Thriving Leaders Podcast

Can you be kind to your people and still hold them accountable?

In this Best Of episode, Jeremy and I explore a distinction that can change how we lead: the difference between being kind and being nice.

We talk about the conversations leaders sometimes avoid, and what that means for trust, accountability and the way a team works together.

Are you saying what your team needs to hear, or what feels easier to say?

Watch this Best Of to hear Jeremy’s perspective.

I’m Claire Gray, a leadership and team facilitator, executive coach and author of Thriving Leaders and Thriving Teams. Subscribe for practical conversations about leadership, team effectiveness and creating cultures where people can thrive.

https://www.youtube.com/@thrivingculture#accountability

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When two priorities both matter, why do leaders feel such pressure to choose one? The day-to-day work needs attention, but so does the future. A team needs room to act, but it also needs direction.

Wendy Smith has spent more than 25 years studying these recurring tensions. She joins me to explore why an either/or decision can feel so satisfying in the moment, yet leave leaders facing the same problem again.

We look at what both/and thinking asks of us in practice, including the conversations that become possible when different teams see a challenge from different sides. Wendy brings examples from organisational change, strategy and AI, and challenges the idea that holding two priorities means settling for a halfway compromise.

In this episode, we explore:
Why old and new priorities continue to compete as organisations change
The four common organisational paradoxes Wendy studies
How to spot the either/or question hidden in a difficult decision
Why both/and thinking asks for more than meeting in the middle
How listening reveals what each side actually needs
The tension between business as usual and future strategy
What AI reveals about fear, emotion and human judgement
How to separate competing demands before connecting them
Why a shared goal matters across organisational divides
How guardrails and measures help sustain two priorities
What Wendy means by balancing rather than finding a fixed balance

Wendy offers a practical starting point: name the tension, explore each side properly, then ask how you might accommodate both. It will not produce an easy answer to every decision. It can open up options that a quick choice would have kept out of view.
If your team keeps circling the same choice, this conversation may help you ask a better question.
Resources mentioned:
Both/And Thinking by Wendy Smith and Maryanne Lewis
Barry Johnson’s Polarity Map

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What separates a meaningful team conversation from another meeting where people simply exchange information?

In this Best Of episode of the Thriving Leaders Podcast, I revisit a standout moment from my conversation with Grant about the five skills behind better team conversations.

We explore why the quality of a conversation matters more than the amount of talking taking place and how greater presence, listening, courage and intention can help teams move beyond transactional exchanges.

You’ll hear us explore:
Why more meetings do not necessarily lead to better communication
What prevents people from being fully present
The skills that create greater depth and purpose in team conversations
Simple rituals that strengthen trust and connection
How hybrid teams can bring more humanity into the way they work

If your team talks frequently but does not always reach the clarity, honesty or depth it needs, this Best Of episode offers a practical place to start.

Subscribe for more standout insights from the Thriving Leaders Podcast and practical ideas for creating stronger leaders, healthier cultures and high-performing teams.

Learn more about my work at Thriving Culture: https://thrivingculture.com.au

#teamcommunication #leadership #highperformingteams

Why do so many strategies sound compelling in the boardroom but struggle to shape what people actually do?
In this episode of the Thriving Leaders Podcast, I speak with Alicia McKay, an Aotearoa New Zealand-based writer, speaker and strategist who has spent 15 years advising leaders on strategy, change and leadership. She is also the author of From Strategy to Action, You Don’t Need an MBA and Local Legends.
In this direct and thought-provoking conversation, Alicia and I challenge familiar assumptions about strategy, leadership and collaboration. We also examine what may be lost when judgement and decision-making are increasingly handed to automated systems.
If you have ever watched a strong strategy lose momentum after the planning session, this conversation will give you a different way to understand why—and what you can do about it.
In this episode, we cover:
How strategy is different in local government and the public sector than in corporate organisations
Why strategy often loses momentum after the planning process
How strategic thinking shows up in everyday leadership
What leaders may misunderstand about people and change
The transition from subject-matter expert to strategic leader
What gets in the way of cross-functional collaboration
How organisational systems influence behaviour
The relationship between trust, agency and accountability
What automation could mean for human judgement

Watch the full episode to hear Alicia’s refreshingly direct perspective on what it really takes to turn strategy into action.
About Alicia McKay
Alicia McKay is a writer, speaker and strategist based in Aotearoa New Zealand. She works with executive and elected leaders to improve strategic thinking, decision-making and leadership in complex environments.
Alicia is the author of:
From Strategy to Action: A Guide to Getting Shit Done in the Public Sector
You Don’t Need an MBA: Leadership Lessons That Cut Through the Crap
Local Legends: How to Make a Difference in Local Government
Resources and links
Alicia McKay’s website
About Alicia McKay
Alicia McKay’s books
You Don’t Need an MBA
From Strategy to Action

Subscribe to the Thriving Leaders Podcast for practical conversations about leadership, team performance and creating thriving workplace cultures.

Why do capable people find it so difficult to ask for help?

Leo Bottary argues that strong teams treat asking for help as an act of resourcefulness—not an admission of weakness.

In this Best Of episode of the Thriving Leaders Podcast, Leo and I explore the connection between psychological safety, feedback and shared accountability. We discuss why team members can struggle to speak up, how a simple change in language can make asking for help feel more inviting, and what happens when feedback becomes everyone’s responsibility.

Leo also shares a memorable team exercise that demonstrates how difficult it is to improve when we are effectively working blind.

You’ll hear us explore:
– Why successful people view asking for help differently
– How to turn a request for help into an invitation
– Why teams need consistent feedback loops
– The role of trusted intent when giving and receiving feedback
– How preparation and shared expectations support teams under pressure

Leo Bottary is an author, speaker, facilitator and the founder and managing partner of Peernovation. His work explores how peers help one another learn, perform and achieve more together.

Watch the full conversation: https://youtu.be/DJa8pzThdjc

I’m Claire Gray, leadership and team facilitator, executive coach, keynote speaker and author of Thriving Leaders and Thriving Teams. Through the Thriving Leaders Podcast, I share practical ideas for building stronger leaders, healthier cultures and high-performing teams.

Learn more: https://thrivingculture.com.au

Subscribe for practical conversations about leadership, psychological safety, accountability and creating teams where people can do their best work.

#PsychologicalSafety #HighPerformingTeams #Leadership