PodcastsHealth & WellnessUnderstanding Disordered Eating: For anyone whose relationship with food feels harder than it should

Understanding Disordered Eating: For anyone whose relationship with food feels harder than it should

Rachelle Heinemann
Understanding Disordered Eating: For anyone whose relationship with food feels harder than it should
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213 episodes

  • Understanding Disordered Eating: For anyone whose relationship with food feels harder than it should

    203. What restriction actually is (it's not just skipping meals)

    09/06/2026 | 10 mins.
    In this episode, the conversation gets into the sneaky side of restriction. The kind that hides inside wellness culture, clean eating, safe choices, food guilt, and the constant running commentary in your head about what you should or should not eat. And honestly? A lot of it feels so normal that you do not even realize it's happening.
    There's also a really important conversation about why binge eating does not always come from physical deprivation alone. Psychological restriction matters too. Which is deeply annoying information for anyone who thought eating "enough calories" automatically meant they were healed.
    Quotes
    "Restriction lives in rules, not necessarily in the amounts." - Rachelle Heinemann
    "If there's a constant peanut gallery running on the commentary on whatever you eat, that's restriction." - Rachelle Heinemann
    "Your body is not necessarily distinguishing between not eating and not letting yourself eat freely." - Rachelle Heinemann
    "The fear itself is also part of the restrict-binge cycle." - Rachelle Heinemann
    "Restriction is anything that shrinks your relationship with food and with wanting it." - Rachelle Heinemann
    "You might have been living with this internally so long that it feels so normal. You might be living among people who are just immersed in wellness or diet culture for so long that it feels normal." - Rachelle Heinemann
    "The rigidity in your mind creates its own form of deprivation." - Rachelle Heinemann 
    Frequently Asked Questions
    What counts as restriction if I'm technically eating enough?
    Restriction is not only about calories or portion sizes. Psychological restriction counts too. Food rules, labeling foods as "bad," mentally negotiating every meal, delaying food until you've "earned it," or constantly trying to control what you eat can all create a restrictive relationship with food.
     
    Can restriction cause binge eating?
    Yes. Restriction is one of the biggest drivers of binge eating. When your body and brain feel deprived, physically or psychologically, it can create intense urges around food that feel chaotic or out of control.
     
    Why do I binge even when I wasn't hungry?
    A binge does not always start from physical hunger. Mental restriction, food rules, stress around eating, and feelings of deprivation can all trigger binge eating, even if you recently ate.
     
    What is psychological restriction?
    Psychological restriction is the mental side of dieting and food control. It includes obsessing over food choices, feeling guilty after eating, constantly planning how to "make up" for food, or believing certain foods are off limits even if you occasionally allow yourself to eat them.
     
    Why do I feel obsessed with food all the time?
    Food obsession is often connected to restriction. When your brain perceives food scarcity, whether through dieting, food rules, or inconsistent eating, it increases focus on food as a survival response.
     
    Can food rules lead to binge eating?
    Yes. Strict food rules often increase feelings of deprivation, which can intensify cravings and lead to binge-restrict cycles. The more rigid the rules become, the more emotionally charged food tends to feel.
     
    Why does intuitive eating feel out of control for me?
    For many people recovering from dieting or disordered eating, jumping straight into intuitive eating without structure can feel overwhelming. Hunger cues and trust around food are often distorted after years of restriction. Consistent, structured eating usually helps rebuild stability first.
     
    What is the restrict-binge cycle?
    The restrict-binge cycle happens when restriction leads to deprivation, obsession with food, urges to binge, guilt afterward, and then renewed attempts to restrict again. The cycle repeats because the restriction itself is often fueling the binge behavior.
     
    How do I stop obsessing over food?
    Usually not through more control. Eating consistently, reducing food rules, allowing flexibility with food, and rebuilding trust with your body can help decrease obsessive thoughts about food over time.
     
    Why do I feel guilty after eating certain foods?
    Food guilt is often learned through dieting, wellness culture, and rigid beliefs about "good" and "bad" foods. When food becomes morally charged, eating certain foods can trigger shame, anxiety, or urges to compensate afterward.
     
    Can you recover from binge eating without dieting?
    Recovery from binge eating usually involves reducing restriction, not increasing it. Healing the relationship with food often requires moving away from rigid dieting behaviors and learning consistent nourishment and flexibility.
     
