabulouspharmacist for more insights and tips. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review—it really helps us out! Stay tuned for more great conversations.
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In this bitesize moment pulled from the Laura Dowling Experience back catalogue, skin expert and Skin Nerd founder Jennifer Rock explains why so much health and skincare advice online is built to entertain rather than educate — and how to tell the difference.

She makes a straight-talking case for checking qualifications, standards and the source behind any advice before you act on it, so the next viral "must buy" doesn't catch you out.

🔑Key Points
• Why qualifications and standards matter in skincare and health
• How social media is designed to entertain, not educate
• Why you should always check the source of your advice
• A simple filter for viral trends and "must buy" claims

🎧 Listen to the full episode here.
Thanks for listening! You can watch the full episode on YouTube here. Don’t forget to follow The Laura Dowling Experience podcast on Instagram @lauradowlingexperience for updates and more information. You can also follow our host, Laura Dowling, @fabulouspharmacist for more insights and tips. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review—it really helps us out! Stay tuned for more great conversations.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Laura sits down with community pharmacist Darragh Connolly, who has built a men's health service — Men's Health Downunder — around something most clinics rush past: helping men get their sexual function back after prostate surgery. It's a candid, frequently very funny conversation about a subject usually wrapped in silence and shame.
Darragh explains the male anatomy in plain (and memorable) terms, why nightly "micro-erections" keep the penis healthy, and what actually changes after a prostatectomy. He walks through how a penis pump works, what constriction rings are for, and why this isn't only for men who've had cancer surgery — smoking, diabetes, spinal injury, certain medicines and simply getting older can all play a part.
Running through all of it is a hopeful message: a prostate diagnosis or surgery is not the end of sex, intimacy is far more than penetration, and men well into their 80s can still enjoy a full sex life. Darragh also makes the case for meeting men's sexual health at the pharmacy counter, not only the consultant's clinic.

🔑 Key Points

Sexual health is health — and still taboo
There's deep shame and silence around men's genitals and sexual function, and Darragh's whole approach is to demystify it, often with humour, so men actually seek help.

Micro-erections keep the penis healthy
Men have around five micro-erections a night that bring blood, oxygen and nutrients to the tissue; without them it's "use it or lose it", and the penis can shrink and lose function.

Erectile dysfunction has many causes, not just prostate surgery
Ageing, smoking, diabetes, lower-back trauma, spinal injury and some medications can all affect erectile function.

How a penis pump actually works
Used for five to ten minutes a day, it draws blood into the penis like training a muscle, improving vascular and nerve health over time.

Constriction rings let men maintain an erection for sex
Paired with the pump, a constriction ring traps blood to hold an erection for penetrative sex — but should never be left on more than six to eight minutes.

A prostate diagnosis is not the end of sex
With the right tools, men who hadn't had an erection in months or years can have penetrative sex again — and intimacy is always more than penetration.

Know the warning signs of prostate trouble
Dribbling, a weak stream, going more often (especially at night) and "stage fright" can point to an enlarged prostate; Movember is a good place to learn the signs.

📚 Resources

Men's Health Downunder
Darragh Connolly's Irish men's health service and the surgical-grade penis pumps discussed

Movember
the men's health charity Darragh recommends for prostate cancer, testicular cancer and male suicide awareness

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 — Welcome and sponsor
01:36 — Why a pharmacist is talking about men's health
03:24 — How Darragh got into men's health
04:32 — What a prostatectomy actually involves
07:28 — Male anatomy explained simply
13:48 — Micro-erections and "use it or lose it"
20:55 — How a penis pump works
24:31 — Constriction rings and maintaining an erection
38:33 — The prostate and its warning signs
52:44 — How Viagra and Cialis were discovered
57:00 — Low-dose Cialis, the pump and the post-surgery "void"
1:01:24 — Couples, intimacy and a hopeful note
Thanks for listening! You can watch the full episode on YouTube here. Don’t forget to follow The Laura Dowling Experience podcast on Instagram @lauradowlingexperience for updates and more information. You can also follow our host, Laura Dowling, @fabulouspharmacist for more insights and tips. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review—it really helps us out! Stay tuned for more great conversations.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.