Neurodivergent Conversations | Autism, ADHD, AuDHD, PDA, Emotional Regulation, SEND parent, Meltdowns, Special Needs Parent

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If you started out with a clear picture of the kind of parent you'd be, and then real life quietly dismantled the whole thing, this episode is going to feel like someone finally gets it.

This week I'm joined by Carrie Grant, mom of four (one of whom joined their family through adoption), an autistic mama herself, and someone who has run a support group for more than 300 SEND families for nearly 15 years. Carrie talks about the moment she “jumped ship” from the parenting she'd planned to a completely new way of doing things, and how that shift was less a few tweaks and more a total worldview change.

We get into what it means to become a “professional parent” overnight, learning the acronyms, writing the endless emails, holding two worlds together, and how she and her husband David landed on different pages for a while before finding their way back to the same one. Carrie shares the reframe that stuck with me most: our kids don't rise up into our world, we grow up through theirs. She has zero interest in making her children look more neurotypical, and so much interest in who they actually are.

We're also honest about the hard parts. The mornings that swallow whole hours, the days you barely recognize yourself, the loneliness of feeling like no one around you understands. Carrie's answer to all of it is community, the kind of people you can sit with and just say “this morning was hard” without explaining a single thing. She talks about holding space, being held in mind, and why other SEND parents are, in her words, the most amazing parents she's ever met.

And if you're running on empty right now, her take on self-care alone is worth the listen. Spoiler: she gives you full permission to ignore the advice that doesn't fit your life.

Come sit with us. It does get easier, and you are so far from alone in this.

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If you've ever had that quiet little feeling that something with your child is just a bit different, and you couldn't quite put it into words for anyone else, this episode is going to feel like a deep exhale.

This week I sat down with Karla, who taught for 15 years in mainstream schools, moved into specialist neurodiversity settings, and then walked this whole journey herself as a mum. She works with parents in that tender, confusing space before there's any label or answer, and she breaks down the five stages so many of us move through without realising it even has a shape.

We talk about that first nagging feeling. The way we explain it away (it's been a busy term, it's COVID, they're just tired). The dismissal stage, where you start voicing your worries and people look at you like you're imagining it, which Karla says is hands down the hardest part. And then discovery and understanding, where you finally stop and think, no, I've sat with this long enough, I'm going to trust what I'm seeing.

I also share my own GP-told-me-it-was-my-American-accent story, because yes, that was a real thing someone said to me, and we get honest about how quietly we hand our power over to the professionals in the room and start losing our own voice.

The thread running through all of it is simple: you are the expert on your child. Not the playground mums, not the age group, not the assessment table full of people. You. And once you get into the SEN and EHCP side of things, where the system is stretched so thin and the urgency just isn't there, that voice matters more than ever.

If you're sitting in the messy middle right now, exhausted and second-guessing yourself, Karla has a message near the end that I literally soaked in while she said it. Come sit with us for a bit. You're not doing this wrong, and you're definitely not doing it alone.

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Follow Karla here

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SEEDS: Download the free SEEDS app and take one small step today: plant your first seed and see what God can grow.
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When you're hearing this, my family and I are in full wedding celebration mode, because one of my brothers is getting married. And while we are beyond excited, I know that for a lot of us a wedding invite can land with a stomach drop instead of a happy dance.

In this episode I walk you through exactly how we prepare our neurodivergent kids, and my own nervous system, for big family gatherings like weddings. These days stack every tricky thing on top of each other all at once. A new place, loud sounds, bright lights, itchy clothes, unpredictable timing, and a whole lot of social demand. Once you see what your child's nervous system is up against, it gets so much easier to know that a hard moment is not your child being difficult or you failing them.

Then we get practical. I share how we preview the day so it stops being a mystery, how we handle clothes and safe foods, why planning your timing and breaks in advance changes everything, and how one simple message to the host ahead of time can open up a quiet space when you need it. I also walk you through my on-the-day toolkit, what to do when a meltdown starts, and the one short sentence to keep in your back pocket for those well-meaning but not-so-helpful comments.

If you've ever quietly braced yourself before a big event, this one is for you. Leaving early with a regulated child in your arms is not failure. It's a total win, and you are doing a great job, mama.

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The Unfinished Idea Website

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Follow me on socials:

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SPONSOR LINKS:

SEEDS: Download the free SEEDS app and take one small step today: plant your first seed and see what God can grow.
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Her son signed his first word back after a full year of her signing to him. One year. At a fridge. Asking for milk.

If you have ever been told "have you looked into Makaton?" and then felt your stomach drop because that sounds like one more thing to learn, this conversation is going to feel like a big exhale.

I'm sitting down with Kaley, a Makaton tutor and the mum behind @sign_possible. Her son Rui was diagnosed with low muscle tone and global developmental delay at one, and autism at four. He wasn't hitting milestones, wasn't babbling, wasn't pointing. A speech and language therapist suggested Makaton as a bridge to communication when he was two, and Kaley went all in: she and her husband did the Level 1 and 2 course, then got the nanny, granddad, and both of his nursery key workers on it too.

She is honest about the middle part, the year where nothing came back and she nearly gave up. She is honest about how overwhelming it felt to be handed what looked like a whole new language while everything else in life was still happening. And she is honest about the thing that made it click: she stopped trying to learn all of it and picked five signs.

Rui is seven and a half now. He said his first word at five and a half. It was "me." Then "mummy." Then "yes."

I'll be honest, I learned a huge amount in this one. I know a little ASL but I really didn't know much about Makaton, and Kaley breaks down what it actually is, how it's different from British Sign Language, and exactly where to start if you're sitting there thinking "okay, I think this is us."

⁠Check out her resources

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If your child's meltdowns, big feelings, and constant motion have ever left you wondering what is really going on underneath it all, this episode is going to give you a whole new lens.

This week I'm joined by Dana Kay, founder of the ADHD Thrive Institute, who has worked with more than 1,600 families and walked this road with her own son, who was diagnosed at four and is now 16 and thriving. After years of trial-and-error with medication, Dana went back to school, dug into the science, and started looking at ADHD symptoms in a completely different way.

Her big idea is one I keep thinking about: behavior is communication. Instead of asking “why is my child behaving like this,” she invites us to ask “what might be stressing his system.” We talk about the hidden stressors she sees come up again and again in her work, from gut health and food sensitivities to nutrient depletion and that cumulative “trash can” load on the body. She shares the simple, doable first step she gives overwhelmed families (hint: it starts at breakfast and involves zero perfection), plus her no naked carb rule that any tired mama can actually pull off.

We also get real about what thriving truly looks like, and spoiler, it is not a perfect home with zero meltdowns. It is calmer, more connected, more ordinary in the very best way.

A gentle note before you dive in: everything Dana shares here comes from her own experience and her work with families, and every child is different. Think of this as food for thought, not a prescription. Please loop in your own doctor or care team before making changes to food, supplements, or anything else for your kiddo.

If you've been stuck in survival mode and quietly wondering if there's more to the story, come listen. There's so much hope in this one.

Check out her website and resources here

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