    What are subtle signs of disordered eating?
    Some subtle signs include constantly thinking about food, avoiding certain foods, anxiety around eating socially, mentally tracking calories or portions, needing to "earn" food, guilt after eating, and feeling out of control around foods you try to restrict.
     
    Why do I feel out of control around certain foods?
    Foods often become more emotionally intense when they are restricted or labeled as forbidden. The feeling of losing control around food is frequently connected to deprivation, not lack of willpower.
     
    How do I rebuild trust with food?
    Trust is rebuilt through consistency. Eating regularly, reducing rigid food rules, working toward flexibility, and creating a more predictable relationship with food can help your brain and body feel safer over time.
    Resources
    Brave on Purpose! - Grab my new book here!
    Grab my Journal Prompts Here!
    Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat!
    Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit! 
     
    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode.
    Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here!
    You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at rachelle@rachelleheinemann.com
  • Understanding Disordered Eating: For anyone whose relationship with food feels harder than it should

    202. The More You Try to Eat Less, The More You Eat

    02/06/2026 | 9 mins.
    In this episode of Understanding Disordered Eating, I'm digging into one of the most misunderstood parts of binge eating: why dieting and restriction so often lead directly to the exact thing you're trying to avoid.
    And no, it's not because you "lack willpower." That story has been recycled enough already.
    We're talking about the restriction cycle; the physical and psychological deprivation that quietly builds all day long until your body eventually says, "Absolutely not," and takes over. If you've ever felt confused about why evenings feel so chaotic around food, or why you can't seem to "just stay consistent," this episode might explain more than you expect.
    Quotes
    " I don't actually believe that you are 'bad' for eating something that is a little bit more indulgent. The labels just really increase our guilt and our regret for eating certain kinds of foods that we really have no business feeling regret."
    "When we engage in some sort of restriction, whether that's active dieting or just sort of like cutting things out, it creates deprivation."
    "This is not about willpower because ultimately the binge or the chaotic eating or the bingey eating or the just eating emotionally… is the correction. It is not the crime."
    "You're blaming yourself for the end of a story that started way, way earlier."
    "The question isn't 'Why can't I stop binging?' It's 'What is my body responding to?' And that shift is the whole thing."
    Frequently Asked Questions
    Why does dieting lead to binge eating?
    Dieting often creates physical and psychological deprivation. When your body feels restricted, whether from not eating enough, cutting out certain foods, or following strict food rules, it becomes more focused on food. Over time, that deprivation can trigger binge eating as the body tries to compensate.
     
    Is binge eating caused by a lack of willpower?
    No. Binge eating is not simply a willpower issue. In many cases, it's a biological and psychological response to restriction, deprivation, stress, or food rules. The episode explains how binge eating can actually be the body's correction to feeling deprived.
     
    What is the restriction cycle?
    The restriction cycle happens when dieting or food rules lead to deprivation, which increases food obsession and cravings. Eventually, that buildup can result in binge eating or chaotic eating, followed by guilt and more restriction, repeating the cycle.
     
    Can you be restricting food without realizing it?
    Yes. Restriction does not always look like skipping meals or extreme dieting. It can include labeling foods as "good" or "bad," avoiding certain foods, waiting too long between meals, eating "clean," or creating rigid food rules.
     
    Why do I binge eat at night?
    Many people experience binge eating at night because restriction, stress, hunger, and mental exhaustion build throughout the day. By evening, the body and brain are more vulnerable to overeating, especially after long periods of physical or psychological deprivation.
     
    What causes food obsession or "food noise"?
    Food obsession often increases when the body feels deprived. When you are restricting food or mentally fixating on eating "perfectly," the brain becomes hyper-focused on food as a survival response.
     
    How do I stop the binge-restrict cycle?
    Breaking the binge-restrict cycle starts with identifying the restriction underneath the binge eating. That may include eating more consistently, reducing food rules, challenging guilt around food, and understanding what your body is actually responding to instead of blaming yourself.
    Resources
    Brave on Purpose! - Grab my new book here!
    Grab my Journal Prompts Here!
    Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat!
    Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit! 
     
