Ever wondered why people with chronic illness talk so much about spoons?In today’s episode, psychologists Sally and Seona dive into Spoon Theory - the cutlery-based metaphor that attempts to explain what it’s like to navigate life with limited energy. They unpack the origin story of the theory, created in 2003 by writer Christine Miserandino, who used a handful of spoons in a restaurant to explain the invisible daily costs of living with lupus.Sally and Seona chat about why the spoon metaphor resonates so deeply with people living with chronic health conditions, how it helps with communication, pacing and planning, and why “spoonies” everywhere have proudly embraced it. Expect laughs, real-life examples, and gentle validation for anyone who’s ever had to choose between washing their hair or answering an email.Whether you're running on one spoon or a full drawer, this episode is for you.Free Webinar - All I Want For Christmas... Is My Sanity - Preparing for Christmas Living with a Chronic Health ConditionLivology (Psychology - Private Practice)MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast
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32:27
The Pity Model: When Good Intentions Miss the Mark
We often hear about the medical and social models of disability — but there’s another one quietly shaping attitudes toward people with chronic illness and disability: the pity model, sometimes called the charity model.This model positions people as tragic or brave simply for existing, creating distance rather than connection. It can show up in fundraising drives, well-meaning comments, or systems that treat support as generosity rather than rights.In this episode, we unpack how pity disguises itself as kindness, how it impacts self-worth and inclusion, and what it takes to move from sympathy to solidarity.Free Webinar - All I Want For Christmas... Is My Sanity - Preparing for Christmas Living with a Chronic Health ConditionLivology (Psychology - Private Practice)MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast
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What an Ego!
In this episode, we’re talking about ego - not in the “you’ve got a big ego” kind of way, but in the psychological sense: the part of us that helps shape our identity, our sense of control, and how we relate to the world.For people living with chronic health conditions, understanding ego is powerful. Because illness challenges everything the ego likes: control, competence, independence, achievement, and identity.We’ll unpack what ego is, what it looks like when it’s in balance or out of balance, and how awareness of ego can support acceptance, connection, and self-compassion.Free Webinar - All I Want For Christmas... Is My Sanity - Preparing for Christmas Living with a Chronic Health ConditionLivology (Psychology - Private Practice)MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast
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34:40
Creating Habits: Reducing the Need for Will Power!
Join psychologists Sally and Seona as they unpack the art of habit creation when you’re living with a chronic health condition. We’re not talking about running marathons or green juice cleanses - we mean small, doable habits that actually make life easier. From moving your body (even a little), eating well without guilt, managing appointments and meds without losing your mind, to nurturing your relationships and mental health - we’ll cover it all with honesty and humour. Discover why tiny habits matter even more when energy is limited, and how to make self-care automatic on the days motivation has left the building. You’ll finish this episode with a few realistic, research-backed ideas to try this week - no perfection required. Because when life already demands a lot, good habits should help you breathe easier, not harder.Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)Free Webinar - All I Want For Christmas... Is My Sanity - Preparing for Christmas Living with a Chronic Health ConditionMS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast
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Green-Flag Relationships: How to Spot the Good Ones
Ever found yourself wondering if that friend who says, “You don’t look sick!” is waving a tiny red flag? In this episode, psychologists Sally and Seona dive into the world of green-flag relationships - the people who make you feel safe, seen, and slightly more human on the rough days. We unpack what red and green flags really mean, why supportive connections are good for both your mood and your immune system, and how to spot those rare gems who bring soup and good boundaries. Expect plenty of laughs, a dash of psychology, and some real-life stories about friendship, fatigue, and figuring out who’s worth your limited energy. Tune in for a warm, funny, and slightly irreverent chat about finding — and keeping — the people who let you be your gloriously imperfect self.Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)Free Webinar - All I Want For Christmas... Is My Sanity - Preparing for Christmas Living with a Chronic Health ConditionMS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast
Two psychologists on a mission to illuminate the realities of living with chronic health conditions. Hosted by Sally Shaw and Seona Ilalio, both living with chronic conditions themselves. They lead Livology, a private practice specialising in psychological support for those navigating chronic health challenges. Tune in to hear candid conversations and professional insights designed to create community and connection within the chronic health conditions population.
New Zealand