Clear the air

Family relationships can be some of the most supportive parts of our lives, but can be incredibly challenging when they are toxic. In this episode, we dive into what toxic family members really look like, and what to do about it. If you ever wanted to find a way forward when your relationships have become draining or unsafe, or learn how to set boundaries with family, including your parents, this is the episode for you. We cover the steps to protect our personal well-being and heal from trauma.

Our guest today is Dr Sherrie Campbell, a licensed clinical psychologist and author known for her work on toxic family dynamics, where she specialises in helping healthy people cut ties with the toxic people in their lives. She is a nationally recognised expert on family estrangement, a best selling author, TEDx Speaker, top 1% Podcast host of the “Sherapy Sessions: Cutting Toxic Family Ties”, a well-known social media influencer and a regularly featured media expert. In this episode, we dive deep into answering the following thorny questions.

00:00 - Intro
2:05 - How Sherrie became an expert in toxic families.
3:10 - Defining a healthy vs toxic family.
4:30 - Why it is easier to recognise you are in a toxic family in your 40s.
7:45 - What can you do to recognise this earlier?
10:00 - Where can you go to learn more about a toxic family?
12:25 - What are the 5 types of estrangement?
16:40 - When to use no contact as a coping strategy?
18:40 - How do you set and maintain your boundaries?
20:45 - Clinical example of boundary testing.
23:50 - Dealing with the guilt of setting boundaries.
26:00 - What support is available outside of therapy?
27:20 - Why do some people get stuck in a victim mindset?
28:40 - Why the "gray rock" method is a safer form of boundary setting for children.
30:20 - How does the level of contact evolve in the healing journey?
33:15 - How taking responsibility for your wellbeing is the first step to healing.
36:00 - What can you do to not perpetuate the cycle of trauma?
37:40 - Why providing validation is key in the role of a support person?
39:35 - How to maintain boundaries during the holiday season?
40:30 - Why self-love is an important part of healing?
41:40 - How to respond when the legal system gets involve?
43:30 - What is Sherrie’s one wellbeing practice?

Learn more about Sherrie https://www.linkedin.com/in/jan-ewing-7865712a/
Learn more about Clearhead https://www.myclearhead.com/

Trauma can take many forms, from single shocking events affecting a whole community to deeply personal experiences that unfold over time during childhood. We’ll explore how different types of trauma, such as traumatic brain injury, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and more can negatively impact our behaviour, relationships, and resilience later in life. Understanding how it affects us can be one of the first steps toward recovery. In this episode, we will uncover what really happens to the brain and body after trauma and what evidence-based interventions that help people rebuild their lives looks like in practice.

Our guest today is Dr Jan Ewing is a highly respected Clinical Neuropsychologist and Clinical Psychologist with over 40 years of experience specialising in trauma, brain injury, and complex psychological disorders. As a Fellow for the Australian Psychological Society, the Australian Society for the Study of Brain Impairment and the International Society for the Study of Trauma & Dissociation (ISSTD), Jan is recognised internationally for her expertise in understanding how trauma impacts the brain and behaviour. She has trained thousands of mental health professionals across Australia and served for more than 15 years as an educator at the University of Queensland. Jan also sits on the advisory panel for the Blue Knot Foundation, supporting adult survivors of childhood abuse.

In this episode, we dive deep into answering the following thorny questions.

00:00 - Intro
2:30 - How Jan became an expert in trauma recovery?
3:35 - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Trauma definitions.
6:30 - What happens to the brain during a traumatic event?
12:00 - How training helps with choosing whether to fight, flight, freeze or faint to survive during a traumatic event?
15:15 - When is it safe for the brain to re-regulate? 17:30 - What are PTSD symptoms? 21:40 - How long does it take to re-regulate the brain?
25:15 - What can we do to support someone after a traumatic event?
29:30 - What is the “window of tolerance” and how does it determine how easily you are triggered by trauma?
32:20 - What is a body memory, and how is it present even when you have amnesia of the trauma? 36:00 - The 3 phases of trauma processing that are part of recovery.
40:45 - How to identify someone has a history of trauma and how to best support them?
46:50 - How to help someone increase their window of tolerance? 48:45 - The different types of trauma.
51:00 - The difference between stress and trauma.
52:10 - Is full recovery possible after a traumatic event?
55:50 - Why is EMDR considered best practice for treating trauma?
59:00 - The role of shame in trauma.
1:01.15 - How can we tackle shame in order to speed up recovery?
1:03.40 - Why avoidance is the biggest barrier to trauma recovery?
1:04.30 - What is Jan’s one wellbeing practice?