    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode.
    Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here!
    You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at rachelle@rachelleheinemann.com
  • Understanding Disordered Eating: For anyone whose relationship with food feels harder than it should

    201. 3 Reasons You Don't Trust Your Hunger

    19/05/2026 | 22 mins.
    There's a very specific kind of panic that happens when someone says, "Just listen to your hunger."
    Because in theory? It sounds so simple. Eat when you're hungry. Stop when you're full. Trust your body. Very calming Pinterest quote energy.
    And then real life happens.
    In this episode, I'm breaking down why that happens.
    We're talking about how years of restriction, dieting, food rules, and trying to override your body can completely distort your hunger cues. We're getting into the fear of "if I start eating, I won't stop," why so many people feel like their hunger is excessive or wrong, and why the advice to "just trust your body" can backfire when your body has spent years not being listened to.
    Quotes
    "The fear of, 'If I let myself eat, it's never gonna stop, and I'm just gonna keep being hungry because there is no on or off switch, it's just on,' is rooted a lot of time in past experience. So it sort of reinforces the concept that you should be afraid of your hunger." - Rachelle Heinemann
    "It's really hard to trust a signal when you think that following it will have consequences that you cannot accept." - Rachelle Heinemann
    "We have to develop accurate hunger cues, and then the trust that you will actually feed it." - Rachelle Heinemann
    "Hunger is not a failure and it's not dangerous. It's something that is just a signal." - Rachelle Heinemann
    Frequently Asked Questions
    Why do my hunger cues feel so extreme?
    A lot of times, hunger cues feel extreme because your body has spent years not trusting that food is consistently coming. If you restrict, delay eating, skip meals, or constantly override hunger, your body eventually stops giving subtle cues and starts screaming. So instead of "slightly hungry," you go from nothing to starving.


    Why do I feel hungry again right after eating?
    Sometimes, because the meal genuinely wasn't enough. Sometimes, because your body is trying to recover from restriction. And sometimes, because hunger doesn't work on the perfect schedule, people think it should. Hunger is not a stopwatch. Your body does not care that lunch was 45 minutes ago if it still needs energy.
     
    Why does intuitive eating feel chaotic for me?
    Because if your body has a history of restriction, "just listen to your hunger" can feel like opening the floodgates. Your body is trying to protect you from famine, not create balance right away. That's why structure and consistency usually have to come before hunger cues feel calm and reliable.
     
    Can restriction cause binge eating?
    Yes. When you repeatedly ignore hunger or don't eat enough, your body eventually responds with urgency around food. That's why binge eating often feels chaotic and out of control after periods of restriction. It's not a lack of willpower. It's your body trying to keep you alive.
     
    Why am I always thinking about food?
    Usually, because your body and brain don't feel safe around food yet. Restriction increases food thoughts. Hunger increases food thoughts. Constant rules around eating increase food thoughts. Most people are shocked by how much quieter their brain gets once they start eating consistently.
     
    How do I trust my hunger cues again?
    Usually not by immediately relying on them. Ironically, trust gets rebuilt through consistency first. Eating regularly, eating enough, and creating structure teach your body that food is not disappearing. Over time, hunger becomes more subtle, clearer, and less urgent.
     
    Will I gain weight if I start listening to my hunger?
    Possibly. Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. The bigger issue is that if you are actively terrified of weight gain while trying to heal your relationship with food, those two things usually fight each other the entire time. Recovery often requires putting intentional weight loss on pause long enough to let your body stabilize.
     
    Why does hunger feel emotionally overwhelming?
    Because for a lot of people, hunger is tied to desire, need, permission, and taking up space. It's not just about food. Listening to hunger often means acknowledging wants and needs in general, and that can feel deeply uncomfortable if you've spent years minimizing yourself.
     
    Can hunger cues stop working after years of dieting?
    Yes. Hunger cues can become really distorted after chronic dieting, restriction, or disordered eating. Some people barely feel hunger until they're ravenous. Others feel hungry all the time. That doesn't mean your body is broken. It usually means your body has adapted to inconsistency.
     
    Why can't I stop eating once I start?
    A lot of people think this means they're addicted to food or lack discipline. Usually, it means they're underfed. When your body thinks food is scarce, it's not interested in moderation. It's interested in survival.
     
    Should I eat even if I'm not hungry in recovery?
    A lot of times, yes. Especially early on. If your hunger cues are unreliable, waiting until you feel hungry enough can keep you stuck in the restriction and binge cycle. Structure helps rebuild stability before hunger cues become more trustworthy.
     
