Understanding Disordered Eating: Eating Disorder Recovery and Body Image Healing

In last week's episode, we talked all about people pleasing. The kind where you say yes before you've even processed what was asked, and then immediately start doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out how you're going to follow through on something you didn't even want to agree to.
We're getting into how to stop the automatic yes without swinging to the other extreme, how to say no without turning it into a full explanation of your entire life, and how to actually say what's on your mind in a way that's clear and still respectful.
Quotes
"Assertiveness is being clear, direct, and respectful. The respectful part is what differentiates assertiveness from aggressiveness." - Rachelle Heinemann
"We have to become assertive while we're being anxious, and then ultimately we will feel less anxious later." - Rachelle Heinemann
"Overexplaining isn't kindness, it's anxiety management." - Rachelle Heinemann
" You don't overexplain, and you definitely don't hint. You don't build a case. You're not being a lawyer here. You just say what happened, what it was like for you, and what you need next time." - Rachelle Heinemann
"You do not become less of a people pleaser by understanding it alone, but by also tolerating the discomfort that comes along with the new behavior of asserting yourself." - Rachelle Heinemann
Resources
Brave on Purpose! - Grab my new book here!
Grab my Journal Prompts Here!
Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat!
Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit! 
 
LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode.
Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here!
You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]

In this episode, we're pulling back the curtain on what's actually happening underneath the surface. The suppressed needs. The tension. The resentment that builds while everything looks completely fine on the outside. And why your eating disorder might be stepping in to regulate what you're not expressing.
Tweetable Quotes
" So many people struggling with eating disorders also struggle with chronic people pleasing. That is not a coincidence. That is functional." - Rachelle Heinemann
"People pleasing ends up being a way of regulating a way to feel safe." - Rachelle Heinemann
"We're always looking out for what somebody else needs from me, and there isn't very much space for what I need in this situation." - Rachelle Heinemann
"When we don't express our needs, and we don't get what we need, they don't disappear. They get redirected. It never, ever disappears, even though we think we're really good at it." - Rachelle Heinemann
"There are all these suppressed needs, preferences, desires, etc. Then the tension builds and there's obviously a need for release because again, it doesn't go anywhere. And then the eating disorder behaviors step in as a means to regulate." - Rachelle Heinemann
"When your life is organized around keeping everybody else comfortable, your eating disorder is going to find and have a place to live." - Rachelle Heinemann
Resources
Brave on Purpose! - Grab my new book here!
Grab my Journal Prompts Here!
Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat!
Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit! 
 
LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode.
Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here!
You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]

In this episode, we're slowing that moment down and looking at what is actually happening beneath it. Because those urges are not random, and they are not a sign that you are failing. They are signals.
We're getting into why your brain reaches for old behaviors, what you are really needing in those moments, and how to create just enough space to respond differently without relying on willpower alone.
Tweetable Quotes
"Relapses or lapses don't start with the purging or the compulsive exercise or cutting the food out. It starts with the thought, obviously the urge: 'I'm gonna just do it, just because why not?'" - Rachelle Heinemann
"These things are not random. Everything makes sense. Whether or not you understand it, it's always there for a reason." - Rachelle Heinemann
"When our minds are almost seducing us to go back to some behaviors, or they just seem so enticing, it's because we wanna reduce discomfort." - Rachelle Heinemann
"Whenever there's an urge, whenever there's a thought, whenever we need something, it's not just that we're looking to the eating disorder behaviors, it's that we're actually needing something a little, a little deeper." - Rachelle Heinemann
"If you can delay the urge by being very deliberate about how you do that, then you just created a superpower for yourself." - Rachelle Heinemann
Resources
Brave on Purpose! - Grab my new book here!
Grab my Journal Prompts Here!
Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat!
Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit! 
 
LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode.
Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here!
You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]

There's a very specific kind of high that comes from validation. Someone compliments you, someone reassures you, someone notices you… And for a second, everything just settles. You feel calmer. More certain. A little more solid in yourself.
And then it fades.
So naturally, your brain goes, "Okay, cool, let's do that again."
You check your phone. You reread the message. You replay the compliment. You look for the next hit. And suddenly you're stuck in this quiet loop of needing more just to feel okay again.
It's subtle, but it runs deep.
Tweetable Quotes
"This is an unfortunate truth, but we are wired to need validation. That is not a weakness; it's a basic relational human need." - Rachelle Heinemann
"We need relationships in order to develop what I call the emotional backbone, like a sense of self." - Rachelle Heinemann
"If we don't have this emotional backbone, then we cannot fill it with external validation, even if there's a ton of praise in the world." - Rachelle Heinemann
"We have to learn to trust our internal experience and tolerate moments of self-doubt without outsourcing worth" - Rachelle Heinemann
"I don't need proof to exist. I don't need validation to take up space. I'm allowed to take up space on my own. I am good enough." - Rachelle Heinemann 
"Feeling hungry for validation is not a flaw. It's a sign that at some point in your life, your inner world wasn't consistently mirrored, seen, understood, acknowledged, etc." - Rachelle Heinemann
Resources
Brave on Purpose! - Grab my new book here!
Grab my Journal Prompts Here!
Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat!
Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit! 
 
LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode!
Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here!
You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]

There's a very specific kind of high that comes from validation. Someone compliments you, someone reassures you, someone notices you… And for a second, everything just settles. You feel calmer. More certain. A little more solid in yourself.
And then it fades.
So naturally, your brain goes, "Okay, cool, let's do that again."
You check your phone. You reread the message. You replay the compliment. You look for the next hit. And suddenly you're stuck in this quiet loop of needing more just to feel okay again.
It's subtle, but it runs deep.
Tweetable Quotes
"This is an unfortunate truth, but we are wired to need validation. That is not a weakness; it's a basic relational human need." - Rachelle Heinemann
"We need relationships in order to develop what I call the emotional backbone, like a sense of self." - Rachelle Heinemann
"If we don't have this emotional backbone, then we cannot fill it with external validation, even if there's a ton of praise in the world." - Rachelle Heinemann
"We have to learn to trust our internal experience and tolerate moments of self-doubt without outsourcing worth" - Rachelle Heinemann
"I don't need proof to exist. I don't need validation to take up space. I'm allowed to take up space on my own. I am good enough." - Rachelle Heinemann 
"Feeling hungry for validation is not a flaw. It's a sign that at some point in your life, your inner world wasn't consistently mirrored, seen, understood, acknowledged, etc." - Rachelle Heinemann
Resources
Brave on Purpose! - Grab my new book here!
Grab my Journal Prompts Here!
Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat!
Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit! 
 
LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode!
Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here!
You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]