Learn more about Jan https://www.linkedin.com/in/jan-ewing-7865712a/

Learn more about Clearhead https://www.myclearhead.com/

Despite living in a world filled with freedom, convenience, and choice, many of us still feel unhappy, lonely, and unfulfilled. Why is that, and what can evolutionary psychology teach us about who we are, where we come from, and what makes us happy? This episode explores how our most basic psychological needs, for connection and for autonomy, shape the way we think, feel, and relate to others. In today’s world, these two needs can sometimes conflict with each other, and this social paradox can have a real impact on our wellbeing.We’ll also discuss how the “social leap” our distant ancestors made from the rainforest to the savannah created a new kind of social intelligence, and how they coped with stressful situations. By understanding how our history plays out in the modern environment, we can shape our lives in ways that help us feel more content, more connected, and better able to manage negative emotions.

Bill's biography:
Our guest today is Bill Von Hippel. After a three-decade career as a psychology professor in the United States and Australia, Bill now writes books and conducts research, publishing over 150 academic articles across a range of psychological topics. His work has been cited over fifteen thousand times in academic literature and widely reported in the media, including The New York Times ‘100 Ideas of the Year’, The Economist, The Australian and more. Bill has been a guest on numerous podcasts, including The Joe Rogan Experience, Diary of a CEO, and Modern Wisdom with Chris Williamson. Bill’s first book, The Social Leap, has been translated into a dozen different languages and received the annual Book Prize from the world’s foremost social psychology society.

00:00 - Intro
02:40 - How Bill became an expert in evolutionary psychology.
03:50 - Evolutionary psychology definition.
05:35 - How deterministic are our genes in shaping our life outcomes?
08:00 - Has our mind evolved to be fit for the modern world or is there an evolutionary mismatch?
10:10 - Types of evolutionary mismatch - Miswanting and Misfeeling.
13:20 - Our main source of unhappiness is the conflict between our needs for connection and autonomy in our relationships.
16:00 - Should we retrain our brains to need less connection, or focus on meeting our connection needs to be happier?
19:10 - Why do successful people still feel lonely and dissatisfied in life?
20:30 - The definition of autonomy in the context of evolutionary psychology.
23:40 - The definition of success.
25:55 - Why do we often feel regret in a world full of choice?
29:25 - How do we limit regret and what is the best way to meet our need for autonomy?
32:10 - Why satificers are happier than maximisers?
34:30 - Why self-control is more about avoiding temptation than resisting temptation?
38:15 - Why, when we get what we want (autonomy), do we lose what we need (connection)?
42:05 - Why we should always optimise for connection over autonomy?
43:45 - Why remote work makes people less happy and less effective at work?
46:45 - Why it is also important to have a phone free policy at work and at schools?
47:45 - Should we legislate phone free policy or return to work policy?
48:45 - Are there people who will need autonomy more than connection?
51:30 - What can you do to make it easy to meet your connection needs in your daily life?
54:00 - How to reframe a threat as a challenge to reduce stress in your life?
57:10 - What is the goal of life?
57:50 - What is Bill’s one wellbeing practice? 

Learn more about Bill
https://www.linkedin.com/in/william-von-hippel/

Learn more about Clearhead
https://www.myclearhead.com/

For most of us, pain subsides fairly quickly as we recover from injury. For some, however, pain persists, making it challenging to return to our normal, full-functioning capacity. In some cases, chronic pain may develop due to stress, or even for unexplained reasons. However, due to the stigma and unconscious bias, individuals can feel too ashamed to ask for support or when they do, made to feel invalidated in their experience of chronic pain. The research shows that recovery and resilience are deeply social processes, and meaningful support can change someone’s ability to cope with pain.