    What does normal hunger actually feel like?
    Usually a lot less dramatic than people expect. Over time, hunger becomes softer, earlier, and more informational. It stops feeling like an emergency and starts feeling like a cue.
    Resources
    Brave on Purpose! - Grab my new book here!
    Grab my Journal Prompts Here 
    Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat!
    Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!
    Basics of Intuitive Eating Episode
     
    The 6 Week Body Image Group is a small, Zoom-based group for women where we actually talk about this — the thoughts, the patterns, the why. Each week, dietitian Sydney Greene and I,  (therapist Rachelle Heinemann) hold an open, honest conversation about what it feels like to live in a body and how to build a genuinely different relationship with it. Not a diet. Not a fix. Just real work, with the right people, in a room that gets it.
    Details: Wednesdays, 7 PM EST | $100/session | Superbills available | Starts early June
    Email sydney@sydneygreenehealth.com to save your spot.
     
    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode.
    Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here!
    You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at rachelle@rachelleheinemann.com
  • Understanding Disordered Eating: For anyone whose relationship with food feels harder than it should

    200. 3 Capacities That Matter More Than Motivation in Eating Disorder Recovery

    12/05/2026 | 16 mins.
    Guys. We just hit Episode 200!! 
    Whether you've been here since the beginning or you just found this podcast five minutes ago, I'm really glad you're here. This space has grown in ways I never expected, and it only works because you keep showing up and actually doing this work alongside me.
    In this episode, we're shifting the focus away from motivation and onto three capacities that actually determine whether you can follow through. These are the things that help you take action when you're tired, overwhelmed, not in the mood, or honestly just done with all of it.
    This is the work that makes recovery possible in real life, not just in theory.
    If you've ever felt stuck in that cycle of wanting to change but not being able to act on it consistently, this is where things start to make a lot more sense.
    Quotes
     "Ultimately, if motivation were enough, most of you would already be recovered." - Rachelle Heinemann
    "Motivation depends on your mood. It depends on your level of energy, and very often eating disorders reduce motivation for recovery because they solve something." - Rachelle Heinemann
    "Recovery requires skills that you can use without that feeling." - Rachelle Heinemann
    "Most eating disorder behaviors are attempts to regulate discomfort quickly. It is not necessarily instant gratification, but in some ways it is." - Rachelle Heinemann
    "There is no full recovery without relational recovery as well." - Rachelle Heinemann
    Resources
    Brave on Purpose! - Grab my new book here!
    Grab my Journal Prompts Here!
    Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat!
    Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit! 
     
    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode.
    Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here!
    You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at rachelle@rachelleheinemann.com
  • Understanding Disordered Eating: For anyone whose relationship with food feels harder than it should

    199. Assertiveness Skills for People Who Freeze

    05/05/2026 | 25 mins.
    In last week's episode, we talked all about people pleasing. The kind where you say yes before you've even processed what was asked, and then immediately start doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out how you're going to follow through on something you didn't even want to agree to.
    We're getting into how to stop the automatic yes without swinging to the other extreme, how to say no without turning it into a full explanation of your entire life, and how to actually say what's on your mind in a way that's clear and still respectful.
    Quotes
    "Assertiveness is being clear, direct, and respectful. The respectful part is what differentiates assertiveness from aggressiveness." - Rachelle Heinemann
    "We have to become assertive while we're being anxious, and then ultimately we will feel less anxious later." - Rachelle Heinemann
    "Overexplaining isn't kindness, it's anxiety management." - Rachelle Heinemann
    " You don't overexplain, and you definitely don't hint. You don't build a case. You're not being a lawyer here. You just say what happened, what it was like for you, and what you need next time." - Rachelle Heinemann
    "You do not become less of a people pleaser by understanding it alone, but by also tolerating the discomfort that comes along with the new behavior of asserting yourself." - Rachelle Heinemann
    Resources
    Brave on Purpose! - Grab my new book here!
    Grab my Journal Prompts Here!
    Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat!
    Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit! 
     
    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode.
    Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here!
    You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at rachelle@rachelleheinemann.com
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About Understanding Disordered Eating: For anyone whose relationship with food feels harder than it should
Your relationship with food is telling you something. This show helps you figure out what. Understanding Disordered Eating is hosted by Rachelle Heinemann, licensed therapist and eating disorder specialist in New Jersey and New York. Each episode explores why we do what we do around food — not to judge it, but to understand it. Because when you understand what your relationship with food is actually doing, everything starts to make sense. For anyone whose relationship with food feels harder than it should. And for the clinicians who sit with them every week. New episodes every Tuesday.
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