Claire's biography:
Our guest today is Dr. Claire Ashton-James a social psychologist and Associate Professor of Pain Management at The University of Sydney Medical School. Her work uncovers how social relationships influence the experience of pain and vice versa. Her research advocates for the integration of social “treatments” into the management of chronic pain, so that people have the best chance of returning to full capacity and avoid relying solely on pain medications or therapy. 

00:00 - Intro
02:10 - How Claire became a social psychologist focused on pain management
04:20 - Definitions of chronic pain and acute pain
09:00 - Common misconceptions about people with chronic pain
12:30 - What Claire did differently after learning about these misconceptions
14:25 - How to support people in your life with chronic pain
16:45 - What workplaces can do to support employees with chronic pain
21:10 - Why social support is a key part of chronic pain management
22:25 - What someone with chronic pain can do if they don’t have a supportive social circle
29:15 - Are peer support groups helpful or harmful for pain management?
33:20 - When social connection can have a negative impact
34:25 - The unconscious biases health professionals may have against chronic pain patients
39:25 - What chronic pain patients can do when they experience invalidation from health professionals
41:55 - How to approach supporting someone struggling with chronic pain
44:05 - Acknowledging that chronic pain can cause social withdrawal
45:05 - What to do if pain prevents you from maintaining social connections
46:10 - Claire’s one wellbeing practice

Learn more about Claire
https://www.linkedin.com/in/claire-ashton-james-b271368a/

Learn more about Clearhead
https://www.myclearhead.com/

What if leadership wasn’t just about authority, decisions, or overseeing tasks done, but about developing powerful interpersonal relationships to inspire and influence?
In this episode, we will explore how Relational Leadership focuses on cultivating trust and connection. We’ll share practical tips on how to build meaningful relationships and navigate complexity, thus transforming our effectiveness as leaders. Learn how to cultivate leadership that is both empathetic while maintaining a standard of high performance and accountability in your team.

Moira's biography:
Moira Mallon is an expert in seeing beneath the surface and getting to the heart of the problem, which often in organisations is all about people and the dynamics they have with each other. Moira is a certified coach with the International Coaching Federation and for over 20 years has coached hundreds of leaders, including those leading the Christchurch’s post-earthquake rebuild. Her coaching is informed by systemic thinking, emotional development, and transformative tools like The Leadership Circle and a practice in Gestalt Psychotherapy. Whether she’s coaching CEOs, senior executives or rising leaders, Moira brings a fierce belief in the power of human potential.

In this episode, we dive deep into answering the following thorny questions:

00:00 - Intro
02:25 - How Moira became a leadership coach focused on leadership development
04:00 - What the emotional experience of leadership means
05:35 - Defining relational leadership
07:55 - How leaders can prioritise connection over control to create psychological safety
10:15 - The physiology behind helpful and unhelpful coping strategies during times of change
13:50 - How leaders can develop presence within an organisation
16:35 - The two key questions to ask when building connections with your team
18:25 - The importance of emotional control and consistency
20:35 - Managing the tension between employee performance and connection
23:10 - What separates leaders who build trust from those who don’t
26:10 - Modelling authentic leadership and resilience in high-pressure environments
29:10 - Influencing up - creating positive change when a leader lacks self-awareness
32:50 - How to intentionally build connection and trust in hybrid or remote teams
36:15 - How leaders can explore the emotional needs behind employee performance issues
39:00 - What defines a great workplace culture
42:00 - Is it bad culture if you’re clear about high workloads and long hours?
45:30 - How often leaders should communicate during periods of change
48:45 - The influence of indigenous practices on relational leadership
51:00 - How to respect boundaries when building deeper connections
52:45 - Why empathetic conversation is the first step toward relational leadership
55:10 - Moira’s one wellbeing practice